资源简介

24深圳二模应用文写作的“新”与“旧”
2024深圳二模应用文写作的“新”与“旧”作文图表遗漏，请参考深圳二模试卷原稿
第四部分 写作 (共两节，满分40分)
第一节 (满分15分)
假定你是李华，你班在校英语戏剧节中获得一等奖，外教James打算为此庆祝，并委托你调查同学们喜欢的方式。请你根据调查结果，给外教写一封邮件，内容包括：
1.表达感谢;
2.提出个人建议；
3.说明理由。
注意：
1. 词数 80左右;
2.请在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Dear James,
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
一、题源分析
从描述来看，图表的呈现和描述可追溯到2020的江苏老高考；但命题的情景更加具体化，需要有礼节性用语，更要依据“Findings on Preferred Celebration Activities”提出个人切合实际的建议，并辅以支撑的理由。
二、审题层次
1. 单向的表达感谢及理由；（段一）
2. 扼要的图表调查结果描述；（段二）
3. 个人抽取其中一项或多项推荐给外教James;（段二）
4. 并对推荐项目辅以理由；（段二）
5. 礼貌性收尾和回扣首段。（段三）
三、新与旧
这一篇应用文的命题具有以下几个新颖之处：
1. 情景交融：命题将情景设置为实际的学校活动，这使得学生能够更好地融入情境，激发他们的写作热情。
2. 调查数据的引入：通过提供一个具体的调查结果图表，要求学生在写作中引用数据，这不仅考查了学生对数据的理解和分析能力，也提高了写作的逻辑性和说服力。
3. 建议与理由结合：学生不仅要提出个人建议，还要说明理由，这要求学生在写作中展现批判性思维和论证能力。
4. 多选项的考虑：命题提供了三种不同的庆祝方式，要求学生在考虑大多数人意见的同时，也要展示个人判断和偏好，这种多维度的思考对写作提出了更高的要求。
5. 互动性增强：命题模拟了一个真实的交流场景，即学生与外教之间的沟通，这种互动性的写作任务更贴近实际生活。
6. 语言的多样性：命题要求学生使用多样的语言表达形式，包括感谢、建议、理由说明等，这考查了学生对不同语言功能的掌握。
所谓旧，是指图表的引用，语言的严谨，层次的逻辑等，但这是应用文不变的元素。
四、语言知识，表达能力，句式呈现
1.表示感谢
1.1 I am writing to express our heartfelt gratitude for your intention to celebrate our class’s first prize win at the school’s English Drama Festival. It is a moment of pride for all of us, and your support means a lot.
1.2 Thank you for trusting me with the task of surveying our classmates’ preferred activities to celebrate our success at the English Drama Festival. Here are the survey findings along with my personal opinion.
1.3 It’s my honor to extend our heartfelt thanks for your generous offer to celebrate our success. Your support and enthusiasm are truly inspiring.
2.描述图表
2.1 Based on the survey I conducted, 88% of us are enthusiastic about a weekend outing, while 59% favour an English movie night, followed by 32% who prefer a food party.
2.2 The ‘outing at weekends’ was the top choice for celebration, favored by a significant majority with 88% of the votes. Sharing food and drinks came in second, preferred by 32%, while watching English movies attracted the least interest at 59%.
2.3 The survey reveals that 88% of students are keen on celebrating with a weekend outing. Sharing food and drinks also found favor, accounting for 59%. On the other hand, watching English movies fell behind, with only 32% of the votes.
2.4 From the survey, outings on weekends and English movie nights are favored by 88% and 59% of us respectively, with 32% keen on sharing food and drinks.
3.建议+理由
3.1 My suggestion is in line with the desire of many to engage in a more active and outdoor activity, which would serve as a refreshing break from our academic routine. Moreover, an outing allows us to relax and celebrate our success in a way that is both healthy and inclusive, accommodating a variety of interests and preferences.
3.2 I would opt for the "outing at weekends" as the celebration method due to its overwhelming popularity and the opportunity it presents for fostering camaraderie and creating lasting memories among students. Additionally, it offers a chance for relaxation and personal interaction, which can be both refreshing and educational.
3.3 My preference agrees with the majority, so I suggest a hiking trip along the nearby greenway, which has lively plants and stunning views. Such an outing is perfect for us to take a break from study routines, strengthen friendship and make our success more memorable.
4.礼貌回扣
4.1 I eagerly await your thoughts on this suggestion and look forward to celebrating our victory together.
4.2 Thanks again for your thoughtful gesture. Looking forward to our exciting celebration!
4.3 I’ll appreciate it if you can take my suggestion into account.
4.4 I am confident that an outing will not only be a delightful experience but also a meaningful way to celebrate our success. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this proposal.
官方范文：
Dear James,
I hope this email finds you well. We are grateful for your enthusiasm in celebrating our class winning the first prize at the English Drama Festival. Your support means a lot to us!
Based on the survey I conducted, 88% of us are enthusiastic about a weekend outing, while 59% favour an English movie night, followed by 32% who prefer a food party. My preference is in line with the majority, so I suggest a hiking trip along the nearby greenway, which has lively plants and stunning views. Such an outing is perfect for us to take a break from study routines, strengthen friendship and make our success more memorable.
Thanks again for your thoughtful gesture. Looking forward to our exciting celebration!
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua

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