资源简介

(共28张PPT)
Lengthening and Polishing sentences
promotion of language charm
英语写作专题之
扩句和润句
Lengthening
扩句
要求：在学习扩句前，学生应先掌握句子结构成分和词性的相关知识，以及五个简单句句型，并列句和复合句。
扩句是在简单句的基础上，添加各种修饰成分，使句子得到扩展，即增加定语，状语，同位语等成分，或者举例子补充细节内容，或者添加谚语俗语等。
实施途径：主要针对句中的名词和代词增加定语，针对句中的动词增加状语
一 找名词
名词是写作中出现频率最高的词。为了让作文更加丰满，我们应该首先让名词丰满起来。
可以通过各种形式的定语词汇和结构以及同位语从句，定语从句来实现
对物的修饰：颜色、形状、位置、作用、所属关系等；
对人的修饰：职业、年龄、高矮胖瘦、性格等。
LuHan is a singer.( lovely/ dance well)
LuHan is a lovely singer____________________
LuHan is a _______ singer .
lovely
who can dance well.
I like to make friends with my classmates (添加定语从句)
who have the same interest as mine.
I like reading interesting books that are about history
增加形容词
定语从句
二 找动词
针对动词增加副词及副词性结构[如介宾短语]或其他形式的状语以及从句
I like playing sports with my friends at 8:00
at school,because it is good for my health.
增加时间和方式
增加地点
增加原因
I like reading interesting books that are about history in the morning at school, because reading can make us grow up happily and make me clever.
如出现形容词或副词，要考虑比较级或最高级的使用。
如：I like reading interesting books that are about history in the morning at school, because reading can make us grow up more and more happily and make me cleverer and cleverer.
I like reading interesting books that are about history
in the morning at school, because reading can make us grow up and make me clever.
增加时间
增加地点
增加原因
原因
We arrived in Sanya , happily and excitedly.
We were happy and returned home【状语从句】
after we had finished collecting all the rubbish.
I often join in many activities 【目的状语】
in order to communicate with other students and broaden my mind.
背诵的诸如 so that， not only ,but also ，it is+adj+to do等句型，在写作中进一步思考使用。
I like reading interesting books that are about history in the morning at school, because reading can not only make us grow up more and more happily but also make me clever.【4词变成了32词】
添加副词
I like reading books, (举例补充细节)
such as novels, short stories, magazines and newspapers.
As we all know, “Practice makes perfect”.
So we should study hard.（添加谚语）
I walk to school everyday in order to exercise.
It is healthy/good for us to walk to school.
The girl opened her gift box.
unwrapped
词汇换用
积累同义词 反义词 近义词
强化演练
结构的运用
形容词或形容词短语
The girl unwrapped her gift box.
Curious and excited, the girl unwrapped her gift box. 并列的形容词
Full of joy, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
形容词短语
The innocent girl unwrapped her delicate gift box.
形容词修饰名词
介词短语
The girl unwrapped her gift box.
Without any hesitation, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
In surprise, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
非谓语动词
The girl unwrapped her gift box.
Screaming with excitement, the girl unwrapped her gift box.(句首)
The girl, screaming with excitement, unwrapped her gift box. (句中)
The girl unwrapped her gift box, screaming with excitement.(句尾)
Held by her mom, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
With 复合结构
with +n+adj/adv/介词短语/非谓语动词
The girl unwrapped her gift box.
With her mouth wide open, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
With her heart beating wildly, the girl unwrapped her gift box.
定语从句 【The girl unwrapped her gift box.】
The girl unwrapped her gift box which she had been looking forward to.
The girl unwrapped her gift box which was tied with red ribbon.
综合所讲方法写一个长句
The girl unwrapped her gift box.
With her heart beating wildly, the innocent girl, held by her mom and screaming with excitement, unwrapped her delicate gift box which she had been looking forward to without any hesitation.
With 复合结构
形容词
非谓语动词
定语从句
介词短语
习作练习
试题要求：假如你是一名中学生，请以My colorful school life为题，写一篇短文。开头和结尾已经给出。
要点提示：
1：上课认真听讲
2：课后完成作业
3：经常参加体育锻炼
4：去图书馆阅读
I’m a high school student and I understand what I’m studying for. I have been working hard. ____________________________________________
May there always be colorful life around my school.
I’m a high school student and I understand what I’m studying for. I have been working hard.
I listen to the teacher carefully.
I finish my homework after class.
I often take exercise.
I often read in the school library.
May there always be colorful life around my school.
评：完整的写出各个要点，没有出现太大的语法错误，表达通顺，单词拼写无误。但是句子的表达过于平淡无奇，没有句式多样化和使用高级词汇，固定搭配、固定短语等使表达地道。而且，没有使用连接词，上下文的连接不够顺畅。
A version of a student's writing
写作过程：
步骤一：列要点【汉语表达 英语结构或简单句】
1: Listen to the teacher carefully
2: finish my homework
3: take part in exercise
4: often read in the library
步骤二：补充要点
对各个要点进行补充，使其相对完整。
1: I listen to the teacher carefully in the class.
2: I finish my homework after class.
3: I often take part in exercise with my classmates.
4: I do some reading in the school library.
步骤三：扩展句子
1: I listen to the teachers carefully in the class
so that I can understand what the teachers say.
(增加目的状语从句和宾语从句)
2: I finish my homework after class, （定语从句）
which is a piece of cake for me.
3: I often take part in exercise with my classmates,
such as playing football, going swimming and playing badminton etc.
4: I often do some reading in the school library
when I have nothing to do after class.
（增加时间状语从句）
（举例说明）
步骤四：润色句子
根据高考英语作文评分细则，第五档的要求：至少有3个复杂句，2种从句形式，语气自然，敬语得体，无中式英语，语言基本功扎实，词汇丰富。
“润色句子包括词语的选择与句型的运用。” 比如可以用高级词汇，短语和固定搭配来替换一般词汇【需要有同义词反义词近义词的积累】。增加特殊表达句式【如强调句】，倒装句，it句式【形式主语和形式宾语句式】，非谓语动词，多种从句，使其多样化。
1: It is necessary for me to listen to the teachers carefully in the class so that I can understand what the teachers say.
(把第一句换成it当形式主语的用法，使句式多样化。)
2: I take homework seriously and finish it in time, which is a piece of cake for me.
(增加了take… seriously 和 in time 两个短语，是句子更加生动)
3: In order to strengthen my body, I often take part in different kinds of exercises with my classmates, such as playing footall, going swimming and playing badminton etc.
（增加了目的状语和different kinds of使句子的意思更完整。）
4: Interested in reading books, I develop the habit of going to the library and do some reading on my favourite books. （使用过去分词短语当状语，再添加短语develop the habit of …使文章增加亮点）
步骤五：连句成篇
“过渡词在文章中起着承上启下的作用，它好比一座桥梁，能将全文各句有机地联系在一起。”
使用表示转折，并列，递进，因果关系等过渡词把句子连接起来，有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑，使上下文更加通顺，逻辑性更强。
1.表示并列关系的：and, also, as well , or, besides…
2.表示转折关系的：but, yet, however …
3.表示时间关系的：when, after, before, then …
4.表示因果关系的：so therefore as a result …
5.表示目的 in order to so that…
6.表示列举 for example such as…
7.表示总结性 in general in short in a word all in all
I’m a high school student and I understand what I’m studying for. I have been working hard.（原文已给）
First of all(过渡词), it is necessary for me to listen to the teachers carefully in the class so that I can understand what the teachers say. What’s more(过渡词), I take homework seriously and finish it in time, which is a piece of cake for me. In addition(过渡词), In order to strengthen my body, I often take part in different kinds of exercises with my classmates, such as playing footall, going swimming and playing badminton etc. Finally(过渡词), Interested in reading books, I develop the habit of going to the library and do some reading on my favourite books.
May there always be colorful life around my school.（原文已给）
Thanks for being with me

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