资源简介

需要续写的文章如下
The Ice Cream Truck
“Never give up! Never give up!”chanted two young children, Max and Lily, as they marched barefoot behind their grandmother Mimi who was leading them on a great adventure, straight off the beach where they had spent the day building sand castles and swimming in the sea. They were seeking the mysterious ice-cream truck!
Over the years.Mimi had become an example of positivity for her family. It was not a title she earned without effort, however. Her husband died early and at only forty years old she was left to raise her daughter alone. She faced the heart-breaking disaster powerful enough. She could have lived under a black cloud. But she challenged herself to find joy every day instead. She was always up for a new challenge, whether that was hiking across the rocky mountain in Austria to get a better view of the breathtaking scenery, or signing up for tap-dancing classes at fifty. Leading by example, Mimi taught her daughter just how much one could achieve with a positive attitude.
And obviously she had taken the same approach in her relationship with her grandchildren as well.Before starting her adventure with Max and Lily on that hot July afternoon, Mimi heard the ice-cream man's bell from her beach chair.She turned and saw him briefly spotting his green shirt and catching the sight of his waving bell before he turned and disappeared. The ice-cream man visited the beach on a daily basis,although the delay between the sound of his bell and the disappearance of his truck is not long. One must be quick to catch them.
Max and Lily were disappointed when they didn’t catch him in time that day. That was until Mimi’s eyes shone and she said,”Never give up!” She explained that the truck might be gone,but they could hurry up to find it at its next stop.
They walked blocked after block. Not knowing which direction the truck had taken, they had to make their best guess about where to search. The kids’ tiny legs were tired, but they went on, continuing the chant,”Never give up! Never give up!”
注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2.续写部分分为两段, 每段的开头语已为你写好。
After about twenty minutes of walking, Max’s faith started to get shaken in the burning sun.
Just two blocks later, they found it.
文本分析：
故事大意：
故事讲述的奶奶Mimi是一个不管面对什么样的困难和灾难都能保持积极乐观的人物，她的行动也给整个家庭树立了榜样。文中描述了奶奶在一个大热天带着孩子们外出游玩时，孩子们想吃冰淇淋却又没有跟上冰淇淋车，在寻找冰淇淋车的过程中孩子们因为天热、劳累而信念动摇的时候，奶奶鼓励孩子们要坚持寻找，最终孩子们吃上了可口的冰淇淋的故事。
续写两段的情节发展：
第一段应描写孩子们信心动摇，奶奶给予鼓励，他们继续寻找冰淇淋车。
第二段应描写找到冰淇淋车后，孩子们和奶奶的反应、感悟并升华主题。
一篇下水文：
But Mimi kept encouraging them,"Come on, you can do it!" She reminded them that if they kept going, they would eventually find the truck.Just two blocks later, they found it.The ice-cream truck was parked in front of a small park, and the kids were overjoyed. Mimi smiled and said,"See, l told you never to give up!"The kids ran to the truck, eager to get their favorite ice-cream. Mimi followed them, but she was not in a hurry. She knew that the journey was just as important as the destination.
Mimi watched as her grandchildren enjoyed their ice-cream, and she was filled with pride. She was proud of them for never giving up, and she was proud of herself for teaching them the importance of perseverance.Mimi knew that life was full of challenges, but she also knew that with a positive attitude and a never-give-up spirit, anything was possible. She had seen it in he own life, and she was now seeing it in the lives of her grandchildren.Mimi was determined to continue to lead by example and to pass on her positive attitude to her family, She was sure that with her guidance, Max and Lily would be able to face any challenge that life threw their way.
下水文分析：
1.按照高考读后续写评分标准，文章与所给短文融洽度较高，与各段落开头语衔接合理，情节合理，语言流畅，语法和词汇使用也比较准确丰富.
2.但是这篇作品中有一些不足。文章两段长短不一，不够精彩。当我问到不够精彩的原因是它缺少了读后续写描写时常用的一个技巧：to show, not to tell.
Show和Tell有何区别呢？
Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.这句话出自俄国作家契诃夫，体现的就是这个道理。 如果直接陈述内容，作品将会生硬、没有情感、描写浮于表面。
文章中，孩子们泄气、疲劳、不愿意走的细节并没有，而是直接给出了奶奶鼓励的话语；看到冰激凌车后，孩子们的欢呼雀跃文中也只用了一个overjoyed一词。
参考范文：
After about twenty minutes of walking, Max’s faith started to get shaken in the burning sun. He wondered out loud, “Maybe we should quit. We have been walking pretty far and haven’t seen the truck yet.” With that, he collapsed, resting his aching legs and rubbing his sore feet. Mimi bent over and patted him gently on the shoulder. Smiling, she comforted the boy, “Max, remember: winners never quit, and quitters never win”. “Yeah! Never give up!” Lily agreed. Max looked up, thought for a while and jumped to his feet. “You are right. Let’s hurry!” And so they marched on.
Just two blocks later, they found it. The ice-cream truck was parked just around the corner, shining brilliantly in the sunlight, as if waiting to reward the three adventurers with a most generous treat for their patience and determination. “Finally!” Max cried at this sight, throwing a fist in the air, while Lily screamed with excitement. They laughed, cheered, and chanted in chorus, “Never give up!” In that magical moment, Mimi turned that phrase into a battle cry for the children. They would be ready for any challenges upon hearing these words. So never give up; your ice cream truck may be just a block away.
当到续写参考范文时，大家直呼还是细节描写更有画面感，更能触动心弦，引起共鸣。
比如：
孩子们疲惫、泄气的描写
He collapsed, resting his aching legs and rubbing his fore feet.
奶奶安慰鼓励孩子的描写
Mimi bent over and patted him gently on the shoulder.
冰淇淋车的描写
The truck was shining brilliantly in the sunlight, as if waiting to reward the three adventures with a most generous treat for their patience and determination.
孩子们看到冰淇淋车的描写
Max cried at this sight, throwing a fist in the air while Lily screamed with excitement....They laughed, cheered and chanted...
主旨的升华也是那么巧妙
Your icecream truck may be just a block away.

展开更多......

收起↑