资源简介 读后续写示例与写作训练10【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Change is defined as to give a different position, course, or direction to. Change is essential in life because you learn from change and it gives you a new route to take in life. Many people in life tend to not understand change but it’s the ones that do who are the successful ones.For years now I have no idea what I have been doing with my life. I wake up every morning ashamed of the person I am today, and fall asleep with the same mind set. I play everything in life by the book and never do anything out of the ordinary.I am a 30-year-old lawyer in New York. I spent most of my life in school perusing a job in Law. But being a lawyer was never my dream or goal in life.I honestly wanted to be a Writer. I have a great imagination and would write amazing stories in my head. I would write about slaying dragons and life far beyond what we can imagine today. I always knew that being a writer was never possible for me because it was a better financial decision to stay a lawyer.Recently, the days were abnormal for me. Usually I would fall asleep at ten and wake up at seven and drive to my office so I can get to work on time. But for some reason I couldn’t go to sleep, and when I did fall asleep I had the same dream over and over again. It wasn’t a dream I had ever had in the past. The dream starts with me in the ocean trying to go for a swim searching for something, but for some reason I start to drown and I can’t even gasp for air. I have no control over my body. Then a light shines through the bright waters and when I look up, all I can see is myself in a bright white room writing a novel. The I heard a voice say repeatedly “now is the time to try something new”.注意:1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2. 应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。Paragraph 1:That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier. _____________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life._________________________________________________________________【思维路径】[核心内容]文本主要内容为:一位30岁的女律师曾经为了在律师行业取得好的职位,花了大量的时间去学习法律;但是当她在律师行业干了数年之后,她发现虽然收入很高,但她并不喜欢这种严谨的、循规蹈矩的生活。于是,在她30岁的时候,她辞去这个工作,去追寻自己想当作家的梦想;后来的生活经历证明,她当年的抉择是正确的。[写作思路](1)明确故事主题(theme)。本文作者开篇就告诉我们“改变”(change)在生活中的重要性,如“Change is essential in life because you learn from change and it gives you a new route to take in life”这句话告诉我们“改变”能给我们的生活带来新的可能性。然后,作者通过自己的亲身经历进一步说明这一主题。(2)理清主人公的矛盾所在(conflicts)。从文章中的“I am a 30-year-old lawyer in New York. I spent most of my life in school perusing a job in Law. But being a lawyer was never my dream or goal in life.”可知,作者本来是在追求大多数人梦寐以求的律师职业,但后来发现自己并不是真正喜欢这一职业,而自己真正喜欢的是当作家。之后,根据文中的“The dream starts with me in the ocean trying to go for a swim searching for something, but for some reason I start to drown and I can’t even gasp for air. I have no control over my body”可知,作者内心中的这个矛盾愈发激烈。(3)根据已知事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展(development)。根据第二段的首句“For years now I have no idea what I have been doing with my life.”可知,作者对自己的当前的工作毫无真正意义上的好感。从第四段的首句“I honestly wanted to be a Writer”可知作者的真正梦想是想成为作家。根据第五段的开头部分“Recently, the days were abnormal for me. Usually I would fall asleep at ten and wake up at seven and drive to my office so I can get to work on time.”可知作者内心的矛盾越来越强烈。最后根据续写的第一段的开头“That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier”可知,作者最终选择了追求自己内心真正的梦想。(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。根据文中所给的划线词,如change, my life, my dream, being a writer, control等可知,作者在文章的后半部分可能会说明:(1)自己是否敢于做出“改变”;(2)如果“改变”了,那改变之后的结果怎样;(3)作者通过自己的经历,最后对“改变”究竟持怎样一种态度。(5)结合文章的手段决定文章的结束部分(endings)。根据续写的第一段的开头“That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier”可以罗列一些作者在“改变”自后自己的生活与心情的变化。根据续写的第二段的开头“My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life”可以在文章的结尾处说明作者对自己这些经历的看法与感受。[参考范文]That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier. Relieved from that job, I walked taller that day. When I got home I threw away my suits and nicely ironed pants and went out and got a pair of ripped jeans and a baggy shirt. I could not have been any more wrong. However, it wasn’t just a dream. My opportunity to make something good out of my life began. It was tough at first, but I just made myself under control.My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life. I can now enjoy the smaller things in life like watching the sunset or going for a walk in the park. I also have found the woman of my dreams and just can’t get enough of her. And by the way I started to write and have been on the best sellers list for the last 2 months. Things have definitely turned around. Yes, change is a good thing not just for me but for everyone, it gives us all an opportunity to take a chance. (156 words)[范文解析]范文围绕故事的情节和主要矛盾进行了合情合理的拓展。职业女律师的工作本身就非常艰辛,所以故事中的主人公想要摆脱这种过于正式的律师生活去追求自己的“作家梦”,是合情合理的。因此,范文的结尾部分特别强调“改变是一件好事”。[提炼归纳]1.熟读原文,把握主线。这是一篇夹叙夹议的文章。作者在文章的开头部分就在说明“改变”的重要性。由此我们可以推测出,作者接下来可能会通过一系列的经历与体验,展现这一主题。2.把握情节,合理拓展。作者通过“Change is essential in life--- For years now I have no idea what I have been doing with my life---But being a lawyer was never my dream or goal in life---I honestly wanted to be a Writer--- Recently, the days were abnormal for me--- That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier ---My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life---…”这一完整的情节叙述,告诉我们改变是生活中的必须,即与文章第一段中的“Change is essential in life because you learn from change and it gives you a new route to take in life.”相呼应,因此,在续写的时候,就需要把握这一情节变化,进行合理的拓展。3. 关注衔接,确保连贯。通过对作者写作的情节的把握,我们可以保证续写不会偏离文章的发展的方向。但是,我们必须使用有效的衔接手段,这样才能确保续写意义的连贯性。例如,范文中的when, however, and, since, but, yes等都是很好的衔接手段。【写作演练】1.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。The most delicious memories seem to happen during the holidays. And like a squirrel preparing for winter, I put them away to enjoy slowly during the long winter months. Sometimes, I enjoy them for years.Among them are sweetest recollections: my little girls at the church play and the moment they got their first angel wings; a pink dolly stroller(手推车) wheeled into the bedroom with a tiny voice declaring, ''Look what Santa Claus brought me! ''; or New Year's snowmen wearing bright scarves borrowed from a grandma's fragrant drawer.But there is one memory that is a little bittersweet -- sort of like 80% dark chocolate, but still good for you.This story brings to mind a colorful candy dish and a very little boy. The occasion was somewhere between Christmas and New Year's when a few candies in a dish remained behind, a bright spot in dull winter gray.Wrapped in December's chill, my then 3-year old grandson, Justin, and I had dashed from the warmth of my parked car into the building where I planned to take care of a few work-related tasks.A smiling secretary greeted us as we brushed the snowflakes and rubbed our hands to chase the cold. Then with my grandchild close to my side, I busied myself, finishing the items of business that had brought us there. But while his hand remained in mine, his eyes fell on the candy dish sitting nearby.As we turned to leave, the thoughtful and very observant woman behind the desk asked the question all children wait to hear.''Honey, '' the kindly woman said, peering over her glasses at Justin. ''Would you like a candy bar '' she asked, her hand pushing the dish close for an easier reach.The boy looked up questioningly, his eyes meeting mine, permission hanging in the air. A slight nod from me and then a hurried beeline to the candy dish followed. One candy bar was already in his hand.Para 1:''Justin! '' I said from the doorway.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para 2:In the humor of the moment, I felt something hard to swallow.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。It seemed I’d done everything I’d ever wanted to do in my life, but I had one regret. I was born in 1898, the oldest of five kids. Papa couldn’t spare me to go to school, so I worked in the fields with him till I was 21 years old.Everywhere I went, I learned some hard lessons about what happens to a man who even can’t read the alphabet. People cheat you out of wages. They sell you a ticket to one city, take your money and hand you a ticket to somewhere else.By 1928, I’d been wandering for nine years. I met a woman named Elzenia. We fell in love, married and moved to Dallas, where I got work fixing roads for the city. When Amelia, the oldest of our seven children, first went to school, I took my wife aside. “Elzenia,” I said. “I don’t want the kids to know I can’t read or write.”In 1938, one day my boss called me in. “George,” he said. “No one knows those machines like you do. I’d like to promote you.” But my thrill and surprise were cut short when he said, “Fill out this application and we’ll get you a raise.” I couldn’t admit the truth. I thanked him and walked out of his office. I did stay right where I was, until I turned 65 and my boss made me retire. But I didn’t stop working. For the next 25 years, I lived a happy life, but it still seemed to me like something was missing.A young fellow handed me a piece of paper. It’s information about adult education classes. People can learn to read and write. Now I’m 102. I thought of my friends and neighbours and what they might think if they found out I couldn’t read. After all these years, my secret would be out. But all my life I’ve wanted to read. It was high time for action.Paragraph 1:The young man drove me to a huge building and led me into a spacious classroom, which was crowded with elderly people like me.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:I’m still going to school.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。The Board Meeting had come to an end. Bob started to stand up and knocked into the table, spilling his coffee over his notes. ''How embarrassing! I am getting so clumsy(笨拙的) in my old age. ''Everyone had a good laugh, and soon we were all telling stories of our most embarrassing moments. It came around to Frank, who sat quietly listening to the others. Someone said, ''Come on, Frank. Tell us your most embarrassing moment. ''Frank laughed and began to tell us of his childhood. ''I grew up in San Pedro. My Dad was a fisherman. He had his own boat, but it was hard making a living on the sea. He worked hard and would stay out until he caught enough to feed a big family. Not just enough for our family, but also for his Mom and Dad and the other kids that were still at home. ''He looked at us and said, ''I wish you could have met my Dad. He was strong from pulling the nets and fighting the seas for his catch. When you got close to him, he smelled like the ocean. No matter how much my mother washed his clothes, they would still smell of the sea and of fish. ''Frank's voice dropped a bit. ''When the weather was bad, he would drive me to school. He had this old truck that he used in his fishing business. That truck was older than he was. Half the time, he would slam to a stop and the old truck would belch(喷出) a cloud of smoke. He would pull right up in front, and it seemed like everybody would be standing around and watching. Then he would lean over and give me a goodbye kiss on the cheek and tell me to be a good boy. It was so embarrassing for me. Here, I was twelve years old. I was a big boy and my Dad would lean over and kiss me goodbye! ''He paused and then went on, ''I remember the day I decided I was too old for a goodbye kiss. When we got to the school and came to a stop, he had his usual big smile. He started to lean toward me, but I put my hand up and said, 'No, Dad. ' ''……注意:1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;Paragraph 1:It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数为150左右。I was a mother of four children, working at a low-paid job. Money was always valuable, but we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes in the wardrobe. I always tell myself to be brave and strong. I hope all my efforts would be worthwhile, as long as my children can grow up healthily. It was Christmas time. We drove downtown to see the Christmas lights, and enjoyed a special dinner, but the big excitement for the kids was the fun of Christmas shopping at the mall. This was a tradition of my family, so they all looked forward to the coming of the season of goodwill. They talked and planned for weeks ahead of time, asking each other what they wanted for Christmas.The big day arrived and we started out early. I gave each of the four kids a twenty -dollar bill and asked them to search for gifts. Then everyone scattered(分散开)with the bill. I sat at a table in a café waiting for my children and enjoying an instant of silence. It must be a happy day.Back in the car driving home, everyone was excited about Christmas, laughing and asking each other about what they had bought. I noted Ginger, my younger daughter had only one small and flat bag with her. I could see enough through the plastic bag to tell that she had bought candy bars—fifty-cent candy bars! What did she do with that twenty-dollar bill I had given her I was so angry. After getting home, I called her into my bedroom and closed the door. I couldn't hold back my anger and shouted at her, "What about the rest of the money No one would be convinced all these candies are worth 20 dollars. What do you want to do with the rest of the money "Paragraph 1:She was shocked at my reaction and burst into tears. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:My anger disappeared.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________5.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。I peered over my grandma’s shoulder as she sewed pieces of cloth together. The two pieces became one faster than I’d imagined. The colors, however, looked ugly when put together and none of the patterns matched. All the patches (补丁) on this blanket seemed to disagree.“Grandma, that’s the ugliest quilt (棉被) I’ve ever seen.”“Oh, sweetie, it’s warm and beautiful,” said Grandma, pointing to a pile of crazy patterned shirts and suits. “I can take these old clothes that Grandpa and I will never wear again and turn them into something useful and good. It’s not the quilts appearance but the love that sews it together that makes it beautiful. This quilt will keep you warm on a cold night like tonight. And I know that for a fact.” Grandma put her hand on my shoulder, “Not everyone is as lucky as we are. Here, put on your coat. We’ll get a second opinion about how ugly my quilts are.”Grandma folded a finished quilt and tucked it into a shopping bag. Afterwards, we got in the car and drove downtown. The white snow turned grayer as we got to the city. Eventually, Grandma pulled up at a dark alley (胡同) and we got out of the car. The terrible smell of rotting garbage made me feel sick and pinch my nose shut. Grandma took my hand and led me to the street lamp. I could see the snow shimmering (发出微光) in the light.Grandma paused. “There’s usually somebody down this alley. It’s quiet and out of the wind--a good place to stay on cold nights. A nice warm quilt might make it even better.”The dark engulfed (吞没) Grandma and I as we stepped deep into the alley. The pavement was cracked and missing in spots. Chicken bones and stained boxes littered their way. And Grandma’s shoes made a loud sound with each step. Feeling frightened, I squeezed Grandma’s hand. Grandma squeezed my hand back. “Its OK.” she smiled.“Who’s there ” shouted a voice out of the darkness.Paragraph 1:“I have a nice warm quilt, if you want it,” said Grandma.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:Back home, I found a worn-out quilt by accident in a cupboard.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________答案与解析1.【参考范文】''Justin!'' I said from the doorway. By this time his pudgy hands had grabbed one -- and only one -- and he made his way back to me. My voice was somewhat serious as I realized manners had been forgotten. ''What do you say '' Hearing this, the little boy turned on his heel, promptly returning to the candy dish. ''Get Grandma one, too! '' I laughed. The secretary laughed. And even little Justin innocently giggled at the fun we were having.In the humor of the moment, I felt something hard to swallow. There was a truth that lingered long after the strawberry candy taste had disappeared. What example had I set for this little one while often in my care Was he learning more about ''getting'' and less about gratitude -- that heartfelt ''thank you'' In the years since, I've always loved to remember that moment. But one gift I hope we all leave with our children is the importance of a grateful heart. Really, what could be sweeter 【解析】这是一篇读后续写。文章主要讲述了作者和孙子的一次经历带给她苦中带乐的回忆。续写分为两段。第一段的开头是:“Justin!”我在走廊上说。这时他的手上抓着一颗糖,然后朝我走过来。我的声音有点严肃,我意识到自己当时失态了。“你说什么?”。听到这话,小男孩转过身去,立刻跑到糖果盘那里。“给奶奶也拿一颗。”我笑了。秘书也笑了。小Justin也咯咯的笑了。第二段的开头是:在这个幽默时刻,我觉得有些东西难以下咽。在草莓味糖果的味道消失之后,有一个想法始种萦绕在我心头。我给小家伙树立了什么榜样?他学到了更多关于得到,更少关于感激的东西吗(那种发自内心的感激)?从那以后,我一直记得那一刻。我总是希望让孩子学会真正的感恩。没有什么比这更好了。续写时应注意故事情节要符合逻辑,基础时态为一般过去时。【范文点评】范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中使用了一些高级表达,例如:Hearing this, the little boy turned on his heel, promptly returning to the candy dish.中使用了现在分词作状语;There was a truth that lingered long after the strawberry candy taste had disappeared.中that引导同位语从句;What example had I set for this little one while often in my care 中what引导主语从句。这些表达的使用不仅给文章增色添彩,也展示了作者扎实的语言功底。2.【参考范文】Paragraph 1:The young man drove me to a huge building and led me into a spacious classroom, which was crowded with elderly people like me. Through chatting, I learned that they had all been longing to read and write but never had the chance to go to school.As the bell rang, in came the teacher, a woman well past forty. After a warm and brief greeting, we started our lesson. First we learned to read the alphabet and though I made mistakes at times, no one laughed at me. Everyone helped each other with open-hearted enjoyment.Paragraph 2:I’m still going to school. Though faced with the most challenging event of my life, I’m full of courage and confidence. With the generous help of my teacher, friends and my children, I have made huge progress in study. Now I’m never shy about admitting the truth that once I was not able to read and write at all. Besides, I’m eager to encourage more elderly people to attend the adult education classes, because it’s never too late to learn.【解析】本篇书面表达属于读后续写。要求考生阅读所给内容后,根据所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知,作者小时候作为长子,没能去上学读书。后来作者工作,结婚,生子,他不愿让孩子们和别人知道他不识字。工作中有一次老板想要提拔他,让他填申请表,但作者无法说出他不会写字的真相。65岁后,作者退休了,他很快乐,但他总觉得错过了什么。一天,一个年轻人递给他一张有关成人教育课程的宣传单,现在作者102岁了,想到朋友们、邻居们可能会发现他的秘密。但作者一生都想要读书识字,他认为是时候行动了。续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:年轻人开车将我带到一个巨大的建筑前,领我进入一个宽敞的教室,里面有许多像我一样的老人。因此,接下来应该接着写:与他人交谈后,我了解到他们都是渴望读书写字但是没有机会上学。铃响之后,走进来一位老师,简单问好之后,开始了上课。首先我们学习读字母表,尽管我有时犯错,但没有人嘲笑我。每个人都坦诚地相互帮助。第二段开头是:我仍然在上学。因此,接下来应该接着写:尽管面临着我人生中最具有挑战性的事,我充满勇气与信心。在老师、朋友与孩子们的帮助下,我在学习上取得了巨大的进步。另外,我积极地鼓励老年人参加成人教育课,因为活到老,学到老。【范文点评】本文描写详略得当,情节生动,内容完整,符合题目要求。范文中使用的一些词汇和句型值得我们学习。高级词汇/短语,如:spacious、be crowded with、have the chance to do sth.、at times、faced with、With the generous help of、make huge progress等;高级句型:倒装句。As the bell rang, in came the teacher, a woman well past forty. 状语从句的省略。Though faced with the most challenging event of my life, I’m full of courage and confidence.3.【参考范文】Paragraph 1:It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face. I said, ''Dad, I'm too old for a goodbye kiss on the cheek. I'm too old for any kind of kiss. '' My Dad looked at me for the longest time, and his eyes started to tear up. ''You're right, '' he said. ''You are a big boy…a man. I won't kiss you anymore. ''Paragraph 2:Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes. And he spoke. ''It wasn't long after that when my Dad went to sea and never came back. It was a bad weather day when most of the fishermen stayed in, but not Dad. He had a big family to feed. The ocean has swallowed him up.''【解析】这是一篇读后续写。文章讲述了一个故事。董事会结束时Bob不小心打翻了咖啡,他觉得很尴尬。后来,大家都开始讲述自己记忆中最尴尬的场景。续写分为两部分。第一部分的开头是:那是我第一次用那样的方式和他讲话,他脸上出现了惊讶的表情……所以可以接着写:我说:“爸爸,我已经足够大,不要在我脸颊上吻别了!那已经不适合我了。”父亲看着我,眼睛里涌出了泪水。他说:“你是对的。你现在已经是个大男孩了,不,你已经是个男子汉了,我以后不会在亲吻你了。”第二段的开头是:弗兰克脸上出现了一个滑稽的表情,然后泪水模糊了他的双眼……所以可以接着写:他接着说:“在那之后不久,我爸爸去出海就再也没有回来过了。那天的天气不好,所有的渔人都待在家,除了我的父亲,因为他有一大家要养。海洋吞没了他。”续写是要注意所写内容要符合故事逻辑,基础时态是一般过去时,但直接引语要根据具体情况来判断。【范文点评】范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中使用了一些主从复合句,例如:It was a bad weather day when most of the fishermen stayed in, but not Dad.中when引导定语从句。4.【参考范文】Paragraph 1:She was shocked at my reaction and burst into tears. She explained to me what had happened. “I was looking around, wondering what to buy, when I found the ‘Giving Trees’ with many lovely little cards on it. Out of curiosity,I stopped and read one of them. It was for a four-year-old girl. All she wanted for Christmas was a doll. Although I had only 15 dollars left, I thought of the poor girl. I had bought sweets for my Christmas. Mom, we had so much but she didn't have anything. So I took the card off the tree and bought the doll for her. ”Paragraph 2:My anger disappeared. I smiled at them and felt a great relief. I never felt so rich as I did that day. My efforts paid off . Yes, we were living a poor life. However,my children had learned to care about others. They had known the significance of kindness and giving. That was what I had for my Christmas.【解析】本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知,作者是四个孩子的母亲,生活拮据。但作者觉得只要孩子能健康成长,她的一切努力都是值得的。圣诞节到了,作者给了四个孩子每人一张20美元的钞票,让他们去买喜欢的礼物。回来时,作者发现小女儿Ginger用20美元只买了50美分的棒棒糖。作者很生气,质问她拿剩下的钱都做了什么。续写部分分为两段:第1段开头是:她被我的反应震惊了,哭了起来。接下来应该写Ginger向作者解释发生的事情。Ginger在买圣诞礼物时看到了“赠予树”,上面有很多小卡片。她阅读了其中的一张,是来自一个4岁的小女孩的。她想要一个洋娃娃作为圣诞礼物。于是Ginger从树上摘下卡片,给那个小女孩买了一个洋娃娃。第2段开头是:我的怒气没有了。下面应该写作者的感受。作者感到非常欣慰,觉得自己从来没有像那天那样富有。虽然他们一家过着贫困的生活,但是孩子们学会了关爱别人,知道善良和给予的意义。续写前需要仔细阅读文章,熟悉文章故事的发展,然后根据故事发展脉络,展开合理的想象,按要求完成任务。【范文点评】本文描写详略得当,重点突出,同时表达时也使用了很多高级词汇,如explain… to sb.;look around;out of curiosity;think of;buy sth. for sb.;smile at;feel a great relief;pay off;live a poor life;care about;the significance of;kindness等;还运用了复杂的句式,如“be doing… when”句型的运用I was looking around…when I found the ‘Giving Trees’; although引导的让步状语从句的运用 Although I had only 15 dollars left, I thought of the poor girl;what引导的表语从句的运用That was what I had for my Christmas等。5.【参考范文】Para 1:“I have a nice warm quilt, if you want it,” said Grandma. After a while, a beam of light appeared and a lady walked out of the darkness. Grandma opened the shopping bag and pulled out the multicolored quilt. “That’s pretty and it looks warm,” the lady exclaimed and took the quilt, her eyes filled with tears of gratitude. As we walked back down the alley, I looked over my shoulder and saw the lady holding the quilt tightly to her face. “You’re right, Grandma. That is a beautiful quilt.” On our ride back home, the lady’s grateful words were still ringing in my ears.Para 2:Back home, I found a worn-out quilt by accident in a cupboard. I asked Grandma curiously, Grandma, why is there a quilt here After a moment of silence, Grandma began to share her own story. On a freezing night decades ago, as a poor young woman sleeping in the same alley, Grandma was offered a quilt, which warmed her up. She was determined to pass the love forward. That’s why Grandma sewed the old clothes together and made quilts for those in need. After hearing the story, I gave Grandma the biggest hug ever. I thought of all the clothes I didn’t want to wear anymore and knew what Grandma and I would do the next morning.【解析】本篇书面表达属于读后续写,要求考生续写两段内容使之与已给出的材料构成一篇完整的短文。本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知,作者看到奶奶缝制了一条带有各种补丁的被子,认为这条被子非常的丑陋。但是,奶奶却说被子的美不在于它的外表,而在于这条被子是用爱缝制的。之后,奶奶和作者一起来到城里破旧而又寒冷的街道。作者很害怕,这时,从胡同里传来了声音。续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:奶奶说:我有一条暖和的被子,如果你想要的话。所以接下来应该写刚才说话的人从胡同里走出来,奶奶把被子送给这个人。这个人收下被子,并且非常感激,之后,作者和奶奶上车离开。此处,也可以描写一下作者在现场的感受。第二段开头是:回到家里,我碰巧在壁橱里发现了一条破旧的被子……本段应该写作者向奶奶询问这条被子的来历。奶奶向作者讲述这条被子的故事,以及缝制被子送给他人的原因。作者从中学到了很多道理,并且决心向奶奶学习做些慈善的事情。续写时我们要按照已给出的材料中的关键词来写两段内容。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为150左右。按要求完成写作任务。【范文点评】本文描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如:a beam of light, pull out,ring in my ears,by accident,be determined to,等高级词汇;“That’s pretty and it looks warm,” the lady exclaimed and took the quilt, her eyes filled with tears of gratitude.一句中的her eyes filled with tears of gratitude.为独立主格结构;As we walked back down the alley, I looked over my shoulder and saw the lady holding the quilt tightly to her face.一句中使用了as引导的时间状语从句,以及感官动词的复合结构;as a poor young woman sleeping in the same alley, Grandma was offered a quilt, which warmed her up.一句使用了which引导的非限制性定语从句。That’s why Grandma sewed the old clothes together and made quilts for those in need. 一句使用了why引导的表语从句;I thought of all the clothes I didn’t want to wear anymore and knew what Grandma and I would do the next morning.一句使用了what引导的宾语从句。 展开更多...... 收起↑ 资源预览