2024届高三英语二轮复习读后续写微技能之动作描写(Chain and Scen):课件(共22张PPT)

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2024届高三英语二轮复习读后续写微技能之动作描写(Chain and Scen):课件(共22张PPT)

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(共22张PPT)
Mircro Writing Skills of Continuous Writing
Part 1: Action
(Action Chian/Action Scene)
When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚) a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguins that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures—insights that could aid human survival.
“ We’re thirteen, Tom. It’s time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins,”said Mary as she started cleaning. “They're research animals, not pets.”
“But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You’re just trying to be a penguin whisperer again,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before—there's ice forming on the water,”noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!”
Mary quickly sent a message to their parents' research team, who were conducting outdoor studies. With the adults away, the kids would have to deal with the freezing conditions until help arrived.
Time dragged as Mary and Tom anxiously waited. The increasing cold caused them to shake. “I wonder what emperor penguins do in extreme cold, since they stay in the Pole all winter instead of going somewhere warmer,” asked Mary. “They huddle(挤作一团),” Tom answered. “They huddle together tightly so that the birds in the middle will be warm enough.” “What about the ones on the edge ” Mary asked. “They push their way towards the center, and then move back out to the edge, and struggle back again. Scientists in the early 21st century recorded it.” He replied as he stared at the large crowd of the penguins in the lab.
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.
梳理全文(who/what/how)
人物:科学家后代
事情:观察帝王企鹅
研究企鹅如何适应严寒,以帮助人类生存
Tom与企鹅关系好
问题:温度降低
预示:研究用于生存实践
Mary 向父母发求救信息
问题:在救援来前生存
帝王企鹅如何抗寒
情节设计(文末+两个给定句,逆推)
idea是什么

跟随企鹅抗寒
2024广东一模
When Mary entered the South Pole Penguin Research Lab, she saw her friend Tom gently stroking(轻抚) a penguin in his arms. As children of the lab scientists, Mary and Tom often observed the emperor penguins that were studied to understand how they adapted to extreme temperatures—insights that could aid human survival.
“ We’re thirteen, Tom. It’s time to grow up and stop playing with the lab penguins,”said Mary as she started cleaning. “They're research animals, not pets.”
“But the birds listen to me!” insisted Tom, his breath forming a cloud in the freezing air. “You’re just trying to be a penguin whisperer again,” Mary replied, shaking her head with a gentle smile. The penguins seemed playful as they walked, dove, swam and chased their live fish for sport before eating.
Suddenly, an alarm rang out and red lights flashed, signaling a problem. The kids rushed over to look into it. “It's colder than before—there's ice forming on the water,”noted Tom. Though always cold, Mary had never seen ice here before. She checked the habitat monitor and found that the temperature had gone down a lot. “The heater must be broken!”
Mary quickly sent a message to their parents' research team, who were conducting outdoor studies. With the adults away, the kids would have to deal with the freezing conditions until help arrived.
Time dragged as Mary and Tom anxiously waited. The increasing cold caused them to shake. “I wonder what emperor penguins do in extreme cold, since they stay in the Pole all winter instead of going somewhere warmer,” asked Mary. “They huddle(挤作一团),” Tom answered. “They huddle together tightly so that the birds in the middle will be warm enough.” “What about the ones on the edge ” Mary asked. “They push their way towards the center, and then move back out to the edge, and struggle back again. Scientists in the early 21st century recorded it.” He replied as he stared at the large crowd of the penguins in the lab.
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.
梳理全文(who/what/how)
人物:科学家后代
事情:观察帝王企鹅
研究企鹅如何适应严寒,以帮助人类生存
Tom与企鹅关系好
问题:温度降低
预示:研究用于生存实践
Mary 向父母发求救信息
问题:在救援来前生存
帝王企鹅如何抗寒
parents’ action

孩子回应(解释)

结局
情节设计(文末+两个给定句,逆推)
2024广东一模
情节设计(两段十句、十句五定)
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.





先大概,再扩写
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.





idea:Tom建议加入企鹅群
Tom和Mary从edge挤回中心,再退回,再挤进,如此反复
父母:冲进去、找孩子、大喊
M担心企鹅不同意,但是被T的自信微笑说服
T靠近企鹅群,蹲下,轻抚和whisper(原文)
企鹅认出T,接收俩加入
父母:发现孩子被企鹅围绕
孩子:解释学习帝王企鹅做法
孩子/父母:称赞Tom, real penguin whisperer
T(&M)感慨:向动物学习,是企鹅的团队协作方法救了他们
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly. He suggested joining the penguin huddles. Mary hesitated but soon agreed because she saw Tom came close to the crowded penguins, whispering softly. The penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group. Mary quickly followed. The children finally joined the penguins. They moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. They were surprised. The children were safe. When asked how they stayed warm, they told their parents“We copied what the emperor penguins do,” . Mary admitted Tom as a penguin whisperer. Tom gave credit to(给予认可) the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins' aid.
advantages:情节正确,全文内容连贯。
disadvantages:故事的细节描写不够饱满,文章可读性不强。
解决事情的故事:动作尤为重要
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly.
He suggested joining the penguin huddles.
Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles
Mary hesitated but soon agreed because she saw Tom came close to the crowded penguins, whispering softly.
Worried that the penguins wouldn't let them, Mary hesitated but was soon persuaded by Tom's assuring grin.
The penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group.
He slowly approached the crowded penguins,crouching down.
Gently stroking them with care, he whispered softly.
Though startled at first,the penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group.
解决事情的故事:动作尤为重要
他张开双臂,提议加入企鹅群(现在分词作状语)
玛丽担心企鹅不会让他们进去,犹豫了一下,但很快就被汤姆安慰的咧嘴笑说服了。(过去分词作状语,并列句)
他慢慢地靠近拥挤的企鹅群,蹲下身子。(现在分词作状语)
他轻轻地抚摸(v.安抚)它们,轻声细语。(现在分词作状语)
企鹅们虽然一开始很吃惊,但还是认出了汤姆,让他加入了他们的群体。
Mary quickly followed.
The children finally joined the penguins.
The children squeezed into the huddle's edge with the penguins.
They moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Just as the birds did, they moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
解决事情的故事:动作尤为重要
孩子们挤进企鹅群的边缘。
就像企鹅一样,它们会向中间移动,并随着群体的移动而后退。
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly. Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles(n.挤成一团). Worried that the penguins wouldn't let them, Mary hesitated but was soon persuaded by Tom's assuring(肯定的) grin(n.咧嘴笑). He slowly approached the crowded penguins,crouching down(蹲下,弯下身子). Gently stroking(v.安抚) them with care, he whispered softly. Though startled(被吓一跳的adj.) at first,the penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group. Mary quickly followed. The children squeezed into the huddle's edge with the penguins. Just as the birds did, they moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help.
They were surprised.
Rushing in calling for the kids,they were surprised.
The children were safe.
The children were safely surrounded by penguins in a large bundle.
When asked how they stayed warm, they told their parents“We copied what the emperor penguins do,” .
When asked how they stayed warm, the kids looked at each other proudly.
“We copied what the emperor penguins do,” they told their parents.
Mary admitted Tom as a penguin whisperer.
Mary patted Tom's shoulder with admiration,calling him a penguin whisperer.
Tom gave credit to(给予认可) the penguins who taught them a lot.
Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins' aid.
解决事情的故事:动作尤为重要
冲进去叫孩子们时,他们很惊讶。(现在分词作状语)
孩子们很安全地被企鹅团团围住。
当被问及如何保持温暖时,孩子们自豪地面面相觑。(过去分词作状语)
“我们模仿了帝企鹅的行为,”他们告诉父母
玛丽赞赏地拍了拍汤姆的肩膀,称他为企鹅语者。(现在分词作状语)
带着大大的微笑
With a big smile,
“I have an idea to stay warm!” Tom shouted excitedly. Spreading his arms, he suggested joining the penguin huddles(n.挤成一团). Worried that the penguins wouldn't let them, Mary hesitated but was soon persuaded by Tom's assuring(肯定的) grin(n.咧嘴笑). He slowly approached the crowded penguins,crouching down(蹲下,弯下身子). Gently stroking(v.安抚) them with care, he whispered softly. Though startled(被吓一跳的adj.) at first,the penguins recognized Tom and let him into their group. Mary quickly followed. The children squeezed into the huddle's edge with the penguins. Just as the birds did, they moved toward the middle and back out as the group shifted.
Two and a half hours later, the parents returned with help. Rushing in calling for the kids,they were surprised. The children were safely surrounded by penguins in a large bundle(一捆,一束). When asked how they stayed warm, the kids looked at each other proudly. “We copied what the emperor penguins do,” they told their parents. Mary patted Tom's shoulder with admiration,calling him a penguin whisperer(企鹅语者). With a big smile, Tom gave credit to(给予认可) the penguins who taught them a lot. Their teamwork had seen them through the difficult cold with the penguins' aid.
动作描写思路
方法一:构造“动作链”(Action Chain)
E.g ①得知妈妈不给她参加绘画比赛,她很生气。
怒吼→
抓起绘画作品→
撕成两半
记叙文就像拍电影,所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。
“动作链”结构1:A,B and C
低配版:She was very angry.
中配版:She was very angry and ran away.
高配版:
“I hate you,” she roared, grabbed the painting on the table, and tore it in half.
E.g ②发表获奖感言,感谢吞吞。
看了一眼奖杯→
深吸一口气→
说道:“谢谢吞吞!”
She glanced at the trophy, took a deep breath and said, “ Thank TUNTUN!”
动作描写思路
方法一:构造“动作链”(Action Chain)
E.g ③听了Mac的经历后,他们惊呆了。
听到经历后→
他们僵住了
记叙文就像拍电影,所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。
“动作链”结构2:Having done/After doing, 主句
低配版:they were shocked.
中配版:
After hearing Mac’s experience, they froze.
【“动作链”使用范例】
(1) 当我从高处俯瞰那只熊时,我惊讶地发现这个固执的家伙压碎了栅栏,朝我们的营地走去,准备享用诱人的蒜蓉面包。
While overlooking the bear from above, I was amazed to spot this stubborn guy had crushed the fence and headed towards our camp for the inviting garlic bread.
【“动作链”使用范例】
(2) 他一跃而起,飞快地跑了起来。
(3)他把手伸进口袋,掏出一些零钱。
(4) 她一动不动地站着,听着它的歌声,直到它唱完,飞走了。
He jumped to his feet and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.
He slid his hands into his pockets and pulled out some change.
She stood very still, listening to its song until it finished and flew away.
动作描写思路
方法一:构造“动作链”(Action Chain)
E.g ③听了Mac的经历后,他们惊呆了。
听到经历后→
他们僵住了
记叙文就像拍电影,所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。
“动作链”结构2:Having done/After doing, 主句
低配版:they were shocked.
中配版:
After hearing Mac’s experience, they froze.
嘴巴张开,手在颤抖
高配版:
听到经历后→
他们僵住了→
After hearing Mac’s experience, they froze, their mouth hanging open and their hands trembling[独立主格结构].
方法二:构造“动作面”(Action Scene)
动作描写思路
方法二:构造“动作面”(Action Scene)
E.g ④黄昏下站着一对恋人。
在同一个场景,安排多个角度观看,然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起,构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情,肢体动作,语言角度,心理活动等编制。构造动作面时,非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。
“动作面”结构1:Doing, 主句, doing
多个角度进行描写:他们站在空旷的路边(肢体动作),他们仰望着天空(面部表情),感受着这份珍贵的平静(心理活动)。
Standing beside the empty road, they looked up into the sky, feeling the precious peace from within.
动作描写思路
方法二:构造“动作面”(Action Scene)
E.g ④一段雨中跳舞的场景。
在同一个场景,安排多个角度观看,然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起,构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情,肢体动作,语言角度,心理活动等编制。构造动作面时,非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。
“动作面”结构2:主句,doing...and doing...
多个角度进行描写:他欣喜若狂(心理活动),在雨中又唱又跳(肢体动作)。
He was overwhelmed with joy, singing and dancing in the rain.
动作描写思路
方法二:构造“动作面”(Action Scene)
E.g ④Lucy举手回答问题。
在同一个场景,安排多个角度观看,然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起,构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情,肢体动作,语言角度,心理活动等编制。构造动作面时,非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。
“动作面”结构3:Done,主句,doing...
多个角度进行描写:被老师的话所鼓舞(心理活动),Lucy举起了手(肢体动作),小声说:“我来。”(语言角度)。
Encouraged by the teacher’s words, Lucy raised her hand, whispering, “I’ll do it.”
动作描写思路
方法二:构造“动作面”(Action Scene)
E.g ⑤贝贝思考自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫。
在同一个场景,安排多个角度观看,然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起,构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情,肢体动作,语言角度,心理活动等编制。构造动作面时,非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。
“动作面”结构4:(With)... doing/done,主句,doing...
多个角度进行描写:贝贝坐在泳池边(肢体动作),双臂低垂(肢体动作),思考自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫(心理活动)。
(With)his arms drooping, BeiBei sat beside the pool, wondering whether he was white or black.
with复合结构/独立主格结构
【“动作面”使用范例】
(1) 他不停地奔跑,直到他看见远处有一道闪光,迅速地向他靠近。
(2)爷爷拍拍我的头,笑着对我说,他会一直陪着我。
(3) 听到这消息后,他们静静地坐着,陷入深思。(《小王子》)
(4)玛丽深吸了一口气,推开门走了进去。(《秘密花园》)
He didn’t stop running until he saw a flash of light at a distance, moving quickly towards him.
My grandfather patted my head and smiled at me, saying that he would always be with me.
After hearing the news, they sat in a quiet, reflective silence.
Taking a deep breath, Mary pushed open the door and stepped inside.
2024深圳一模
梳理全文(who/what/how)
人物:Ashley&I
事情:A对校报读者人数下降感到不满
她认为我校打败D学校篮球队的新闻不够噱头,想用更能吸引人的故事做头版去吸引读者。
学校的吉祥物鹦鹉Perry不见了,大家感到非常伤心
一个学生拍了一张疑似D学校一篮球员偷了Perry的照片
A决定根据这张照片制作新闻,头版就是“D学校偷了Perry”
我细看照片发现时间漏洞,认为我们可能错怪D学校。
我找到Perry的照料者得知P只是退休,因此建议A把新闻头版改成“再见P”
情节设计(两段十句、十句五定)
P1:To my surprise, Ashley insisted on reporting the "Deerfield Stole Perry"story."





先大概,再扩写
P2: On Thursday, the paper came out with the headline "Bye-Bye, Perry"on the front page.





A辩解”D校偷P”的新闻更有吸引力
A被说服了,同意收集更多信息报道新闻“再见了P”
这篇文章成功地引起激烈讨论
我不赞同她的行为
我阐述了不赞成的原因(说谎,对校报影响不好)
A还是犹豫,我强调真实的新闻才是好故事
读者写信表扬,更多学生怀念起Perry的美好
甚至之前拍照怀疑Perry被偷的同学也表扬了我们的专业报道
A找到我,感谢我
A明白到新闻报道的真实性才是最重要的。
Truth
Honesty
Integrity
【小试牛刀】
我不赞成Ashley的做法。
①听了艾希礼的话,我不同意她的指指点点,使劲摇着头。
Having heard Ashley’s words, I disagreed with her points, shaking my head vigorously.
②听着Ashley的话,我皱起眉头然后打断说:“这是不对的。”
Hearing Ashley’s excuses, I frowned and then interrupted “That’s not right”.
Ashley找到我,感谢我。
①她高兴地找到我,笑着说道:“你是对的。真实的故事才能引起共鸣,这才能真正地吸引读者”
She came to me with joy, smiled and said “You’re right. Only true stories can strike a chord, which virtually engages readers.”
②她高兴极了,跑过来迎接我,对我坚持制作真实故事表示感谢。
Overwhelmed with joy, she came running to greet me and conveyed her gratitude towards my insistance on making genuien story.
To my surprise, Ashley insisted on reporting the "Deerfield Stole Perry"story." Having heard Ashley’s words, I felt a desperate need to intervene, shaking my head vigorously(坚决地,大力地), then arguing “That’s not the truth!”. To convince her, I defended that if we wrote this article, we would be telling a lie. Ashley stood in a quiet, reflective silence. Noticing her hesitant expression, I further analyzed the potential harm it would cause to the player and our paper's reputation. After some discussion, Ashley finally gave in. With a deep breath, she made the decision to let go of the eye-catching headline and embrace the path of truth.
On Thursday, the paper came out with the headline "Bye-Bye, Perry"on the front page. Soon, it sparked(引发,点燃) heated discussions among students. Many were disappointed with Perry's sudden departure, but were comforted that he was in good care. The story also evoked(唤起) sweet memories of Perry, making many students request to share their stories of him in our paper! Seeing the story's success, Ashley came to me with joy, smiled and said “You’re right. Only genuien stories can strike a chord, which virtually engages readers.”Hearing this, I felt a surge of pride and warmth welling up from the bottom of my heart. It was moments like this that reassured my choice to be a journalist, to maintain the integrity of the world we live in.

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