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(共27张PPT)
读后续写课件　
家庭亲情+惊讶篇
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
2021新高考1卷 A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
Read for who, when, where, what and problems
who(characters) when where what problems
making breakfast for mother
Jenna and Jeff (twins)，mother, father
at 6 a.m on Mother's Day
in the kitchen
the porridge boiled over, bread turned black, Jeff's hand got burned
the kitchen was in a mess
Read for theme
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day
How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
They had watched their mother in the kitchen.
The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well
gratitude to mother's hard work
Housework should be learned and mastered
climax
plot mountain
Read for plots and emotions
Tip 1 利用plot mountian， 根据原文主要人物梳理原文情节发展线和情感发展线
①the twins planned to make breakfast
excited
②the twins thought they knew how to make
confident
③The plan began well
④The bread got burnt
⑤The porridge boiled over
⑦the second bread turned black
⑥Jeff's hand got burned
fine
panicked
disappointed, upset, discouraged
ending
Read for language
注意观察动作细节描写
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
描写双胞胎做早餐的动作细节描写，极具画面感。
多处利用双连动词构成动作链：谓语动词A +and+ 谓语动词B
注意观察情感和场景细节描写
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
利用间接引语描写人物对话
简单直白
利用形容词、副词、动词表达人物情感
极具画面感的描写：有动作、声音（粥溢出的声音、Jeff手被烫疼的叫声、味道（糊了）
Read the given sentences 推测续写情节
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
父亲的出现使双胞胎面临的尴尬局面出现转机，他会做什么？
第一段重在解决问题
侧重描写动作、和双胞胎由失望转为高兴的情感变化
What would their father do
Would their father be willing to help them out
How did the twins feel
Result---who made the breakfast at last
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
Problems
—Solution
The kitchen was in a mess
the porriage boiled over
not good at cooking
the bread got burnt
clean up
make them again (father or the twins helped by their father)
began to learn under their father's guidance
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
What did the twins say
How did their mother react and feel
What did their father do and say
What did the twins do
What did the twins realize from
the experience
双胞胎向妈妈献上母亲节惊喜的时刻到了
第二段重在描写一家人的温情
侧重描写人物动作、神态和情感：惊喜、爱、温暖
适当添加人物简短的对话
罗列续写要点
续写第一段 plot emotions
父亲了解了情况 父亲建议双胞胎打扫厨房 父亲帮助做早餐或父亲指导双胞胎做好早餐 双胞胎的反应 双胞胎布置早餐托盘走出厨房
disappointed
cheered up
续写第二段 plot emotions
双胞胎祝母亲节日快乐 母亲看到早餐后很惊喜 母亲吃了早餐 母亲赞扬了双胞胎
surprised，
moved
joyful、
proud
捕捉和对应原文续写点
续写续写
捕捉续写点
A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
标题的照应：续写第二段添加细节描写妈妈见到早餐后的惊喜
特定物品的照应：French toast and chicken porridge
二段描写 孩子们将吐司和鸡肉粥端给妈妈
二段可描写妈妈看到早餐端到床前时很快乐，又为孩子能做早餐而为孩子们骄傲
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
特定物品的照应：rice, egg, milk, fire, bread
一段添加细节描写孩子们和父亲利用鸡蛋、牛奶等再次做早餐
与特定物品的衔接
与特定情节的衔接
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
一段添加细节描写父亲让双胞胎打扫厨房（解决厨房一团糟的问题）
二段添加细节描写妈妈看到Jeff的被烫伤的手指，心疼感动的情节
情感细节描写：高兴、激动、惊喜，吃惊、感动、骄傲
动作细节描写：添加人物肢体动作
适当的对话细节描写：父亲交代双胞胎打扫的话可
利用间接引语
场景细节描写：父亲和双胞胎在厨房忙碌的场景
母亲享受早餐的场景
添加细节描写
动作+语言细节描写
1.看到他们失望的表情，他建议他们把厨房打扫干净，而他帮他们给妈妈做早餐。
①He __________________________, and advised them to clean up the kitchen while he helped them make breakfast for Mother.
② __________________________, he advised them to clean up the kitchen while he helped them make breakfast for Mother.（非谓语动词做状语）
saw their disappointed faces
Seeing their disappointed faces
2.双胞胎准备好早餐托盘，加上一张他们做的漂亮的卡片，走出厨房。
The twins prepared the breakfast tray, added a beautiful card they had made, and __________________________. (三连动词构成动作链）
stepped out of the kitchen
神态情感细节描写
3.当他们的母亲看到眼前美味而完美的早餐时，她的脸上闪过一丝惊喜。
When their mother saw the delicious and perfect breakfast in front of her, ________________________________________________. (无灵主语句）
4.空气中弥漫着诱人的早餐香味，她的目光落到了早餐托盘上。
① An inviting smell of breakfast filled the air, and her eyes landed on the breakfast tray. （无灵主语句）
②_____________________________________________________, her eyes landed on the breakfast tray. (独立主格结构）
a spark of surprise flashed across her face
An inviting smell of breakfast filling the air
5.她惊喜极了，于是兴奋地摇醒正在假装睡觉的父亲。
①The surprise was so sweet that she excitedly shook Father, who was pretending to be asleep. （so...that...结果状语从句）
②__________________________________________________, who was pretending to be asleep. (倒装句）
6.他看到早餐时装出惊讶的样子。
He faked _______________ when he saw the breakfast.
So sweet was the surprise that she excitedly shook Father
astonishment
满分结尾句
活动场景
9.詹娜与她父亲目光相遇，他们偷偷地互相眨了眨眼。
Jenna caught her father’s eyes and they each other secretly.
10.得知事情经过后，她立刻站起来看了看男孩的手，感动的泪水滑下脸颊。“谢谢你，亲爱的!”妈妈说。
After learning about what happened, she rose quickly to gaze at the boy's hand with ." Thank you, my honey! “ said the mother.
winked at
moved tears rolling down her cheeks
与段首句衔接
照应首段给母亲准备breakfast in bed 的细节，衔接二段首句中的关键信息carried their breakfast
与特定细节的照应
照应原文首段双胞胎计划给妈妈做吐司和鸡肉粥的细节。细节的照应
照应原文厨房粥溢出，面包糊了，
厨房一团糟的细节细节的照应
与首段衔接
照应标题中的Mother's Day 细节的照应
与标题的衔接
与标题中surprise的照应衔接
与一段中细节breakfast tray的照应衔接
与一段细节的衔接
对父亲眼神、动作、情感的描写，突出一个成全了孩子们准备母亲节惊喜的计划，体现一家人之间的爱
2021年高考阅卷老师的4点提醒
1. 多描写，少说话。过多对话会显得文章零碎、啰嗦，并限制细节描写的空间。加了冒号引号让阅卷老师看着眼花缭乱，影响得分档次。
2. 不捏造人物。原文给了你哪几个人物，最好就用哪几个人物。
3. 高级词汇并非越多越好，句子也并非越复杂越好。
4. 根据生活常识或社会经验丰富续写的细节，不可闹出不合常理的笑话

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