资源简介

(共22张PPT)
情人节的意外
金华十校续写
《
》
I looked around at the other patients waiting to see the doctor. Maybe they all had more romantic plans for the evening on this Valentine's Day but for now the group seemed anti-social. Three people had their heads down, staring at cell phones. Another was absorbed in a magazine. The receptionist tapped at her computer. Everyone was in their own little world.
But I couldn’t judge them for it. I would probably be buried in my cell phone too-if I hadn’t forgotten to charge it before I left home. It would have been nice to strike up a conversation to pass the time on this day, a day of love and friendship. Instead , I sat patiently in my plastic chair as a couple of new people took distant seats.
“Roberta The doctor’s ready for you ,“ the nurse called. At least I'll have some kind of human connection, I thought.
My checkup went well, and I breezed out of the office to my little Honda in a space right out front. I got in and turned the key. Nothing. Oh, no. Not again. I'd sent the car to the garage several times already for this very problem and thought it had finally been fixed.
I reached for my cell phone to call AAA - then remembered. It was dead, like my car. I would have to use the phone inside. A few people glanced up when I came back into the waiting room, then quickly went back to what they were doing. I went straight to the reception desk, but the receptionist was not there. So I turned back to the people in the waiting room.
“I wouldn't normally do this ,” I said to the group, hoping that I sounded apologetic. Several people turned toward me to listen . “But my car won't start…"
The nurse popped her head into the room. “You in trouble, Roberta " she said. “I’ll go and take a look .” I followed the nurse outside. As I passed through the door, I felt someone was behind me.
Para 1:I turned to see all the other patients following me.
Para 2:I said a quick prayer and turned the key.
who
when
where
what
Main idea
1.I:Roberta
2.Other patients
3.the nurse
Valentine’s Day, a day of love and friendship
Outside the doctor’s office
My car as well as my phone was dead, after my checkup. I need help.
1.主题语境：人与社会
2.主题：社会服务与人际沟通-良好的人际关系与社会交往
3.主题意义：在遇到紧急情况，即使看似形同陌路的陌生人也会伸手相助，体现互帮互助，人间关爱！
4.话题：日常生活、社会互助。
I looked around at the other patients waiting to see the doctor. Maybe they all had more romantic plans for the evening on this Valentine's Day but for now the group seemed anti-social. Three people had their heads down, staring at cell phones. Another was absorbed in a magazine. The receptionist tapped at her computer. Everyone was in their own little world.
But I couldn’t judge them for it. I would probably be buried in my cell phone too-if I hadn’t forgotten to charge it before I left home. It would have been nice to strike up a conversation to pass the time on this day, a day of love and friendship. Instead , I sat patiently in my plastic chair as a couple of new people took distant seats.
“Roberta The doctor’s ready for you ,“ the nurse called. At least I'll have some kind of human connection, I thought.
My checkup went well, and I breezed out of the office to my little Honda in a space right out front. I got in and turned the key. Nothing. Oh, no. Not again. I'd sent the car to the garage several times already for this very problem and thought it had finally been fixed.
I reached for my cell phone to call AAA - then remembered. It was dead, like my car. I would have to use the phone inside. A few people glanced up when I came back into the waiting room, then quickly went back to what they were doing. I went straight to the reception desk, but the receptionist was not there. So I turned back to the people in the waiting room.
“I wouldn't normally do this ,” I said to the group, hoping that I sounded apologetic. Several people turned toward me to listen . “But my car won't start…"
The nurse popped her head into the room. “You in trouble, Roberta " she said. “I’ll go and take a look .” I followed the nurse outside. As I passed through the door, I felt someone was behind me.
Para 1:I turned to see all the other patients following me.
Para 2:I said a quick prayer and turned the key.
What is the problem to be solved in the story
Read for conflict
What is the problem to be solved in the story
1. My car was dead, like my phone
2. I had to use the phone inside, but the receptionist was not there.
3. I had to turn back to the people for help.
1.Everyone was in their own little world, lacking in connection with each other.
2.It was Valentine's Day, a day of love and friendship
Will they respond to my request and offer help
VS
Para 1:I turned to see all the other patients following me.
衔接句1：Why do they follow me
情节推进（心理）：How do I feel
情节推进（动作）：How will the nurse and other patients cooperate with each other to help my car start
衔接句2：How to check the result
Para 2:I said a quick prayer and turned the key.
衔接句3：What is the result
情节推进（心理\动作）：What is people’s response to the result
结尾：What is my reflection on the incident
主题升华：How to echo with the former part
主题升华：What is the theme of the story
THREE
优秀学生作文
及下水作文
伏笔：I couldn't judge them by it.
照应伏笔Actually they were warm and kind.
照应伏笔：They tried to get my car started.
照应伏笔：Their help really saved my day
伏笔：a day of love and friendship
照应伏笔：Theme
范文：
I turned to see all the other patients following me. A bit puzzled, （心理）I went to my car and slid into the driver’s seat. One of them called “Pop your hood！” So I pressed the button. Several others bent forward, most probably leaning in to check the engine. （动作描写，查看问题）“The screw is loose,” one assured me, “Trust me. I used to be a mechanic”. Having fetched the tool from his car, he began to twist it. It was not long before he straightened up to rest, rubbing his back. Unexpectedly, the other patients just volunteered to take his turn despite their own health condition.（互相合作，修车过程） When the “mechanic” gave a thumbs-up, everyone called out together, “Try it now!”
I said a quick prayer and turned the key. The engine turned over immediately.（结果成功） A cheer went up（心理）. Several hands shut the hood. “Don’t make any stops on the way home,” the “mechanic” said. “Keep the car running till the battery gets a good charge.” I backed my car out of the space, then paused to wave at the crowd of people who’d saved the day. My Honda never stalled again. It turns out that my waiting room team had done a better job than my garage ever did.（对比的方式突出“mechanic”的专业性与友善） I guess that’s just what happens when people come together. And there’s no better valentine than that. （主题升华）
下水作文：
I turned to see all the other patients following me. “I‘ll come with you, if you don’t mind,” one of them said with a smile.（衔接首句，回答Why do they follow me ） I was touched by their kindness and nodded in gratitude.（心理描写，回答How do I feel ） Together, we all went out to the car. The nurse inserted and twisted the key while the others took a look under the hood. As it turned out, the problem was simply a dead battery. Before I knew it, One warm-hearted patient had pulled his own vehicle up next to mine and gave me a jump start. Several other patients joined us, curious to see how it was going on and eager to help.（动作描写，回答How will the nurse and other patients cooperate with each other to help my car start ） After the joint and intense effort, it seemed that we made it. I slid into the car immediately.
I said a quick prayer and turned the key. My car was running again, and I let out a sigh of relief. (衔接首句，回答What is the result )“Thank you so much,” I said to all of them. “I don‘t know what I would have done without your help.” （虚拟语气，语言协同）The nurse shrugged as if it was no big deal. “That’s what friends are for, right ” （表达感谢，回答What is people’s response to the result ）I smiled, realizing that I had made new friends on this Valentine‘s Day. Even though I had started the day feeling lonely and disconnected, I had ended it feeling grateful for the unexpected connections that had come my way.（与前文呼应，回答What is my reflection on the incident ） As I drove home, I couldn’t help but think that love and friendship weren‘t just reserved for romantic partners. They could be found in the kindness of strangers, the unexpected support of acquaintances, and the simple act of reaching out to those around us.（主题升华，回答What is the theme of the story ） And on this Valentine’s Day, that was something worth celebrating.（回扣故事背景）
Chat GPT 作品：
I turned to see all the other patients following me. The nurse walked ahead, leading us to my car. I felt a knot in my stomach, embarrassed to have so many people watching me as I tried to start my car. What if it didn't start at all What if it made a loud noise and everyone laughed I felt their curious eyes on me as I reached for my keys, feeling the weight of their expectation. The nurse bent down to take a look under the hood, and I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I inserted the key into the ignition.
I said a quick prayer and turned the key. The engine roared to life, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. The nurse gave me a thumbs up and walked back inside, leaving me alone with the car and the other patients still watching. I backed out of the parking space slowly, feeling their eyes on me as I drove away. But as I turned onto the street, I realized that their stares didn't matter. I had conquered my fear and fixed my car, and that was all that mattered.
小情节构建及
可读性细节描写
与车相关的语言
Pop your hood 打开你的引擎盖
pressed the button 按下按钮
check the engine检查引擎
The screw is loose螺钉松了
fetched the tool and began to twist it拿来工具开始拧它
The engine turned over引擎转动了
the battery gets a good charge. 电池得到了良好的充电
My Honda never stalled again我的本田从此再也没有熄火过
gave me a jump start 帮我接上电启动车子(借电启动)
2. 候诊室氛围描写
1.Three people had their heads down, staring at cell phones. Another was absorbed in a magazine. The receptionist tapped at her computer. Everyone was in their own little world. 三个人垂着头盯着手机。另外一个人在沉浸阅读杂志。前台接待员在敲打她的电脑。每个人都在自己的小世界里。
2. A few people glanced up when I came back into the waiting room, then quickly went back to what they were doing. 我重新进入候诊室时有几个人瞥了一眼，然后很快又回到了自己的事情上。
3. 虚拟语气、非谓语与对比修辞
I would probably be buried in my cell phone too-if I hadn’t forgotten to charge it before I left home. It would have been nice to strike up a conversation to pass the time on this day. 如果我没忘记在离家前给手机充电，我也可能会沉浸于其中。在这个日子里，和人聊聊天以消磨时间会很不错。
Having fetched the tool from his car, he began to twist it. 他从车里取出工具，开始转动。
It was dead, like my car. 就像我的汽车一样，手机也不工作了。
4. 动作
I breezed out of the office to my little Honda. 我轻松地走出办公室到我的小本田车旁。
The nurse popped her head into the room. 护士把头探进房间。
Several others bent forward, most probably leaning in to check the engine. 3. 几个人向前弯腰，很可能是为了检查引擎。
It was not long before he straightened up to rest, rubbing his back. 他不久后挺直身子放松了一下，揉着背部
A cheer went up. 欢呼声响起。
5. 心理
A bit puzzled, I went to my car and slid into the driver’s seat. 感到有点困惑，我走向我的车，钻进驾驶座。
FOUR
相似“救助”类
续写考题对比
I am a frequent interstate traveler. I was born in Ontario, Canada and thus all my family except my husband and children live there. So three times a year I make a trip north from Georgia to visit. I often travel by myself as my children are all grown and my husband is working.
Two years ago I went up in the spring and brought one of my sisters south for a month to take away the pains of a long winter. This year I did the same. It is interesting that many of my friends have said "Aren't you scared " or "What if you break down ”. I always respond that I have a lot of faith in the Lord and in myself. My husband is a mechanic and each year gives my 230,000+ miles car a good checkup. He will come for me if I need help.
Here is how my miracle happened on Interstate 85 North in South Carolina. Heading north to take my sweet sister of 63 home to Canada, we were chatting away and I was driving 70 miles per hour in the third lane over. Yes, the fastest lane. All of a sudden, I started to lose power. I said anxiously I was losing power and got over to the next and then the right lane, I was driving at about 40 miles per hour when I got to the first exit. I finally arrived at a Citgo station and pulled off the road.
I immediately called my husband and he didn't answer. I was thinking he never answered his phone. I called 2 more times saying please answer the phone to myself. I was getting pretty upset thinking what I should do. I got out of the car and looked under it and smelled gas. Then* I checked the oil and water. Luckily, both were good! My sister went into the gas station and said to the clerk if he knew anyone who could help us and then said pray for us as she made her way to the rest room.
I was standing by my car when a man with broken English suddenly appeared.
I thanked my rescuer and asked him if I could pay him for his help.
参考范文：
I was standing by my car when a man with broken English suddenly appeared. He said if he could he would help me. I said I thought there was a gas leak because I smelled it. He got under the car, and 2 minutes later, he slid out and said it was all fixed. He asked me to start it up and see if it worked well. Actually, at first, I was a little skeptical. But I did as he said. To my delight and relief, my car did indeed roar to life and had power.
I thanked my rescuer and asked him if I could pay him for his help. He shook his head instantly and politely refused my offer. I thanked the nice man again and gave him a big hug. My heart was full and said he was a blessing in my life. His face lit up and had a beautiful smile. My sister and I were both teary eyed and extremely grateful. There are so many stories of rudeness and unkindness to others but I have been blessed many times by kind and helpful people.
2021八省联考
During this past year, I've had three instances of car trouble.Each time these things happened, I was sick of the way most people hadn't bothered to help. One of those times, I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my big Jeep. I put signs in the windows, big signs that said NEED A JACK (千斤顶),and offered money. Nothing. Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.
He sized up the situation and called for his daughter, who spoke English. He conveyed through her that he had a jack but that it was too small for the Jeep. so we would need something to support it. Then he got a saw (锯子) from the truck and cut a section out of a big log on the side of the road. We rolled it over and put his jack on top, and we were in business.
I started taking the wheel off, and then,if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. No worries: He handed it to his wife, and she was gone in a flash down the road to buy a new tire iron. She was back in 15 minutes.We finished the job,and I was a very happy man.
The two of us were dirty and sweaty. His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash our hands. I tried to put a $20 bill in the man's hand, but he wouldn't take it,so instead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I asked the little girl where they lived. Mexico, she said. They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then they would go home.
When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch.
After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
参考范文：
When I was about to say goodbye,the girl asked if I'd had lunch. Shaking my head with my hands stretching in the air, I had no mood to eat anything before my car was repaired. With smile she led me into their car, treating me to a variety of foods. I thanked them a million with. I was so hungry as if a hungry tiger were swallowing an elephant. I bet it was the most delicious food that I had had. Watching my wolfing them down, the family grinned from ear to ear, so did I. We chatted freely as if we were friends for many years. After exchanging telephone numbers, expanding my thanks again, I got off the car, when the girl passed a paper bag to me.
After they left,I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag. At the sight of the money filled me with surprise. It was the money that I handed to her mother. Inside was also a note, reading.“Dear friend, may you have a good trip! Please pass it to those in need."In a flash, with tears welling up in my eyes, I was touched beyond words. I felt so warm as if there were nine suns in my chest.
I made up my mind to pass on “love” to others. Just as a saying goes:"Gifts of roses, hand there are lingering fragrance.”
陌生人“救助”类考题的备考启示
陌生人“救助类”的读后续写，属于人与社会主题语境，体现人们之间互帮互助，人间关爱，主要考察考生的写作能力以及情感表达能力。在备考过程中，考生需要注重以下几个方面：
1. 多读经典故事。积累写作素材，提高情感表达能力和语言表达能力。
2. 增强词汇积累。选择准确的“救助类”词语，可以让文章更加生动有力，表达更准确。
3. 训练思维敏捷。读后续写要求考生快速思考，准确捕捉文章的情感和主题，训练思维敏捷可以提高写作的速度和准确度。
4. 多练习写作。多练习同类型写作，可以提高写作水平，同时也可以使得考生更加熟悉文本解读与情节推进。
Thank You

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