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2022年临沂市一轮模拟读后续写分析
第二节 读后续写（满分25分）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
As a nurse at the cancer care center where I’ve worked for seven years, I’ll do almost anything to make a patient feel better. But when I met Patty at the center, in 2011, she didn’t want my help.
作为癌症护理中心的一名护士，我已经在那里工作了七年，我几乎会做任何事情让病人感觉更好。但2011年，当我在中心遇到帕蒂时，她不需要我的帮助。
She was a tiny 44-year-old single mom battling an aggressive head and neck cancer. Unlike many of our other patients, Patty was alone during her treatment, but no matter what I did. I couldn't get her to open up. She just buried herself in book or pulled a blanket over her head to fend off conversation.
她是一位44岁的单身母亲，正在与癌症作斗争。与我们的许多其他患者不同，帕蒂在治疗期间是独自一人，但无论我做了什么。我无法让她开口说话。她只是埋头看书，或者把毯子盖在头上，以避开谈话。
Eventually I hit on a reliable way to make Patty smile: mentioning her nine-year-old son, Stephen. She'd tell me how well he did in school, how he'd been selected to read a poem he wrote at a local bookstore. She desperately wanted to live for him. With three kids myself, I totally understood how she felt.
最终，我找到了一个可靠的方法让帕蒂微笑：提到她九岁的儿子斯蒂芬。她会告诉我他在学校表现如何，他是如何被选中阅读他在当地书店写的一首诗的。她非常想为他活着。我自己有三个孩子，我完全理解她的感受。
After a year and a half of treatment, in August 2012, Patty was told her cancer had spread, and I learned she wouldn't live much longer. My first thought was, “What's going to happen to Stephen ”
经过一年半的治疗，2012年8月，帕蒂被告知她的癌症已经扩散，我得知她活不了多久了。我的第一个想法是，“斯蒂芬会怎么样？”
Nurses at the center shared stories at their meetings about how bright and unusual the boy was. but no one seemed to know how to resolve the issue of what would happen to him when his mom died. My husband, Michael, who too works at the center, started hearing about Patty and Stephen.
该中心的护士们在会议上分享了这个男孩是多么聪明和不同寻常的故事。但似乎没有人知道如何解决他母亲去世后会发生什么的问题。我的丈夫迈克尔也在该中心工作，他开始听说帕蒂和斯蒂芬的事。
One morning in October, Patty quietly slipped away. Michael and I picked Stephen up after school, drove him to a nearby park, and sat on a bench by a pond. I finally managed to say, “Stephen, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your mom came to an end this morning.” The sound that came out of his mouth was like nothing I'd ever heard before. This skinny little guy sat between the two of us and just wailed (哀号) and wailed. It was as if his whole world was just destroyed.
十月的一个早晨，帕蒂悄悄地溜走了。迈克尔和我放学后接斯蒂芬，开车送他去附近的公园，坐在池塘边的长椅上。我终于说：“斯蒂芬，我们很抱歉不得不告诉你，但你妈妈今天早上结束了。”从他嘴里传出来的声音是我以前从未听过的。这个瘦骨嶙峋的小家伙坐在我们两个人中间哭了(哀号) 然后嚎啕大哭。就好像他的整个世界都被毁了。
注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
文本分析：
故事大意：
本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者在癌症护理中心作护士，Patty是一位患有脑癌的病人，她去世后留下了她的儿子Stephen，Stephen知道自己的妈妈去世后哭得很厉害。
【详解】1.段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“我内心的某种东西在告诉我该怎么做。”可知，第一段可描写作者具体的打算，也就是要收养这个男孩。
②由第二段首句内容“最后，我们带他和我们一起回家”可知，第二段可描写作者带Stephen回家后所发生的事情。
2.续写线索：决定收养——告诉丈夫——Stephen同意——孩子们接受
3.词汇激活: 行为类①决定：decide/determine②告诉：tell/inform③点头：nod/give the nod④接受：accept/take
情绪类①高兴地：happily/delightedly②热情地：warmly/fervidly
学生中存在的问题：
在审题方面，有个别同学思路出现偏差。第一自然段中，有同学用更多的篇幅写我收到男孩母亲生前写的信，我决定收养他。这种情况下，这种助人为乐的精神便没有那么纯粹。第二自然段中，有个别同学写到我们把他带到他自己的家里，这是严重跑题的。另外一种比较普遍的现象是，大部分同学思路完全正确。但是满篇的简单句像是记流水账，丝毫没有美感。在我们的学生群体中，能够完整地写出一篇可以作为示范的同学不多。但可以看出，在课堂上给大家展示了优秀的高级句型之后，有些同学是可以做到积极模仿并举一反三的。以下是筛选出来的优秀作文，虽有个别错误，但个别句子值得大家借鉴。
参考答案：
Something inside me was telling me what to do. So sad was stephen that he was deeply immersed in the emotion and couldn’t contain his tears. seeing this, I gave him a hug tightly. Worried and wondering what to do, I turned to my husband, Michael. With a confirming look,Michael's eyes seemed to say" I support you!" Therefore, I lowered myself and said to him gently, " would you like to live with us " With tears dropping from his eyes, stephen lifted his head, made an eye contact with me and answered in a whisper " I'd love to". we finally smiled, with relief.
Finally, we took him home with us. Prior to his arrival, I explained stephen's story to my three kids. To our relief, they were thrilled to have another companion. No sooner had the three kids seen stephen than they rushed to him.Stephen’s face flushed with embarrassment. But they soon became friends, playing games and running around the yard. I'm so glad that my children were so kind and were willing to share everything with other children. playing with kids happily, his eyes twinkled with appreciation, and I'm so glad Stephen integrated into our family .
分析：
此作文中重在细节描写，A角色和B角色交叉进行叙述，融汇动作描写、语言描写、心理描写、神态描写等写作方式。高级句型涉及到倒装、现在分词、过去分词做状语、with复合结构、特殊句式等，这些写作方式和高级句型让故事情节更加生动丰盈。
默写版：
Something inside me was telling me what to do. _____________________________
________________________________________斯蒂芬是如此的悲伤，以至于他深深地沉浸在这种情绪中，无法控制自己的眼泪。 seeing this, I gave him a hug tightly. Worried and wondering what to do, I turned to my husband, Michael. _________________________________________________________________迈克尔眼神坚定，似乎在说：“我支持你！”Therefore, I lowered myself and said to him gently, " would you like to live with us " __________________________________
______________________________________________斯蒂芬泪流满面，抬起头，与我眼神交流，轻声回答：“我很乐意。”. we finally smiled, with relief.
Finally, we took him home with us. Prior to his arrival, I explained stephen's story to my three kids.________________________________________________________让我们松了一口气的是，他们很高兴有了另一个同伴 . No sooner had the three kids seen stephen than they rushed to him.__________________________________斯蒂芬尴尬得脸红了. But they soon became friends, playing games and running around the yard. I'm so glad that my children were so kind and were willing to share everything with other children. ___________________________________________
___________________________________________________和孩子们快乐地玩耍，他的眼睛闪烁着感激的光芒，我很高兴斯蒂芬融入了我们的家庭.

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