资源简介

(共33张PPT)
Continuation Writing
A Four-legged Guardian Angel
讲评课
Lead-in
How much do you know about Great Dane
大丹犬曾被欧洲王室及贵族饲养
头大而窄长，毛呈黄褐、虎斑、蓝色，黑色和黑白花色等
外表高贵优雅，体型大，肌肉丰满，强壮有力
Lead-in
What qualities do dogs have according to commen sense
loyal 忠诚的
brave 勇敢的
human 通人性的
vigilant 警觉的
...
friendly 友好的
Language Accumulation
1. Snow had just melted off the ground that April day at our house in Regina Beach, Saskatchewan. I had just cleaned up the pool in preparation for selling the house. The year before, I had lost my job with the provincial government, and now our financial situation was grim. In despair, I had finally put the home on the market, and a real estate agent was due to show up later that day. Even worse, I would have to give up my beloved Great Dane (大丹犬), Brigitte, because I could no longer afford the cost of feeding it. The thought of losing the dog and our beautiful home was almost more than I could bear.
melt off 融化
为了...而做准备
严峻的
房地产经纪人
更糟糕的是
出现；露面
绝望地
钟爱的
负担...的费用
Language Accumulation
2. Deep in despair, I sat typing up resumes and cover letters. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my thirteen-month-old son, Forrest, as he lay on the carpet, playing near our big, gentle nanny-dog, Brigitte. It seemed as if Brigitte was always meant to be in this family and she turned out to be a perfect companion.
在深深的绝望中
将简历打成定稿
求职信
type v.打字 resume 简历
从我眼睛的余光看出去
be meant to be/do sth.
注定是...
注定做...
Language Accumulation
3. Brigitte came to our house on Christmas eve when the doorbell rang and I was sure some of my Christmas packages had arrived. I ran to the door and swung it open, but no one was there. I sensed something and looked down, only to find a beautiful Great Dane sitting there, looking up at me with big, intelligent eyes. There was no way that she could have rung the doorbell by herself, was there Perhaps, someone had found the puppy somewhere and left her there, and then rang the doorbell and ran away. They accurately guessed I would welcome an additional family member and take care of her.
There is no way that...不可能...
Language Accumulation
4. Thinking of these, I couldn’t help heaving a sigh and went straight back to work. However, I hadn’t typed more than two sentences when Brigitte began barking furiously and running back and forth to the sliding glass door overlooking our pool.
5. I raced to see what was happening and noticed that the sliding door was slightly open. Suddenly, I realized Forrest was nowhere to be seen. In panic, I opened the door and ran outside.
Para 1: There I was surprised to see Brigitte, who was terrified of water, dive into the pool.
Para 2: Finally, the doctor said Forrest was all right and could be released from hospital.
情不自禁叹气
heave v. 发出（叹息）
猛烈地，狂怒地
来来回回地跑
移动玻璃门
be nowhere to be seen 无处可见
惊恐地，惊慌地
出院
be admitted into hospital 住院
Reading——浅层信息理解
体裁：
人称：
主体时态：
主题语境：
记叙文
第一人称
一般过去时
人与自我之做人与做事
story
who
where
I
Brigitte
Forrest
at our house
what
cleaned up the pool in preparation for selling the house
when
why
how
April day
on Christmas eve
I lost my job
Our financial situation was grim
Reading——深层信息理解——理清故事发展线索How
Snow had just melted off the ground that April day at our house in Regina Beach, Saskatchewan. I had just cleaned up the pool in preparation for selling the house. The year before, I had lost my job with the provincial government, and now our financial situation was grim. In despair, I had finally put the home on the market, and a real estate agent was due to show up later that day. Even worse, I would have to give up my beloved Great Dane（大丹犬）,Brigitte, because I could no longer afford the cost of feeding it. The thought of losing the dog and our beautiful home was almost more than I could bear.
Deep in despair, I sat typing up resumes and cover letters. Out of the comer of my eye I could see my thirteen-month-old son, Forrest, as he lay on the carpet, playing near our big, gentle nanny-dog, Brigitte. It seemed as if Brigitte was always meant to be in this family and she turned out to be a perfect companion.
Brigitte came to our house on Christmas eve when the doorbell rang and I was sure some of my Christmas packages had arrived. I ran to the door and swung it open, but no one was there. I sensed something and looked down, only to find a beautiful Great Dane sitting there, looking up at me with big, intelligent eyes. There was no way that she could have rung the doorbell by herself, was there Perhaps, someone had found the puppy somewhere and left her there, and then rang the doorbell and ran away. They accurately guessed I would welcome an additional family member and take care of her.
Thinking of these, I couldn’t help heaving a sigh and went straight back to work. However, I hadn’t typed more than two sentences when Brigitte began barking furiously and running back and forth to the sliding glass door overlooking our pool.
I raced to see what was happening and noticed that the sliding door was slightly open. Suddenly, I realized Forrest was nowhere to be seen. In panic, I opened the door and ran outside.
Para1: April Day
Para2-3: On Christmas Eve
Para4-5: Went back to work
Time Order
Reading——深层信息理解——理清故事发展线索How
(1) Snow had just melted off the ground that April day at our house in Regina Beach, Saskatchewan. I had just cleaned up the pool in preparation for selling the house. The year before, I had lost my job with the provincial government, and now our financial situation was grim. In despair, I had finally put the home on the market, and a real estate agent was due to show up later that day. Even worse, I would have to give up my beloved Great Dane（大丹犬）,Brigitte, because I could no longer afford the cost of feeding it. The thought of losing the dog and our beautiful home was almost more than I could bear.
(2) Deep in despair, I sat typing up resumes and cover letters. Out of the comer of my eye I could see my thirteen-month-old son, Forrest, as he lay on the carpet, playing near our big, gentle nanny-dog, Brigitte. It seemed as if Brigitte was always meant to be in this family and she turned out to be a perfect companion.
(3) Brigitte came to our house on Christmas eve when the doorbell rang and I was sure some of my Christmas packages had arrived. I ran to the door and swung it open, but no one was there. I sensed something and looked down, only to find a beautiful Great Dane sitting there, looking up at me with big, intelligent eyes. There was no way that she could have rung the doorbell by herself, was there Perhaps, someone had found the puppy somewhere and left her there, and then rang the doorbell and ran away. They accurately guessed I would welcome an additional family member and take care of her.
(4) Thinking of these, I couldn’t help heaving a sigh and went straight back to work. However, I hadn’t typed more than two sentences when Brigitte began barking furiously and running back and forth to the sliding glass door overlooking our pool.
(5) I raced to see what was happening and noticed that the sliding door was slightly open. Suddenly, I realized Forrest was nowhere to be seen. In panic, I opened the door and ran outside.
P1: I would move home and give up Brigitte due to financial situation.
P2: My son, Forrest, played and interacted with Brigitte.
P3: Recalling the origin of Brigitte with much length of the writing.
P4-P5: Leading us to continue the reason why the dog wasn’t given up.
Reading——Basic Information——Characters (who)
the Christmas Witch
Anthony, Christmas Witch’s son, who died in the war
I, a 14-year-old boy, who delivered papers
my mother
Reading——Basic Information——Setting (when、where)
a dark, freezing March morning
the last house of the Christmas Witch
Where
When
Reading——Basic Information——Plot (what、why、how)
What:
Christmas Witch left her Christmas decorations up all year long.
Why:
Her son, Anthony, died in the war.
How
the continuation writing content
Reading——Structure
广东
③ My first day of delivery was a dark, freezing March morning. The sky was just turning pink as I approached the last house on my route...that of the Christmas Witch. I tiptoed up the porch steps and placed the newspaper by the door. Then I quickly turned around. And just then I slipped, and fell down the stairs. I sprained my ankle, unable to walk.
④ The light was on. The door opened. Someone came out. It was the Christmas Witch.
⑤ “Dear me,” said she. “Are you all right ” Speechless, I pointed at my ankle. “Come in; make sure you're okay.” She smiled, not a wicked-witch smile, but a nice smile, like she was concerned. I had no choice. Holding her hand, I got into her house and was placed in a chair." Relax. "She hurried into the kitchen and returned a moment later, handing me a cup of hot tea. “I call your parents.” she said.
⑥ I told her my mother's number as she dialed. She got through, told my mother everything and turned, “Your mother will be here shortly.” “Thank you, Mrs. Wright.” “You're welcome." She sat down across from me, smiling. “You don't have to call me Mrs. Wright; you can call me Christmas Witch.”
⑦ I was a bit embarrassed. “It's alright.” She smiled. “I hear what people say. It doesn't matter.” “You do have lots of decorations,” I said. “I think it's pretty,” she replied. I said, “People think it's... weird.” “They don't understand why I leave up my decorations,” she responded.
⑧ Like most teenagers, I just blurted out the next question. “Why ”
① Every kid in my neighborhood knew about the Christmas Witch. She was an elderly woman who left her Christmas decorations up all year long: a twinkling tree in the living room, a plastic wreath（花环）on the front door, and....
② I was told the decorations were meant to get kids closer to the house so the Christmas Witch could take them. I promised myself I would never go near that place. But when I turned fourteen, I got a newspaper route and discovered I'd have to deliver papers to the Christmas Witch. But my mother just advised me not to worry.
Para. 1-2: Background information
Para. 3-8: The development of the story
Before meeting Christmas Witch
After meeting Christmas Witch
Reading——Detailed Information
Every kid in my neighborhood knew about the Christmas Witch. She was an elderly woman who left her Christmas decorations up all year long: a twinkling tree in the living room, a plastic wreath（花环）on the front door, and....
I was told the decorations were meant to get kids closer to the house so the Christmas Witch could take them. I promised myself I would never go near that place. But when I turned fourteen, I got a newspaper route and discovered I’d have to deliver papers to the Christmas Witch. But my mother just advised me not to worry.
What was my attitude to Christmas Witch according to the background information
Scared/Frightened.
What can you learn from this passive voice （被动语态）
Those awful information was just heard from others but not learnt by myself.
Reading——Detailed Information
My first day of delivery was a dark, freezing March morning. The sky was just turning pink as I approached the last house on my route...that of the Christmas Witch. I tiptoed up the porch steps and placed the newspaper by the door. Then I quickly turned around. And just then I slipped, and fell down the stairs. I sprained my ankle, unable to walk.
What can we infer from it about the author’s feeling
Upset/unwilling.
What can we infer from the movements “tiptoed up”, “quickly turned around”
I wanted to escape the house of Christmas Witch.
I didn’t want to meet Christmas Witch.
以景烘情
动作描写
Reading——Detailed Information
广东
The light was on. The door opened. Someone came out. It was the Christmas Witch.
“Dear me,” said she. “Are you all right ” Speechless, I pointed at my ankle. “Come in; make sure you’re okay.” She smiled, not a wicked-witch smile, but a nice smile, like she was concerned. I had no choice. Holding her hand, I got into her house and was placed in a chair. “Relax.” She hurried into the kitchen and returned a moment later, handing me a cup of hot tea. “I call your parents.” she said.
I told her my mother’s number as she dialed. She got through, told my mother everything and turned, “Your mother will be here shortly.” “Thank you, Mrs. Wright.” “You’re welcome.” She sat down across from me, smiling. “You don’t have to call me Mrs. Wright; you can call me Christmas Witch.”
I was a bit embarrassed. “It’s alright.” She smiled. “I hear what people say. It doesn’t matter.” “You do have lots of decorations,” I said. “I think it’s pretty,” she replied. I said, “People think it’s... weird.” “They don’t understand why I leave up my decorations,” she responded.
Like most teenagers, I just blurted out the next question. “Why ”
What kind of the person was Christmas Witch
语言+表情+动作
Why didn’t I call her Christmas Witch
I changed my mind about her.
Reading——Detailed Information
Impressions before meeting Christmas Witch Impressions after meeting
Christmas Witch
I was told the decorations were meant to get kids closer to the house so the Christmas Witch could take them. She smiled, not a wicked-witch smile, but a nice smile, like she was concerned.
She hurried into the kitchen and returned a moment later, handing me a cup of hot tea.
She sat down across from me, smiling.
......
weird(怪异的), wicked(邪恶的)
considerate, kind-hearted, approachable(平易近人的)
Reading——Plot and Emotion
Beginning
I knew about the Christmas Witch.
I had to deliver papers to her house.
I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle, unable to walk when delivering papers to her home.
I got into her house and was placed in a chair.
I blurted out the next question, “Why ”
scared frightened
unwilling upset
anxious worried
embarrassed
relaxed
curious
Rising Action
Climax
Falling Action
Paragraph 1:
“It was because of my son, Anthony, who died in the war,” said Mrs. Wright.
Paragraph 2:
The doorbell rang and my mother arrived.
Story Mountain
What’s the real reason for leaving her Christmas decorations up all year long
Predict the Plot
Paragraph 1: “It was because of my son, Anthony, who died in the war,” said Mrs. Wright.
How and When did Anthoney die
How was her son connected with the Christmas
After knowing the reason, what was my raction
Paragraph 2: The doorbell rang and my mother arrived.
What did my mother do or say to Mrs. Wright
What did I do or say to Mrs. Wright
What did I learn from the incident
Based on these two sentences, ask yourself some questions to help you design the plot.
If I were author, I would...
Design the Plot(A Possible Version)
Paragraph 1: “It was because of my son, Anthony, who died in the war,” said Mrs. Wright.
How and When did Anthoney die
1. Anthoney was scheduled to come home before Christmas.
2. But three days later after the New Year Eve. Anthoney was killed in a helicopter crash.
How was her son connected with the Christmas
1. My boy called me on New Year’s Eve, telling me to leave up the Christmas decorations.
2. And even though I knew it didn’t change anything, I wouldn’t take down those decorations, even after all these years.
After knowing the reason, what was my raction
Mrs. Wright wasn’t a witch, she was a sad and lonely mother struggling with a terrible loss.
Design the Plot
Paragraph 2: The doorbell rang and my mother arrived.
What did my mother do or say to Mrs. Wright
1. My mother expressed her heartfelt gratitude to Mrs. Wright and said Goodbye.
2. Accompnied by my mother, I went home.
What did I do or say to Mrs. Wright
1. Since then, whenever I delivered newspaper to Mrs. Wright, she smiled, saying how much she enjoyed my visit.
2. Funny, I didn’t think her as the Christmas Witch any more. Instead, I regarded her as a kindhearted mother like my mom.
What did I learn from the incident
Returning home, I promised that I would never judge a person before I knew the truth.
主题升华：少一点评判，多一点理解他人
How can we express shock
To show,
not to tell
To Show, Not to Tell——震惊
I her, with astonishment.
我惊呆了，直瞪着她。
I with shock.
我呆若木鸡。
I was shocked .
我的震惊之情难以言表。
Translate: Anthoney的去世让我震惊得喘不过气来。
The shock of Anthoney’s death took my breath away.
stared at
frozen
stood still
beyond words
facial expression
body language
voice
To Show, Not to Tell——后悔内疚
I felt so ashamed that I could feel .
我如此羞愧，以至于觉得自己的脸在发烧。
I felt so guilty that she could feel .
我如此羞愧，以至于觉得血液往脸上涌。
So ashamed did I feel that .
我羞愧得几乎要哭出来了。
facial expression
my face burning
the blood rushing to my face
I was close to tears
七个“不”
1. 不增加人物
2. 不增加旁支情节
3. 不用过多对话
4. 不用负能量结局
5. 不在文末设置悬念
6. 不偏离原文主题
7. 不违背逻辑常理
三大原则
1. 原文一致原则
2. 曲折性原则
3. 正能量原则
时态不一致
主题总结错误
用词单调
书写凌乱
Rewrite or polish the first paragraph
Homework
Rewrite and polish the second paragraph
Thank You

展开更多......

收起↑