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(共35张PPT)
细节魔法师——6招让应用文从干瘪到满分！
恰当添加 锦上添花
根据高考英语作文的评分标准, 作文被分成了五个档次.其中分数较高的档次对于考生作文的要求都涉及了覆盖所有内容要点、使用较多语法结构和词汇、有效使用语句间的连接成分.其实, 还有一个重要的方面,那就是在作文中要注意细节的适当增加。
列举具体的实例进行补充说明
MAGIC
增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容
细节魔法师
1
3
增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容
适当增加与所给信息相关的原因、结果、条件、让步、手段、目的等内容
2
4
结尾适当发挥,写出个人感受、评价、希望、愿景、倡议等
5
加谚语
5
6
01
列举具体的实例
进行补充说明
PART
Chinese traditional culture is various,
.
1.中国传统文化是多样化的。
such as Peking Opera,Han costumes and Tang Poetry
such as, for example, .....and so on.
2.I like reading books, .
.
3.我要花一些时间和父母在一起。
I'll spend some time staying with my parents,
.
such as novels, short stories,
magazines and newspapers.
chatting with them and doing some housework.
4.We teenagers should do what we can to protect the environment and save the earth. .
.
.
For example, we can use recyclable bags, plant more trees and save water and energy.
02
增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容
PART
1.知道你的英国朋友在中国不知如何学好中文。
I to know that you do not how to learn Chinese well.
2.邀请你的英国朋友参加音乐节。
I am tell you that a Music Festival will be held in our school.
3.同学们去买零食。
The classmates go to buy some snacks.
Many classmates to buy some snacks.
am quite sorry
so glad to
ran as quickly as possible
在邀请信,请求建议或请求帮助的文体中,在提出主题前,先背景渲染.
It is said that you are interested in........
I know you are good at....
It is believed that you are warm-hearted and .....
I am more than delighted to hear that you are dying to……
03
增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容
PART
时间:Monday. Friday. Sunday. March. April.May.December.
from 9a.m to 11a.m / last 3 hours
地点:the school hall, library. the meeting room.
the school gate. the shop. the playground.
1.同学们去买零食
,many classmates ran as quickly as possible to buy some snacks.
2.你校计划举一个主题班会
Our school is planning to hold a class meeting.
after class/school
to the shop
Our school is planning to hold a class meeting
.
in the school hall on May 4th.
04
适当增加与所给信息相关的原因、结果、条件、让步、手段、目的等内容
PART
1.留言条：我们的见面取消 。
I am sorry to tell you that I couldn’t meet you .
I am sorry to tell you that I couldn’t meet you at the library tomorrow as I have something important to deal with.
地点&时间
原因
I am sorry to tell you that I couldn’t meet you at the library tomorrow
There are several reasons for this. The reason for…is that…
The reasons are as follows. The reason why… is that
2.感谢给予如何学习英语建议。
Thank you for your advice on how to learn English.
结果
Thank you for your advice on how to
learn English.Recently, I have made
great progress in English and my
teacher thought highly of me.
the advantages of an activity
1. make many good friends.
2. widen/open our eyes/horizon.
3. be good for/be beneficial to us mentally and
physicially.
4.develop the awareness of
5.have a good knowdege/understanding/command of
结果
条件
3.邀外教Lucy去敬老院。
如果你能来,请让我们知道,我们上午九点会在门口等你.
____________________________, please let us know
and we'll wait for you at the gate at 9 in the morning.
If you are able to come with us
4.如果你需要更多信息一定要让我知道.谢谢.
do let me know _______________________________________
if you need further information.Thank you!
6.暑假想去一家外资公司兼职。
______________________________________, I am
planning to take a part-time job in a foreign company.
In order to get some practical experience
目的
7. I often join in many activities .
.
in order to
communicate with other students and broaden my
mind.
8.______________________________________, you
should practise speaking English every morning.
In order to improve my English.
so as to develop the awareness of ...
in order to...
for the purpose of arising the interest in learning...
for the sake of ....
目的
05
结尾适当发挥,写出个人感受、评价、希望、愿景、倡议等
PART
we should call on people to cherish every drop of water. Otherwise, maybe the last drops of water will be our tears.
With everyone doing his bit, we can make a difference.
Don’t hesitate. It will be great fun!
Don’t wait. Join us now!
Start to join us now!
1
2
3
I think such activities are necessary and meaningful.
With everyone's contribution, we can make our a
comfortable learning environment.
4
5
06
加谚语
PART
1. 锻炼对学生有好处
It is good for us students to take exercise.
2. We should study hard.
3.keep a balanced diet,eat more fruit and vegetable
but less meat and junk food.
As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” It is good for us students to take exercise.
As we all know, “Practice makes perfect”. So we
should study hard.
An apple a day keeps
the doctor away
Where there is a will,there is a way.有志者事竟成。
Think twice before you do.三思而后行。
No pains,no gains.没有付出，就没有回报。
When in Roman,do as the Romans do.入乡随俗。
Do it now.机不可失，时不再来。
Failure is the mother of success.失败是成功之母。
It is no use crying over spilt milk.覆水难收。
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
一天一个苹果， 医生远离我。
All roads lead to Rome.条条大路通罗马。
Each coin has two sides.
Summary
列举具体的实例进行补充说明
MAGIC
增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容
细节魔法师
1
3
增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容
适当增加与所给信息相关的原因、结果、条件、让步、手段、目的等内容
2
4
结尾适当发挥,写出个人感受、评价、希望、愿景、倡议等
5
加谚语
5
6
强调无关细节会干扰主题表达，降低文章质量。
红灯停：无关细节
强调精准服务题干的重要性，紧扣题干要求，确保文章内容与主题紧密相关，提高文章的针对性和得分率。
绿灯行：精准服务题干
避免过度扩展，避免每个要点超过2句，保持文章简洁明了，突出重点，确保文章结构合理。
黄灯慎：过度扩展
三大原则交通灯
防翻车指南
Practice
Practice makes perfect
链接高考(全国卷I)
假定你是李华，希望通过外籍教师Peter找一个英语笔友。请写一封短信，描述一下你理想中笔友的条件，并说明为什么选这样的笔友。具体条件包括：
1.年龄；2.性别；3.爱好（旅游、运动、宠物等）。
I want to have a pen friend , a girl in her early twenties, and with interests similar to mine. she is someone who is interested in traveling, sports and keeping pets.
要点齐全!语言正确!
3232字
字
1.背景渲染 7.选这样的笔友原因
2.目的 8.交这样的笔友结果
3.年龄+列数据 9.期待回复
4.爱好旅游+举例(时间&地点) 10.段落安排
5. 爱好运动+举例(项目,时间)
6.喜欢养宠物+举例(宠物名,时间)
假定你是李华，希望通过外籍教师Peter找一个英语笔友。请写一封短信，描述一下你理想中笔友的条件，并说明为什么选这样的笔友。具体条件包括：
1.年龄； 2.性别； 3.爱好（旅游、运动、宠物等）。
I have another hobby that is keeping pets. I have kept
a lovely dog named Bei Bei for 3 years.
I am a healthy boy full of energy so I like sports very
much, especially outdoor activities. Whenever I have
time, I’ll go hiking or mountain climbing with my
classmates.
I like to seek a pen pal who is interested in travelling just like me. If possible, we can travel together or share traveling experiences in our e-mails.
Dear Peter,
It is said that you have many English friends .I’m writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I want to have a pen friend, hopefully a girl in her early twenties, and with interests similar to mine. In my mind, she is someone who is interested in traveling, swimming, and playing table tennis. Besides, it would be better for her to have a pet dog as I have kept one at home . With such a pen friend, I think I can share with her our traveling experiences, taking care of pets, or whatever we have in common. And I believe I will improve my English by doing so and learn more about her country.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best regards,
Yours,
Li Hua
Dear Peter,
It is said that you have many English friends .I’m writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I want to have a pen friend, hopefully a girl in her early twenties, and with interests similar to mine. In my mind, she is someone who is interested in traveling, swimming, and playing table tennis. Besides, it would be better for her to have a pet dog as I have kept one at home . With such a pen friend, I think I can share with her our traveling experiences, taking care of pets, or whatever we have in common. And I believe I will improve my English by doing so and learn more about her country.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best regards,
Yours,
Li Hua
增加例证
增加原因
增加结果
背景渲染
目的
列数据
能力提升——请适当增加细节
Yesterday I went to the Friendship Store. I saw a foreigner buying clothes. He spoke English. The shop assistant couldn’t understand him. I translated for them. They said thanks to me. I think the shop assistant should know foreign language.
Homework
THANK YOU

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