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(共19张PPT)
山东高考英语读后续写
阅卷心得感受
评分时，应从内容、词汇语法和篇章结构三方面考虑：
（1）创造内容的质量，续写的完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度
（2）使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性
（3）上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性
根据内容情节确定档次—根据语言、篇章结构档次内浮动或根据具体情况适当调整档次；
其他注意事项：
词数少于120，酌情扣分
单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，视其对交际的影响程度考虑。
1.0分和1分怎么区别？
空白卷0分，全文照搬原文0分，与题干毫无关系0分，但哪怕只有一句 I read it every day/They are happy，只要是与原文有关，即便句子是错误的，也能得1分；
如果是词汇的罗列，连不成句，就是1-5分档，再根据内容和词数具体定分。
2.及格线是15分吗？
没有及格线定位，不用纠结于15/16分的定夺。
专家解读及典型问题
原文（310 词）
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother's Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. the pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
注意：
1. 答题词数应为 150 左右；
2. 请按如下各式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
文章出处：
https://www./other/mothers-day-celebration-with-twin-child-an-open-speech.html
As the twins looked around them in dismay, their father appeared in the doorway. One look and he knew what they were up to. Seeing their crestfallen（垂头丧气的） faces, he told them to clean up the kitchen while he helped them make breakfast for Mother. The twins cheered up and did as told. Within an hour, the kitchen was cleaned, and Father had made some egg sandwiches and cooked some oat porridge. Then he sneaked back to bed. The twins prepared the breakfast tray, adding a card they had made, and then carried the tray upstairs to their parents’ bedroom.
The twins woke their mother up by hugging her and yelling ‘Happy Mother’s Day, darling Mummy!’ Mother hugged the twins. Her eyes widened at the sight of the breakfast tray. She shook Father who was pretending to snore. He feigned（假装） astonishment when he saw the breakfast. Mother bit into a sandwich and said it was the best she had ever tasted. Jeff immediately wanted to have a bite. Jenna caught her father’s eye and they winked at each other secretly.
原文
1. 原文较简单，情节导向比较明确，但学生作文细节有问题。
一对双胞胎计划给母亲做早餐来作为母亲节的惊喜；但后面出现一系列的事故，计划貌似要失败了。
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
父亲了解情况 发火？
父亲帮助做早餐 ？
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
叫醒妈妈后，双胞胎祝母亲节日快乐 地点？
母亲非常惊喜 主题如何升华？
原文（310 词）
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother's Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. the pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Love
Harmonious Family
How can we write an impressive ending
精彩结尾方式
1.Inclusio (首尾呼应)
2.Theme sublimation (主题升华)
3.Picture Frame (画面定格)
4.Blank Leaving (结尾留白)
5.Ending with dialogue or monologue(对话)
2.续写情节包容性强，但学生作文情节的丰富性不够强。
情节丰富性的影响因素：
篇幅 至少120词，但150词左右的明显内容会丰富些
段落分配 一二段篇幅差距
对话 大量对话代替情节
结尾 有头无尾
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
父亲了解情况
父亲帮助做早餐
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
叫醒妈妈后，双胞胎祝母亲节日快乐
母亲非常惊喜
1.父亲面对厨房惨状的反应
2.孩子们面对父亲到来的反应
3.父亲帮助做早餐的小插曲
4.做完早餐后三人的庆祝或做计划如何给母亲更大的惊喜
1.孩子们如何叫醒母亲
2.母亲注意到Jeff的手受伤，心疼
3.父亲嫉妒妈妈，孩子们答应在父亲节会给父亲惊喜
4.结尾的设计
如何让你的对话不平庸
A: “Give me the money.” Katherine said.
B: “Give me the money.” Katherine warned, staring at the money on the table.
策略：
1.谁说的
2.怎么说的（动词、副词、短语选择）
3.说的同时正在做什么
Emotions&Functions Relevant verbs
Anger shouted,yelled,roared,snapped(厉声说),warned
Affection comforted,consoled(抚慰),soothed(抚慰)
Excitement screamed,cheered,laughed,gushed(夸张地说),exclaimed(惊叫，呼喊)
Determination declared,insisted,maintained(固执己见),commanded
Sadness cried,sobbed（抽泣）,sighed（叹息）
Conflict sneered(嘲笑),hissed(不满道),scolded,demanded,threatened
Amusement teased(戏弄),joked,chuckled(咯咯笑),giggled(咯咯笑)
Storytelling continued,emphasized,recalled,concluded
3.学生对语言基础知识的掌握不牢固，相当一部分考生语言表达能力低，功底差。
(1)单词拼写错误太多。总共要求写150词左右，有的考生单词拼写错误就有十几处，尤其对于那些经常出现的词语，例如：hug写成huge，taught写成teached， mother写成monther，像这种情况，极大的影响了考生考卷的定档。
(2)动词用法错误多，时态、语态用法混乱，主谓不一致。部分学生毫无主谓一致，时态，语态变化的观念，通篇时态混乱。
(3)词性混乱。以汉语为英语句式模板，不管词性，进行汉语式表达。
4.续写语言平淡，五大描写不到位。
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
1.父亲面对厨房惨状的反应 环境、动作、心理描写
2.孩子们面对父亲到来的反应 动作、心理、对话描写
3.父亲帮助做早餐的小插曲 动作、细节描写
4.做完早餐后三人的庆祝或做计划如何给母亲更大的惊喜 动作、心理描写
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
1.孩子们如何叫醒母亲 环境、动作、心理描写
2.母亲注意到Jeff的手受伤，心疼 动作、心理、对话描写
3.父亲嫉妒妈妈，孩子们答应在父亲节会给父亲惊喜 动作、对话描写
4.结尾的设计 环境、动作、心理、对话描写
总结优秀作文特点必备条件
1. 内容上新颖，情节丰富，尽可能展开
2. 表达不要有明显、低级错误，不刻意追求长句子，句式多样化
并且运用准确（用就用准确）；词汇高级但不生僻，中式英语要避免
表达好了可以加分，错了要减分，不会因为看到几个高级词汇原谅低级错误
3. 语篇衔接：
句间衔接—运用衔接词；段间衔接，第一段最后铺垫
前后呼应，与原文融洽度高（结尾可以采用首尾呼应的技巧）
主题升华—人与自我、人与社会、人与自然
4.卷面整洁，字体漂亮（划就大方划掉，不要让老师猜，忌括号括起来）
高三备考建议
1. 发挥学生的想象力，经常进行思路训练—注意展开，尽量丰富
2. 规律性进行写作练习，两周一次读后续写
3. 词汇积累，特别是常用词掌握扎实，进行专练，尤其是动词过去式过去分词，形容词比较级最高级，时态，词性转换等
4. 常用句式、续写五大描写整合，让学生背诵并运用
5. 篇章衔接—意识；
6. 优生练字
7. 学生互评作文，学会自己修改作文
预祝高考再创辉煌！

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