资源简介 广东省二模读后续写精讲Step 1:阅读材料- 找出矛盾(要解决的问题),主线情节- 找到主人公的诉求,主线情节- 找到可以点明、反衬、暗示某种品质的句子- 找到值得庆祝、纪念和令人悲伤、后悔的事情- 找到是否有值得主人公反思、牢记的(某个亲人、朋友、同学、老师说的)话,在续写中呼应- 找到是否有值得主人公怀念的情形- 掠过次要情节材料When I was seven years old,my family moved from Mexico to America. In Mexico, I was a cheerful girl who loved making people laugh with my jokes and inventing fun games to play with my friends.However,when I arrived in America,I found it hard to fit in【矛盾、问题所在:难以融入】,and I became quieter.We lived in a small house with a modest yard where we grew vegetables—my responsibility.While I took pride in watching them grow,there were times when I dreamed of having a beautiful garden like my schoolmate Luella's【主人公诉求】,with its delicate tulips (郁金 香).Although Luella lived in the same neighborhood as me,we barely knew each otherIt was after a tornado that Luella and I finally became close friends.【联想:作者想要一个和Luella‘s家花园一样的花园,经过了tornado两个人还成为了好朋友 —— 那么两个人大概率是在花园这件事上互相帮助,或者其中一方帮助了另一方】The tornado struck on a Sunday afternoon.The gentle breeze transformed into a strong wind,and thick gray clouds filled the sky.Gradually,the tornado took shape, starting as a thin rope and growing into a large black funnel(漏斗) .My entire family gathered in the bathroom,seeking shelter from the storm.Terrified,I sat close to my mom,knees in my chest. After the storm had passed,our worries and fears were replaced by relief that we were unharmed and that our house had remained undamaged.【掠过次要情节:灾难前后过程,不重要,因为重点写的是“after tornado两个人如何成为好朋友”】As I stepped outside, I witnessed the extent of the damage the tornado had caused to our neighborhood【是Luella的花园遭受了损失,所以大概率是主人公帮助了Luella】. Across the street,a tall tree had fallen, crushing Luella's garden in front of her yellow house.We hurried over to check on it.Fortunately,her family seemed to be away at the time,and no one was injured. However, her once-beautiful garden was in ruins, with the fallen tree destroying the tulips and debris(碎片)spread everywhere. I could only imagine how heartbroken they must feel seeing this.1.Then my mom's usual words rang in my ear,"It is more blessed to give than to receive,”【值得主人公牢记的话 - 一般需要在续写中呼应 —— 但是考虑到这句话和本文主旨“友谊、互助”没什么关系,所以可以呼应,也可以不呼应 —— 我个人觉得还是不呼应好,不然太刻意了 —— 但如果真的点了,写通顺也可以】and my family started to think about how we could help.Just at that moment,Luella's family returned in their car.Even after the debris was cleared,I could still sense Luella's sorrow for her lost garden.Step 2:分析续写两句话1.第二段第一句“after the debris was cleared”,说明第一段“我”帮助了Luella’s family清理院子2.第一段,Luella回来之后看到什么?心情如何?看到的是残破不堪,感到震惊、难过、悲伤类似(如果没有描写Luella看到的景象和感受,我认为是不合理的)3.第一段,“我”看到Luella的反应,我又是什么表现?应该是同情、安慰4.第一段,但是我又因为没有fit in而感到害羞,所以我不可能一下子就主动上去帮忙5.第一段,我们是怎么帮助他们的呢?可以是妈妈先去,然后我受到了鼓舞之后再去6.第二段,要以“我和Luella成为好朋友”“我成功fit in”为最终目标,至于“It is more blessed to give than to receive”,我觉得可点可不点,因为这句话和全文主旨“友谊、互助”没什么关系7.第二段,我怎么鼓励Luella并和她成为了好朋友呢?我主动提出和她一起种花,培育植物和友谊Step 3:设计两段情节第一段:1.Leulla一家开始收拾废墟Luella满脸震惊、难过2.妈妈走过去,安慰、拥抱他们3.我受到了鼓舞,也加入他们。并和Luella在合作中交流4.描写清理打扫的过程第二段:1.环境描写:破败不堪的景象2.我提出和她一起种花3.Luella现出笑容4.我们不仅在培育花草,还在培育友谊5.这个花园是我们友谊的见证Step 4:写作第一段:Just at that moment, Luella's family returned in their car. Their were shocked and saddened by the scene where there were ruins and broken branches everywhere. As they surveyed the wreckage(残骸), Luella wept and groaned(叹息). Before I could do something, my mother approached them, comforting them and giving them a warm embrace. Inspired by her example, I bashfully(害羞地) came forward to Luella and offered to help. She looked at me, with affection in her eyes, and nodded. Together, we picked up fallen branches and flowers, clearing the destroyed flowerbeds.第二段:Even after the debris was cleared, I could still sense Luella's sorrow for her lost garden. The empty space where tulips and other flowers once flourished seemed badly hurt. As the sun shines again, I invited Luella to join me in planting new flowers in both our yards. With each seed planted, her smile slowly returned. What we nurtured was not only new gardens but our friendship. The garden we rebuilt wasn't just a place giving off cents. it was a witness to how we shared hardship and cultivated friendship. 展开更多...... 收起↑ 资源预览