资源简介

2023年浙江省1月浙江首考
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I was invited to a cookout on an old friend's farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it. It was a hummingbird （蜂鸟）, desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spider-webs（蛛网） and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up.
With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door securely behind me.
When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired Or too thirsty
As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move. I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away. Hovering（悬停）, she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight.
During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say good- bye.”
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para1：A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.
Para2：I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
2023年浙江省1月浙江首考
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I was invited to a cookout on an old friend's farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention(无灵主语句), so I entered it. It was a hummingbird , desperately trying to escape(现在分词做伴随动作). She was covered in spider-webs and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up(the instant...)
With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door securely(现在分词做伴随动作) behind me.
When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired Or too thirsty.
As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move. I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away. Hovering(现在分词做伴随动作), she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side(现在分词做伴随动作). Then she flew quickly out of sight.
During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say good- bye.”
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para1：A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.
Para2：I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
一、读后续写任务分类与构思分析
分析维度 内容
题材类型 情感类 / 治愈类 / 人与自然 / 小动物故事
冲突类型 外在事件（蜂鸟被困）+ 内在情感变化（人与动物的情感联结）
故事结构类型 “温情回环型”：起初相遇→营救过程→分离→意外重逢→告别（象征意义）
构思布局建议 第一段（Para1）：回访农场，心中怀念蜂鸟，触景生情，产生对再次相遇的渴望第二段（Para2）：蜂鸟出现——或以奇妙方式（再次凝视）与“告别”形成照应→主人心理升华、感悟人与自然间的联系
构思重点 把握人与动物情感的“联结感”与“象征意义”的升华，不宜写为过度“拟人化”或童话式；场景真实贴合原文环境
续写注意事项 不得新增人物场景应围绕“农场、车边、树林”等原设定场景展开保持蜂鸟灵动、神秘但真实的自然生物特性语言要体现细腻情感与心理变化
巧妙设计建议 通过相似环境或事件（如再次靠近窗子、再次鸣叫）实现“情感回环”运用象征写法：蜂鸟代表“感恩”“生命的回应”
二、故事山结构与原文线索分析
故事山模式（Story Mountain）
阶段 内容 原文体现句
开端 赴朋友农场，偶然发现蜂鸟被困 “A noise at a window caught my attention...”
上升动作 尝试营救→去车边取水 “She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up.”
高潮 蜂鸟挣脱困境，第一次对视、飞走 “For a very long moment... Then she flew quickly...”
下降动作 与朋友分享→告别时再次出现 “She again looked directly into my eyes...”
结局 所有人感受到人与自然的奇妙联系，情感得到升华 “She must have come to say goodbye.”
三、写作语言要素及原文线索提取表格（含情节、心理、描写线索等）
分析角度 内容分析 原文体现句
人物刻画 叙述者细腻善良、富有同理心；蜂鸟灵动、有灵性 “She sat looking at me with her bright eyes.”
情感层次 发现→担忧→细致呵护→被信任→感动→怀念→心灵沟通 “Perhaps she had been struggling too long…” / “She must have come to say goodbye.”
关键情节点 ①发现蜂鸟 ②解救 ③蜂鸟对视 ④第二次出现 “She turned from person to person until she came to me.”
语言特色 富含动作+心理混合描写，句型多为并列/复合句，节奏平缓，语言细腻含情 “I looked around to see how she had gotten in…”
关键词分析 escape, struggle, bright eyes, hovering, squeaking call “She was barely able to move her wings.” / “She hovered.”
心理描写 关切、疑惑、怜惜、感动、震撼、留恋 “She made no attempt to fly.” / “For a very long moment…”
动作描写 捡起、抹除蛛网、抬手放飞、靠近面部、发出叫声 “I removed the sticky spider-webs...” / “She approached within six inches of my face.”
环境描写 农场、黑莓小道、破碎窗、 milking house（表现时间感、衰败感） “A milking house which had apparently not been used in many years.”
隐含主题 人与自然的默契共鸣；生命的尊重；善意的回报；偶遇的神圣感 “She must have come to say goodbye.”
情感转折 蜂鸟不飞→飞离前对视；告别→再次出现 “She sat looking at me...” → “She flew quickly out of sight.”
空间转换 牛奶屋 → 外出 → 车 → 烧烤聚会现场 “I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car…”
时间过渡 几周后再次到访 续写段首：“A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.”
四、总结：续写构思建议（按段落）
Para1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.
设置再次回访场景（注意情感延续）；
可触景生情（见蜘蛛网残留，或窗户已修好）；
表现心理“是否还能再遇蜂鸟？”；
加入期待感或静静回忆、再次伫立等动作。
Para2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
冲突解决（再次相遇）+ 情感升华（人与自然神圣对视）；
再次“飞近→对视→鸣叫”，象征道别/感谢/祝福；
可加上“消失在阳光/树林中”等视觉画面作为结尾；
心理描写升华：“她带走了我对善意世界的信心”之类收尾句。
3. 动作 / 心理 / 环境描写
动作描写
He reached out carefully, afraid to scare the tiny creature.
　他小心地伸出手，生怕惊吓到那只小生物。
She hovered mid-air, her wings a blur.
　她悬停在空中，翅膀快得几乎看不清。
I gently brushed off the spider webs tangled around her wings.
　我轻轻拂去缠在她翅膀上的蛛网。
She tilted her head slightly, studying my face.
　她微微侧头，打量着我的脸。
My fingers trembled as I cupped her in my hands.
　当我双手捧起她时，我的手指微微颤抖。
The bird took a hesitant step forward before lifting off.
　鸟儿犹豫地向前迈了一小步，然后起飞了。
I pushed the broken window open to let in some light.
　我推开破碎的窗户，让些许阳光洒进来。
She darted through the air, circling above me.
　她在空中飞快穿梭，在我头顶盘旋。
I sealed the hole with a cloth to keep other creatures out.
　我用布把破洞封住，防止其他动物进入。
Her wings fluttered rapidly as she struggled for freedom.
　她拼命挣扎，翅膀快速拍打。
心理描写
My heart swelled with relief as I saw her fly.
　看到她飞走，我的心充满了释然。
A strange warmth rose in my chest.
　一股奇异的暖意在我胸口升起。
I couldn't explain the connection I felt with the little bird.
　我无法解释与这只小鸟之间的那种连接感。
For a moment, the world seemed to stand still.
　一时间，仿佛世界静止了。
I was filled with a quiet awe.
　我心中充满了宁静的敬畏感。
Doubt crept into my mind — had she survived
　一丝疑虑浮上心头——她还活着吗？
Her return felt like a gift from nature.
　她的归来像是大自然送来的一份礼物。
I stood frozen, caught in the wonder of the moment.
　我呆站着，被那一刻的神奇所震撼。
I found myself hoping she would remember me.
　我竟希望她能记住我。
A deep calm settled over me.
　一种深深的平静感笼罩了我。
环境描写
The air was filled with the scent of blackberry blossoms.
　空气中弥漫着黑莓花的香气。
Sunlight streamed through the cracks in the roof.
　阳光透过屋顶的缝隙倾泻而下。
The milking house stood in quiet decay, vines curling along its walls.
　那座奶房静静地衰败着，藤蔓沿墙攀爬。
A light breeze stirred the leaves, rustling softly.
　微风轻拂树叶，发出沙沙声。
Dust particles danced in the shafts of sunlight.
　尘埃在阳光中舞动。
Silence hung over the farm, broken only by the occasional chirp.
　农场一片寂静，偶尔有鸟鸣打破静谧。
The path was overgrown with wildflowers and moss.
　小路上长满了野花和苔藓。
A distant tractor rumbled, fading into the background.
　远处拖拉机的轰鸣声逐渐消失在背景中。
The sky stretched endlessly, tinged with orange by the setting sun.
　天空无限延展，被夕阳染上橘红色。
Dew still clung to the grass underfoot.
　脚下的草叶上仍挂着露珠。
四、高级替换词
常用词 替换词 使用场景
small tiny / minuscule 动物、物体、特写描写
look gaze / glance / peer / observe 人物视线描写
fly soar / glide / flutter / hover 鸟类或自然生物动作描写
say whisper / murmur / declare / utter 心境描写、人物对话
feel sense / perceive / experience / be flooded with 内心感受、心理转折表达
4. 搭配现象解析、语料积累与词汇详解
地道搭配与语言现象
cupped one's hands → 双手捧着（表示温柔、呵护）
gaze into one's eyes → 深情凝视某人（常用于动物或情感连接）
hover in the air → 在空中盘旋（常用于鸟、蜂鸟）
remove spider-webs → 清理蛛网（具体动作）
take wing → 起飞，飞离（常用于文学性描写）
let out a squeaking call → 发出轻声叫喊（表现蜂鸟情绪）
turn one's head from side to side → 左右晃动头部（疑惑/观察）
词汇积累（含解析）
hover
　词性：v. 盘旋，悬停
　近义词：float, drift
　反义词：land, fall
　例句：The bird hovered just above my face. / A drone hovered silently overhead.
flutter
　词性：v. 快速拍动
　近义词：flap, beat rapidly
　反义词：stay still, stabilize
　例句：The hummingbird fluttered her wings frantically. / Her heart fluttered with excitement.
gaze
　词性：v./n. 凝视
　近义词：stare, look fixedly
　反义词：glance, glimpse
　例句：She gazed into the sky, lost in thought. / The dog returned his gaze lovingly.
squeak
　词性：v./n. 发出吱吱声、小叫声
　近义词：chirp, peep
　反义词：roar, boom
　例句：The bird let out a faint squeak. / I heard a squeak behind the door.
tremble
　词性：v. 颤抖
　近义词：shake, shiver, quiver
　反义词：steady, calm
　例句：His hands trembled as he held the tiny creature. / The leaves trembled in the wind.
Possible Versions(3)
Version 1
Para1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. Parking my car at the familiar spot(现在分词做伴随动作), I made my way along the blackberry-covered trail, each step triggering a vivid memory of that tiny bird(独立主格). The milking house came into view(无灵主语), still quiet, yet not quite as abandoned—one of my friend had clearly repaired the broken window. My friend welcomed me warmly, and as we chatted, she pointed out that a hummingbird had been circling the porch lately, as if in search of someone. Her words stirred something deep within me(无灵主语句). Throughout the cookout, I found myself scanning the air, expecting to catch sight of fluttering wings(现在分词做伴随动作) or hear the hum that had stayed with me since that day. Though she didn’t appear, a sense of hope lingered(现在分词做伴随动作), and I kept my eyes skyward.
Para2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. As I turned toward my car, a sudden movement caught my attention(无灵主语句). My heart leapt as the familiar tiny creature hovered inches from my face, her wings humming like music to my ears(现在分词做伴随动作). Her beady eyes locked onto mine(无灵主语), filled with recognition and trust(过去分词做后置定语). I extended a hand instinctively, and to my amazement, she landed gently in my palm. I offered her a drop of water and watched her sip it with delicate grace. Then, without warning, she rose into the air and circled me once, as if saying, “I remember you.” A wave of warmth swept over me(心理描写). In that moment, I knew this wasn’t just coincidence—it was connection(递进描写). As she disappeared into the trees, I whispered goodbye, already planning my next visit(现在分词做伴随动作).
Version 2
Para1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. The moment I stepped onto the path lined with ripe blackberries(一...就), a breeze carried memories of that little hummingbird back to me(无灵主语句). I paused by the milking house—the window, once shattered(过去分词做状态描写)(对比描写), now bore a fresh pane. My friend greeted me and mentioned, almost casually, that a hummingbird had been seen fluttering near the barn for days, lingering(现在分词做伴随动作) as if she had something left to say. I smiled silently, the image of her resting in my hands vivid in my mind(独立主格刻画人物心理). As the afternoon unfolded and laughter floated through the summer air(无灵主语句), I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was near. It wasn’t just nostalgia—it was a quiet anticipation, a silent hope that she might return.
Para2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. Just as I reached for my car door, a soft whirring sound made me look up(无灵主语句). There she was—hovering gracefully, her wings a blur of life(独立主格). For a moment, time seemed to pause. She floated directly in front of me, tilting her head(现在分词做伴随动作) as if to study my face. I held out my hands, and with a swift, deliberate motion, she descended, her tiny feet brushing my skin(独立主格刻画蜂鸟). Her eyes gleamed with recognition(无灵主语句). After a brief moment, she chirped once, a sharp, sweet sound that pierced the air. Then she lifted off, vanishing over the trees(现在分词做伴随动作). I stood there motionless, my heart full(独立主格刻画人物). The bond we had forged—wordless yet profound(adj做补语)—reminded me of nature’s quiet miracles.
Version 3
Para1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. Driving up the gravel road and stepping onto the same blackberry-edged trail(现在分词做伴随动作), I felt a wave of emotion wash over me(情绪描写). The milking house now looked less abandoned—the jagged glass had been replaced, a sign of care(衔接原文). My friend greeted me with a knowing smile. “She’s been back,” she said. “Almost every day. Always looking, always waiting(押头韵).” I was stunned. Could it be she remembered Throughout the afternoon, every rustling leaf and soft breeze sent my eyes searching the skies(动作刻画). Although she remained unseen, her presence was felt. I clung to the thought that she hadn’t forgotten me, just as I hadn’t forgotten her(同位语从句).
Para2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. Right as I opened the car door, a shimmer of motion zipped into view(无灵主语句). She hovered inches from my face, her wings like whispers against the wind(独立主格，刻画蜂鸟状态). My breath caught in my throat. Slowly, I extended my hands, and without hesitation, she settled into them like before. I offered her some water from my bottle; she drank eagerly. Then, she looked at me—truly looked—and let out a single high note. That tiny call echoed louder in my heart than any words could. With a final flutter, she took off, dancing into the dusk(现在分词做伴随动作). I remained rooted, touched beyond words(过去分词做人物补语) by the return of a friend I expected to see again.
搭配与语法点：
"memories came flooding back"（记忆如潮水般涌来）
"hover inches from my face"（在我脸前盘旋）
“with my heart thumping with thrill” 使用现在分词短语作状语
"scarcely had I…when…" 倒装句式表示“刚……就……”
“each step triggering…” 使用现在分词引导的伴随状语
同义替换/升级表达：
常见词 高级替换 场景
see catch sight of 视觉描写
happy overjoyed / delighted 情绪描写
small tiny / petite 尺寸描写
sound murmur / hum / squeak 听觉描写
fly away take off / vanish into the sky 动作描写
情绪描写亮点词汇
a flush of contentment（满足感）
a wave of warmth swept over me（温暖感涌上心头）
my heart leapt / thumped with thrill（激动）
动作描写短语
hovered inches from my face
tilted her head as if to study
landed gently in my palm
zipped into view
brushed my skin
语料积累推荐短语
With a knowing smile
Scenes kept presenting themselves
Let out a squeak
A bond forged in silence
Connection beyond words

展开更多......

收起↑