2024届高三英语复习写作专项读后续写个人成长类 The Magical watch 讲义素材

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2024届高三英语复习写作专项读后续写个人成长类 The Magical watch 讲义素材

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读后续写(25分)
It was time to go home.“Remember to work on your class speeches for homework,”Miss Walker called, as everyone started talking and packing their school bags. Jenny felt sick. She hated having to read aloud in class. She was sure everyone got really bored listening to her. Once, when Jenny was reading out her holiday diary, Lee was even looking at his watch, a silver and blue one which seemed just magical.
Jenny watched Lee walk ahead of her as they left school. He seemed so clever, and he had a certain sort of shining confidence. He was just one of those people who were good at everything. Jenny sighed. As she turned the corner, she saw Lee's watch lying right in the middle of the path.
Jenny knew she should just pick it up and return it to him, but she didn't want to run after him. Jenny bent down quickly, picked up the watch and ran home. On arriving home, Jenny put it on almost without thinking. She was surprised it fitted so well. She walked to the mirror and started practicing her speech. Words just flooded outof her.“I'm going to talk about swimming. I have been lucky. I've won lots of competitions. But when I'm in a race, I'm not really thinking about winning. I'm just loving the feeling of being in the water...”Jenny laughed with excitement. She walked across the room. She suddenly seemed to have a certain sort of confidence. Turning back to the mirror, Jenny saw a flash of light from the watch in the glass. The flashes of silver seemed almost magical. So maybe Lee's watch really DID have something magic.
The next day, as the lesson began, Miss Walker asked who was going to be brave and go first. No-body moved. Jenny slowly raised her arm. Before Miss Walker could say anything, there was a shout from behind. “She's stolen my watch!” Lee said angrily,“ It went missing at school yesterday.”
注意:
1. 所续写的短文词数应为150左右;
2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为二段,每段的开头语已经为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
Everybody was fixing their eyes on Jenny, waiting for anexplanation.
Paragraph 2:
At that moment, Miss Walker smiled and asked the class to listento Jenny's speech first.
第一步
文本分析:
人物:
Miss Walker: Jenny; Lee: classmates
原文情节
Miss Walker布置了在课堂演讲的任务,Jenny对此感到担心,她讨厌在课堂上大声朗读,她认为大家听她的演讲都会觉得无聊。放学回家的路上,她捡到了Lee的手表,Lee是那种充满自信什么都擅长的人。她本想把手表还给Lee,但发现手表似乎有魔力,给了她自信,让她能流利地演讲。第二天,她戴着手表去了学校,并在课堂上勇敢地举手。这时Lee发现了她手腕上的手表。
第二步: 理清主要矛盾(高潮) (依据:读后续写一般都在叙述高潮部分断开,以此突出情节)
Jenny 捡到 Lee 的手表watch没在第一时间归还return,并以为佩戴魔法magical手表watch就能给自己增加自信confidence,结果在第二天的演讲speech课上被发现。
第三步:解决矛盾,安排主次角色,合理添加细节(据我观察,高分作文的几个特征:内容凸显正能量,情节温情以及结尾的升华)
人物关系或情节发展常见模式:
1. 主角遇到困难 (矛盾开始)
2. 辅助角色起激励或引领或帮助作用 (化解矛盾)
3. 主角的到成长,蜕变(结尾升华)
续写思路发展
Everybody was fixing their eyes on Jenny, waiting for an explanation.Miss Walker smiled and asked the class lo listen lo Jenny's speech first.由第一段首句内容“大家都把目光投向Jenny,等待她的解释。”可知,第段需要描写Jenny十分紧张的心理活动。再由第二段首句内容“Miss Walker笑了笑,让全班同学先听Jenny的演讲’可以推测,在第一段中,Jenny没有把表还给Lee.于是第一段的走向可以从两个方面人手:
1.Jenny没有解释,请求先进行演讲
2.Jenny解释说她捡到了Lee的手表,打算在演讲后还给Lee
Miss Walker smiled and asked the class lo listen lo Jenny's speech first由第二段首句内容“Miss Walker笑了笑,让全班同学先听Jenny的演讲’和正能量原则(困难、误解、错误等,最终都要解决,有圆满结局),可以推测第二段可描写Jenny成功地进行了演讲,(从紧张到圆满完成[曲折性原则1)向大家解释清楚了戴上手表的原因,并把手表还给了Lee.
第四步:成文
Possible answer:
Everybody was fixing their eyes on Jenny, waiting for an explanation.(矛盾开始) Jenny returned the watch and looked at him, feeling sorry for what she had done and saying in a low voice :” No, I didn’t steal your “magical watch”. I picked it up yesterday. But…” Miss Walkersmiled to Jenny and continued, “ But you intend to return the “magical watch” after your speech, right I believe you would do like that. Now, since you’ve returned the watch. Let’s concentrate on your speech, brave girl.” Jenny nodded to her and repeated those words “I believe you…brave girl” in her heart. (化解矛盾)
At that moment, Miss Walker smiled and asked the class to listen to Jenny's speech first.
Jenny thought to herself : “at least Miss Walker believes me, at least I am a brave girl.” She collected all her courage to stand in front of the whole class and with Miss Walker’s encouraging smile and sentences, words flooded out of her again. Jenny made it even without the “magical watch”. She came to know that confidence never goes with anything but belief. (主角成长,结尾升华)(178words)
妙用句式:
①Jenny紧张,不知说些什么
Jenny could feel her palms sweating and his heart thumping violently, unawareof what to say.
用具体动作描写-突出心理】【形容词作状语
②)全班一片寂静和尴尬,
The whole classroom was ruled by silence and embarrassment.
“被...笼罩着”】学用环境描写短语:be ruled by...
③)这时, Miss Walker问道:“Jenny你为什么戴着Lee的手表呢 ’Then came Miss Walker's voice, “Why is Lee's watch on your wrist ’衔接+语言描写】【完全倒装句】
(version 2)At that moment, Miss Walker asked in bewilderment, “Why is Lee's watch on your wrist ’(语言描写进阶)
④Jenny犹豫,决定将真相告诉所有人。然而,想到精心准备的演讲,有魔力的手表,她改变了主意。
Having hesitated for a while, Jenny decided to tell the truth. However, the thought of the well-prepared speech with the magic watch changed her mind.【心理描写-曲折】【非谓语动词+无灵主语】
⑤ Jenny乞求先演讲,再解释With her face turning pale, Jenny looked helplessly at Miss Walker, “Can l give my speech first and then explain ’ She made the request in a tone of begging.
表情:突出心理活动/语言描写】【with的复合结构+in a tone of...语青描写进阶】
⑥Jenny紧张地走上讲台,她等待着这只表发挥魔力,但是没有任何作用With butterflies in her stomach, Jenny walked slowly to the front. All round her, a sea of faces were watching. She felt so frightened and the watch didn’t seem magical at all.
心理描写+动作描写+环境描写】【与第一段首句进行协同呼应with的复合结构】
⑦突然Jenny看到Miss Walker鼓励的微笑,焦虑消失了,心中涌起了自信Suddenly Jenny saw Miss Walker's encouraging smile and her anxiety disappeared as confidence surged in her heart.
衔接+情感的变化)
⑧ Jenny完美地完成了她的演讲,全班同学为她鼓掌Jenny took a deep breath and began her speech. The moment she finished, the whole class stood up applauding Jenny's wonderful performance.具体动作描写】【-...就...the moment/minute/instant...+非谓语】
⑨Jenny松了一口气,告诉了大家真相,向Lee道歉。Jenny breathed a sigh of relief, told everybody the truth and I gave the watch back to Lee.
动作描写】【动作链】
⑩升华:现在,她已经意识到了,真正的自信来源于内心,【衔接+心理活动描写】【多种特殊句式】倒装句
It was not until then did Jenny realise the real source of confidence.
强调句
It was at that moment that Jenny realised what mattered most was the confidence from within.
虚拟语气
But for/ Without this experience, Jenny wouldn't have realised what mattered most was the confidence from within.

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