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高中作文/读后续写真题解读+写作构思+高分范文点拨
一、链接真题训练，解读叙事元素和结构。
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
【2023年全国新高考I卷 】
When I was in middle school my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest, I said no without thinking. I did not love writing. My family came from Brazil, so English was only my second language. Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts. No one laughed harder than he did. So, why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail His reply:
"Because I love your stories. If you're willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this." Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.I chose Paul Revere's horse as my subject. Paul Revere was a silversmith (银匠) in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18, 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming. My story would come straight from the horse's mouth. Not a brilliant idea, but funny, and unlikely to be anyone else's choice. What did the horse think, as sped through the night Did he get tired Have doubts Did he want to quit I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit. But, like revere's horse, I kept going. I worked hard. I cheeked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half-dozen books on paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them. When I handed in the essay to my teacher, he read it, laughed out loud and said, "Great. Now, write it again." I wrote it again, and again and again. When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing. If I didn't win.I wouldn't care.
注意：1.续写词数应为150个左右：2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.________
I went to my teacher' office after the award presentation.___________
译文：
当我在中学的时候，我的社会学老师让我参加一个写作比赛，我想都没想就拒绝了。我不喜欢写作。我的家庭来自巴西，所以英语只是我的第二语言。写作对我来说是如此困难和痛苦，我的老师允许我通过表演一出戏来展示我关于泰坦尼克号沉没的论文，在戏里我扮演了所有的角色。没有人比他笑得更厉害了。那他为什么突然强迫我做这样的事呢？我肯定会失败的。
他的回答：“因为我喜欢你的故事。如果你愿意努力，我认为你很有可能获得这份工作。”受到他的话的鼓舞，我同意试一试。我选择保罗 里维尔的马作为我的主题。保罗 里维尔是波士顿的一名银匠（银匠）。1775年4月18日晚上，他骑马前往列克星敦，警告人们英国士兵要来了。我的故事将直接由马来叙述。这不是个好主意，但很有趣，不太可能是别人的选择。马在黑夜中疾驰时在想什么呢？他累了吗？有疑问吗？他想辞职吗？我表示同情。我累了。我有过怀疑。我想辞职。但是，就像里维尔的马一样，我还是继续前行。我工作十分努力。我检查了我的拼写。我请姐姐纠正我的语法。我还从图书馆借了六本关于保罗 里维尔的书。我甚至读了一些。当我把文章交给老师时，他读了后大笑着说：“太好了。现在，再写一遍。”我写了一遍又一遍。当我终于写完时，获胜的念头已经让位于写作的乐趣。如果我没赢，我也不在乎了。
故事背景一般包括时间、地点、天气和环境等，这些背景信息有助于我们更好地了解事件的经过和发展，而随着故事的展开，我们开始掌握了文章的情节设定。故事的冲突在于老师让我参加一个写作比赛，而我自认为自己没那个本事。
了解了故事冲突和问题所在可以帮助我们更好地进行续写：通过解决问题，化解冲突，可以使续写情节自然流畅，与原文的融合度更高。
叙事元素和结构 故事背景 A writing competition. I did not love writing.
人物 My social studies teacher,I
悬念 My social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest, I said no without thinking. He force me to do something at which I was sure to fail.
铺垫 Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try. I wanted to quit. But, like revere's horse, I kept going. When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.
二、搭建写作支架，通过“点一线一面”的方式构思文章结构。
为了构建一个写作框架，我们可以关注两条主线：情节线（明线）和情感线（明线一暗线）。情节线属于明线，可以从文本中获得这些信息。情感线则是由明到暗，对故事情节的发展需要进行合理的推测。接下来我们需要搭建内容和语言框架，在内容动态变化中、丰富语境中使内容表达与语言使用同步发生；最后从两个段首句开始写作，并有层次地设置问题，挖掘出文本的内涵。具体分析详见下图：
①情节线 (明线：角色行为) Teacher: * asked me to enter a writing contest * force me to do something at which I was sure to fail--act out a play * encourage me * ask me to write again and again I: *refuse the request(enter a writing contest) * encouraged by the teacher’s words,decide to have a try *choose a subject and keep working on it
②情感线 （暗线：角色状态） Teacher: 笑得比别人都大声——鼓励我，表示喜欢我的故事，相信我能做好——一遍遍磨砺我——？ I: 不开心（被强制要求参加写作比赛）——担忧（自己英语不好，怕被嘲笑）——犹豫不决（试一试，但不知道结果会怎样）——开心（获胜的念头已经让位于写作的乐趣）——？
第一段 A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news. Q1: What’s the new good or bad →Q2: How was I feeling then Q3: Why I can win the prize
第二段 I went to my teacher' office after the award presentation. Q1: What did I say to my teacher →Q2: What reason did my teacher explain for my winning →Q3: How was I feeling then
三、点评高分范文，点拨关键技巧。
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.
Completely out of my expectation, I won the first prize in the contest. My sister patted on my shoulder gently, smiled and said, "You deserve it. Now let's go and get the award." During the award presentation, the school hall was filled with the crowds.
The moment the host called out my name, I stepped onto the stage, with my legs trembling. Memories about Revere's horse flooded over my mind, I was overwhelmed by curiosity and confusion. "How could such a funny story win the first prize " I asked myself softly.
I went to my teacher's office after the award presentation. I expressed my gratitude and my confusion to him. Hearing my words, he gave me a toothy smile which made me relaxed. Then he explained in a gentle voice, "Through your essay, all judges found the horse hard-working, patient, and never give up, which is just like you. What's more, an essay doesn't need to be serious, it needs to be creative, and your essay reached the standard." His words deeply touched me. It is true that I can keep passionate about writing with my imagination
本篇习作情节设计合理且有创新，语言表达准确且丰富，内容描述生动具体，语句衔接连贯顺畅，思想主题明确且得到了升华。续写部分把握了以下几个关键点：
1、准确把握角色特征：展现了真实的人物特征。
2、正确掌控情节方向：本篇习作在故事情节设定方面与原文衔接紧密。
3、具体细化人物行为：对作者的神态、动作及语言的描写，都增强了文章的感染力与真实性。
4、适当拓展文章主题：在续写时，我们培养的是学生对主题的探究能力和创造性思维能力，因此要有意识地将思想升华融入到事件描述中去。我们可以运用“由一及众”、“由事及理”等方法，将文章主题进行升华。

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