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Powerpoint
2025高考新I卷读后续写详析及参考范文
目录
contents
故事基本要素剖析
写作技巧与语料积累
参考范文
1.
3.
2.
写作提分策略
4.
PART
01
一、故事基本要素剖析
人物与背景
"我"：一位重视家庭聚会的主人，关心孩子的安全，但最初对宠物狗的处理方式不够体贴。后来意识到自己的错误并主动修复关系。
妻子：热情好客，为聚会准备了很多零食，并在"我"与 哥哥和解时提供了亲手做的饼干作为礼物。
Toby：一只50磅重、精力旺盛但友好的狗，是哥哥的重要伴侣。
哥哥：一位失去妻子不久、面临健康问题的鳏夫，将狗Toby视为重要的情感寄托和精神支柱。对"我"最初的要求感到受伤，但最终接受和解。
人物与背景
背景：
时间：初夏，家庭聚会当天及之后两个月
地点："我"家的后院和室内； 哥哥的家
情节：
"我"和妻子举办家庭聚会，妻子准备食物，"我"负责后院安排。 哥哥带着爱犬Toby前来，由于担心活泼的Toby会伤到小孩，"我"要求哥哥把狗留在室外。起初安排顺利，但突如其来的降雨迫使所有人进屋，导致哥哥不得不带着淋湿的狗提前离开。之后两个月哥哥拒绝联系，"我"经过内心挣扎，最终理解 哥哥的处境并主动登门道歉和解。
“我”：重视家庭，因担心孩子安全限制Toby，实则缺乏对哥哥情感的理解，后主动和解体现责任感。
哥哥：丧偶后将狗视为情感支柱，因被误解而选择离开，但内心渴望亲情，最终接受道歉。
背景设定的作用
聚会筹备：分工明确，哥哥带狗引发后续矛盾，为冲突埋下伏笔。
冲突爆发：暴雨使计划改变，室内空间加剧矛盾，哥哥带狗离开成为冲突高潮。
冷战反思：两月无联系让“我”内心挣扎，换位思考促使认知转变。
和解高潮：带饼干致歉，Toby破冰，兄弟谈心，情感修复，故事圆满收尾。
人物与背景
人物性格与动机
时间：初夏家庭聚会日及之后两个月，初夏象征着新的开始，为后续和解埋下伏笔。
地点：“我”家后院/室内、哥哥住所，后院的聚会场景与室内的冲突场景形成对比，推动情节发展。
情节发展脉络
期待（聚会前）→担忧（Toby隐患）→满意（计划顺利）→尴尬（暴雨突至），情绪起伏与情节发展紧密相连。
不安（哥哥离开）→震惊（冷淡回复）→挣扎（自尊心博弈）→懊悔（共情理解），内心冲突推动情绪转变。
决心（主动和解）→欣慰（关系修复），和解带来积极情绪，故事圆满收尾。
天气转折：暴雨引发室内矛盾，打破原本和谐的聚会氛围。
哥哥抉择：拒绝妥协选择离开，使冲突达到顶点，情节陷入僵局。
短信冲击：“Not a chance”的冰冷回复，让“我”陷入绝望，推动内心反思。
认知转折：意识到Toby是“情感锚点”，促使“我”重新审视问题。
行动转折：主动登门打破僵局，开启和解之路，为故事带来转机。
转折与情绪发展
关键转折节点
情绪脉络图
人物关系与情感：“我”因过于注重房子的整洁而忽略了哥哥的情感需求，从最初的理直气壮转变为深深的自责。哥哥则因丧妻之痛和健康问题而处于情感脆弱期，狗（Toby）是他重要的精神寄托。哥哥的受伤与沉默是情节的核心驱动力。
核心冲突：“我”的“规则”与哥哥的“情感需求”之间的冲突。续写需要解决这一冲突，弥合兄弟间的裂痕。
故事主题：探讨亲情、共情（同理心）、理解与和解的重要性。
要素分析
Powerpoint
PART
02
二、写作技巧与语料积累
动作描写语料积累：
was consumed by remorse (充满懊悔)
The weight of my guilt pressed down (负罪感沉重)
had been utterly selfish and thoughtless (极其自私和欠考虑)
failed him completely (完全辜负了他)
ignored his profound grief and loneliness (忽视了他深切的悲痛和孤独)
blinded by concern for the baby (被对宝宝的关心蒙蔽了双眼)
Toby was his lifeline / sole comfort / constant companion (Toby是他的生命线/唯一的慰藉/不变的伙伴)
动作描写语料积累：
the one thing keeping him going (支撑他活下去的唯一事物)
in his fragile state (在他脆弱的状态下)
needed understanding and support, not rejection (需要理解和支持，而不是排斥)
acted with a lack of empathy (表现得缺乏同理心)
deeply ashamed of my behavior (对我的行为深感羞愧)
a peace offering from my wife (来自我妻子的和平礼物)
heart pounding with nervousness (心因紧张而怦怦直跳)
took a deep breath (深吸一口气)
动作描写语料积累：
met with surprise / a guarded expression (迎接我的是惊讶/戒备的表情)
his eyes held a mix of hurt and something else (他眼中混杂着受伤和其他情绪)
"I was wrong, terribly wrong." (“我错了，大错特错。”)
"I came to apologize sincerely." (“我来真诚地道歉。”)
"I failed to see things from your perspective." (“我没能从你的角度看问题。”)
"I completely disregarded what Toby means to you, especially now." (“我完全忽视了Toby对你的意义，尤其是在现在。”)
"Making you leave that night was heartless." (“那晚让你离开是冷酷无情的。”)
"I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you." (“我非常抱歉给你造成的痛苦。”)
"I miss you, and I'm worried about you." (“我想念你，也很担心你。”)
动作描写语料积累：
His expression softened slightly. (他的表情略微柔和了些。)
His eyes welled up. (他的眼睛湿润了。)
He sighed deeply. (他深深地叹了口气。)
"Come in," he said quietly / gruffly. (“进来吧，”他轻声/粗声说。)
He stepped aside to let me enter. (他侧身让我进去。)
He reached out and gave my shoulder a squeeze. (他伸出手，捏了捏我的肩膀。)
The tension began to ease. (紧张的气氛开始缓和。)
Toby's enthusiastic greeting broke the ice. (Toby热情的问候打破了僵局。)
Powerpoint
PART
POWERPOINT DESIGN
03
三、参考范文
情节构思：
第一段(内心转变)：续写开头是“I realized it was me who was at fault.”，这决定了本段必须聚焦于“我”的内心反思。考生应详细描写“我”是如何认识到自己错误的，最终内心的愧疚感必须转化为“必须去道歉”的具体行动决心。
第二段(付诸行动与和解)：续写开头是“With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door.”，标志着情节进入解决与和解阶段。考生应描绘一个层次分明、情感真实的和解场面：抵达时的紧张、真诚的道歉、哥哥渐进的反应，并可以利用Toby的动作作为“催化剂”来打破僵局，最终以一个象征和解的开放式动作（如开门邀请）结尾。
参考范文 一 Para 1：
I realized it was me who was at fault. I had been utterly selfish and thoughtless. Blinded by concern for the baby, I failed my brother completely. I ignored his profound grief and loneliness, forgetting that Toby was his lifeline, his sole comfort, his constant companion – the one thing keeping him going in his fragile state. My brother needed understanding and support, not rejection. I was deeply ashamed of my behavior; I had acted with a lack of empathy. The weight of my guilt pressed down on me, consumed by remorse.
参考范文 Para 1：
P2: With the biscuits my wife had made, a peace offering, I arrived at my brother's door. My heart pounded with nervousness. Taking a deep breath, I rang the bell. He opened the door, met with surprise, his expression guarded. His eyes held a mix of hurt and something else. "I was wrong, terribly wrong," I said quickly. "I came to apologize sincerely. I failed to see things from your perspective. I completely disregarded what Toby means to you, especially now. I miss you, and I'm worried about you." My brother sighed deeply, his expression softened slightly, and his eyes welled up. "Come in," he said quietly, stepping aside to let me enter. He reached out and gave my shoulder a squeeze. The tension began to ease, finally broken by Toby's enthusiastic greeting.
参考范文 二 Para 1：
I realized it was me who was at fault. My own pride and my focus on a perfect house had blinded me to his pain. I had treated Toby, his only source of comfort, as a simple inconvenience. For my brother, who had already lost so much, my rigid rule must have felt like another rejection. A wave of shame washed over me. I couldn’t let my foolishness create a permanent distance between us. My wife agreed, saying it was time to apologize and make things right.
参考范文 二 Para 2：
With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. When he opened it, his eyes showed surprise, followed by a familiar sadness. Before he could speak, I said, “I am so sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you.” He stood silently for a moment, his shoulders relaxing slightly. Just then, Toby pushed past his legs, swinging his tail and gently pushed his head against my hand, as if he’d already forgiven me. We sat down, talked, and laughed like old times. By the end of the visit, we’d agreed to have another gathering—this time, with Toby welcome inside, too.
范文评析：
情节推进合理，逻辑严密
第一段深刻地剖析了主人公的内心世界，将“认识到错误”的过程写得层次分明、感人至深，为后续的道歉行动提供了充分的情感铺垫。
第二段的和解场面真实可信。对哥哥的反应处理得非常出色，用a slight smile of relief（一丝释然的微笑）表达情感，清晰、积极。同时，将Toby的动作描述为swinging his tail和gently pushed his head against my hand，生动地刻画了动物带来的温暖，设计巧妙。
范文评析：
语言表达精准，句式丰富
词汇运用精准：范文使用了大量能准确表达情感和状态的词汇，如blinded me to his pain（让我对他的痛苦视而不见）、rigid rule（刻板的规则）、a wave of shame（一阵羞愧感）、shoulders relaxing slightly（肩膀微微放松）等，用词地道且富有表现力。
高级句式运用娴熟：范文融合了多种高级结构，使表达更具层次感和文采。具体分析如下：
非限制性定语从句：For my brother, who had already lost so much, my rigid rule must have felt like another rejection. 此处用who引导的从句补充说明了哥哥的处境，增强了情感的冲击力，引导读者产生共情。
分词短语作状语：① Taking a deep breath, I knocked. 此处现在分词短语作状语，描绘了“我”在敲门前紧张的心理活动，使动作描写更丰富。② ...Toby pushed past his legs, swinging his tail... 此处分词短语伴随主句动作发生，使画面更加生动、同步。
无灵主语：My own pride and my focus on a perfect house had blinded me to his pain. 该句使用抽象名词pride和focus作主语，使表达更加客观、有力，是地道的英语思维体现。
范文评析：
主题突出，立意深刻
文章紧扣“亲情与和解”的核心主题，通过兄弟二人的矛盾与和解，深刻揭示了在人际关系中，特别是面对处在困境中的亲人时，共情与理解的至关重要性。故事的结局温暖人心，弘扬了家庭温情这一普世价值观，完全符合高考“立德树人”的考查方向。
Powerpoint
PART
POWERPOINT DESIGN
04
四、写作提分策略
动作细节传递情感
内在心理矛盾与外在事件冲击相结合，使故事更具深度和复杂性，吸引读者。
例如“我”内心对哥哥的愧疚与坚持自尊心的矛盾，与外在的暴雨、人宠矛盾相互交织，推动情节发展。
意外元素运用
意外元素如天气突变、宠物失控等能有效推动转折，增加故事的戏剧性和可读性。
暴雨打破聚会计划，使人物被迫对峙，引发冲突，为后续情节发展提供契机。
冲突设计策略
内外冲突结合
通过“递饼干”“摸狗头”等具象动作传递情感，使情感表达更加细腻、真实。
“递饼干”动作体现“我”的愧疚与和解诚意，“摸狗头”则展现对哥哥情感的理解与接纳。
环境烘托强化氛围
用“阳光/阴雨”“寂静/喧闹”等环境词强化氛围，增强故事的感染力。
阴雨天气烘托冲突氛围，阳光则象征和解与希望，使读者更容易产生共鸣。
冲突设计策略
Powerpoint
2025
谢谢大家
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时间：
2025.6

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