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山重水复“续”有路，读析“写”评又一村
a thief …
Learning objectives
文本解读(读)
搭建支架(析)
建构语言(写)
作品点评(评)
该篇续写的理论依据：读—析—写—评
为解决当前英语读写教学中 “为读而读、 为写而写” 的问题，文章结合读后续写高考写作新题型构建了 “读—析—写—评” 的教学路径， 并通过课例详细诠释了 “解构语篇逻辑， 理解主题” “梳理关键信息，搭建支架” “建构情节发展，表达主题” “立足评价标准， 反思修改” 四个教学步骤。
阅读
分析
写作
评改
1
文本解读(读)
阅读：解构语篇逻辑，
理解主题
第二节（满分25分）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Kevin was pretty bored. His mother was at work, and his father had been away on business. Therefore, he was left in the care of Mrs. Hill, an old lady who lived next door. His parents had raised the 12-year-old to be a good boy. He never got into trouble, though sometimes he wanted to do risky things. Mrs. Hill was asleep. Kevin sighed (叹息) and hoped something exciting would happen. Suddenly, a movement outside caught his eye.
Mrs. Hill’s front window faced Mr. and Mrs. Green’s house across the street. The couple had both gone to work, so it was strange that someone was over there. Kevin stared at the man at their front door. Suddenly, the man jumped through an open window into the house. With his heart in his mouth, Kevin grabbed Mrs. Hill’s home phone and called the police.
Thinking that the man might get away with whatever he wanted before the police arrived, Kevin decided to do something. He rushed out of Mrs. Hill’s house and crossed the street quickly. Grabbing a branch from a cut-down tree, he jumped in through the window. “Stop right there! You must leave right now!” he called out, holding the branch with both hands.
分析原文语言特色，建构思路
同位语+定语
无灵表达
it作形式主语
with的复合结构
非谓语
The man froze for a second, but when he saw the skinny boy he breathed a sigh of relief. “Hey, kid, put that down. It was my home. My parents used to live here and my father’s watch was here,” he explained, trying to lift a floorboard.
At that moment, the sounds of a police car echoed (回响) in the air. The man stood up in a panic, then ran through the house toward the window and jumped out. Kevin followed out and told the arriving police officers what had happened. They pursued and arrested the man.
Kevin went back to Mrs. Hill’s house. Somehow he wasn’t sure he had done the right thing. “What if he has told the truth ” he thought to himself. The man’s words sounded pretty convincing.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: When Mr. and Mrs. Green got home, Kevin went to talk to them.
Paragraph 2: Kevin and Mr. Green took the watch they had found to the police station.
非谓语
宾语从句
定语从句
Step 1: 构建人物关系图
parents-son
neighbour
Parents were busy with their own things.
Kevin was looked after by Mrs. Hill
Kevin
Mrs. Hill
Mr. and
Mrs. Green
neighbour
Mrs. Hill’s front window faced Mr. and Mrs. Green’s house across the street.
a man
stranger
police-public
Kevin’s parents
neighbour
In Kevin’s opinion, the man was a thief, so he called the police.
policeman
The man jumped into Mr. and Mrs. Green’s house through the open window.
原文线索：“It was my home. My parents used to live here and my father’s watch was here,” he explained…
由此可知：
此人为原房主的儿子
主要人物：Kevin
1. 背景铺垫：12岁的Kevin因父母忙碌，被托付给邻居Hill夫人照看，他本性乖巧但偶尔想尝试冒险，因觉得无聊而期待有趣的事发生。
2. 事件发生：Kevin发现街对面Green夫妇家（两人均已上班）有陌生男子闯入，他先紧张地打电话报警，又担心嫌犯逃脱，便持树枝冲进屋内喝止。
3. 冲突与发展：男子见到瘦小的Kevin后放松警惕，解释自己是前房主之子，来取父亲遗留在地板下的手表；此时警车赶到，男子惊慌逃跑，被警方追捕并逮捕。
4. 结尾悬念：Kevin回到Hill夫人家，对自己的行为产生怀疑，觉得男子的话听起来很可信，不确定是否做错了。
续写凯文揭露真相与成长故事
版本一(最可能):男人在撒谎。格林夫妇听后非常震惊和愤怒。他们会明确告诉凯文:“我们根本没有儿子!”或者“我们的儿子在国外，根本不可能回来!”这样就能立刻证实那个男人是个狡猾的小偷，他的故事只是为了欺骗一个孩子。格林夫妇会大力赞扬和感谢凯文的勇敢与机警。
版本二(增加戏剧性):男人的话有部分真实。格林夫妇可能会露出惊讶又悲伤的表情。他们可能会说:“他确实是我们以前的邻居/远房亲戚，但他绝不是回来拿遗物的，他是个惯犯!”这样既能解除凯文的负罪感，也说明小偷是利用了真实信息来编造谎言。
结果:无论哪个版本，核心目的都是让凯文消除他的疑虑(和读者)得到明确的答案，:让他确信自己做了正确的事。
2
搭建支架(析)
分析：梳理关键信息，
搭建支架
…Somehow he wasn’t sure he had done the right thing. “What if he has told the truth ” The man’s words sounded pretty convincing.
It was my home. My parents used to live here and my father’s watch was here,” he explained, trying to lift a floorboard.
… the sounds of a police car echoed. The man … ran through … the arriving police officers pursued and arrested the man.
故事的高潮：警车响起，“小偷”逃跑，
警察追赶逮住小偷。
警察逮住小偷，故事看似圆满。但如果忽略细节就会失去与原文的协同。让我们继续出发寻求线索。
这个人所说的话如果是真的，那么这个人就是原房主的儿子，他回来拿父亲遗落的手表也无可厚非，只是他这种的“破窗而入”的方式让Kevin 认为他是“小偷”。
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: When Mr. and Mrs. Green got home, Kevin went to talk to them.
Paragraph 2: Kevin and Mr. Green took the watch they had found to the police station.
为故事转折设下伏笔：
Kevin开始动摇之前的想法，认为那个人也许不是个小偷。
推断故事的结局：
1.那个人是小偷吗？
2.那块手表是谁的？
思考：Is that man a thief？
原文线索 1
…but when he saw the skinny boy he breathed a sigh of relief. “Hey, kid, put that down.
如果这个男人是小偷，看到瘦骨嶙峋的Kevin一定会伤害，但他没有，说明他不是小偷。
原文线索 2
Somehow he wasn’t sure he had done the right thing. “What if he has told the truth ” The man’s words sounded pretty convincing.
Kevin and Mr. Green took the watch they had found to the police station.
此段的作用就是让故事来个欧亨利式的反转。可谓：山重水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。
Mr. Green带上这块从地板下面找到的手表去警察局（根据协同可知），他要将它还给原房主的儿子。
原文线索 3
这也是唯一验证这个男人是不是小偷的证据了。
这篇续写可谓 “险象环生”、“环环有套”，稍不注意就会落入命题人设置的圈套，让你误以为那个人是小偷。但只要我们睁大眼睛，遵循协同原则，认真分析，就会找到一条解决问题的方法，正所谓：
山重水复“续”有路，读析“写”评又一村
思考：What is the function of this sentence
Suddenly, the man jumped through an open window into the house.
这句话是故事发展的催化剂。正是这个男人“破窗而入”的方式，让Kevin认为这个男人是小偷，才会打电话报警，才有了后面故事的发展。
可是，这个男人为什么要 “破窗而入”去Mr Green家拿手表呢？
文章没有交代原因，也许是这个男人急于给父母一个惊喜，等不及the Greens夫妇回来，刚好窗户开着，就迫不及待破窗而入了。
Step 3: 利用逆推法，搭建故事支架
Paragraph 1: When Mr. and Mrs. Green got home, Kevin went to talk to them.
Paragraph 2: Kevin and Mr. Green took the watch they had found to the police station.
Mr Green found the watch from a floorboard.
What did Mr. and Mrs. Green say and do after hearing the story
Kevin told them what had happened.
Why did Mr Green take the watch to the police station
What did Mr Green say to the police
Was the man set free
启下
主旨升华：Kevin的善良、勇敢和心思缜密。
此句既协同Kevin所说的又呼应下文。
呈上
【续写情节线索（基于给定开头）】
Paragraph 1：Green夫妇回家后，Kevin主动告知事情经过，提及男子“取父亲手表”的说法；Green夫妇确认房子曾是男子父母的住所，且记得老房主确实有块珍贵手表遗落，众人在男子所说的地板下找到了手表，证实男子所言非虚。
Paragraph 2：Kevin和Green先生带着手表前往警局，说明情况；警方核实后释放男子，男子向Kevin道谢并解释因着急取表才未提前告知；Kevin释然，既为自己的勇敢感到欣慰，也学会了遇事需更周全判断。
3
建构语言(写)
写作：学生基于讨论后的续写思路，列出续写的细节要点。
Step 4: 根据原文语言特色，建构语言
模仿语言
创造语言
模仿语言
创造语言
para 1 When Mr. and Mrs. Green got home, Kevin went to talk to them. He explained how he had witnessed the strange man entering their house and how he was arrested. Mr. and Mrs. Green listened attentively, with a mixture of surprise and gratitude on their faces. Mrs. Green hugged Kevin, thanking him for his bravery. Mr. Green, however, looked thoughtful. He asked Kevin to describe the man in detail and then revealed that the man was indeed his younger brother, who had come to retrieve a watch their father had left behind. Kevin's eyes widened in astonishment.
para 2 Kevin and Mr. Green took the watch they had found to the police station. On the way, Mr. Green explained that the watch was a family heirloom(传家宝), passed down from generation to generation. At the police station, they explained the situation to the officers, who were surprised but understanding. The man, who had been released after his identity was verified（核实）, was waiting outside. He smiled weakly at Kevin, who felt a mix of embarrassment and relief. Mr. Green handed over the watch to his brother with a pat on the back, and they all agreed to keep in touch. Kevin learned an important lesson that day: always verify the facts before taking action, but never hesitate to help those in need（升华）.
4
作品点评(评)
点评： 教师在点评时要引导学生体验作品中涌现出来的亮点， 让生在自己作为读者的真实体验中培养写作的读者意识。
原创作品
给出句与续写句衔接自然
呼应原文：he explained, trying to lift a floorboard.
为男人不是小偷做了铺垫。
与下文的衔接有些不妥, 建议改成：they determined to clarify the fact to the policeman with the watch.
原创作品
her 改为his
in a cracking voice explaining
呼应原文；这个男人不是小偷。
结尾处倘若能加一两句升华，
内容会更丰满。

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