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（2025年全国I）
第二节 （满分25分）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small gathering in the early summer. She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the backyard in order.
There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play. There was just one thing I hadn’t counted on: My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50-pound ball of fire. Though friendly, he could easily knock over my niece’s small boys and my six-month-old granddaughter. So, when my brother showed up, I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside.
My plan was working out just fine. Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly, after supper, the weather changed. It started to rain and everyone went indoors.
It was an awkward moment. I didn’t want Toby to be running around in the house, and my brother wasn’t happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually, my brother decided to leave rather than force the issue.
A few days passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from my brother. I texted him and expressed wishes for him to come out again. His reply came as a surprise—a shock, actually: “Not a chance.” Clearly, he was unhappy over the way we had parted. After all, I had left him little choice. Well, he’ll get over it, I reasoned.
Two months passed. My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother, but I resisted, thinking he should call first. However, my conscience (良心) kept bothering me. I tried to put myself in my brother’s shoes. He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty-five years had passed away a few months earlier. Toby was his constant companion, the one who kept him going.
注意：
(1) 续写词数应为150个左右；
(2) 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
I realized it was me who was at fault.
With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’s door.
范文：
I realized it was me who was at fault. That guilt didn’t fade—it lingered and grew, making it hard to focus or even sit still. My mind replayed the backyard scene, John’s stiff back, and the unspoken hurt in his eyes as he drove away with a soaking Toby. I thought of all the times he had stood by me—how my brother had always been my unwavering support, always there to help me through any difficulty, without a single complaint. How could I have been so blind, so caught up in my own ideas of order The small problem of a wet dog in the house was nothing compared to the immense bond of brotherhood. And now, facing his own health battles and having just lost his wife, Toby was truly all he had left. A ripple of shame—laced with a deep longing—spread through me, slow but steady. At that moment, I knew: if I didn’t act now, I might lose something I could never fix.
With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’s door. With my heart pounding fiercely, I knocked gently, then stood still, barely breathing. He opened it slightly, his expression initially surprised, then cool. "John," I began softly, my voice tinged with sincere remorse, "I... I'm here to apologize. I should’ve been more understanding.” He said nothing, but Toby rushed forward, tail wagging, eyes full of joy.Seeing Toby's unbridled enthusiasm, the tension in John's face visibly eased. He accepted the biscuits, a soft sigh escaping him, and a faint smile touched his lips. “Come in,” he whispered. We sat down, and though our words were few, they didn’t need to be many. It was what unfolded in this experience that rekindled a deep warmth within me—a stronger sense of empathy and a renewed appreciation for our enduring family bond, reminding me to cherish and prioritize those dearest to me.
翻译：
I realized it was me who was at fault.
我意识到，错的是我。
That guilt didn’t fade—it lingered and grew, making it hard to focus or even sit still.
那份愧疚并没有消退——反而挥之不去，愈演愈烈，让我难以专注，甚至坐立不安。
My mind replayed the backyard scene, John’s stiff back, and the unspoken hurt in his eyes as he drove away with a soaking Toby.
脑海里不断重现后院的情景，约翰僵硬的背影，以及他开车带着全身湿透的托比离开时眼中那未曾说出口的伤痛。
I thought of all the times he had stood by me—how my brother had always been my unwavering support, always there to help me through any difficulty, without a single complaint.
我想起他曾无数次在我困难时给予支持——他一直是我坚定的依靠，始终在我身边默默帮助，从未抱怨。
How could I have been so blind, so caught up in my own ideas of order
我怎么会如此盲目，竟执着于自己那一套所谓的规矩？
The small problem of a wet dog in the house was nothing compared to the immense bond of brotherhood.
一只湿狗弄脏房子的问题，与深厚的兄弟情谊相比，根本微不足道。
And now, facing his own health battles and having just lost his wife, Toby was truly all he had left.
而现在，面对自身的健康问题，又刚刚失去了相伴三十五年的妻子，托比确实是他仅剩的一切了。
A ripple of shame—laced with a deep longing—spread through me, slow but steady.
一股夹杂着深切渴望的羞愧之情缓缓在我心中扩散，缓慢却坚定。
At that moment, I knew: if I didn’t act now, I might lose something I could never fix.
就在那一刻，我明白：如果我现在不采取行动，我可能会永远失去一段无法修复的感情。
With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’s door.
我带着妻子做的饼干，来到了哥哥家门口。
With my heart pounding fiercely, I knocked gently, then stood still, barely breathing.
我心跳如鼓，轻轻敲了敲门，然后站定不动，几乎不敢呼吸。
He opened it slightly, his expression initially surprised, then cool.
门缓缓打开，他的表情先是惊讶，随后转为冷淡。
"John," I began softly, my voice tinged with sincere remorse, "I... I'm here to apologize. I should’ve been more understanding.”
“约翰，”我轻声开口，声音中充满真挚的懊悔，“我……我是来道歉的，我本该更体谅你。”
He said nothing, but Toby rushed forward, tail wagging, eyes full of joy.
他没有说话，但托比一下子冲了出来，尾巴摇个不停，眼中满是喜悦。
Seeing Toby's unbridled enthusiasm, the tension in John's face visibly eased.
看到托比那毫无保留的热情，约翰脸上的紧张明显缓和下来。
He accepted the biscuits, a soft sigh escaping him, and a faint smile touched his lips.
他接过饼干，轻轻叹了口气，嘴角浮现出一丝淡淡的微笑。
“Come in,” he whispered.
“进来吧。”他低声说。
We sat down, and though our words were few, they didn’t need to be many.
我们坐了下来，虽然话不多，但无需多言。
It was what unfolded in this experience that rekindled a deep warmth within me—a stronger sense of empathy and a renewed appreciation for our enduring family bond, reminding me to cherish and prioritize those dearest to me.
正是这次经历中发生的一切，重新唤起了我内心深处的温情——让我更加懂得换位思考，更加珍惜那份持久的亲情，也提醒我要把最亲近的人放在最重要的位置。
详细分析
一、主题
亲情的理解与修复
本篇续写体现了在误解和冲突后，兄弟通过反思与主动和解，重新建立起彼此的信任和情感联系，强调家人间的包容、换位思考和珍惜彼此。
二、主旨大意
主人公在家庭聚会中因为规则坚持而忽略哥哥的情感需求，导致兄弟关系破裂。通过反思，他意识到自己的冷漠和自私，于是主动登门道歉，兄弟关系最终在理解和原谅中得以修复。
三、主要矛盾
主人公坚持狗不能进屋 vs 哥哥将狗视为家庭与情感支柱
这是规则与情感的冲突、理性与共情的冲突。弟弟从只关注“房子整洁”到最终理解“狗对哥哥意味着什么”，完成了情感转变。
四、故事起因（
哥哥在家庭聚会时带来了宠物狗，出于安全考虑弟弟让狗留在屋外，后因下雨引发哥哥不满离开。
五、冲突诱因（
弟弟坚持不给狗进入屋内的权利，哥哥在雨中带狗离开，感受到被排斥与不被理解，导致心生不满，关系破裂。
六、人物性格分析
人物 性格特点 证据与表现
弟弟（叙述者） 理性、有规则感；后期反思、富有同理心 起初坚持狗不能进屋；后意识到错在自己，主动登门
哥哥 重感情、孤独、对狗深度依赖 妻子去世、健康不佳，狗是精神支撑；离开后拒绝联系
Toby（狗） 热情、无条件忠诚 再见面时兴奋扑来，推动兄弟情绪缓和
七、动作链 & 情绪描写 & 心理描写 ·
第一段动作链（内心挣扎阶段）
That guilt didn’t fade—it lingered and grew, making it hard to focus or even sit still.
My mind replayed the backyard scene, John’s stiff back, and the unspoken hurt in his eyes...
I thought of all the times he had stood by me...
A ripple of shame—laced with a deep longing—spread through me, slow but steady.
动作顺序提炼：
→ 注意力涣散（hard to focus）
→ 难以静坐（sit still）
→ 场景回放（mind replayed）
→ 情绪蔓延（shame spread）
第二段动作链（登门和解阶段）
With my heart pounding fiercely, I knocked gently, then stood still, barely breathing.
He opened it slightly...
Toby rushed forward...
He accepted the biscuits, a soft sigh escaping him...
“Come in,” he whispered.
We sat down, and though our words were few, they didn’t need to be many.
动作顺序提炼：
→ 敲门（knocked gently）
→ 等待/静止（stood still）
→ 狗冲出（Toby rushed forward）
→ 递饼干 / 接饼干（accepted the biscuits）
→ 坐下（sat down）
情绪描写（全段贯穿）
第一段情绪词句
That guilt didn’t fade—it lingered and grew...
A ripple of shame—laced with a deep longing—spread through me, slow but steady.
关键词：guilt, shame, longing, linger, spread
第二段情绪曲线
With my heart pounding fiercely...
His expression initially surprised, then cool.
Toby rushed forward... the tension in John’s face visibly eased.
A soft sigh escaping him, and a faint smile touched his lips.
It was what unfolded in that defining moment that rekindled a deep warmth within me.
关键词串联情绪变化：紧张（pounding）→ 冷淡（cool）→ 缓和（eased）→ 温情（warmth）
心理描写（选自内心独白段）
自我否定：
How could I have been so blind, so caught up in my own ideas of order
情感比较：
The small problem of a wet dog in the house was nothing compared to the immense bond of brotherhood.
情感唤醒与升华：
It was what unfolded in that defining moment that rekindled a deep warmth within me—a stronger sense of empathy and a renewed appreciation for our enduring family bond...
八、续写部分四个情节
第一段
情节1：弟弟意识到自己处理不当，感到持续的懊悔与愧疚，无法集中注意力。
情节2：他回忆起哥哥在自己人生困难时的支持，逐渐意识到：自己太看重规矩，却忽略了亲情的重量，于是下定决心主动道歉。
第二段
情节3：弟弟带着妻子做的饼干登门道歉，起初哥哥态度冷淡，气氛紧张。
情节4：托比的热情打破了沉默，哥哥表情缓和，两人虽少言语，但情感在沉默中弥合，兄弟情得以重建。
九、写作技巧亮点
情绪曲线：内疚 → 反思 → 紧张 → 释怀 → 升华
高分句式：
A ripple of + 情感 + laced with + 情感
It was what unfolded in that defining moment that...
主题升华：强调家庭情感的珍贵与及时沟通的重要性
评价要点：
第一段：心理活动与决定
情感铺垫自然深入：从“愧疚没有消退，反而不断积聚”开始，写出了悔恨是一种持续的、日常的折磨，非常有真实感。
细节生动：“难以集中注意力或坐立不安”、“心神不宁”、“脑海中不断重现”等描写，将主人公的内心煎熬具象化。
回忆与反思的结合：通过回忆哥哥昔日的支持与帮助，与自己当时的“盲目”和“执着于秩序”形成强烈对比，深化了悔意和自我批判。
冲突的升华：将“湿狗的小麻烦”与“兄弟情谊”对比，明确了孰轻孰重，使得情感和逻辑推向高潮。
决心坚定：“那一刻，我知道：如果现在不行动，我可能会失去一些永远无法弥补的东西”——这句话力量感十足，完美收束了第一段。
第二段：行动与和解
场景描写生动：“心砰砰直跳，轻轻敲门，然后一动不动地站着，几乎停止了呼吸”——这些动作和心理描写，将登门时的紧张和忐忑表现得淋漓尽致。
人物反应真实：哥哥从“惊讶”到“冷淡”再到被托比融化后的“面色明显缓和”，直至最后“轻声细语”的邀请，情绪变化自然且富有层次感。
托比的关键作用：再次强调了托比作为情感纽带的强大作用，使和解过程更加温暖动人。
高光句的运用：“虽然我们言语不多，但却无需多言”非常精妙，点出深厚感情无需赘言的境界。“正是在这决定性的一刻所发生的一切，重新点燃了我们内心深处的温暖……”这一句作为结尾，既总结了事件的意义，又升华了情感，展现了主人公的成长和感悟，非常符合续写题的要求。
整体评价：
这两个段落逻辑清晰，情感饱满，语言流畅且富有表现力。主人公的心理转变和行动过程描绘得淋漓尽致，兄弟情谊的修复也显得非常真挚动人。用作高中生学习的范文非常合适。

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