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新仁爱版八年级上Unit1话题作文“My Dream Job”
一、书面表达题目：假设你是李华，请根据下面表格的提示信息，以 “My Dream Job” 为题，写一篇英语短文，与同学分享你梦想的职业。词数 80 个左右。
My Dream Job
What you are like helpful
What you want to be a doctor
What you will do 1. at school 2. at work
分析：what：我的梦想中的工作，尽量入题，也可以用定语从句
范文：
I am a helpful person who is always ready to assist others when they are in need.
My dream job is to be a doctor. Doctors play a crucial role in people's lives because they can cure diseases and save lives. To make my dream come true, I will study hard at school. I will focus on subjects like biology and chemistry, as they are very important for a future doctor.
When I become a doctor, I will try my best to help every patient. I believe that as long as I keep working hard and never give up, my dream will surely come true. And I'm confident that being a doctor will not only let me help others but also make my life meaningful.（125个词）
二、1.学生一作文：
I'm li Hua. I feel like being a doctor in the future.
I'm helpful and always try my best to help others.So I want to be a doctor to help more people get rid of illness.
There are some things I will do.At school，I am going to make a plan about how can I become a doctor and follow it. I will make every effort to study biology hard as well.It's saying goes “no pain no gain”.I also will keep going after all I meets many challenges at work.
I am sure that my dream will come true. (100个词）
修改后的满分作文
As a student who always cares about others’ health, I have a clear dream.That is to become a doctor in the future.
I made this decision last year, when I saw a doctor patiently(耐心地） comfort a sick child and help him recover（康复）. That moment brought me an idea that doctors do not just treat(治愈） illnesses—they bring hope to families. To achieve（获得） this goal（目标）, I first make a clear study plan that focuses on biology and chemistry, as these subjects lay a solid foundation(基础） for medical studies. I also volunteer（当志愿者） at a community clinic （社区诊所）on weekends to learn basic care skills.
Challenges like heavy study tasks may come, but I will never give up. I believe my dream will come true one day, and I can make a difference in people’s life.（167）
2.学生二习作：
优点：有一定的内容逻辑，能阐述梦想职业的转变及为梦想付出的努力。
不足：语法错误较多（如 “my mother told me doctor can help sick people” 表述错误，“about help sick people” 介词后动词形式错误等）；词汇较简单，缺乏高级词汇；逻辑连贯性欠佳，部分句子衔接不自然；内容细节不够丰富，对想成为医生的原因和为梦想努力的描述比较笼统。
修改后的满分作文My Dream Job
A few years ago, I hoped(aspired期待） to be a taikonaut as I dreamed of traveling in space one day. But now, my dream job is to be a doctor, which was inspired（激励） by my mother. When I was five, my mother told me that doctors, who are like angels in white, can help sick people get rid of pain and regain（重获） health. Since then, I've been deeply interested in this noble（崇高的） profession.
To make my dream come true, I'll study actively at school, focusing on subjects like biology and chemistry. Meanwhile, I'm going to join the medical club in my school, where I can make friends with peers(同龄人） who share the same passion（热情） and learn medical knowledge about treating patients（病人）. I know becoming a doctor is arduous(艰难的） and I will encounter（遇见=meet) numerous(无数的=many） challenges, but I'll never give up. I'm determined（决心） to try my best to make my dream come true.（196）
3.学生三习作：
问题：存在大量语法错误（如 “She often don't allow”“there are have” 等错误表达）；逻辑混乱，开头提及想当房屋设计师，后续又说想当医生，主题不统一；句子结构简单，词汇匮乏，且内容缺乏细节，表述很不流畅。
修改后的满分作文My Dream Job
I want to be a doctor, inspired(被激励） by my mother who is a dedicated（尽心尽力） doctor. She works in a hospital, where she works with nurses and helps many patients every day. Since I was little, I've admired(钦佩） her as she devotes（奉献） herself to relieving（减轻） people's pain.
To achieve this dream, I'll study diligently（勤奋地） at school, especially in biology and chemistry. Also, I've joined the health club in my school, which provides a great platform for me to gain medical knowledge and interact(互动） with like-minded（相同想法的） classmates. Though becoming a doctor is challenging, I'll never give up. I'm determined（下定决心） to make my dream come true.（145）
4.学生四习作：
问题：语法错误较多（如“Everyone all”“differents”“idears”等错误拼写，“to talking”“need to reading”等错误表达）；句子结构简单，逻辑不够清晰，内容表述较混乱，词汇也比较基础和单一。
修改后的作文My Dream Job
Everyone has different dream jobs. As for me, I want to be a writer in the future.
Writers always have unique(（独特的） ideas about the world, which they write down to share with people. These ideas turn into texts, and some excellent texts can purify（净化） people's minds, making them happy or relaxed. In my opinion, writers need to read a lot of books. I like reading very much and I always keep writing. I even try to act out the characters in the books.
I know it's not easy to become a writer and I will encounter（遇见=meet) plenty of difficulties. However, my dream will come true one day as long as I persist(坚持=insist).
其他梦想职业的写法
My Dream Job: A Kind-hearted Teacher （老师）
My dream job is to be a teacher. Teachers light the way for students like candles.
Every day, I’d prepare interesting lessons to make math fun and stories lively. I’d listen to my students’ worries, whether about homework or friends. When they make progress, I’ll cheer for them; when they fail, I’ll encourage them to try again. I want to help them grow not just in knowledge, but also in kindness.
Being a teacher means sharing love and hope. I’ll study hard now to turn this dream into reality.
My Dream Job: A Brave Policeman(警察）
If someone asks me about my dream job, I’ll say “a policeman” without hesitation（毫不犹豫）.
Policemen keep our neighborhoods safe. They catch bad guys, help people in danger, and guide traffic when it’s busy. Once I saw a policeman save an old lady from a falling bike—his quick action made me admire him. To be a policeman, I need to be strong and brave. Now I exercise every day and learn to stay calm.
I hope one day I can wear the uniform, stand tall, and protect the people I love.
My Dream Job: A Caring Dog Trainer（训犬师）
My dream job is to be a dog trainer. I love dogs—they’re loyal（忠诚） and full of energy（能量）.
A good trainer can help dogs learn good habits, like not barking loudly or following orders. I’d spend time playing with them, understanding their feelings, and teaching them gently. When a shy dog starts to trust people, or a naughty dog becomes well-behaved, I’ll feel so proud. To make this dream come true, I’m reading books about dog behavior now.
I hope I can build a happy bridge（桥梁） between dogs and humans.
My Dream Job: A Creative Baker（烘焙师）
I want to be a baker when I grow up. There’s nothing better than making warm, sweet bread and cakes that make people smile.
Early in the morning, I’ll mix flour, eggs, and sugar, then wait for the dough to rise. I’ll decorate cakes with colorful cream—like little rainbows or cute animals. When customers take a bite and say “delicious,” my heart will be full of joy. Baking needs patience and creativity. Now I practice making cookies at home.
I hope one day I’ll have my own small bakery, filling every corner with the smell of happiness.
My Dream Job: A Helpful Nurse（护士）
My dream job is to be a nurse.
Nurses take care of sick people and help them get better. When patients feel sad or painful, nurses comfort them with kind words and gentle care. I want to be the one who brings warm water to a patient, checks their temperature carefully, and tells them “you’ll be fine soon.” To be a nurse, I need to learn lots of medical knowledge and stay calm in busy times. Now I pay attention in science class and help my grandma when she’s not feeling well.
I hope I can wear the white uniform and be a “guardian of health.”

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