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【读后续写】微技能进行多维度衔接&动作神态描写之后悔心理篇
进行多维度衔接
01 与原文的逻辑衔接
一篇好的文章不仅需要丰富的内容、巧妙的构思和规范的表达，还需要具备把这些内容联系起来的语篇衔接手段。衔接是一种使上下文之间取得连接与过渡的写作技法，主要作用是使得文章保持意义上的连贯。本期我们将关注与原文的逻辑衔接。
与原文的逻辑衔接一方面包括与原文中以文字形式直接表露的信息的衔接，另一方面也包括与通过原文推测出的隐含信息的衔接。
02 案例解析
In 1998, I was in my junior year of high school. School lunches were broken up into four periods, each lasting thirty minutes, to accommodate the nearly 1,600 students in my school.
Some kids brought lunch, and for those of us that bought lunch at school, we were given trays (盘子) to carry our food on them. The use of a tray led to a $0.25 deposit (押金) in total. If I bought $5.00 worth of food, I would actually pay $5.25 with that extra 25 cents for the tray. The idea here was to encourage students to clean up trays by themselves, take their garbage to a nearby trash can, and then return the trays to the Quarter Lady, an old lady who was in her late sixties or early seventies.
I didn’t know if any of us actually knew her real name; she was just referred to as the Quarter Lady because she would take the empty and clean tray — the tray couldn’t have gobs (块) of food stuck to it or garbage on it — and then hand you a quarter for returning the tray to her.
During the lunch period, some students who came from poor families would make some money by going from table to table and offering to return other people’s trays and clearing garbage for them. Most other students didn’t mind that they returned trays back to earn a few bucks to buy lunch.
I had a best friend called Jimmy, who came from a wealthy family. He always asked the students to help him return the tray. He told me he thought it was a great way to help those from poor families.
One day, Jimmy started asking everyone if he could return their trays. _______________________
Later a friend told me that Jimmy had been returning trays so that he could make a donation to the Quarter Lady. _______________________
【不当案例】
One day, Jimmy started asking everyone if he could return their trays. We all gave the trays to him happily. I helped him to clear the garbage and carry the trays to the tray return location. Later, we found the Quarter Lady was no longer standing at the tray return location to hand out quarters at all. Another worker had taken the place of her. Word got around that the Quarter Lady had got a serious disease.
Later a friend told me that Jimmy had been returning trays so that he could make a donation to the Quarter Lady. I was inspired by his behaviour and decided to follow his example. I began to offer to return trays for my schoolmates. In addition, I put a donation box beside the tray return location to encourage others to donate their change to the lady. Finally, I raised $15,000 and we all hoped that the lady would recover soon.
续写第一段中的“We all gave the trays to him happily. I helped him to clear the garbage and carry the trays to the tray return location.”与原文衔接不当。
【案例解析】
本段讲述了吉米开始询问同学们他是否可以帮他们归还盘子。“我们”都开心地把盘子给了他。“我”还帮他清理了食物残渣，把盘子放到归还盘子的地方。后来作者发现Quarter Lady不再站在归还盘子的地方了，另一个工作人员代替了她。据说她得了一种严重的病。
案例关键情节描写到位，（QuarterLady不再站在归还盘子的地方了，另一个工作人员代替了她。据说她得了一种严重的病。）这与第二段的首句呼应。不足的一点是与原文衔接不当。由原文的最后一段可知，吉米一直是让别人帮忙还盘子的人，所以当吉米主动提出要帮助同学们还盘子时，同学们的反应不应该是很开心地把盘子给他。这与原文最后一段衔接不当。
【即刻修改】
One day, Jimmy started asking everyone if he could return their trays. We were all confused and surprised by his behaviour. I asked him whether his family had met difficulties. He just said no. Anyway, as his best friend, I helped him to clear the garbage and carry the trays to the tray return location. Later, we found the Quarter Lady was no longer standing at the tray return location to hand out quarters at all. Another worker had taken the place of her. Word got around that the Quarter Lady had got a serious disease and her family was poor.
动作神态描写之后悔心理篇
01 词语及表达积累
regretv. regret doing sth. / (deeply) regret that …n. (much) to one’s regret / with great regret / have no regrets
regretfulwith regretful eyes / be regretful for sth. / a regretful goodbye
sorrybe sorry about sth. / be sorry to do sth. / be sorry that …
02 句的积累：
1. I now regret saying what I said.
2. I stood there, with regretful tears in my eyes.
3. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag.
4. If I had followed Tom and not quarrelled with him, I wouldn’t have got lost.
03 牛刀小试——句子翻译
要是我没有单独离开农场就好了！(if only)
我被他所做的事深深地感动了，泪水止不住地流下来。(并列句句型)
3. 她发出后悔的喊声，“我真傻。” (a cry of regret)
简感到害怕，她坐在一棵树旁，用双臂紧紧地抱着肩膀。(现在分词短语作状语)
5. 小女孩紧闭双眼，双手捂着脸。(独立主格结构)
参考答案
If only I had not left the farm alone!
I was deeply moved by what he had done, and tears rolled down without control.
She let out a cry of regret, “I’m so silly.”
Feeling scared, Jane sat beside a tree and held her shoulders in her arms tightly.
5. The little girl closed her eyes tightly, her hands covering her face.

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