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(共22张PPT)
读 后 续 写 精 析
“瘸腿”奶奶的谎言
I heard her sing when I opened the door.And I saw my crippled (跛腿的) grandmother was dancing. I was absolutely shocked. Her legs were crippled as long as I could remember. She once was the pet of the dancing world. And then she had her accident and it was all over. I read that in an old newspaper. She turned around and saw me. Grandmother sighed and turned towards the kitchen. I followed her and saw shewas walking fine. So, out of curiosity, I asked her “what's going on ”Oh Dear, let me share a little story of mine. “When your grandfather went to war, I was so afraid of losing him, the only way I could stay sane was to dance. And I became very good. Critics praised me, the public loved me, but all I could feel was the ache in my heart, not knowing whether the love of my life would ever return. Then I went home and reread his letters until I fell asleep. He always ended his letters with “You are my joy. I love you with my life” and after that he wrote his name.And then one day a letter came.There were only three sentences: “I have lost my leg. I give you back your freedom.It is best youforget about me..”“I made my decision there and then.I bought myself a cane and start pretending to be crippled.I told areporter I had a car accident,and couldn't dance again. Then I went to see your grandfather.” I told him “you're not the only one who lost a leg; I am not going to let you feel sorry for yourself. There is a whole life waiting for us out there! I don't intend to be sorry for myself, so you'd better snap out of it too.” Grandmother giggled and continued. “I limped toward him and showed him two engagement rings. ‘Nowshow me you are still a man,’I said, ‘I won't ask again.’He bent to take his cane from the ground and struggled out of that wheelchair. And so he managed it on his own and walked to me and never sat in a wheelchair again in his life.”I looked at the drawing on the kitchen wall, sketched by my grandfather. “You are my Joy. I love you with my life.” I murmured quietly. 注意：所续写短文的词数应为150左右。Grandmother looked me in the eyes and asked me to make a promise._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________A few years went by. Six months after grandmother's funeral____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
读后续写文本
the pet of the dancing world
snap out of
stay sane
show me you are still a man
sketch
funeral
extremely popular in the dancing world
get rid of something unpleasant / cheer up
keep calm
take the responsibility of marrying me / be brave enough
draw something simply and quickly
a religious ceremony for burying someone who has died
一、解决语篇关键词汇疑难信息点
问题类型 Questions Possible answers
topic
theme
impression
main plots
二、多维度解读文本
What’s the topic of the story
What’s the theme of the story
What impression does grandmother have on readers
What’s the main plot of the story
The writer discovered Grandma’s secret, and was asked to make a promise.
the true love
moving, warm, admirable
作者意外发现奶奶腿不瘸→奶奶告知秘密→答应保守秘密→奶奶去世→是继续保守秘密还是告知爷爷？
问题类型 Questions Possible answers
feeling
personali-ties
prediction
intention
How did the writer feel
What are the personalities of the main characters
What message does the text want to convey to the readers
deeply touched, admire Grandma, can’t believe the power of the love
curious(writer); selfless(grandparents)
本文到达想要向读者传递一个什么信息？预期达到一个什么效果？对作者或者爷爷有什么后续的影响？
二、多维度解读文本
Is grandfather alive when the writer discovered grandmother’s secret
Alive, otherwise it’s unnecessary for grandmother to continue to pretend to be crippled.
Para1: Grandmother looked me in the eyes and asked me to make a promise._______________________________________________
Question: what plots can we conceive according to the given sentence
①
②
③

....
What is the promise
How did the writer’s first reaction to the requirement
Will the writer agree to keep his promise Why
What happened later
三、依托首句建构故事情节
三、依托首句建构故事情节
Para2: A few years went by. Six months after grandmother's funeral_______________________________________________
Question: what plots can we conceive according to the given sentence
①
②
③

....
What happened six months after grandmother’s funeral
Will the writer still keep the promise If so, what will happen to grandfather
If not, how will grandfather react after knowing the truth
How could Paragraph2 be ended reasonably and creatively
四、“透析”语篇思维与语言
（1）理清故事基本线索、故事冲突点、故事情节走向和文章主题立意
时间：when grandmother was still alive;
地点：at grandparents’ home
人物：I, grandmother and grandfather
事件：a secret
故事高潮: 作者要保守秘密吗？能理解奶奶的初衷吗？
预测故事情节：根据absolutely shocked, sighed, out of curiosity, afraid of losing him,the only way , but all I could feel was the ache in my heart可推断，作者应该被奶奶伟大无私的爱深深感动了，为了奶奶能继续幸福，肯定答应保守秘密。但是奶奶去世后，作者还将把这么美丽的秘密继续坚守下去吗？
立意升华：爱的力量/对真爱的诠释
Deeper insight into further reading
What’s the secret
Why did Grandmother sigh when I discovered her secret
Why did Grandfather refuse to marry Grandmother
Why did Grandfather never sit in his wheelchair again when he knew Grandmother was crippled
（1）紧扣语篇思维与语言，预测故事情节
Paragraph1: Grandmother looked me in the eyes and asked me to make a promise.________________________________________________
情节1：奶奶让作者答应不要告诉任何人（包括爷爷）这个秘密。
情节2：作者不理解，觉得他们现在已经晚年了，知道真相应该没什么，而且这个谎言是甜蜜的。这样，奶奶既可以继续跳舞，爷爷也不用担心奶奶。（不合理，因为第二段就无法衔接了）
情节3：作者表示理解，并对奶奶更加敬佩了。（也可以写理解的原因，从文本里找续写点）
情节4：从此这个秘密成了作者和奶奶共同的秘密。因为知道了真相，作者也可以经常偷偷欣赏奶奶跳舞
四、“透析”语篇思维与语言
（1）紧扣语篇思维与语言，预测故事情节
Paragraph2: A few years went by. Six months after grandmother's funeral___________________________________________________
情节1：作者看到爷爷偷偷的看着奶奶的照片，暗自流泪。
情节2：作者犹豫再三，决定告诉爷爷这个秘密。①爷爷听后更难过了，但是一想到奶奶那么爱他，应该希望他更好的活着，于是振作起来，好好生活。②爷爷平静地说自己其实早就发现奶奶的秘密了，只是不想奶奶因为觉得欺骗了他而内疚，就一直装作不知道。
情节3：揭示主题：①True love is when you value your lover’s happiness more than yours, and make their happiness your first priority.②There is no distance too great between lovers, for love give wings to the lover’s hearts. ③ I finally understood that true love means that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. ...
四、“透析”语篇思维与语言
五、学生习作中不合理的思维与情节
1.第二段根本没有出现奶奶或者爷爷，直接说他结婚了，然后深爱妻子。2. 爷爷临终了，我熬不住告诉爷爷真相，爷爷听了很震惊，然后头一歪，就死了。（不合理）3. 作者提议帮奶奶录制一段视频，这样她死后，爷爷有视频看，可以回忆。试问，作者怎么就知道奶奶先于爷爷去世呢？直接就让一个老人直面死亡的现实，会不会有点太残忍？（不仁道）。作者可以尝试偷偷的录制。4. 无效、低效对话太多。比如，爷爷知道后问，“Why don’t you tell me earlier ”,作者回答，“I know you will leave grandmother when you know the truth, because a disabled person can’t match a perfect lady.”这不是歧视残疾人吗？人文精神体现在哪里？作者可以说，“I’m awfully sorry, but I promised to Grandma to keep the secret.”5. 第一段就写奶奶病重，然后去世了好几年了。与第二段段首不衔接。
六、再读，再思，找到“续写点”
续写点 伏笔语言 续写时可照应语言
首尾呼应
情感呼应
情节呼应
细节点睛
睹物思人
故事结尾
...
And I saw my crippled (跛腿的) grandmother was dancing.
在爷爷心目中奶奶永远是最美的舞者，即使是瘸的
the ache in my heart
奶奶在天之灵，肯定希望爷爷尽早 get rid of the ache in his heart，好好生活
I was so afraid of losing him
为了守住爷爷和奶奶的幸福，作者答应遵守承诺
“You are my Joy. I love you with my life.”
I wrapped him in my arms“You are my Joy. Grandpa, I love you with my life.”
the arrangement ring
Grandpa stoked the arrangement ring from Grandmother softly, as if ...
①“I have lost my leg. I give you back your freedom.It is best youforget about me..”
②I bought myself a cane and start pretending to be crippled.I told a reporter I had a car accident,and couldn't dance again.
爷爷奶奶彼此为了对方更幸福，都愿意舍弃自己的幸福---真爱的诠释。
七、对话需言简意赅、点到即止
读后续写中人物对话语言需地道，内容要简洁。对话点到即可，留白想象空间。对话的目的是凸显人物性格特征，助推故事情节的发展。要避免冗长、无效或者低效的对话。
how to say
why to say
sigh(叹息)，whisper（耳语），nod（点头），yell（吼叫），fume（气的冒烟），growl（低吼）,rant（咆哮），snort（发哼声），mumble（咕哝）, utter（吃力的说），murmur（低语、咕哝），sniff（嗤之以鼻），stammer（结巴的说）
complain / grumble / murmur（抱怨），apologize, beg, agree, reply, add（补充道）,declare, announce, command（命令），explain, comfort, continue
“I will,” I ________ with a determined expression.
“Why don’t you tell Grandpa the truth ” I _____ in a low voice. “You will understand it when you meet the one who you want to marry,”________ Grandma.
“Could you make it a secret between us ” she _______, “at least before my death.”
I hugged Grandpa tightly and ______ him, “You deserve Grandma’s love!”
“Actually, she is the most beautiful crippled dancer in my heart forever!” Grandpa stared at Grandma’s photo , stroked her face gently and then pressed it against his face softly, as if to ______ his eternal love to her to the world.
“You are my Joy. I love you with my life.” I ________quietly.
1. promised/nodded 2. asked ; explained 3. demanded / required; added/continued 4. comforted 5. announce 6. murmured
小试牛刀（根据故事发展补全对话，答案不唯一）
下水作文
Grandmother looked me in the eyes and asked me to make a promise. “Could you make it a secret between us ” she chuckled, “at least before the end of my life.” I looked up at Grandma in puzzle. “Why not tell Grandpa the truth ” I asked in a low voice. “You will understand it when you meet the one who you want to marry,”explained Grandma(维度七). I nodded my head thoughtfully, as if I GOT the meaning behind. Grandma stroked my head softly. The wrinkles on her face were like a folded letter, silently telling her selfless love to Grandpa. Whenever I visited my grandma, I had more opportunities to enjoy her graceful dancing, surely between her and me (首尾呼应).
A few years went by. Six months after grandmother's funeral, I accidentally found Grandpa sitting in Grandmother’s usual chair and wiping his secret tears. I walked up silently, wrapped him in my arms and told him the secret(续原文排比技巧). After hearing the whole story, I noticed his shoulders twitching violently and tears gushing out like a collapsed dam. “I had discovered it not long after your father was born! No dancer is more beautiful than your grandmother, even though she is CRIPPLED!(首尾呼应)” “You are my Joy. Grandpa, I love you with my life.(续细节)”I kneeled down and comforted him. I finally understood that there is no distance too great between lovers, for love gives wings to the lover’s hearts.
范文
Grandmother looked me in the eyes and asked me to make a promise. “I want you to promise me that you will tell no one.”grandmother said. “Why not ” I said, “You sacrifice your career for the love of your life.” “What I did was my own decision,I don't want others to talk about your grandfather or my fake accident” “But it's the most heart touching story I know,I still have tears in my eyes.” “Just make me the promise,at least not before the end of my days.”she said it with a demanding tone and sighed... “alright grandmother,I respect your decision,I promise you But,I have a little request for myself” I said it with a big smile across my face. “A request ”she asked. “Will you dance for me again Please ”I asked with begging eyes,and we both laughed.
A few years went by. Six months after grandmother's funeral, I made a decision to share her story with the world. But, It needed to be very formal and respectful. So, first I took a photo of the drawing on the kitchen wall, sketched by my grandfather; and showing both grandfather andgrandmother's cane under the drawing.The photo was for the cover page.Then I had a hard time choosing the topic between I love you with my life ‘and ‘Happiness’.And, ‘I went with Happiness’.Because, I believe this story makes others feel happy.Then,I had a formal sit down with my parents, I wanted their approval before I move forward, to show respect to the family. Finally, I have everything I need for the story, and I posted on my Facebook, twitter,and blog. I had tons of feed-backs; and the story is still spreading grandmother's love for grandfather, spreading happiness in the world.
杭二2022年4月 第二节 读后续写（满分25分）阅读下面短文, 根据所给情节进行续写, 使之构成一个完整的故事。My family moved in a small house in Brighton, Colorado on my seventh birthday. My first memory is our neighbor Bill, an old man, handing me strawberries from his garden through a hole in the chain-link（铁丝网）fence. "We need to make the hole bigger, "he said jokingly. Later I knew that he lived alone.Bill spent much time working in the garden, and I was always talking to him from our yard. I was a chatterbox. I think what drew me to Bill is that he never got tired of listening to me. I also think Bill saw a lot of himself in me—we were both lonely and anxious—and that may be why he always took the time to listen to me. It was a wonderful connection.There weren't any kids of my age in the neighborhood, and my parents were very busy, so I mostly played in the yard with my dog. I had a lot of imaginary friends—a whole family, actually, with a wife, children, a best friend no joke. Weird kid.One day, my parents asked Bill whether he'd watch me while they were away on business. This worked well for everyone, so it became a somewhat monthly occurrence. Bill had a spare room in his house, which became "my" room.Bill promised to teach me to drive the lawn tractor（割草机）someday and I was always looking forward to it. In winter, Bill would attach a snowplow（铲雪机）to the front of the lawn tractor. I seriously told him that I would invent a better snowplow when I grew up. "Sure you will. You'll get a patent certificate. It takes a certificate to prove an important thing, "Bill said with a smile.One snowy morning, an idea suddenly hit me. My parents were watching TV when I spit it out, "What if I adopted Bill as my grandpa " My parents said I could go over and ask him.注意∶1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;3. 续写部分为两段, 开头语已为你写好;4. 续写完成后, 请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1I knocked on his door, sat down in his living room, and asked, "Can I adopt you as my grandpa "____________________________________Paragraph 2The next morning, while learning to drive the lawn tractor with a snowplow, I accidentally plowed down our chain-link fence. __________________________________________________
同类作文训练：邻里关系
I knocked on his door, sat down in his living room, and asked, "Can I adopt you as my grandparents " Bill stood frozen for a little while before a broad smile came across his face. Then I saw tears in his eyes. He wrapped me in his arms and buried his face in my coat to hide his tears, his voice trembling, "Of course sweetheart! I'm so happy to be your grandpa!" Soon after, Bill printed out an adoption certificate and hung it on the wall of "my" room. Gazing at the snow outside, Bill said to me excitedly, "It's time to learn how to drive a lawn tractor. " The next morning, while learning to drive the lawn tractor with a snowplow, I accidentally plowed down our chain-link fence. I was almost frightened to tears, but Bill just chuckled in his laid-back way and comforted me, "Don't worry, Grandson. I have already planned to change a fence. "We eventually replaced it with a nice, tall wooden fence. My dad and Bill installed it together. What impressed me most was that there was a door on the fence, which definitely strengthened our connection. Underneath, I knew that we were a true family now.
范文
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