2024届高考英语作文复习专项读后续写:感恩节的鲜花 讲义

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2024届高考英语作文复习专项读后续写:感恩节的鲜花 讲义

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读后续写:感恩节的鲜花
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Thanksgiving for the Soul
Working as a primary teacher in Pompton Lakes Primary School, New Jersey, I particularly believed in cultivating love in children from an early age. I wanted children to experience that it’s more blessed to give than to receive. I wanted them to understand that love of society and love of life is not just lip service; that people somehow have to make it come alive. I hoped they could experience a sense of their own power to make a difference.
There was a rural area nearby where a lot of aged people lived in solitude (孤独). They either had no family or their children had left to work in big cities. Most of them lived on government aid to keep body and soul together. An agency, which was in charge of the elder people in this region, had once told me about a needy grandmother, Mrs. Wilson, who had lived alone for many years. I had always desired to do something for her. So I came up with the Thanksgiving plan.
In October, I told the eight-year-olds in my class about my plan. “I’d like all of you to do extra jobs around the house to earn some money,” I said. “Then we’ll buy food for a Thanksgiving dinner for a needy grandma who might not have a nice dinner otherwise.”
Early in Thanksgiving week, the boys and girls arrived in class clutching (紧握) their hard-earned money. They had cleared rubbish, set tables, washed dishes, helped with younger siblings. And now they couldn’t wait to go shopping.
I watched while they ran up and down the supermarket aisles (货架通道). At last we headed toward the checkout, pushing a cart filled with turkey and all the trimmings (配料). Then someone spotted a “necessity”—flowers, which caught their attention. All kids ran toward the holiday flowers, with one proposing, “Flowers! We can buy her a bunch of flowers!”
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
“Flowers may not be as practical as food.” I said. _________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
With a food box and a bunch of flowers, we finally arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s home.
___________________________________________________________________________
审题:
故事概要:
我在一所小学教书,一直以来我都希望从小培养孩子们的爱心,希望他们体验到给予的快乐。学校附近有个孤寡老人社区,我一直很想帮助社区里的独居老人Mrs. Wilson。感恩节来临之前,我让孩子们回家通过做家务挣些钱,到感恩节时为Mrs. Wilson买感恩节的晚餐。感恩节前,孩子们存够了钱,跟我一起去超市购买感恩节的晚餐的食材。结合标题,如果说感恩节送给孤寡老人送食物能够解决她的饥饿问题,那么送一束鲜花一定能够慰藉她的灵魂。
第一段续写思路:
文章最后一句告诉我们,正当我们准备结账离开超市的时候,有人发现了“必需品”——鲜花,有孩子提议再给Wilson奶奶买一束鲜花。第一段的首句“Flowers may not be as practical as food.” I said. 表明了作者对于买鲜花的态度,觉得鲜花没有食物实用。而第二段首句是With a food box and a bunch of flowers, we finally arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s home. 读者可以推测出孩子们一定是说服“我”买了一束鲜花送给Wilson奶奶,并开车前往她家。
Paragraph 1 参考要点:
孩子们说服我购买鲜花送给奶奶;
选购鲜花;
孩子们和我一起去往Wilson奶奶家。(和下文的衔接)
第二段续写思路:
第二段的首句With a food box and a bunch of flowers, we finally arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s home. 提示读者续写到达Wilson奶奶家之后,我们给Mrs. Wilson送感恩节食材和鲜花的过程。
Paragraph 2 参考要点:
对Mrs. Wilson奶奶状态或生活状况的描写;
我们将感恩节的食材拿进屋子后Mrs. Wilson的反应,尤其是看到鲜花时的反应;
③ 主题升华(升华到通过“助人”获得成长的快乐基本达到写作要求;若能升华到鲜花能给人带来精神上的滋养,则更完美)。
范文:
“Flowers may not be as practical as food.” I said. “
“食物会让她一天吃饱肚子,但鲜花会让她高兴几天或更长时间。”其中一个人坚持说。“Food will feed her for the day, but flowers will delight her for days or longer.” one of them insisted.
看着那里排列整齐的鲜花,空气中弥漫着甜美的香味,我改变了主意。Looking at the bunches of blooming flowers neatly arranged there, sweet scent filling the air, I changed my mind.
在我同意后,孩子们冲上前去,选了一束漂亮的紫色花,小心翼翼地放进了购物车里。With my consent, the kids rushed forward, chose a bunch of beautiful purple flowers, and carefully placed it into the cart.
不久,我们跳上车,朝威尔逊太太家驶去。孩子们在路上说着,咯咯地笑着,无法抑制他们的兴奋。 Soon we jumped into the car and drove toward Mrs. Wilson’s home. The little ones talked and giggled on the way, unable to hold back their excitement.
With a food box and a bunch of flowers, we finally arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s home.
威尔逊夫人,一个脸色疲惫不堪的个头很小的妇女,走到门口欢迎我们。Mrs. Wilson, a little woman with a weary face, came to the door to welcome us.
她热情好客地把我们领进了她的家。With great hospitality, she led us into her house.
当我们把食物盒拿进去时,她高兴得张大了嘴。 Her mouth was widened with great joy as we carried the food box in.
当一个孩子送给她甜蜜的花朵时,她简直无法掩饰自己的兴奋,泪水在眼睛里闪闪发光。 When one kid sent her the sweet flowers, she simply couldn’t conceal her excitement, tears glittering in her eyes.
她把花捧在鼻子边,似乎又恢复了青春和活力。 Holding the flowers to her nose, she seemed to regain her youth and vigor.
就在那一刻,孩子们发现了他们所拥有的改善他人生活的力量。At that moment, the kids had found the power they possessed to make another life better.
有时,在一个黑暗的十一月的日子里,一束花可以滋养另一个灵魂。Sometimes a bunch of flowers could nourish another soul on a dark November day.
最终自测:
“Flowers may not be as practical as food.” I said. “
“食物会让她一天吃饱肚子,但鲜花会让她高兴几天或更长时间。”其中一个人坚持说。看着那里排列整齐的鲜花,空气中弥漫着甜美的香味,我改变了主意。在我同意后,孩子们冲上前去,选了一束漂亮的紫色花,小心翼翼地放进了购物车里。不久,我们跳上车,朝威尔逊太太家驶去。孩子们在路上说着,咯咯地笑着,无法抑制他们的兴奋。
With a food box and a bunch of flowers, we finally arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s home.
威尔逊夫人,一个脸色疲惫不堪的个头很小的妇女,走到门口欢迎我们。她热情好客地把我们领进了她的家。当我们把食物盒拿进去时,她高兴得张大了嘴。 当一个孩子送给她甜蜜的花朵时,她简直无法掩饰自己的兴奋,泪水在眼睛里闪闪发光。她把花捧在鼻子边,似乎又恢复了青春和活力。就在那一刻,孩子们发现了他们所拥有的改善他人生活的力量。有时,在一个黑暗的十一月的日子里,一束花可以滋养另一个灵魂。
读后续写评分标准
1. 评分原则:本题总分为25分,按5个档次给分。给分公平、公正;宽严并济,不能过严或过松;得分有理,扣分有据。
2. 评分标准:立意积极、情节合理、语言水平及风格(语言风格与前文一致)、书写美观。词数少于130多于170的,从总分中扣2分;书写及卷面较差影响阅读的降档处理
3. 各档次的给分范围和要求
档次 描述
第五档 (21—25) 与所给短文融洽度高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接合理。 内容丰富。 所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第四档 (16—20) 与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接较为合理。 内容比较丰富。 所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。 比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写的短文结构紧凑。
第三档 (10—15) 与所给短文关系较为密切,与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。 写出了若干有关内容。 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求,虽有一些错误,但不影响意义表达。 应用简单的语句间连接成分,使全文内容连贯。
第二档 (6—10) 与所给短文有一定的关系,与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。 写出了一些有关内容。 语法结构单调,词汇项目有限,有些语法结构和词汇方面的错误,影响了意义的表达。 较少使用语句间的连接成分,全文内容缺少连贯性。
第一档 (1—5) 与所提供短文和开头语的衔接较差。 产出内容较少。 语法结构单调,词汇项目很有限,有较多语法结构和词汇方面的错误,严重影响了意义的表达。 缺乏语句间的连接成分,全文内容不连贯。
0 白卷、内容太少无法评判或所写内容与所提供内容无关或抄袭。

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