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2024届广东深圳市高三英语二模应用文写作讲评
第一节 (满分15分)
假定你是李华，你班在校英语戏剧节中获得一等奖，外教James打算为此庆祝，并委托你调查同学们喜欢的方式。请你根据调查结果，给外教写一封邮件，内容包括：
1.表达感谢;
2.提出个人建议；
3.说明理由。
注意：1. 词数 80左右;
2.请在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Dear James,
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
审题
1. 单向的表达感谢及理由；（段一）
2. 扼要的图表调查结果描述；（段二）
3. 个人抽取其中一项或多项推荐给外教James;（段二）
4. 并对推荐项目辅以理由；（段二）
5. 礼貌性收尾和回扣首段。（段三）
句型积累
一、表示感谢
1. I am writing to express our heartfelt gratitude for your intention to celebrate our class’s first prize win(n.胜利) at the school’s English Drama Festival. It is a moment of pride for all of us, and your support means a lot.
2. Thank you for trusting me with the task of surveying our classmates’ preferred activities to celebrate our success at the English Drama Festival. Here are the survey findings along with my personal opinion.
3. It’s my honor to extend our heartfelt thanks for your generous offer to celebrate our success. Your support and enthusiasm are truly inspiring.
二、描述图表
1. Based on the survey I conducted, 88% of us are enthusiastic about a weekend outing, while 59% favour an English movie night, followed by 32% who prefer a food party.
2. The ‘outing at weekends’ was the top choice for celebration, favored by a significant majority with 88% of the votes. Sharing food and drinks came in second, preferred by 32%, while watching English movies attracted the least interest at 59%.
3. The survey reveals that 88% of students are keen on celebrating with a weekend outing. Sharing food and drinks also found favor, accounting for 59%. On the other hand, watching English movies fell behind, with only 32% of the votes.
4. From the survey, outings on weekends and English movie nights are favored by 88% and 59% of us respectively （分别）, with 32% keen on sharing food and drinks.
三、建议+理由
1. My suggestion is in line with（与……一致) the desire of many to engage in a more active and outdoor activity, which would serve as a refreshing break from our academic routine. Moreover, an outing allows us to relax and celebrate our success in a way that is both healthy and inclusive (包容性强的;各种人都有的), accommodating (accommodate熟词生义-考虑到;顾及) a variety of interests and preferences.
2. I would opt for (选择) the “outing at weekends” as the celebration method due to its overwhelming popularity(压倒性人气--很受欢迎) and the opportunity it presents for fostering (促进，培养) camaraderie (/ k m rɑ d ri/友情)and creating lasting memories among students. Additionally, it offers a chance for relaxation and personal interaction, which can be both refreshing and educational.
3. My preference agrees with (与……一致)the majority, so I suggest a hiking trip along the nearby greenway, which has lively plants and stunning views (壮丽的风景). Such an outing is perfect for us to take a break from study routines, strengthen friendship and make our success more memorable.
四、礼貌回扣
1. I eagerly await your thoughts on this suggestion and look forward to celebrating our victory together.
2. Thanks again for your thoughtful gesture. Looking forward to our exciting celebration!
3. I’ll appreciate it if you can take my suggestion into account.
4. I am confident that an outing will not only be a delightful experience but also a meaningful way to celebrate our success. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this proposal.
范文：
Dear James,
I hope this email finds you well. We are grateful for your enthusiasm in celebrating our class winning the first prize at the English Drama Festival. Your support means a lot to us!
Based on the survey I conducted, 88% of us are enthusiastic about a weekend outing, while 59% favor an English movie night, followed by 32% who prefer a food party. My preference is in line with the majority, so I suggest a hiking trip along the nearby greenway, which has lively plants and stunning views. Such an outing is perfect for us to take a break from study routines, strengthen friendship and make our success more memorable.
Thanks again for your thoughtful gesture. Looking forward to our exciting celebration!
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua

我希望这封邮件能让你感觉良好。我们非常感谢您对我们班在英国戏剧节上获得一等奖的热情庆祝。您的支持对我们意义重大！
根据我的调查，88%的人热衷于周末出游，59%的人喜欢英国电影之夜，其次是32%的人喜欢美食派对。我的偏好与大多数人一致，所以我建议沿着附近的绿道徒步旅行，那里有活泼的植物和迷人的景色。这样的郊游非常适合我们从日常学习中解脱出来，加强友谊，让我们的成功更加难忘。
再次感谢你周到的姿态。期待我们激动人心的庆祝活动！
Another two versions.
Thank you for trusting me to survey our classmates’ preferred activities for celebrating our success at the English Drama Festival. Here are the results and my personal opinion. From the survey, outings on weekends and English movie nights are favored by 88% and 59% of us respectively, with 32% keen on sharing food and drinks. To meet the varied interests, I would recommend we organize an outdoor gathering at the city park, where we can bring along various foods and drinks to share. I believe this plan would ideally satisfy those seeking an adventure and those who wish to relax and enjoy good company.
Thank you once again for your support and for considering my suggestion! (116 词)
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
Hope this email finds you well. I’m Li Hua, writing to share some concerns regarding our English drama elective class. It has come to my attention that the choice of scripts may not be engaging enough for all students, and the timing seems to conflict with other important school activities. To address these issues, I propose selecting various plays that satisfy different interests and skill levels. Additionally, it might be helpful to schedule practices on different days or times to avoid overlaps with other commitments.
Thank you for your efforts in making this course enjoyable and beneficial for us. (99 words)
学生优作（教师已略加修改）
1. I’m so thrilled when hearing that we won the first in our school English drama festival. Without your support, we would never have reached this achievement. Thank you for planning a celebration activities.
As I surveyed, 88% of the students prefer outing at weekends, and 59% like watching English movies while 32% think sharing food and drinks is the best choice. As for me, I agree to go outside at weekends. Not only can this help release our stress but also broaden our horizons. Above all, it is a form of workout, strengthening our body.
Looking forward to your considering my suggestion!
2. I’m writing to convey my heartfelt gratitude to you for guiding us to win the first prize in the school English Drama Festival.
As you required, I studied my classmates’ preferred celebration activities, finding that most students are willing to go out at weekends and watch English movies. In my opinion, we may go on a picnic in the park this Sunday and then watch an English movie. Not only will it meet our appetite, but also it can leave a memorable impression on the celebration to win the first prize. I hope my advice may be of help to you.
3. I’m excessively thankful for your cordial celebration for our winning the fist prize in the English Drama Festival. Recently I have managed to complete the investigation in our school. I am writing to provide the findings and some constructive suggestions of mine.
Most of my classmates prefer outing at weekends, while 59% are keen on watching English movies. Meanwhile, 39% of the students are fascinated in sharing food and drinks. In my view, going out to the cinema for an English movie may be a wise choice, which is bound to satisfy everyone’s need and enhances our interest in learning English.
I hope my suggestion will be of help to you. I would be more than happy if you can take my suggestion into consideration.
4. Thank you for planning to celebrate our class to win the first award in the school English Drama Festival. All of us will continue to work hard to perform better next time.
According to my survey, 88% of the students want an outing at weekends, 59% of the students like watching English movies and 32% are willing to share food and drinks. From my perspective, I support the majority. Going outing at weekends can not only help students take a break from busy school work, but also make students appreciate the charm of nature. I believe it will be a fantastic and memorable experience.
Thank you for your support again and I hope my suggestion can be of help.

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