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读后续写 联考好题 七彩阳光联盟 思路详解
2024-2 七彩阳光联盟 续写题目
My story started one autumn morning, at the bend on a path.
I was 13 years old, and was on the way to school. It was the first time I had caught sight of a fox. Fascinated to the point that I forgot all fear, I dared to go up to it. I had never come so close to a wild animal. There was nobody else around, only me and the fox.
“Hey, fox!” I tried to greet it, though my voice was so weak it felt like I was saying hello to myself. It didn’t hear me. It stayed there and I watched it. My heart was beating flat out. It was so cute. For a moment, I thought I might be able to touch it.
Throughout the day at school, I could only think of the fox at the big beech（山毛榉）tree. At my return to the place where we met, I was sure I’d find it there.
And I did. This time I gathered a little bit more courage and called out to it, “Fox!” Of course it escaped. But that only made me long to meet it again. I decided that if I could find its kennel（洞）and catch it, I would try and tame（驯服）it, making it my friend.
Thus, I spent most of my free time in the forests trying to find the fox during the following months. But I never saw it again before winter came. During the winter, I followed its footprints far across the fields. Suddenly I was alarmed by the howling of wolves near me. I ran away frightened, stumbled and hurt my ankle. It healed very slowly, so that I had to stay at home during the winter, reading a book about animals of the forest and foxes.
When spring arrived, I was free again. I looked for fox kennels and waited for my fox. To my amazement, it had got young ones but kept moving because of my observations; therefore I decided to observe the fox from a longer distance.
续写
Paragraph 1: Finally, it would let me get close.
Paragraph 2: To my surprise, the day after I took it home, it fled.
思路详解
续写点（矛盾 问题 传达思想 情感）：
1.是否能靠近，最终如何能靠近、带回家驯服它成为朋友
2.逃走之后怎么办 感悟
构思时注意：
段1：通过给出的两个段首句可知 续写点1在第一段解决。根据故事原文部分可推断出，在首段介绍如何最终能靠近时，应采用过程概述的方式，而不是具体某件事 某个场景，因为原文就是这种过程概述方式，而且原文并没有给出线索表明我和狐狸是通过某个具体事情具体场景而转变关系增进关系的。所以本段最好描述出整个大概过程，不要只聚焦于某个场景的事件。
段2：第二段要写到狐狸逃走之后我的所为所感。根据原文我对狐狸的痴迷程度，这里比较合理的设计是再次来到狐狸家察看情况并希望再次将其带回家。但故事的结局比较合理的应该是我放弃带走狐狸 让它回归自然，所以，在写再次来到洞口察看时，需要写出能让我转变想法的见闻。比较合理的见闻应该是与小狐狸有关，因为原文提到过这个狐狸有了宝宝，这就是一个可以利用的线索。这个见闻让我有所转变，并内心有所感悟。这个感悟可以是关于喜欢与占有方面的，因为原文反复提到我很喜欢它，想要将其带回驯服。
设计示例：
P1: 我 fox
我：耐心 远观
Fox：逐渐习惯 不再move
我：高兴，带来食物 放好食物就回到远处
fox：仔细闻辨之后 带回洞中
几次反复之后 我再次尝试靠近
Fox：不再害怕远离 甚至 主动靠近 在身边坐下
我：如此兴奋 带它回家 想驯服它
P2: 我 fox
我：伤心难过 赶往洞口察看 心想再次带回
Fox：和宝宝在一起 被宝宝们围绕 小狐狸躺在它的怀里 惬意自在
我：明白它离开的原因 转变想法 不再试图带回家
如之前一样 经常来 只远观 带食物
感悟：喜欢是尊重爱护 而非占有
心动范文
Paragraph 1: Finally, it would let me get close.
But before that, several days had seen my distant and patient observation, during which time the fox gradually got accustomed to my presence and finally quit moving. Delighted to see its attitude transformation, I started to bring some food, put it outside the kennel and soon returned to my distant observation site to avoid disturbing and frightening the fox. Every time, it carried the food back to the kennel after cautiously sniffing. Several times later, I attempted to get close and was astonished to find that it didn’t get away. What thrilled me further was that it would even initiatively walk to me and lie beside me for a while. So thrilled was I that one day I impulsively took it home, imaging to tame it with tips from my book.
Paragraph 2: To my surprise, the day after I took it home, it fled.
A mixture of grief and disappointment overwhelming me, I rushed towards the kennel, expecting to take it back again. However, what came into my sight when I arrived deeply shocked and touched me. The fox was surrounded by its young ones, some of whom were lying in its warm belly peacefully and leisurely, with its eyes narrowing under warm sunshine and soft forest breeze . It was at this moment that I realized why the fox fled and what I should do. Since then, my selfish desire to occupy and tame it has completely vanished. Instead, I just regularly brought some food and observed quietly and contentedly from the distance as I did before, because I have been convinced that fascination and affection mean respecting and giving freedom instead of occupation.
重点词句解析
1.several days had seen my distant and patient observation：使用无灵主语
2.got accustomed to：习惯于
3.Transformation：n转变，升级change
4.Cautiously：谨慎地 升级carefully
5.Sniff：v闻 嗅
6.Attempt：v n试图， 升级try
7.Astonish：v使震惊，升级surprise
8.What thrilled me further was that：使用名从
9.Thrill：v使兴奋
10. Initiatively：主动地
11.So thrilled was I that：使用倒装
12.Impulsively：冲动地
13.A mixture of grief and disappointment overwhelming me：使用独立主格结构
14.what came into my sight：使用名从
15.Leisurely：悠闲地
16.Narrow：v （眼睛）眯
17.It was at this moment that：使用强调句
18.Vanish：v消失
19.Contentedly：满足地
20.be convinced：确信
21.Fascination：n着迷
22.Affection：n喜爱
23.Occupation：占有

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