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读后续写“跨越隔阂，修复父女情”写作解析
读后续写（2024年11月强基联盟高二期中英语）
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I knew healing my relationship with Dad was vital, but how to go about it was another story. At the time the gulf between us seemed insurmountable(无法逾越的).My feelings of being criticized and rejected by Dad were my deepest wound,
In my early years I was the apple of his eye, and he was a hero in my childhood.We played sports and games, and often went fishing together,
As adolescence approached, however, everything changed. It became clear that I was determined to forge my own path, one completely different from his expectation. In school I was having behavioral problems, being a class joker and breaking all the rules. And having my parents read my school report was a nightmare for me. Sometimes I was punished. Their disapproval made me feel even worse. Punishments only added to the hurt.
My dad had no idea how to deal with me. He became silent and distant, setting a wall and pretending that he didn't care. That was even more painful to me than my mother's voiced disapproval. I hated him for that, and pretended that I didn't want anything to do with him. We lived under the same roof, but we were a thousand miles away from each other.
I continued to have trouble with school until the time I chose to drop out and pursue my interests in music, I became totally focused on my spiritual growth, which sent shivers(寒颤) through my father's mind. There were many hard feelings between us, feelings that hardened as time went by.
For much of my twenties, I went about my life without much of a relationship with my dad. We had stopped trying to change each other, but the walls remained, thick and cold between us.
Things all began changing four years after mom told me it was time to deal with Dad, Hesitant for a long time, I finally took her advice and wrote my father a letter.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2,请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
第一段：After sending the letter, I felt a heavy weight on my mind.
第二段：I visited my father soon after receiving his letter.
解题思路与段落结构分析
这篇续写题目要求我们在一个情感复杂、具有转折的场景中继续发展故事。主人公和父亲之间长期的隔阂和误解，通过一封信开始慢慢修复。我们需要把握好情感的递进和转变，使得续写的内容既符合题意，又能吸引读者，展现出人物的心理变化。下面将详细分析解题的思路，帮助大家更好地把握这类高考读后续写的写作技巧。
情节分析
1. 第一段：内心的煎熬与忏悔
情节重点：主人公在写完信之后，内心充满不安、忏悔和期待。此时，她既渴望父亲的理解，又害怕父亲的反应。我们要通过细腻的心理描写来展示主人公的情感波动，并通过环境的衬托来增强情感的层次。
情感递进：从一开始的犹豫与恐惧到逐渐的反思、悔恼。此时，主人公的情感需要通过动作链、细节描写等方式来表现。她的身体动作、思维转折等都会影响到情节的展开。
写作技巧：利用现在分词短语或情感动词来强化心理活动，如“my hands trembled with anxiety”可以表现主人公的紧张情绪，动作链可以帮助展现主人公内心不安的同时增强画面感。
2. 第二段：父亲的宽容与理解
情节重点：父亲的回信和宽容是情节的关键转折点。主人公从内心的痛苦走向接纳与和解，父亲的态度至关重要。续写时要让父亲的言语与动作展现出他对女儿的理解和宽容，让这段情感的过渡自然且真实。
情感递进：从痛苦的自责到逐渐的释怀和宽慰。通过细节描写（如父亲放下手中的工作，温柔地拥抱她）展示父亲如何通过身体语言来安抚主人公，使得主人公的心情得到平复。
写作技巧：利用动作链（如“placed a hand on her shoulder”）展示父亲的宽容，同时可以用间接引语（如“he told me that mistakes didn’t define me”）来强化父亲的宽容与理解。
段落结构
第一段：
情节引导：
在主人公写完信之后，她的内心充满忏悔与紧张。虽然她做出了修复关系的第一步，但她依然无法抑制内心的恐惧，担心父亲的反应。
示范段落：
After sending the letter, I felt a heavy weight on my mind. My hands shook as I watched the envelope disappear into the mailbox, and I wondered if it would be enough. Would my father understand my words, or would they just add to the distance between us The silence that had hung between us for so many years felt heavier now, and I paced around my room, trying to figure out if I had done the right thing. The thought of his reaction filled me with both hope and dread. Could he finally hear me Could he finally see me for who I had become
语法点分析：
现在分词短语：“pacing around my room”用来表达主人公的紧张不安。
情态动词：“Would my father understand”表示主人公对父亲反应的不确定性。
动作链：“My hands shook as I watched”表现了主人公的身体反应和心理状态。
第二段：
情节引导：
父亲的回信和宽容是情节的转折点，通过父亲的温暖话语和细节，逐渐化解了主人公内心的痛苦。
示范段落：
I visited my father soon after receiving his letter. As I stood at his door, my heart pounded in my chest. He opened it slowly, his face softening as our eyes met. Without a word, he stepped aside, allowing me in. “Come in,” he said, his voice low but steady. My breath caught in my throat as I stepped inside, unsure of what to expect. But as he sat down across from me, I could see it in his eyes—a glimmer of understanding, a willingness to listen. For the first time in years, it felt like we were on the same page. "I’ve been waiting for this," he said quietly. And in that moment, all the years of pain and misunderstanding seemed to fade away.
语法点分析：
直接引语：“Come in” 和 “I’ve been waiting for this” 通过对话展示父亲的态度转变，让情感更加鲜活。
动作链：“He stepped aside, allowing me in”表现父亲的宽容与接纳，同时增强了情感的转折感。
现在分词短语：“his face softening”展现父亲情感的变化，突显他对女儿的理解。
总结与亮点分析
1. 情感递进：
通过两段的情感递进，从主人公的不安、忏悔到父亲的理解与宽容，展现了父女关系从隔阂到和解的过程。第一段突出了主人公的痛苦与自责，第二段则通过父亲的宽容展示了情感的治愈。
2. 细节描写：
通过细节描写增强了情节的真实感和代入感。例如，“My hands shook” 和 “his face softening” 都增强了人物情感的层次，使得故事更加生动。
3. 直接引语与间接引语：
通过对话的方式使人物之间的互动更加生动和有力，同时加深了情感的表达。
4. 动作链：
通过描述人物的动作，如“he stepped aside, allowing me in”，展现父亲的宽容与接纳，也增加了情感的层次。

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