资源简介

(共14张PPT)
读后续写
Jenny was the only child in her home. She had a quarrel with her mother that afternoon and she ran out of the house angrily. She couldn ’t help weeping when she thought of scolding from her mother. Having wandered in the street for hours, she felt a little hungry and wished for something to eat. She stood beside a stand for a while, watching the middle - aged seller busy doing his business. However, with no money in hand, she sighed and had to leave .
The seller behind the stand noticed the young girl and asked,“ Hey , girl , you want to have the noodles ”
Oh , yes ... but I don ’t have money on me,” she replied .
“That’s nothing . I ' ll treat you today,” said the man .“come in .”
The seller brought her a bowl of noodles, whose smell was so attractive . As she was eating , Jenny cried silently .
“What is it ”asked the man kindly .
“Nothing , actually I was just touched by your kindness !”said Jenny.“Even a stranger on the street will give me a bowl of noodles , while my mother drove me out of the house. She showed no care for me . She is so merciless compared to a stranger !”
Hearing the words, the seller smiled,“Girl , do you really think so I only gave you a bowl of noodles and you thanked me a lot. But it is your mother who has raised you since you were a baby. Can you number the times she cooked for you Have you expressed your gratitude to her ”
Jenny sat there, speechless and numb with shock ; she remembered Mother ’s familiar face and weathered hands .“Why did I not think of that A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel grateful , but I have never thanked my mum for what she has done for me .”
On the way home, Jenny made up her mind to make an apology to her mother for her rudeness as soon as she arrived home .
Paragraph1 Nearing the doorway , Jenny took a deep breath . ________________
Paragraph 2 A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back .__________________
Jenny was the only child in her home. She had a quarrel with her mother that afternoon and she ran out of the house angrily. She couldn ’t help weeping when she thought of scolding from her mother. Having wandered in the street for hours, she felt a little hungry and wished for something to eat. She stood beside a stand for a while, watching the middle - aged seller busy doing his business. However, with no money in hand, she sighed and had to leave .
The seller behind the stand noticed the young girl and asked,“ Hey , girl , you want to have the noodles ”
Oh , yes ... but I don ’t have money on me,” she replied .
“That’s nothing . I ' ll treat you today,” said the man .“come in .”
The seller brought her a bowl of noodles, whose smell was so attractive . As she was eating , Jenny cried silently .
“What is it ”asked the man kindly .
“Nothing , actually I was just touched by your kindness !”said Jenny.“Even a stranger on the street will give me a bowl of noodles , while my mother drove me out of the house. She showed no care for me . She is so merciless compared to a stranger !”
Hearing the words, the seller smiled,“Girl , do you really think so I only gave you a bowl of noodles and you thanked me a lot. But it is your mother who has raised you since you were a baby. Can you number the times she cooked for you Have you expressed your gratitude to her ”
Jenny sat there, speechless and numb with shock ; she remembered Mother ’s familiar face and weathered hands .“Why did I not think of that A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel grateful , but I have never thanked my mum for what she has done for me .”
On the way home, Jenny made up her mind to make an apology to her mother for her rudeness as soon as she arrived home .
Paragraph1 Nearing the doorway , Jenny took a deep breath . ________________
Paragraph 2 A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back .__________________
一、读懂大意，理清脉络
主要是根据记叙文的六要素弄清文章大意，特别要弄清故事的人物，时态（通常是一般过去时），事件（故事的起因和经过），语言特色（以便在续写时语言特色前后一致，保持不变），等等。
（总结：人物，时态和事件，语言特色不要变）
characters人物 :Jenny, her mother , the seller
tense时态: simple past tense
events事件:
events事件：
1.Jenny quarreled with her mother , left home and a few hours later, felt a little hungry .
2.The seller gave a bowel of noodles and Jenny thanked the seller a lot .
3.The seller asked her how many times her mother cooked for her and if she thanked her mother .
4. She realized her mistakes and decided to go home to make an apology to her mother .
1.珍妮跟母亲吵架，离家出走，街上游荡几个钟后，感觉饥饿。
2.好心人给她一碗面吃，她感动流泪。
3.这位陌生人告诉她，母亲将她养大，给她做了无数次饭菜，应当感谢她的母亲。
4.珍妮意识到自己错了，决定回家向妈妈道歉。
语言特色
1．分词短语作状语
(1) Having wandered in the street for hours, she felt a little hungry and wished for something to eat .
(2) She stood beside a stand for a while, watching the middle - aged seller busy doing his business .
(3) Hearing the words, the seller smiled …
2．形容词短语作状语（有的学者认为是补语） Jenny sat there, speechless and numb with shock惊呆了.
3.with的复合结构
However , with no money in hand , she sighed and had to leave .
4．定语从句
The seller brought her a bowl of noodles , whose smell was so attractive .
二、细读首句，构思框架
两段首句定一框
即根据所给两段的首句确定第一段的框架。
二框二首正能量
即第二段的框架，由第二段首句与故事正能量结尾，来确定框架。
Paragraph 1 Nearing the doorway , Jenny took a deep breath .（走到门口，珍妮深吸了一口气）
Paragraph 2 A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back .（轻轻一碰她的头发，她的思绪又回来了）
从第一段首句可知，珍妮应是鼓起勇气敲门回家，但从第二段首句来看，“轻轻碰她的头发”的应是母亲，因为人物就三个，续写中一般不要随意冒出一个新的人物，除非情节发展的确需要；“思绪回来”说明第一段中，珍妮回家没见母亲（根据常识，母亲可能去找女儿了），在回忆跟母亲吵架的事，或在回忆母亲多年的关爱，等等。
构思：Paragraph 1 Nearing the doorway , Jenny took a deep breath .（走到门口，珍妮深吸了一口气）
根据构思的大致框架，推断故事中人物所见、所思、
所说、所做等每段增加五至七个具体细节或叫"57细节法”。
鼓足勇气，推门进屋
母亲外出，该去何处
累而难过，沙发上坐
争吵场面，浮现脑海
自己粗鲁，愧对其母
母亲责骂，皆因关爱
自感羞愧，泪流脸颊
三、增加细节，开始写作
Paragraph 2 A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back .（轻轻一碰她的头发，她的思绪又回来了）
头一望，看见母亲
到处找你，你在这里
母亲虽累，松了口气
扑入怀里，道歉致谢
母亲听后，喜在心头
根据一致性原则，除内容上要语义衔接，上下连贯外，语言风格也要一致，应使用分词语短和形容词作状语，同时注意使用从句。
三、增加细节，开始写作
审读初稿，注意语义是否衔接，前后是否连贯，事件是否符合逻辑，语言特色是否与前文一致。在修改润色之后，整齐工整地誊写在答卷上。
四、修改润色，整洁誉写
Paragraph 1:
Nearing the doorway, Jenny took a deep breath . When she pushed the door open and entered the house, she found her mother was not in. Tired and sad , she sank down onto the sofa .“Where could my mother be ” she wondered .“Was she still angry with me ”Again , the scene of the quarrel appeared in her mind. She remembered her rudeness to her mother . Realizing that all the scolding from her mother was due to the fact that her mother really cared a lot about her, she felt rather ashamed , and tears began to roll down her cheeks .
Paragraph 2:
A gentle touch on her hair called her mind back. She raised her head and saw the familiar face of her mother .“Here you come ! l’ve been looking for you,”she said , tired and relieved. Jenny couldn’t help throwing herself into her mother’s arms.“Mum, I’m so sorry and thank you for all you have done for me.”She expressed her sincere apology and great gratitude. Hearing this, her mother smiled, patting her back gently .
范文语言风格与原文基本一致
五、参考范文
范文语言风格与原文基本一致：
1．分词短语作状语
Realizing that all the scolding from her mother was due to the fact that her mother really cared a lot about her , she flt rather ashamed.…
Hearing this, her mother smiled, patting her back gently .
3．形容词短语作状语
4． Tired and sad , she sank down onto the sofa .
.… she said, tired and relieved .
五、参考范文

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