资源简介

(共89张PPT)
题型分析
读后续写的题型特点
逻辑性
创造性
读后续写题型：提供一段350词之内的语言材料，要求考生依据该材料内容和所给段落开头语进行续写(150词左右)，将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节和结构完整的短文。
丰富性
情节构建
点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语；
点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句；
点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；
点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。
解题步骤
解读语篇
Read
浅层信息获取：when, where, who, what
深层文本解读
理清情节和情感
分析人物性格特点
明确故事主题
品味写作风格和语言
Think
结合所给两段首句
结合正能量构思写作框架和原文呼应
增加细节编写故事
动作描写
情感描写
语言运用
细读首句推测情节发展
Write
Polish
环境描写
修改润色书写整洁
七个不
七
个
不
4. 不用负能量结局。结局设计绝对不能负能量。内容应该积极向上, 能增长知识或传播正能量。
1、不增加人物。 续写的故事情节发展都是由原文的人物所推进, 因此, 强行增加人物有可能会偏离情节发展。
5. 不在文末设置悬念。题目要求是 “使之构成一篇完整的短文”, 若在文末设置悬念, 就会给人一种还没结束的感觉，这样的故事是不完整的。
2. 不增加旁支情节。题目要求“考生根据所给情节进行续写”，旨在延续原材料的故事情节，并不是要发展新情节。
6. 不偏离原文主题。续写的情节应时刻围绕着短文的主题去推进。
3. 不用过多对话。在续写中展示对话, 虽能丰富内容和语言, 增强语篇的连贯性, 但使用过多的对话, 会显得篇幅累赘且很难在限定的词数里把整个后续的情节发展补充完整。
7. 不违背逻辑常理。情节和细节的想象要合理, 符合生活常识及具有逻辑性。
读后续写 –亲情，友情类
新高考读后续写的无论涉及什么话题，其续写的原则是：由负面的向正面的转变，即传播“正能量”。
其续写情节的构建大体有三点：
出现问题/困难(开端)——解决问题/困难(过程)——主题升华(正面结局)。
亲情，友谊类题材的续写
1. 通常包含父母之恩、子女之牵挂、兄弟姐妹之情、夫妻之爱、家人之鼓励、长辈之关爱、朋友之互助等内容
2. 也有可能涉及误会、犯错、理念不合等导致亲人之间的冲突的，需要通过解释、道歉、弥补、回忆等来化解矛盾，用感恩、温暖、珍惜亲情、触动心灵等进行主题升华。
读后续写 –亲情，友情类
Part 1 Review
【2021新课标I&II卷】
A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE
The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.
The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
Paragraph 1:
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared. Knowing what they were preparing for, he was greatly surprised. So immediately, he offered to get involved in the kids’ job. Firstly, he put the pot of porridge on a gentle heat, asking Jeff to watch out for it going for fifteen minutes. And then, he asked Jenna to break another two eggs and mix them with milk. With all preparations done, they started to fry bread together. In a flash, sweet smell filled the air in the kitchen. To their delight, the breakfast was a success in the end.
Paragraph 2:
The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. Eyes opened, the woman heard a harmonious “Happy Mother’s Day” from her twin kids with hot, sweet breakfast before her. Behind the children stood their father. To shed light on the game of the gift, he told the mother the whole story. After learning about what happened, she rose quickly to gaze at the boy’s hand with moved tears rolling down her cheeks. “Thank you, my honey!” said the mother. Despite the chaos in making breakfast, the twins' love for their mother shone through, making it a truly special Mother's Day.
解决问题（过程）
解决问题（结果）
升华领悟
（2022·全国·高考真题）
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线)through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration(懊恼). I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer—that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
Para 1: We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.
Para 2: I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
Para 1: We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. I said gently and quietly, “No one can change your mind, except yourself. If you desire to challenge yourself, there is nothing to do with others’ thoughts.” He sat still with a deep breath. “You have a full preparation before this event, which is the most important reason why you show up here”, I added with a sincere tone. Hearing my words, David turned to me tremblingly with tears spilling out of his eyes and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run. His coach heard what David said and gave me a look—the kind that was more determined than anyone else’s.
Para 2: I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. The race started. It seemed that the runway was extremely long for young children, not to mention a child with a brain disease. David insisted on running as if he had forgotten all his weaknesses, though he was tripped over within the a few kilometers. It didn’t take long before he picked himself up again and continued his mission. Classmates all appeared on the racing track, cheering for him. “Come on! You can make it! We are proud of you!” they shouted enthusiastically. To everyone’s joy, he reached the final line and ranked the 20th. It was no more important whether he won the first place or not. It was his brave heart and strong faith that could make something unusual happen finally.
解决问题（过程）
解决问题（结果）
升华领悟
读后续写 –亲情，友情类
Part 2 Structure
Scene 1：友情或亲情出现危机或困难（故事冲突）
生气，伤心，震惊，孤单，茫然，内疚，消极…
Upon hearing the bad news, she felt seized __________________________. 一听到这个坏消息，她就被一股悲伤之感控制，忍不住哭泣。
She went home without any word, __________________________.
她什么都没有说，回了家，哽咽着，内心充满愤怒和不解。
3. He feels __________________________. 他觉得自己被全世界抛弃了。
4. Upon hearing the bad news, he was suddenly thrown __________________________. 听到这个坏消息，他突然被投入黑暗世界，陷入绝望。
5. Feeling _______________________________________, Jessica threw the can at the woman.
Jessica 感到一股强烈的嫉妒在心中升腾、奔涌，她把易拉罐扔向那个女人。
6. She now could do nothing but __________________________（感觉内疚在她心里燃烧）.
7. During the trip, we __________________________（有意避开彼此).
Scene 1：友情或亲情出现危机或困难（故事冲突）
8. Filled __________________________ (狂怒)，Tom __________________________.
Tom气得一句话也说不出, 气呼呼地冲出房间,猛地一下把门关上。
9. Their faces __________________________, my parents stood inches apart, voices raised in a heated argument that __________________________. Each word _______________________, piercing the __________________________.
他们满脸怒容，父母站得很近，激烈的争吵声在房子里回荡。每一个字都像一支利箭，刺痛了曾经和谐的家庭氛围。
生气，伤心，震惊，孤单，茫然，内疚，消极…
Scene 1：友情或亲情出现危机或困难（故事冲突）
生气，伤心，震惊，孤单，茫然，内疚，消极…
Upon hearing the bad news, she felt seized by a burst of sadness and couldn’t help crying bitterly. 一听到这个坏消息，她就被一股悲伤之感控制，忍不住哭泣。
She went home without any word, choking with anger and confusion.
她什么都没有说，回了家，哽咽着，内心充满愤怒和不解。
3. He feels abandoned by the world. 他觉得自己被全世界抛弃了。
4. Upon hearing the bad news, he was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness and sank into loneliness. 听到这个坏消息，他突然被投入黑暗世界，陷入绝望。
5. Feeling a great sense of jealousy welling up in her heart and surging through her, Jessica threw the can at the woman.
Jessica 感到一股强烈的嫉妒在心中升腾、奔涌，她把易拉罐扔向那个女人。
6. She now could do nothing but feel the regret burning in her heart（感觉内疚在她心里燃烧）.
7. During the trip, we intentionally avoided each other（有意避开彼此).
Scene 1：友情或亲情出现危机或困难（故事冲突）
8. Filled with anger/fury(狂怒)，Tom stormed out of the room, slamming the door, unable to utter a single word. Tom气得一句话也说不出, 气呼呼地冲出房间,猛地一下把门关上。
9. Their faces flushed with anger, my parents stood inches apart, voices raised in a heated argument that echoed through the house. Each word was like a sharp arrow, piercing the once - harmonious family atmosphere.
他们满脸怒容，父母站得很近，激烈的争吵声在房子里回荡。每一个字都像一支利箭，刺痛了曾经和谐的家庭氛围。
生气，伤心，震惊，孤单，茫然，内疚，消极…
Scene 2：亲情，友情弥补（解释、认错、弥补）
回忆，沟通，道歉，反省，愧疚
1.At that moment, unexpectedly, _________of the sight of Billy crying on the ground _________ Carter, ___________________________.
在这时，毫无预料地，Carter 突然想起 Billy 躺在地上哭的回忆，一直在他脑海回旋，提醒着他一些事情。
2. _____________________, Tom _____________________, saying, "I know you've been through a tough time..." His _____________________, _____________________.
汤姆脸上带着温和的微笑，把手放在朋友的肩膀上，说道：“我知道你经历了一段艰难的时光，但你并不孤单。我们会一起度过难关的。” 他温暖的目光与朋友的目光交汇，充满了安慰与理解。
3. _________, she _________, _____________________and _____________________,“I am sorry again. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Tears streaming down, she continued, “I _____________________to you earlier.” I stood up and _____________________, silently _____________________.
她脸红了，伸出手，握住我的手，打破了沉默，“我又很抱歉。我不是故意伤害你的。”她泪如雨下，继续说道，“我本应该早点和你谈谈的。”我站起来，把她拉进温暖的怀抱，默默地原谅了过去
Scene 2：亲情，友情弥补（解释、认错、弥补）
回忆，沟通，道歉，反省，愧疚
4.Having realized the problem, Arthur _________ that he wanted _________. _________ littering like before, he spent nearly an hour in putting the toys away, and even putting his socks into the hamper.
意识到这个问题后，亚瑟决定他想要一个改变一下。他没有像以前那样乱扔垃圾，而是花了将近一个小时把玩具放起来，甚至把袜子放进篮子里。
5. Thinking about what I had done to him, ____________________________.
一想到我对他所做的一切，遗憾和内疚就像没休止的潮水一样向我袭来。
6. So ____________________________that ____________________________.
她感到羞愧极了，血液直往脸上涌。
7. Standing in the rain, Sarah and Emily ____________________________. Sarah‘s eyes were filled with regret as she ____________________________. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” she said ____________. Emily ____________, ____________________________. She ____________ and ____________ Sarah, and the rain seemed ____________________________.
莎拉和艾米丽站在雨中对视着。莎拉向前迈了一步，眼中满是懊悔。“我错了。我不该妄下结论，” 她轻声说道。艾米丽点了点头，脸上露出如释重负的笑容。她伸出手拥抱了莎拉，雨水似乎冲走了她们所有的误会。
Scene 2：亲情，友情弥补（解释、认错、弥补）
回忆，沟通，道歉，反省，愧疚
1.At that moment, unexpectedly, the memory of the sight of Billy crying on the ground occurred to Carter, hovering in his mind and reminding him something.
在这时，毫无预料地，Carter 突然想起 Billy 躺在地上哭的回忆，一直在他脑海回旋，提醒着他一些事情。
2. With a gentle smile on his face, Tom placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, saying, "I know you've been through a tough time..." His warm eyes met his friend's, full of comfort and understanding.
汤姆脸上带着温和的微笑，把手放在朋友的肩膀上，说道：“我知道你经历了一段艰难的时光，但你并不孤单。我们会一起度过难关的。” 他温暖的目光与朋友的目光交汇，充满了安慰与理解。
3. Blushed, she reached out, took my hands and broke the silence ,“I am sorry again. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Tears streaming down, she continued, “I should have talked to you earlier.” I stood up and pulled her into a warm embrace, silently forgiving the past.
她脸红了，伸出手，握住我的手，打破了沉默，“我又很抱歉。我不是故意伤害你的。”她泪如雨下，继续说道，“我本应该早点和你谈谈的。”我站起来，把她拉进温暖的怀抱，默默地原谅了过去
Scene 2：亲情，友情弥补（解释、认错、弥补）
回忆，沟通，道歉，反省，愧疚
4.Having realized the problem, Arthur made up his mind that he wanted a change. Instead of littering like before, he spent nearly an hour in putting the toys away, and even putting his socks into the hamper.
意识到这个问题后，亚瑟决定他想要一个改变一下。他没有像以前那样乱扔垃圾，而是花了将近一个小时把玩具放起来，甚至把袜子放进篮子里。
5. Thinking about what I had done to him, regret and guilt overwhelmed me like endless tides.
一想到我对他所做的一切，遗憾和内疚就像没休止的潮水一样向我袭来。
6. So ashamed was she that she could feel the blood rush to her face.
她感到羞愧极了，血液直往脸上涌。
7. Standing in the rain, Sarah and Emily faced each other. Sarah‘s eyes were filled with regret as she took a step forward. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” she said in a soft voice. Emily nodded, a relieved smile spreading across her face. She reached out and hugged Sarah, and the rain seemed to wash away all their misunderstandings.
莎拉和艾米丽站在雨中对视着。莎拉向前迈了一步，眼中满是懊悔。“我错了。我不该妄下结论，” 她轻声说道。艾米丽点了点头，脸上露出如释重负的笑容。她伸出手拥抱了莎拉，雨水似乎冲走了她们所有的误会。
Scene 3：亲情，友情升华
1. Friends are like an umbrella. Whether it's sunny or rainy, they will always be there for you.
朋友就像一把雨伞，无论晴天或雨天，都会永远陪伴在你身旁。
2.It was Henry's kindness that made me feel the warmth from our family. I will treasure it with all my heart.
正是亨利的善良让我感受到了来自我们家人的温暖。我会非常珍惜它的。
3.Struck by the scene/ her mom‘s words, Dora felt a mixture of shame and excitement welling up in her heart and surging through her. Not until then did it dawn on me that family matters a lot. The love within the family, like a warm hearth in the coldest winter, will melt away all the differences and arguments in life.
朵拉被现场/她妈妈的话所震撼，她感到一种羞愧和兴奋在她的心中涌涌起来，在她心中涌动。直到那时，她才意识到家庭是最重要的。家庭中的爱，就像寒冬里温暖的壁炉，会消融了生活中所有的分歧与争吵。
读后续写 –亲情，友情类
Part 3 Appreciate and polish
My fourth of July vacation began with a scream. “Tara!” I jumped, my eyelids snapping open. I realized that my four-year-old sister, Tammy, was staring down at me. I struggled to push her off me as she bounced on my legs. She screamed, and then ran out of my room.
It was as if Tammy never did anything wrong. If Tammy got angry, Mom would say she was trying to get her point across. When Tammy broke a plate, Dad said she was just “helping” me empty the dishwasher. When Tammy scribbled (乱涂乱画) all over the wall, instead of scolding her, my parents chuckled and said, “She’s turning into an artist just like you, Tara.”
We were flying to Utah to visit my grandma for the Fourth of July. Every year I draw Grandma a picture for her birthday, but I sighed as I considered about what picture I should draw this time. When we walked off the plane, I was relieved to see the smiling face of my grandma. We raced over to her.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Grandma got down on one knee to hug Tammy and then swung her in the air. Tammy screamed with laughter. Then Grandma hugged me. “It’s so good to see you too, Tara.”
After six hours of flight, I was exhausted—six hours of listening to Tammy scream with delight again and again and again. I wanted to be alone, so I went outside with my sketchbook and colored pencils. Looking at the scenery, I felt inspired to work on Grandma’s drawing. As I admired the shading on the mountains and the swirls of the sunset, I smiled to myself and thought, this is the best picture I have ever made.
Before I finished my picture, Mom was calling me inside for dinner. When I walked back into the room, my heart stopped. Tammy was lying on the bed, scribbling on a piece of paper. When Tammy saw me frozen in the doorway, she jumped from the bed. She ran over to me and grinned. “I drew you a picture.” she shouted.
“Out!” I screamed angrily, and she ran out of the room. I ran over to the bed. I picked up the paper, and it was just as I’d feared. My drawing had black scribbles all over it. Para 1：Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side. Para 2：I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma.
续写原文分析
25
“我” 的七月四日假期从妹妹塔米的尖叫开始。塔米总是调皮捣蛋，却常被父母宽容对待。假期我们飞去犹他州看望奶奶，每年 “我” 都会为奶奶生日画画，这次也不例外。在奶奶家，“我” 在外面精心创作，却被妈妈叫回去吃饭。回去后发现塔米在 “我” 的画上乱涂乱画，“我” 愤怒不已。
点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语；
点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句；
点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；
点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。
情节构建的重点
26
Para 1： Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side.
Para 2： I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma.
解决问题（过程）
解决问题（过程,结果）
升华领悟
Para 1： Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side.
1）
2）
Para 2： I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma.
3）
4）
解决问题（过程）
解决问题（过程，结果）
升华领悟
Para 1： Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side.
1）Mom wondered what had happened.
2） My anger began to subside and still decided to present it to Grandma.
Para 2： I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma.
3） showed her the damaged drawing, ashamed, worried
4）Grandma loved the picture. Love and understanding are more important than a perfect drawing
解决问题（过程）
解决问题（过程，结果）
升华领悟
communication/ memory
explained sth about the special picture& grandma’s response
Sample
Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side. She looked at me, confused. “What on earth happened, Tara ” she inquired. I answered angrily, “Tammy did this! She always ruins everything!” Mom turned her gaze to Tammy, who was hanging her head. “Tammy, why did you do such a thing ” Tammy cried, “I wanted to draw just like Tara.” Mom sighed and then told Tammy that scribbling on others’ work was wrong. At that time, I think of the past when I made the similar mistake. Suddenly, I felt guilty and my anger began to disappear. And I still decided to present it to our Grandmother.
I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma. I showed her the damaged drawing, my head hung low in shame. “I’m so sorry, Grandma. It’s ruined.” But Grandma just smiled and took the drawing from my hands. “Oh, Tara, I think it’s wonderful. Look at all the colors Tammy added. It’s like a whole new story.” She then pulled me into a warm hug. “You know, the most precious thing about a gift isn’t its perfection, but the love behind it. Her words made me realize that love and understanding are more important than a perfect drawing. From that day on, I made a promise to be more patient with Tammy, to cherish the bond between us, because in the end, family love is what truly matters.
Writing
Polish the first paragraph within 8 minutes
环境描写
高分技巧
情绪描写
心理描写
介词+情绪词，in/with/out of …
无灵主语句
状语从句/定语从句
非谓语动词 doing / feeling做伴随动作
副词或形容词做状语；adv,或 a.+ a.
强调/倒装/感叹句
独立主格，with复合结构
非谓语动词 doing / feeling做伴随动作
Polish
Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side. She looked at me, confused. “What on earth happened, Tara ” she inquired. I answered angrily, “Tammy did this! She always ruins everything!” Mom turned her gaze to Tammy, who was hanging her head. “Tammy, why did you do such a thing ” Tammy cried, “I wanted to draw just like Tara.” Mom sighed and then told Tammy that scribbling on others’ work was wrong. At that time, I think of the past when I made the similar mistake. Suddenly, I felt guilty and my anger began to disappear. And I still decided to present it to our Grandmother.
Mom appeared in the doorway with Tammy by her side. Confused, she looked at me, knitting her brows. “What on earth is going on ” Mom asked, her brows knitted in confusion. I held up the ruined drawing in a trembling trembling with anger. “Tammy scribbled all over my picture for Grandma! I spent so much time on it!” Each word was like a cold wind, echoing through the house. Hardly had Mom got it when she turned her gaze to Tammy who murmured that she just wanted to make it pretty like Tara’s. Tears streaming down her face, she continued, “I should have talked to my elder sister earlier.” On hearing her explanation, memories of my own childhood mistakes flashed through my mind. I remembered how I once accidentally ruined a painting my mother was working on, and how she had comforted me instead of getting angry. All of a sudden, regret and guilt overwhelmed me like endless tides, my anger melting away. Looking at the special picture, I still decided to present it to our Grandmother.
Sample
I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma. I showed her the damaged drawing, my head hung low in shame. “I’m so sorry, Grandma. It’s ruined.” But Grandma just smiled and took the drawing from my hands. “Oh, Tara, I think it’s wonderful. Look at all the colors Tammy added. It’s like a whole new story.” She then pulled me into a warm hug. “You know, the most precious thing about a gift isn’t its perfection, but the love behind it. Her words made me realize that love and understanding are more important than a perfect drawing. From that day on, I made a promise to be more patient with Tammy, to cherish the bond between us, because in the end, family love is what truly matters.
用Scene 2 和 3中所积累的句子来优化该段落
Sample
I gathered up the courage to walk over to Grandma. I showed her the damaged drawing, my head hung low in shame. “I’m so sorry, Grandma. It’s ruined.” But Grandma just smiled and took the drawing from my hands. “Oh, Tara, I think it’s wonderful. Look at all the colors Tammy added. It’s like a whole new story.” She then pulled me into a warm hug. “You know, the most precious thing about a gift isn’t its perfection, but the love behind it. Her words made me realize that love and understanding are more important than a perfect drawing. From that day on, I made a promise to be more patient with Tammy, to cherish the bond between us, because in the end, family love is what truly matters.
用Scene 2 和 3中所积累的句子来优化该段落
Standing in the room, Tammy and I faced each other. Tammy‘s eyes were filled with regret as she took a step forward. “I was wrong.” she said in a soft voice. I reached out and hugged Tammy, a relieved smile spreading across our faces, and the embrace seemed to wash away all our unhappiness and misunderstandings.Not until then did it dawn on me that the love within the family, like a warm hearth in the coldest winter, will melt away all the differences and arguments in life and I made a promise to be more patient with Tammy.
读后续写 –亲情，友情类
Part 4 Consolidation
一轮复习 写作指导 P88-90
评价修改
Self-assessment Peer-assessment self-correction
个人亲情类
叛逆期少女离家出走 父亲用爱融化叛逆情结
湖北省九师联盟 宜昌市协作体2024-2025学年高三上学期期中考试英语试题
原文分析
读后续写
原文审读
多篇范文呈现
解题思路分析
读后续写可积累文本
1. 原文赏析
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When my husband passed away last year，my world turned upside down．Richard and I had been together for over forty years，and suddenly，there was an unbearable blank where he used to be．So，when my son，James，and his wife，Natalie，invited me to live with them for a while，I wasn’t about to refuse．I think being with the grandkids will be healing．
They welcomed me with open arms，making me feel like part of their daily life．They insisted that they wanted to help me through this difficult time and when I moved in，I only took the essentials．The rest of my things were locked 30 minutes away at my home，locking away the memories of a life shared with Richard．
From the beginning，there was simply one rule for the kids and myself：“Please，all three of you，stay out of the basement（地下室），” James had said when we were sitting for dinner，his tone was gentle but firm．“There are some repairs being done，and it’s really dusty and messy down there．We don’t want any of you to get sick or hurt．Understood ”
The boys，John，6，and Eric，4，nodded．I understood James’ concern，too．I agreed without giving it much thought．It wasn’t like I had any reason to go down there anyway．
Living with them was an adjustment．John and Eric were everything I needed to keep me distracted while my heart healed and grew with love for my grandchildren．We had also gotten into a new routine，where every evening，we’d gather in the living room for story time．Nothing delighted me more than watching their eyes light up as I read to them．
We’d been reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for a few days now，and it had quickly become a favorite for them．One evening，I turned to the next chapter，and as I read about Harry discovering the hidden entrance to the chamber，Eric suddenly piped up，“Grandma! We have a Chamber of Secrets too! In the basement!”
注意：
1．续写词数应150左右：
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
I paused，glancing down at him unbelievably．
The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home．
Story Mountain
丈夫去世，生活失落，搬入儿子家。
孩子提到地下室的秘密，引发好奇。
地下室布置与过去的房间一模一样，充满回忆。
奶奶感动，感受到家人对她的爱与关怀。
奶奶重新燃起对生活的热爱，与家人更加亲密。
2、 原文审读 红色定从/定语；蓝色宾从；黄色状从，从句斜体；下划线+标黄单词+斜体 为需掌握积累单词、短语；黑体标黄，非谓语；可积累部分为 embody； 注释(定语从句)
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When my husband passed away last year(状从)，my world turned upside down．Richard and I had been together for over forty years，and suddenly，there was an unbearable blank where he used to be(定从)．So，when my son，James，and his wife，Natalie，invited me to live with them for a while，I wasn’t about to refuse．I think being with the grandkids will be healing(宾从)．
They welcomed me with open arms，making me feel like part of their daily life．They insisted that they wanted to help me through this difficult time (宾从)and when I moved in(状从)，I only took the essentials．The rest of my things were locked 30 minutes away at my home，locking away(状从) the memories of a life shared with Richard(非谓语动词做后置定语)．
From the beginning，there was simply one rule for the kids and myself：“Please，all three of you，stay out of the basement（地下室），” James had said when we were sitting for dinner(状从)，his tone was gentle but firm．“There are some repairs being done(非谓语动词做后置定语)，and it’s really dusty and messy down there．We don’t want any of you to get sick or hurt．Understood ”
The boys，John，6，and Eric，4，nodded．I understood James’ concern，too．I agreed without giving it much thought．It wasn’t like I had any reason to go down there anyway(宾从)．
Living with them was an adjustment．John and Eric were everything I needed to keep me distracted(定从) while my heart healed and grew with love for my grandchildren(状从)．We had also gotten into a new routine，where every evening，we’d gather in the living room for story time(定从)．Nothing delighted me more than watching their eyes(否定比较级=最高级) light up as I read to them．
We’d been reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for a few days now，and it had quickly become a favorite for them．One evening，I turned to the next chapter，and as I read about Harry(状从) discovering the hidden entrance to the chamber(非谓语动词做伴随动作)，Eric suddenly piped up，“Grandma! We have a Chamber of Secrets too! In the basement!”
注意：
1．续写词数应150左右：
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
I paused，glancing down at him unbelievably．
The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home．
1. 读后续写分类与构思分析
分类角度 内容 原文反应句
续写类型 温情类情感故事，通过亲情治愈失落的心灵。 "When my husband passed away last year, my world turned upside down."
构思与布局 1. 第一段：发现地下室的秘密，引出意外惊喜；
2. 第二段：表达情感，重拾对生活的希望和家庭的温暖。 "‘Grandma! We have a Chamber of Secrets too! In the basement!’"
提炼框架 原文中伏笔：“地下室秘密”，承接儿童的天真表达，引出地下室情感象征的场景。 "Please, all three of you, stay out of the basement."
实施建议 1. 延续原文语气和细节描写；
2. 通过心理、动作和环境描写表现转变的情感；
3. 以正向结局升华主题。 "Living with them was an adjustment."
承接原文注意事项 保持情感连贯；注意儿童语言的天真风格；地下室与回忆之间需有自然连接；不要偏离亲情治愈主题。 "We’d been reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for a few days now, and it had quickly become a favorite for them."
巧妙设计续写内容 1. 地下室布置成温馨回忆场景，引发感动；
2. 利用儿童角色语言推动情节，结局强调重拾对生活的热爱。 "The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home."
2. 故事山模式与原文分析
分析角度 内容 原文反应句
伏笔 地下室禁止进入，暗示秘密的存在。 "Please, all three of you, stay out of the basement."
冲突点 孙子无意中提到地下室秘密，引起奶奶的好奇心。 "‘Grandma! We have a Chamber of Secrets too! In the basement!’"
隐含线索 地下室可能是儿子为母亲布置的回忆场所，用来治愈母亲的伤痛。 "The rest of my things were locked 30 minutes away at my home."
解决方案 奶奶进入地下室，发现重温回忆的温馨布置，感受到家人的用心。 "The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home."
3: 推荐例句与词汇替换
描写类别 英文例句 高级替换词
动作描写 - She pushed the door open cautiously, her heart pounding in anticipation.
- Tears welled up in her eyes as she stepped inside.
- Her trembling hands traced the familiar patterns on the quilt. - cautiously → gingerly
- stepped → ventured
- trembling → quivering
心理描写 - Her heart ached at the sight of the room, but it was a comforting ache.
- Memories flooded back like an unstoppable tide.
- She felt a warm glow of gratitude spread through her chest. - ached → throbbed
- flooded → surged
- glow → radiance
环境描写 - The room smelled faintly of lavender, a scent that transported her back in time.
- The soft lighting cast a golden hue over the room.
- The carefully arranged furniture felt like a warm embrace. - smelled faintly → carried a whiff
- cast → bathed
- carefully → meticulously
4: 语法与搭配分析
语法现象 原文例句 搭配与语料
时态变化 "Living with them was an adjustment." - be an adjustment
- present continuous for ongoing actions
复合句使用 "They insisted that they wanted to help me through this difficult time." - insist that + 从句
- want to help + 宾语
词汇积累 - "unbearable blank" = intolerable void - blank (n.) = gap, void
- unbearable (adj.) = intolerable, insufferable
语料例句 - Her husband’s passing left an unbearable void in her life. - The soft lighting bathed the room in a nostalgic glow.
5. Possible Versions
I paused, glancing down at him unbelievably. Eric said he would show it to me. Before I could stop him, he jumped off the couch and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the basement door(非谓语动词做动作串). I called that we were not supposed to be going down here(宾从). “There it is!” Eric exclaimed, pointing toward a door hidden behind a large sheet of plastic(非谓语动词做伴随动作). I was curious and reached for the door handle. The door swung open with a soft creak, revealing a room(非谓语动词做伴随动作) that took my breath away(定从).
The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home. The familiar wallpaper and the same pattern of the bed were identical. But what truly made my heart sing(主从) was the photograph: Richard and I on our wedding day, smiling and yong, full of life(非谓语动词，adj补语). I stepped backward, tears streaming down my face(独立主格) as a thousand memories flooded back(状从). James and Natalie rushed down the staris, followed by John. James explained softly that they wanted to surprise me and didn’t want me to go back to my old house(宾从). They wanted me to have a space here that felt like home(定从). I hugged them and said in tears that I wanted them(宾从), too.
Version 2:
Paragraph 1: I paused, glancing down at him unbelievably(非谓语动词做伴随动作). “What do you mean ” I asked with a curious smile. The boys exchanged mischievous(adj.淘气的 naughty ) looks before leading me toward the forbidden basement. As I hesitated(状从), John tugged my hand and whispered, “You’ll love it, Grandma!” My heart raced as the door creaked open(状从).
Paragraph 2: The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home. Familiar photos lined the walls, and my favorite quilt was spread neatly on the bed. Tears filled my eyes as I turned to James(状从), who stood at the door(定从). “We thought it might help(宾从),” he said softly. My heart swelled with gratitude, and for the first time in months, I felt whole again.
· 亮点词汇短语：mischievous looks, creaked open, swelled with gratitude
· 升级替换词：tears filled → welled up; felt whole → felt complete
Version 3:
Paragraph 1: I paused, glancing down at him unbelievably(非谓语动词做伴随动作) “Really What makes you say that ” I asked, trying to mask my curiosity(非谓语动词做伴随动作). Eric grinned and whispered, “There’s a big surprise!” Unable to resist their excitement(adj做主语补语), I allowed the boys to lead me to the basement. The moment we stepped inside(状从), the dim light flickered on, revealing(非谓语动词做伴随动作) a space that looked astonishingly familiar(定从).
Paragraph 2: The room was a perfect copy of my own bedroom back home, from the floral curtains to the antique clock on the dresser. The faint scent of lavender hung in the air, just as it had for years in my old room(状从). Overwhelmed by emotions(非谓语动词做原因状语), I turned to James, who was standing behind me with a soft smile(定从). “We wanted to bring your memories closer to you,” he said. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized how much love and effort they had poured into this gesture(状从含宾从含定从).
· 情绪描写：mask my curiosity, overwhelmed by emotions, tears welled up
· 动作描写：grinned, whispered, flickered on
· 环境描写：dim light, floral curtains, faint scent of lavender
Version 3
Paragraph 1: I paused, glancing down at him unbelievably(非谓语动词做伴随动作)“Are you sure about that ” I asked, feigning(vt.假装) suspicion(非谓语动词做伴随动作). The boys nodded eagerly, their small hands tugging at mine(独立主格). “Come and see!” they chimed in(加入，配合，一致) unison(n.合奏，合唱). Despite James’ earlier warning, their enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself descending the stairs with them. The door opened, and I froze in surprise.
Paragraph 2: The basement had been transformed into a replica of my old bedroom. Familiar books lined the shelves, and my favorite armchair sat invitingly in the corner. A warm glow from the lamp lit up the room, casting shadows that felt like old friends(非谓语动词做伴随动作). “We thought this might help you feel at home,” James said from behind me. My voice caught in my throat as I murmured(状从), “It’s perfect.” Love and gratitude filled my heart as I embraced my boys(状从), thankful for a family that understood me so deeply(定从).
亮点分析
· 情绪描写：infectious enthusiasm, froze in surprise, love and gratitude filled my heart
· 动作描写：feigning suspicion, tugging, descending
· 环境描写：replica of my old bedroom, warm glow, shadows that felt like old friends
1. 原文赏析
第二节（满分25分）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“Daddy, I want to ask your permission to study in America,” I said to my father a few months before my graduation from high school. But hardly before I finished, he shouted, “No!”
“But why ” I replied. “If you are worried about money, it will be OK since I have got a scholarship...”
But he refused to give in. At the moment, I didn’t know what to say. For more than two years, I had been working very hard to pass all the necessary examinations. I had not told my father because I wanted to give him a pleasant surprise. I thought he would be very proud of me because it was many of my classmates’ parents’ dream to send their children to study abroad.
“Why do I have to get your permission I am already 18 and I’m not a kid anymore,” I said angrily and rushed to my bedroom, shutting the door violently. Blinded by anger, I found that I could not stay at my hometown any longer. Late that night, I slipped out of the house and decided to take the bus to the railway station to start my own life as far away from my home as possible.
The bus stop was just two blocks away from my home. When I got there, I found that I forgot to take any money with me and missed the last bus. I did not want to go back home, so I sat down on the bench and closed my eyes to have a break.
Suddenly, I was woken up by my phone. I looked around and found the road was deserted and the street was so quiet that I regretted that I had left home in such a hurry. I picked up the phone and answered the phone even without checking the number.
“Have you had a good sleep It’s going to rain. Shall we go home now ”
注意：1.续写词数应为150个左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: It was my father’s voice!
Paragraph 2: I grabbed my bag and hurried toward him.
2、 原文审读 红色定从/定语；蓝色宾从；黄色状从，从句斜体；下划线+标黄单词+斜体 为需掌握积累单词、短语；黑体标黄，非谓语；可积累部分为 embody； 注释(定语从句)
“Daddy, I want to ask your permission to study in America,” I said to my father a few months before my graduation from high school. But hardly before I finished, he shouted, “No!”
“But why ” I replied. “If you are worried about money(状从), it will be OK since I have got a scholarship...”
But he refused to give in. At the moment, I didn’t know what to say(宾从). For more than two years, I had been working very hard to pass all the necessary examinations. I had not told my father because I wanted to give him a pleasant surprise(状从). I thought he would be very proud of me(宾从) because it was many of my classmates’ parents’ dream to send their children to study abroad(状从).
“Why do I have to get your permission I am already 18 and I’m not a kid anymore,” I said angrily and rushed to my bedroom, shutting the door violently(非谓语动词短语做伴随动作). Blinded by anger(非谓语动词短语做原因状语), I found that I could not stay at my hometown any longer(宾从). Late that night, I slipped out of the house and decided to take the bus to the railway station to start my own life as far away from my home as possible.
The bus stop was just two blocks away from my home. When I got there(状从), I found that I forgot to take any money with me and missed the last bus(宾从). I did not want to go back home, so I sat down on the bench and closed my eyes to have a break(状从).
Suddenly, I was woken up by my phone. I looked around and found the road was deserted and the street was so quiet(宾从) that I regretted that I had left home in such a hurry(目的状从+宾从). I picked up the phone and answered the phone even without checking the number.
“Have you had a good sleep It’s going to rain. Shall we go home now ”
注意：1.续写词数应为150个左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: It was my father’s voice!

Paragraph 2: I grabbed my bag and hurried toward him.
1. 高中语法现象
- 倒装句：如“Hardly before I finished...”（否定副词放句首，主谓倒装）。
- 情态动词：如“shall we go home now ”表示提议和建议。
- 强调句型：如“Why do I have to get your permission ”（do用于加强语气）。
- 现在完成时：如“I have got a scholarship...”（描述过去对现在的影响）。
- 宾语从句：如“I thought he would be very proud of me...”
- 非谓语动词：如“Blinded by anger...”（过去分词作状语）。
2. 常见搭配与可积累语料
- 常见搭配：
- ask one’s permission to do something（请求某人许可做某事）
- give in（让步）
- take the bus to（乘车去某地）
- proud of someone（为某人感到骄傲）
- 可积累语料：
- I didn’t know what to say.（表达无语或惊讶）
- It was going to rain.（预示天气变化）
- I regretted that I had left home...（表示后悔的句式）。

1. 构思框架
根据高考读后续写要求，情节发展需要承接原文并适当拓展：
- 核心情节：父亲找到主人公、父女关系化解，主人公理解父亲的出发点，父亲支持主人公的梦想。
- 段落设计：
1. 父亲的语气、态度及主人公的心理变化（惊讶、感动）。
2. 父女回家路上的对话，化解矛盾，父亲表露关心，主人公承诺努力。
2. 注意事项
- 情感流露：需体现父爱的无声关怀和主人公的成长。
- 衔接连贯：采用代词、逻辑词承接，例如“then,” “however,” “finally”。
- 细节描写：如环境、动作、心理描写，增加画面感。
动作描写：
1. He extended his hand to me, his face soft with concern.
2. I grabbed my bag and rushed toward him without a second thought.
3. He gently draped his jacket over my shoulders to keep me warm.

心理描写：
1. My heart skipped a beat as I realized it was my father’s voice.
2. Guilt washed over me as I thought about my impulsive decision.
3. Gratitude filled my heart when I saw him standing there in the rain.

环境描写：
1. The streetlights cast a dim glow on the wet pavement.
2. A cold wind whispered through the empty street, sending chills down my spine.
3. The first drops of rain began to fall, dotting the ground with dark spots.
文章类型分类
该文章属于亲情类续写，需要重点突出情感的表达和人物关系的变化。

巧妙设计续写内容与方向
1. 强调父亲的无私关怀，例如为了保护孩子深夜外出寻找。
2. 主人公的情感成长，从叛逆到理解与感恩。
3. 巧用自然环境（雨夜）衬托情感氛围。
Possible Answer 1
Paragraph 1:
It was my father’s voice! I froze in disbelief, clutching my phone tightly. My father was never one to show his emotions openly, but his familiar tone was filled with worry. “I’m sorry, Dad,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He sighed heavily, but his voice softened. “I know, but you scared me. Let’s talk this through at home.”

Paragraph 2:
I grabbed my bag and hurried toward him, tears streaming down my face. When I saw him standing under the streetlight, holding an umbrella, I felt a surge of relief. He opened his arms, and I ran into them, sobbing. On the way home, he told me he only wanted the best for me, and I realized how much he cared. That night, we reached an understanding, and I promised to never shut him out again.
语料升级与替换
- 短语替换：
- ask one’s permission → seek one’s approval
- give in → compromise
- 词汇升级：
- angry → furious
- regret → remorse
两种构思方法
“四到一行”
“线索呼应”
看 听 想 说 做
找出线索，前后呼应
“两法六句”
第一步 依据首句，构思框架
两段首句定一框，二框二首正能量。
(1) 读懂两段首句
第一段首句后的衔接句、第一段尾句 、第二段首句后的衔接句。
即第二段的尾句——能体现故事圆满结局的句子或故事给我们启示的句子。
(2) 写好三个衔接句
(3) 写好一个升华句
1. 高中语法现象分析
- 间接引语
- 示例：“Daddy, I want to ask your permission to study in America,” I said to my father...
- 特点：直接引语用双引号包裹，展示人物对话。
- 可积累语料：
- ask sb. for permission to do sth.
- said to sb.
- 倒装句
- 示例：Hardly before I finished, he shouted...
- 特点：表示否定意义的副词开头时需用部分倒装

- 原因状语从句
- 示例：If you are worried about money, it will be OK...
- 特点：使用从句解释因果关系。
- 可积累语料：
- If you are worried about..., it will be fine.

- 定语从句
- 示例：I thought he would be very proud of me because it was many of my classmates’ parents’ dream to send their children to study abroad.
- 特点：定语从句修饰名词 dream。
2. 常见搭配与可积累语料
- ask permission to do sth.
- refuse to give in
- rush to one’s bedroom
- miss the last bus
- slip out of the house
- pick up the phone
Version 3：
My grandmother had to repeatedly remind me to be patient. “Good art takes time,” she said with a knowing smile. Despite her encouragement, I often felt overwhelmed by the blank canvas in front of me. Slowly but surely, I followed her advice, experimenting with brushes and colors(非谓语动词做伴随动作). Each mistake became a lesson, and each attempt brought me closer to understanding the beauty of self-expression. One day, I completed a painting of a tree standing against a golden sunset(非谓语动词短语做后置定语). My grandmother’s eyes sparkled with pride as she said, “See You’ve got the soul of an artist.(as状从)”
Word came that a painting competition would be held in our school. Remembering my grandmother’s encouragement, I signed up. My entry, a depiction of a quiet winter morning, was inspired by my time at her studio. The competition was fierce, and as I stood among other talented students(as状从), doubt crept in. But when the judges announced my name as the runner-up(when状从), I felt a wave of happiness and gratitude. My grandmother’s teachings had brought me here, and I knew this was just the beginning of my journey in art(宾从).
1. 构思框架
续写应以情节发展和情感升华为核心：
- Paragraph 1: 父亲在电话中询问女儿状况，语气关心但含蓄，表现父亲对女儿的爱与担忧。女儿听到父亲声音后情绪复杂，意识到自己鲁莽的行为。
- Paragraph 2: 父亲到达车站，父女重逢并冰释前嫌。结尾可点出父亲的包容与爱，女儿理解父亲的初衷。
2. 提炼框架要点
- 父亲如何找到女儿？体现父亲的用心与紧张情绪。
- 女儿如何反应？表现心理转变（从叛逆到后悔）。
- 重逢场景的环境、动作、情绪描写。
3. 实施要点
- 注意人物心理变化的渐进性，不要过于跳跃。
- 结尾升华主题，可通过细节暗示父爱的深沉。
4. 注意事项
- 时态以过去时为主，偶尔使用过去完成时。
- 人物对话符合语境，避免生硬。
- 不要忽略环境描写的作用，用以渲染情感氛围。
Paragraph 1
It was my father’s voice! My heart froze as a whirlwind of emotions swept through me—shock, relief, and guilt all at once. “Dad,” I whispered, barely able to form words. “How did you find me ” His voice, steady but tinged with concern, replied, “I’ve always known where to find you. You’re my daughter; no matter where you go, I’ll follow.” The weight of his words pressed on my chest, and a lump formed in my throat. How blind I had been to his silent love and care, masked by his stern demeanor.
Paragraph 2
I grabbed my bag and hurried toward him, my legs trembling with each step. The sight of him standing under the streetlight, his figure silhouetted against the faint glow, struck me like a poignant painting. “I’m sorry, Dad,” I murmured, tears spilling down my cheeks as the rain began to fall. Without hesitation, he opened his umbrella and held it over me, shielding me from the cold drops. “Let’s talk at home,” he said, his voice softer than ever. That night, as we sat together, he explained his fears—fears of losing me, fears of the unknown. It dawned on me that his refusal stemmed not from lack of support but from overwhelming love.

Paragraph 1
It was my father’s voice! The moment I heard it, a wave of guilt crashed over me. My rebellion seemed so petty under the moon’s pale light. “Dad ” I said hesitantly, clutching the phone tighter. His voice was calm, but I could sense the exhaustion in it. “It’s late. You must be cold. Let’s go home,” he said. The simplicity of his words pierced through the wall of anger I had built. How foolish I was to think he didn’t care! I realized that his love was not in words but in actions—steady, unwavering, and always present.
Paragraph 2
I grabbed my bag and hurried toward him, my steps quickening as the drizzle turned into a downpour. As I approached, I saw him standing in the rain, holding a flashlight to guide me. “Dad!” I called out, my voice cracking with emotion. He turned and smiled faintly, his face etched with concern and relief. “You’ve grown up, but to me, you’ll always be my little girl,” he said, pulling off his jacket to drape it over my shoulders. That night, back home, we talked for hours. For the first time, I saw the world from his perspective, and he listened to my dreams with an open heart. In the end, we found common ground, proving that love doesn’t always require agreement—it simply requires understanding.
1. 高分词汇与短语
- A whirlwind of emotions swept through me (情感描写)
- Steady but tinged with concern (修辞手法)
- Pierced through the wall of anger I had built (隐喻)
- His figure silhouetted against the faint glow (环境描写)
- Dawned on me (常用高频表达)

2. 修辞方法
- 比喻与拟人：a wave of guilt crashed over me
- 对比：父亲的严厉与关爱之间的矛盾体现情感深度。
- 反复：No matter where you go, I’ll follow 强调父爱的无私与坚定。

3. 语法点覆盖
- 倒装：How blind I had been to his silent love!
- 感叹句：What a fool I had been!
- 现在完成时：It dawned on me that his refusal stemmed from love.
- 定语从句：The sight of him standing under the streetlight...
环境描写
高分技巧
情绪描写
心理描写
介词+情绪词，in/with/out of /to
无灵主语句
状语从句/定语从句
非谓语动词 doing / feeling做伴随动作
副词或形容词做状语；adv,或 a.+ a.
强调/倒装/感叹句
独立主格，with复合结构
非谓语动词 doing / feeling做伴随动作
亮点动词; mirror/ linger / echo etc.
Alice sat in the clear morning light, drinking coffee on the back deck (露 台) of her home. She had been living alone since her husband passed away four years ago.
Before she could have a second cup of coffee, she received a message from her daughter in Auckland. Harrison and Brooke were arriving on the midday bus. Was she still OK to collect them Of course, she texted back. A year had passed since she'd last seen her grandchildren and she was looking forward to their visit over the school break.
Fifteen-year-old Harrison was first off the bus. Behind him came Brooke, dressed in pink. Alice held Brooke close, and then drove them home.
In the evening, Harrison and Brooke had their dinner quickly. Alice wanted to catch up with their news, but they said there was nothing much to tell.
After clearing dishes, Alice found Harrison relaxed on the sofa, his attention glued to a video game while Brooke sat on her bed, fully interesting than hers. focused on her phone as though everyone else's life was so much more to gro
Alice shook her head quietly. She'd been so looking forward to her grandchildren's company, but they didn't secm to want hers.
She turned on the television for company. Suddenly, a crack of lightning (一道闪电) lit up the room and rain began to beat against the window. Then the power went out. The two kids seemed to be afraid. Alice offered words of comfort.
The power was still not on the next day. Making use of the chance, Alice suggested a barbecue lunch. She prepared a salad quickly and was about to take sausages (香肠) out to the deck when another idea came to mind. “How would you like to cook these over an open fire ”
Harrison and Brooke looked at each other, curious(好奇的) about the unexpected suggestion._____________
As Alice sat around the fire with her grandchildren, a warmth began to grow between them.________________
5 W 1 H
01
Step 1 Reading
读什么
5W1H分析故事
when what
where how narrative perspective:
writing style:
who why the purpose of the text:
the next day of power going out
at Alice’s home
Alice, Harrison, Brooke
story mountain
third-person
tell in simple
accompany and love between family members
文章脉络梳理(story mountain)
Para1: Alice sat by the window, lonely.
Para2-para3: Alice got a message from her daughter,picking up his grandson in the station, expected and excited.
Para4-para6: Alice wanted to communicate with them, however, they all ignored her, depressed and sad.
Para7-para8: Power went out, which made his children scared. She suggested a barbecue lunch.
Harrison and Brooke’s response about this suggestion
what about the emotion in their heart finally
感情线梳理
Alice : 独自一人时孤独—-——初见孙子时开心————相处时受冷落失望——停电后给孙子安慰，孙子有所回应后感情应该如何走向？
Harrison and Brooke：初见奶奶时漠然——停电后对奶奶依赖增强———户外烧烤后情感会怎么变化？
Alice渴望外孙子Harison和外孙女 Brooke的陪伴,但是Harrison沉迷于电子游戏,而Brooke 全神贯注于手机。一道闪电过后,家里停电了。第二天仍没有电，Alice建议组织一次烧烤，于是询问Hamison 和Brooke是否愿意加入……根据故事情节和续写首句可知,Harrison和Brooke接受了外祖母的建议。第一部分学生应围绕烤香肠的情景展开,可以描述祖孙三人之间的互动;第二部分应该是文章主题的升华,续写首句中的“warmth”是关键词,学生应该在这一部分点明“停电”意外拉近了祖孙三人的距离,这次烧烤也成为了祖孙三人难忘的回忆。
写作提醒：
Paragraph 1:
Harrison and Brooke looked at each other, curious(好奇的) about the unexpected suggestion.
Act it out
Paragraph2：
As Alice sat around the fire with her grandchildren, a warmth began to grow between them.
1.承上:对于Alice的提议孙子、孙女能不能接受 （动作语言描写）
2.接受后大家的行动如何(搬东西,一起收拾)
3.环境与心情描写
4.启下:大家开始一起坐着烧烤
1.承上:描写大家坐着一起聊天，动作表现。
2.奶奶心情已经变得开心
3.孙子、孙女意识到对奶奶的爱应该多陪伴.
4.主旨升华：陪伴是对奶奶最好的爱
the relationship is fixed
练习：
动作表达：
1.主语+动作1+动作2 and 动作3
翻译：Alice拿着工具，向外走去然后把工具放在了地上。
_______________________________________________
2. 主语+谓语动词，非谓语动词+其他
翻译：他们谈论着原来的记忆，分享着幸福和快乐。
____________________________________________________
Alice took the tools, walked out and put the tools on the ground.
They talked about old memories, sharing happiness and joy.
练习：
情绪表达
1. sb. felt a great sense of +情绪名词+ welling up in sb's heart
翻译：Alice感觉有一股暖流在心里蔓延。
__________________________________________________
2.adj.+adj. ,主语+谓语+其他
翻译：既期待又兴奋，他们接受了这个建议。
__________________________________________________
Alice felt a great sense of warmth welling up in her heart .
Expected and delighted, they accepted the suggestion.
练习：
加分表达
1. It is +强调部分+that
翻译：是陪伴和爱让家人更加亲密。
___________________________________________________________
2.With+宾语(名词或者代词)+宾补（to do / doing/ done/ adj./介词短语），+主语+谓语动词+其他
翻译：Harrison 带着激动的声音问道。
___________________________________________________________
3.Not only...but also 中not only 放句首，句子使用半倒装（助动词或情态动词+主语+实义动词）
翻译：这次停电不仅带给带给他们品尝美食的机会也让他们更加亲密。
___________________________________________________________
It is love and accompany that make the family closer and closer.
With an exciting vioce, Harrison asked:....
Not only did it bring a chance to taste the delicioous food, but also it made them closer.
One possible version:
Harrison and Brooke looked at each other: curious about the unexpected suggestion. They agreed to give it a try, Alice led them to the backyard where she taught them how to start a fire. Then she handed each of them asausage. With a newfound sense of excitement, Harrison and Brooke carefully held their sausages over the open fire. As they waited for the food to cook, Alice shared stories of her own childhood that brought laughter and smiles to their faces. The good smell of the barbecue filled the air, mixing with the sounds of burning wood.
As Alice sat around the fire with her grandchildren a warmth began to grow between them. The barrier of screens had been momentarily broken, giving way to thesimple pleasure of shared experiences. They laughed, talked, and enjoyed the smoky sausages. At that moment, Alice felt a sense of connection and happiness. The power failure had unexpectedly become a chance to rediscover the beauty of face-to-face communication and the family connections that can be strengthened when technology takes a back seat to the present moment.

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