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针对低层次学校学生读后续写解题指导案例
——2023学年春学期开学考（五校联考）读后续写试题
目录/Content
01
02
03
04
试题文本
解题指导
思维导图
读后续写评分标准
01
思维导图
02
试题文本
（文本335词，段首句20词）
试题文本
A Little Boy
A little boy selling newspapers for school walked up to a house that people rarely visited. The house was very old and shabby and the owner hardly ever came out. When he did come out, he would not say hello to his neighbors or passers-by but simply just glare at (盯着看) them.
The boy knocked on the door and waited, sweating from fear of the old man. The boy’s parents told him to stay away from the house, and a lot of other neighborhood children were told the same thing from their parents.
Dust found the boy lingering on and hesitating what to do. As he was ready to walk away, the door slowly opened. “What do you want ” the old man said impatiently(不耐烦地). The little boy was very afraid but he had a quota (份额）to meet for school with selling the newspapers. So he got up the courage and said, “ Uh, sir, I am selling these newspapers and uh, I was wondering if you would like to buy one from me.”
The old man just stared at the boy without a word. The boy could see inside the old man’s house and saw that he had dog figurines (小雕像) on the fireplace. “Do you collect dogs ” The little boy asked. “Yes, I have many collections in my house. They are my family here and they are all I have.” The boy then felt sorry for the man, as it seemed that he was a very lonely soul (灵魂).
“Well, I do have a newspaper here for collectors. It is perfect for you. I also have one about dogs since you like dogs so much.” The old man was ready to close the door on the boy and said, “No, boy. I don’t need any newspapers of any kind, now goodbye.”
The little boy was sad that he was not going to make his quota with the sale. He was also sad for the old man being so alone in the house. The boy went home and then had an idea. He had a little dog figurine that he got some years ago from an aunt. The figurine did not mean nearly as much to him since he had a real live dog and a large family.
试题文本
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
From that day on, something changed inside the old man.
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解题指导
文体：记叙文
人称: 第三人称
时态：一般过去时
文章大意：讲述了一个孤独的从不与人打交道的老人，因为一个孩子的小小的善举，改变了他的人生态度的故事。
I. 文本解读
When
Where
Who
II. 记叙文的六要素
What
Why
How
one day
at the gate of the old man’s house
the little boy and the old man
the little boy hoped to sell his newspapers but failed
the old man was lonely and didn’t want to
deal with anyone
How did the little boy help the old man and how did the old man change in the end
A little boy came to a strange old man’s house gate to sell newspapers.
The little boy got up the courage to knock on the door in order to finish the school task.
The old man was very unfriendly and refused to buy the boy’s newspapers.
The little boy felt sad both for his failing to sell newspapers and for the old man being so alone in the house.
Knowing the old man liked collecting dog figurines and remembering his spare dog figurine, the little boy had an idea and headed back to the old man’s house. ......
From that day on, something changed inside the old man. …
III. 梳理故事情节线
Beginning
Bulid-up
Conflict
Resolution
Ending
A Little Boy
IV. 分析人物性格和情感
The boy knocked on the door and waited, sweating from fear of the old man.
The little boy was very afraid ... got up the courage and said ...
Dust found the boy lingering on and hesitating what to do.
The little boy was sad that ... He was also sad for the old man ...
01
03
02
04
The little boy
kind-hearted
frightened
hesitant
brave
sympathetic
IV. 分析人物性格和情感
The old man
hard to get on with
unfriendly
... a house that people rarely visited.
The house was very old and shabby and the owner hardly ever came out.
The boy's parents told him to stay away from the house, and ... neighborhood children were told the same thing from their parents.
the old man said impatiently.
The old man just stared ... without a word.
The old man was ready to close the door on the boy and said ...
1. 研究所给首句, 寻找原文线索
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路1：Why did the little boy go back → to help the old man
思路2：The old man liked dog figurines very much. What was the little boy’s idea
②原文：The boy went home and then had an idea . ... saw that he had dog figurines..
“ Yes, I have many collections in my house. They are my family here and they are all I have.”
①第一段首句“went back”：
1. 研究所给首句, 寻找原文线索
Paragraph 1:
③原文：The figurine did not mean nearly as much to him since he had a real live dog and a large family.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路3：How did the little boy deal with his figurine
思路4：The old man accepted the little boy’s help.
④第二段首句“something changed”：
1. 研究所给首句, 寻找原文线索
Paragraph 2:
From that day on, something changed inside the old man.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路5：The old man changed his mind and attitude towards others.
2.推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
思路1+思路2+思路3+思路4
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
2.推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
He arrived at the old man’s house and knocked on the door. (基础）
思路1 ：to help the old man
He arrived at the old man’s house with fear in his heart but he got up
the courage to knock on the door. （高级）
... with fear in his heart but he got up the courage...
（...心中充满了害怕，但他鼓起勇气...）
运用“with + n.+介词短语”描写心理活动
2.推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路2: The old man liked dog figurines very much. What’s the boy’s idea
Finally,the door opened. Seeing the boy for a second time,the old man didn’t control his anger and cried,”I’ve told you I need no newspapers at all!”“Er...,sir,I just come to give you a gift,”said the little boy, slowly taking the dog figurine out of his pocket. （高级）
Finally, the door opened. The old man saw the little boy and
was very angry. The little boy handed him the dog figurine.(基础）
① 运用分词短语作状语描写人物动作，提高语言的丰富性
Seeing the boy for a second time, ...
..., slowly taking a dog figurine out of his pocket.
② 运用直接引语，增加表达的生动性
“I’ve told you I need no newspapers at all!” “Er..., sir, I just come to give you a gift,” ...
思路3: How did the little boy deal with his figurine
2.推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Paragraph 1:
The little boy went back to the old man’ s house.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Taking the figurine from the boy’s hand, the lonely soul was so astonished that he could say nothing, with tears in his eyes. A feeling of gratitude welled up inside him. In return, the old man bought some newspapers from the boy.（高级)
The old man became very astonished. He took the dog figurine from the boy’s hand and was moved. In order to thank the little boy, the old man bought some newspapers. （基础）
① 运用分词短语作状语描写人物动作，提高语言的丰富性
Taking the figurine from the boy’s hand, ...
② 运用状语从句描写心理和动作，提高语言的多样性
... so astonished that he could say nothing ...
③ 运用“with+ n.+介词短语”描写表情
..., with tears in his eyes. （眼睛里充满了泪水）
④ 运用“万金油”式写法，描写心理活动
A feeling of gratitude welled up inside ...
A feeling of ××× welled up inside sb. (......的感情涌了上来）
思路4 ：The old man accepted the little boy’s help and bought some newspapers from the boy.
2.推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
Paragraph 2:
From that day on, something changed inside the old man.
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路5:The old man changed his mind and attitude towards others.(friendly)
He started coming out of the house and talking to his neighbors. The old man got on well with his neighbors and no longer felt lonely. （基础）
The neighbors saw the old man not always stay at home but often hang out and greet others with a bright smile, showing his happiness. He often invited children who were willing to play with him to his house and show them his figurine collections. People living in the neighbourhood started to like the old man and make friends with him. The old man realized the true spirit of life and enjoyed the warmth of love. （高级）
V. 研究所给首句，寻找原文线索，推断续写框架, 构思续写情节
思路5:The old man changed his mind and attitude towards others.(friendly)
① 运用具体描写（动作、表情）增加生动的画面感
④People started to like the old man and make friends with him. （故事的完美结局）
⑤The old man realized the true spirit of life and enjoyed the warmth of love. （主题升华）
... saw the old man hang out and greet others with a bright smile, showing his happiness.
... invited ... and ... showed ...
see sb. do （感官vt.+宾语+宾补）
...，showing his happiness. （分词作伴随状语）
②模仿原文第一段第三句“he would not say hello to his neighbors or passers-by but simply just glare at them.”...
not always stay at home but often hang out ... “... not... but...” (不是... 而是...）
③模仿原文第一段第一句“A little boy selling newspapers for school walked up to a house that people rarely visited.”...
children who were willing to play with him ...
People living in the neighbourhood ...
定语从句：n.+关系词+从句
现在分词短语作后置定语：n.+ v-ing短
VI.常用高级句型
1. 现在分词作状语
v-ing ..., 主+谓+（宾）/ 主+谓+（宾），v-ing ...
e.g./ Waving back with a smile, I watched the truck disappear into the distance.
（我微笑着挥手回应，看着卡车消失在远处。）
I always give a hand to them, hoping to pass on kindness.
（我总会出手相助，希望把善良传递下去。）
2. With + n.+ 介词短语
e.g./ Harry returned happily, with some coins in his hand.
(哈里愉快地返回，手里拿着一些硬币。）
Mom hugged the girl softly, with happiness in her heart.
(妈妈抱住小女孩，心里充满了幸福。）
3. 描写心情的“万金油”句式: A feeling of ... welled up inside sb. (...充满了...的感情。/ ...的感情涌了上来。）
e.g./ A feeling of anger welled up inside him. （愤怒的感情涌上他心头。）
A feeling of excitement welled up inside Tom. （Tom心中充满了兴奋。）
VI.常用高级句型
4.感官vt. + 宾语 + 宾补（do/doing）
e.g./ I often see him work in the garden.
（我经常看到他在花园干活。）
I heard the wind buffeting the cloth of the tent.
(我听到风猛烈拍打篷布的声音。）
5.原文第一段第三句可模仿的佳句：...not...but... (不是... 而是...）
e.g./ I didn’t intend to blame him but to praise him. (我没有打算责备他，而是要表扬他。）
The meal is not for one, but for many to enjoy. （这顿饭不是为了一个人的，而是供大家享用的。）
VI.常用高级句型
6.原文第一段第一句可模仿的佳句：
“A little boy selling newspapers for school walked up to a house that people rarely visited.”
a little boy selling newspapers for school 现在分词短语作后置定语：n.+ v-ing短语
a house that people rarely visited. 定语从句作后置定语：n.+关系词+从句
e.g./ The man standing by the door is the English teacher who comes from America.
（站在门边的那个男子是一位来自美国的英语老师。）
I felt a warm glow spreading inside me and a happiness that I had never experienced.
（我感到一股暖流在心中涌起，有一种从未体验过的幸福感。）
VII. 参考范文
Paragraph 1: (100词）
The little boy went back to the old man’s house. He arrived at the old man’s house with fear in his heart but he got up the courage to knock on the door. Finally, the door opened. Seeing the boy for a second time, the old man didn’t control his anger and cried, “ I’ve told you I need no newspapers at all!”“ Er..., sir. I just come to give you a gift,”said the little boy, slowly taking the dog figurine out of his pocket. Taking the figurine from the boy’s hand, the lonely soul was so astonished that he could say nothing, with tears in his eyes. A feeling of gratitude welled up inside him. In return, he bought some newspapers from the boy.
VII. 参考范文
Paragraph 2:（71词）
From that day on, something changed inside the old man. The neighbors saw the old man not always stay at home but often hang out and greet others with a bright smile, showing his happiness. He often invited children who were willing to play with him to his house and showed them his figurine collections. People living in the neighbourhood started to like the old man and make friends with him. The old man realized the true spirit of life and enjoyed the warmth of love.
VII. 参考范文
Paragraph 2:（71词）
From that day on, something changed inside the old man. The neighbors saw the old man not always stay at home but often hang out and greet others with a bright smile, showing his happiness. He often invited children who were willing to play with him to his house and showed them his figurine collections. People living in the neighbourhood started to like the old man and make friends with him. The old man realized the true spirit of life and enjoyed the warmth of love.
04
读后续写评分标准
读后续写评分标准
1. 写作思路
(1) 基本情节：
前文大意：文章讲述了一个孤独的从不与人打交道的老人，因为一个孩子的小小善举，改变了他的人生 态度的故事。
续写思路：小男孩知道老人喜欢收集小狗雕像，决定把自己闲置的小狗雕像送给老人，......
小男孩的行为感动了老人，老人开始敞开心扉，与人为善。
读后续写评分标准
1. 写作思路
(2) 续写要点（建议）：
续写首句核心词：a dog figurine ； something changed inside the old man
第一段：小男孩送小狗雕像。（小男孩再次返回老人住处，带着自己闲置的小狗雕像，决定送给老人……，老人很感动。）
第二段：老人内心发生了改变。（从那天起，老人开始走出家门，与人打招呼，脸上带着笑容，内心不再孤独，认识到生命的价值）
(3) 重点细节：
①小男孩再次与老人见面时的交流。 ②老人内心改变的具体表现。
读后续写评分标准
2. 评分标准
（1） 评分原则
①给分公平、公正；宽严并济，不能过严或过松；得分有理，扣分有据。
②立意积极、情节合理、语言水平及风格（语言风格与前文一致）、书写美观。
③三个逻辑一致原则：续写部分与所给短文之间的逻辑一致；续写两段内容之间的逻辑一致；续写部分与所给开头语之间的逻辑一致。
（2）评分程序
阅读第1遍：根据续写总体情节及重点内容描写，初步确定所属档次。
阅读第2遍：根据写作语言（修辞、句式，词汇等），确定或调整档次。
阅读第3遍：看词数（少于130个，从总分中扣2分）；看书写（书写及卷面较差的降一档次）。
读后续写评分标准
（3）评分档次
本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分。
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