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(共39张PPT)
读后续写
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读后续写讲评课
微技能训练课
第七档： 22-25
(1)续写内容的质量、续写的完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。
(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性。
(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
各档评分呈现的是学生的续写故事在内容与融洽度，词汇与语法，衔接与连贯性等方面写作能力的递减
第五档： 15-17 第四档： 11-14
第三档： 6-10 第二档： 1-5
阅卷时，评卷老师关注的主要有以下三个方面：
第六档： 18-21
第一档： 0
1. 明确续写内容的叙述意图/主题。
以已给阅读材料的叙述意图和主题为中心。
2. 厘清已给短文的故事要素及人物情感变化
讲故事的黄金抛物线原则：首先设定情景，而后进入话题，而后引发冲突，而后进入高潮，最终解决问题。
3. 研读段落开头语
呼应情节
挖掘故事新冲突、确定解决方案
4. 合理构思后续故事的发展。
读后续写，需要重点考虑5点

梳理冲突升级和对应的解决方案
4.合理构思后续故事的发展。
以表现社会主义核心价值观为准绳。
高考命题要求和命题原则：优化情境设计，增强试题开放性、灵活性，充分发挥高考命题的育人功能和积极导向作用。
5. 落实好衔接
句子与句子
2个段落之间
读后续写，需要重点考虑5点
交叉式
词汇的呼应、发展与过渡

Mind–map
confirmed
Given
Door 1
Given
Door 2


G
S
G
S
列大纲：两段12句法
1） 2） 3）
4） 5） 6）
7） 8） 9）
10） 11） 12）
思考：12句话中，有哪几句是固定内容？
列大纲：两段12句法
1）固定 2） 3）
4） 5） 6）固定
7）固定 8） 9）
10） 11） 12）固定
结局/升华主旨
续写首段首句
续写二段首句
承接首段首句
3
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.
I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.
A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.
I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.
列大纲：两段12句法
1） 2） 3）
4） 5） 6）
7）固定 8） 9）
10） 11） 12）
thanks to my teacher
I won the prize
laughed out loud again
I expressed my thanks
I was happy
I shared it with my teahcer
My teacher was happy
I attended the the
award presentation
Congratulated me
I knew his laugh
I love writing
kept writing and succeeded
3
读后续写
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A story
when
where
who
what
why
Read for elements
my wife, I, the driver
during Thanksgiving
New York City
an experience in New York City to get a van
They needed a van to send them to Harlem
Main idea
Read for theme
Love Warmth Kindness Help
Tip: Use a plot mountain to understand the story better.
Plot mountain
Beginning
Development
Ending
Climax
Read for plots and feelings
？
Before we made a plan
When we made a plan
After we made a plan
Wanted to get a van
buy food for the poor
Stuck in a hotel
climax
In vain
Take a chance in the street
Read for plots and feelings
？
excited
sad
disappointed
hopeful
ending
Ritual
Para. 1 We tried stopping vans as they were driving down the street.
Para. 2 Eventually a van drove up and the driver said yes.
①
No driver agreed to help us.
②
③
④
Q1: How would the couple react to the driver's agreement
Q2: What would they do for the people in need
Q3: How would the couple feel in the end
Or what would they learn in the end …
Q-A strategy
Q1: What did the couple do on the street
Q2: How would the drivers react to the couple's behavior
Q3: How would the couple/the wife feel …
Infer the development
Assessing students’ work
Assessing students’ work
读后续写
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However, regardless of our waving hands, the vans merely kept driving without a glimpse at us.
The river of vans ran away in front of us but no one would like to stop and listen to us.(韩树纬)
But to our disappointment, all of the drivers refused to lend the vans.（黄新惠）
The car on the road drive so fast, blowing our hair away.(阚禄颖)
Yet the drivers either gave a cold shoulder to our crazily-waving hands, or sped past us, drowning our hope in the deafening roar of engines.
情节构建 +句式整合Para 1
Driving on the road so fast, the drivers even didn’t notice us, with merciless chilly wind blowing our hair away.
Fingers numbed by the chilly wind, throat choked by dusty air, we felt so lonely in the crowded street surrounded by so many cold-hearted poker faces.
We found ourselves on the edge of giving up, until it suddenly dawned on me that the very despair I was experiencing was less than what someone struggled for.
Through our joint efforts, we succeeded. A driver was convinced by us.(彭俊烨)
We decided to continue stopping vans which they were driving down the street. Nothing is difficult to the man who will try. (林硕)
We made a poster and then put it on the side of the road. We thought that there must be a driver who was kind wanted to help.（高瑞璟）
We went to the street, looking at the van with determination. In the end, we made it! (李佳玉)
情节构建 Para 1 最后一句的有效衔接
We held the board, waiting by the street for a warm-hearted driver.
The nearly-extinguished sparks of hope were instantly rekindled, encouraging us to go on with the search for a van that could deliver the goodwill.
We didn’t want to give up regardless of how exhausted we were.(阚禄颖)
I grasped my wife’s hand and comforted her, giving energy and confidence. (黄新惠)
But these vans were going so fast that on one noticed us. Then I saw a board on the ground and held it up.(冯硕)
I encouraged her and we tried in other ways. We made a poster and then put it on the side of the road. We thought that there must be a driver who was kind wanted to help.（高瑞璟）
情节构建+句式整合 Para 1 添加情节
The weather was cold and the vans were getting less and less. We tried it again at last without great hope.(姜淑婷)
Despite the chilly wind/ Even though it was extremely freezing cold outside, we didn’t want to give it up and decided to try once again.
My wife was tired and disappointed and asked me whether we had the opportunity to get a van.
句式整合
Tired, cold and disappointed, my wife asked me whether we had the opportunity to get a van.(张德好)
With sincere gratitude, we went shopping and bought many things that people needed.（黄新惠）
We couldn’t help hugging each other and thanked the driver from the bottom of my heart.(姜淑婷)
A wave of happiness swept over us. We could hardly find any words to express my heartfelt thanks. (阚禄颖)
情节构建（para 2 第一句有效衔接）
Showering him in a string of thanks, we immediately set out to purchase food, and then headed for Harlem.
The society will become more harmonious and beautiful. As long as we all contribute kindness.（耿嘉怡）
句式整合
Only if we all contribute kindness will the society become more harmonious and a better place to live in.
To my surprise, we found that the van driver lived there, we were very grateful to the driver and thanked him again.（高瑞璟）
The driver said with a smile, “I was given food and a note just when I was little.” …………… 亓俪锦
To the driver’s surprise, we drove to his neighborhood. What impressed me most was that we were helped by people we wanted to help.(王跃桦)
情节构建（para 2添加情节）
Beautiful endings
It was no exaggeration to utter that the unforgettable experience was like an everlasting flower, blooming in the river of my mind. …………………….. 韩树纬
By doing my Thanksgiving ritual, our lives were decorated beautifully. ……………………. 周蕊
Now, my wife and I still created this ritual on Thanksgiving Day, and we learn the truth of Thanksgiving was to be thankful and generous. ……………………. 张凌
Appreciation
Beautiful endings
After that, we always stick to our Thanksgiving ritual to give love and warmth. …………………….. 林硕
Unknowingly, the warmth is spreading in this city. …………………….王靖雯
After doing this, we really realized the meaning of Thanksgiving, which can gain good luck by helping others. ……………………. 王跃桦
Appreciation
Beautiful endings
Miracles like this happen every day—even in a city where “ there are no vans.” …………………….. Vivien
Through this special experience, we felt warmth and love in the blank and glamorous city. ……………………. Wendy
I whispered to the driver, “I made their day, but you have decorated and lightened up my Thanksgiving with warm kindness. ” ……………………. Amanda
Appreciation
读后续写
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心理描写
动作描写
主题升华结尾
句式整合润色
环境描写
情节构建
一听到那个坏消息，她悲伤不已。
概括描述：Upon hearing the bad news, she felt extremely sad.
Upon hearing the bad news, her heart ached, tears streaming/rolling down her cheeks.
Upon hearing the bad news, she felt seized by a burst of sadness and couldn’t help crying bitterly.
关于悲伤的描写
1）一听到那个坏消息，她很心痛，眼泪直流。
2）一听到那个坏消息，她被一股悲伤之感控制，忍不住哭泣。
Exercise1:
关于雨的描写
翻译练习：下起了大雨。（概括描写）
1）It was raining cats and dogs.
2）There was a heavy downpour.
翻译练习（细节描写）：
1）下起了大雨，我躲在屋檐下，看着行色匆匆的行人,思绪万千。
2）下起了大雨，溪水上涨，风吹着拍打着房子。
1）It was raining cats and dogs and I hid in the roof, seeing the passers-by in a hurry, all kinds of ideas bouncing around in my head.
2）It was raining cats and dogs, the streams rose and the winds blew heavily, beating against the house.
坚守
寻梦
跋涉
成功
Thank you
end

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