2024届高考英语读后续写:打破规则还是遵守规则讲义素材

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2024届高考英语读后续写:打破规则还是遵守规则讲义素材

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Break the rule or not
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。
One day, in the middle of the year, we all filed into the classroom as usual. Mr Williams followed us, entering the room last, stealthily sidestepping and holding something behind his back.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said, dramatically revealing a plastic bag with a tropical fish in it. He held it up and demonstrated that the fish would be our class pet.
After putting the fish in the tank, he asked us to name it and feed it every day. There was only one rule — not negotiable. We could not, under any circumstance, touch the fish with our hands. Mr Williams warned us that if he caught any student with the hands in the tank or if our fingers directly came close to those technicolor scales, we would be suspended from school for two days, no questions asked. This iron rule was thus formed in our class.
Day after day we’d come to class and feed the fish. There was a girl student named Amy in our class, who was enchanted by this beautiful fish in particular. She often pictured what the fish could do if it were swimming free in the lake. Even sometimes she pressed her face up to the glass watching this rainbow in motion swim back and forth. Over time, she settled on a name for it: Confucius. About a week into Confucius’s desirable family residence, we took turns conducting its daily feeding with caution.
The familiar bell ringing, Mr Williams casually stepped onto the platform for class. The intense eyes had to fix on him, afraid to neglect the key points of the exam. Suddenly a terrifying sound interrupted our attentive gaze, like a tsunami coming. Unexpectedly, Confucius jumped from the tank to the ground. Maybe it listened to Mr Williams cheering. Confucius flipped and gasped, struggling desperately on the ground.
Finally Amy got up from her seat._____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Relieved, we turned our eyes to Mr Williams.____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【文本解读】
本文属于主题语境中人与社会; 人与自我。
Williams 老师给学生带来一条热带鱼,养在教室里的金鱼缸里。学生们可以给它取名,可以喂养它,唯一的要求是绝对不能用手直接触碰它的身体,不然会被停学。有一个叫艾米的女生特别喜爱这条鱼,还给它取名“孔子”。意外的事情发生了,在同学们认真上课的时候,“孔子”从鱼缸里跳了出来到了地上,拼命挣扎,奄奄一息。
【建议主题】
规则意识。在不违背原则的情况下,灵活处理规则。
【关键词】
the awareness of rules; apply rules flexibly
【情节构建】
续写第一段参考情节:①Amy的反应;②教室里课堂混乱的场面及同学们的反应;③Amy在规则制度下的挣扎;④Amy想出了一个不违规的方法,救助奄奄一息的“孔子”的过程。(如:戴手套或用工具把鱼放到鱼缸里,手就没有直接触碰鱼)。如写到Amy直接用手救鱼也可。
续写第二段参考情节:①Williams老师准备惩罚违规的Amy;②“孔子”得救后同学们的反应;③Amy为自己辩护。④Williams 老师继续上课,引出主题:在不违背原则的情况下,灵活处理规则是一项聪明之举。如第一段写到Amy直接用手救,这一段可写在危急时刻,对应规则灵活处理也可。
【写作问题】
情节问题:续写第一段未对Amy在规则制度下挣扎的描写,而是直接写救起了鱼,弱化了本文强调的规则意识;续写第二段未提及规则意识或者未强调在不违背原则的情况下,灵活处理规则,而是只对救起了鱼之后感到松了一口气或者只是抒发传递善良与爱心的情感。
语言问题:①直接引语过多;②语言贫乏,尤其是Amy去救助奄奄一息的“孔子”这一过程的细节描写不够。
【精彩表达】
“救鱼”场景描写
Amy eased her way to the tank, crouched and reached her hand, but hesitated as if an invisible thread was pulling her, when the fear of iron rule crawled on her heart.
To our surprise, Amy put on a pair of gloves made of special of materials and charged towards Confucius, on the verge of losing breath. We watched her bend down, carefully stroke out the dust on its technicolor scales and put it into the tank.
Witnessing our beloved Confucius flipping on the ground, suffocated and hopeless, Amy felt heart split and was eager to save it, but the iron rule lingered in her mind — no touch. Time was ticking away. Amy cupped it with both hands meticulously and lifted it so softly and swiftly to the tank.
All the eyes were glued on Amy, afraid of her breaking the rule. But she stepped in front of the struggling fish, caught the slippery body and took it into the tank, her radiant face glowing with comfort.
巧妙结尾
We rubbed our chins thoughtfully, with an insight into the rule and flexibility. There in the tank, Confucius was dancing in the water, with its technicolor scales, singing for its little hero’s sympathetic and flexible mind.
( 26班 李雨函)
【优秀范文1】
Finally Amy got up from her seat. The bright girl, on the verge of tears, flew to Confucius like a gust of wind. “No!” We let out a deafening roar in chaos, with a noisy discussion hanging over the classroom. “The rule!” Mr Williams’s warning echoed in Amy's mind repeatedly. “Under no circumstances are you to touch the fish.” Hesitantly, she took a step back. Confucius lay on the ground, with its mouth gasping for air and its tail gradually stopping swinging. We all sat frozen in place,and just watched, at a loss what to do in panic. At this critical moment Amy had an idea. She put the plastic bag over her hand swiftly, picked Confucius up like a live grenade and put it back into the tank. Thankfully, the lovely creature came to life in the water. It swam merrily, as if to express its gratitude to the sweet angel Amy.
Relieved, we turned our eyes to Mr Williams. Unfortunately, Mr Williams, with a severe look on his face, told Amy to pack her bags and suspended her from school for two days. “Are you serious ” We were all babbling, wearing a woebegone expression. But Mr Williams did not show the slightest inclination to change. We flocked to the tank, and pressed our faces up to the glass to watch Confucius, wallowing in our guilt. Just then, Amy raised her heroic hand high, still wrapped in the plastic bag. “Look!” A confident smile spread across her lips. She didn’t touch the fish directly with her fingers. That was not against the rule. Mr Williams nodded in agreement and went back to lecturing. Delighted and proud of Amy, we all cast eyes now and then on Amy, who invited us to witness how smart it was to apply rules flexibly without violating principles.
【优秀范文2】
Finally Amy got up from her seat. Staring at the distressed rainbow, she shivered badly and almost dissolved into heartbroken tears. In no time, she sprinted to her beloved fish as fast as a cricket and reached out to hold it. Suddenly, her hands froze in air, which reminded all of us of the iron rule. In our gaze full of anxiety and concern, Amy quickly fished out a clean towel from her pocket and gently made it wet with the water in the tank. Then she delicately wrapped Confucius with the towel, which seemed to effectively alleviate its struggle and soothe it. With exceedingly care, Amy placed the rainbow onto a writing board, moved it to the tank and finally rescued the charming creature back to the water. The panicked fish slid into its residence and danced freely as if it were expressing its gratitude to Amy, who watched with her face pressed onto the glass.
Relieved, we turned our eyes to Mr. Williams. To our great surprise, he was radiant with a smile and thumbed up to the brave fish saver, without whose timely and appropriate assistance, we might have lost a lovely friend. Confronted with our applause, cheers and compliments, Amy shyly drooped her head and color flared on her checks. Mr. Williams claimed that Amy's action was absolutely right and her conduct was a flexible approach to the rule. To honor her valiant behavior, he even promised Amy could feed the fish extra two weeks. Amy looked up with joy, delight shimmering in her eyes and uttered: "Thank you. Mr. Williams!"Amy became a hero and star in my class, whose love for animals exerted an exemplary impact on us. We spared no effort to protect the dancing rainbow painstakingly and the flexibility about rules would be cherished in our minds forever.

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