资源简介

(共15张PPT)
读后续写
PART
Learning objectives
1. 学会用六要素概括续写的故事线。
2.会运用五五拍戏法根据所提供的内容预测故事情节，写出五个关键的句子。
3.增强学生对于读后续写的解题信心。
假如你是一个编剧，
那么，读后续写对你来说，
就等同于丢给你一个没写完的剧本，让你创作。
"剧本"写作指南
1.原文一致原则
内容要前后衔接，上下连贯语言表达风格一致，结局合理。
2.正能量原则
故事内容一定要正能量，弘扬社会主义核心价值观。如迷路了但最终一定回到了家；失败了或遇到困难了，但最终一定成功了，吵架了但最后一定是言归于好，和睦相处；犯错了，最后一定会改过自新，重新做人；贼逃了，最后一定是绳之以法。
3.曲折性原则
凡是故事都应有跌宕起伏，其中人物会遇到困难或问题，但最终能解决。
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
①My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small gathering in the early summer. She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the backyard in order.
②There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play. There was just one thing I hadn't counted on: My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50-pound ball of fire. Though friendly, he could easily knock over my niece's small boys and my six-month-old granddaughter. So, when my brother showed up, I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside.
③My plan was working out just fine. Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly, after supper, the weather changed. It started to rain and everyone went indoors.
④It was an awkward moment. I didn't want Toby to be running around in the house, and my brother wasn't happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually, my brother decided to leave rather than force the issue.
⑤A few days passed, and I hadn't heard anything from my brother. I texted him and expressed wishes for him to come out again. His reply came as a surprise-a shock, actually: "Not a chance." Clearly, he was unhappy over the way we had parted. After all, I had left him little choice. Well, he' ll get over it, I reasoned.
⑥Two months passed. My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother, but I resisted, thinking he should call first. However, my conscience(良心) kept bothering me. I tried to put myself in my brother's shoes. He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty-five years had passed away a few months earlier. Toby was his constant companion, the one who kept him going.
Para1: I realized it was me who was at fault. ______________________________________
Para 2: With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door._______________
Task1. Fill in the blanks.
Who
When
Where
What
How
Why
Elements of the story
I ,my wife, my brother,Toby
in the early summer
at our new home;at brother's home
restore the relationship
the importance of love ,understanding and empathy
？
My wife and I hosted_____________, but my brother___________________,
which could___________________
children,so Toby was kept outside.
The sudden rain forced us to _________ except ______. Unwilling to get Tony wet, my brother_________ . Later, I __________ but got a "____________"reply
After putting myself in my brother’s shoes, I thought that he___________________
and __________
Task2. Fill the story mountain and analyse the emotion.
go indoors
Toby
left angrily
frustrated, angry，uncaring
sympathetic, guilty
a small gathering
chose to bring his dog Toby
easily knock over
texted him
Not a chance
was facing health issues
his wife had passed away
excited
worried
？
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
Para.2:With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door.
Para.1: I realized it was I who was at fault.
承上
承上
故事结局
演员：I & my wife
Tip 3：戏份不够，细节/环境来凑。
演员：my brother ， I，Toby
启下
情感态度价值观升华
Tip 1：确定演员
Tip 2：确定出场顺序
五五拍戏法——情节线/情感线
我错在哪里？
我下定决心要修复我们的关系，于是拿着饼干去道歉
到门口-----敲门
坚冰融化，关系和好
直到那时，我意识到，唯有爱、互相理解和同理心，才能缩小人与人之间的差距
我想了什么？做了什么？妻子有什么作用？
我的心理？我做了什么？哥哥的反应是什么？ 狗的反应？
Task3. Share your thoughts
1
2
3
4
5
Para.1: I realized it was I who was at fault.
承上
I: 我当时太自私了，满脑子只想着孩子们的安全，却忽略了狗的重要性
My wife：她建议我带哥哥喜欢吃的饼干去和他道歉。
I;向妻子求助，询问该如何解决这一窘境
I：一想到那天哥哥孤独的身影，一股懊悔和内疚之情油然而生
演员：I & my wife
Tip 3：戏份不够，细节/环境来凑。
启下
Tip 1：确定演员
Tip 2：确定出场顺序
五五拍戏法——情节线
I：我下定决心要修复我们的关系，于是拿着饼干去道歉
My brother: 听到敲门声，哥哥开门，狗摇尾巴
1
2
3
4
5
Para.2:With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door.
反思：直到那时，我意识到唯有爱和互相理解，才能缩小人与人之间的差距
My bother：拍拍我的肩膀, 接受我的道歉。
I: 我递上饼干道歉（心理：紧张+语言）
I：(伴随着手抖，脸白，喉咙发紧.....)虽然很紧张，但我还是深吸一口气，敲响了门
语言表达微技能：点线面升级法总结
精准用词
动词
名词
形容词
副词
点
线
将动作进行拆解
形成一条动作链
动作描写
面部描写
环境描写
心理描写
语言描写
面
句式回顾
1.无灵主语：A wave of +情绪名词 took hold of/seized/flooded over/swept over sb.
2.倒装：So +adj+ was sb that sb did sth
3.adj and adj,sb did sth.
4.abandoning oneself to/bathing herself in+情绪名词 ，sb did sth
5.full of /filled with/ consumed with / overcome by+情绪名词 ，sb did sth
6.With+n+doing/done sth，sb did sth(主语不一致)
1._____________________ （我当时是如此的自私以至于）I only focused on the children's safety ,2._________________________________（忽略了狗的重要性）--- especially after he lost his wife. 3.______________________________________________
（一想到那天哥哥孤独的身影，一股懊悔和内疚之情油然而生。）
4._______________________________________________(我突然意识到Toby不仅仅是一只狗，它还是) his spiritual support. 5._____________________ 与妻子商量后, she suggested I take some biscuits to visit my brother.6.____________(决定)fix the cracks between us and break the silence, I nodded and headed for my brother's house.
So selfish was I that
overlooking the importance of the dog
At the thought of his lonely figure that day, a sense of regret and guilt flooded / washed over me .
It occurred to me that Toby was not just a dog but
Having discussed it with my wife
Determined to
Para1: I realized it was me who was at fault.
Task4. Writing
Para 2: With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door._______________
请找出文本中的升级句式和连接成分
连句成篇
Para 1: I realized it was I who was at fault. Overwhelmed by remorse，I sighed deeply, rubbed my forehead and couldn’t help but reflect on the true meaning of family. I recalled many moments when Tom was by my brother’s side. “Never had we considered that we ignored my brother’s feelings by leaving his closest companion outside,” my wife admitted. Afterwards, I paced back and forth, clenching my fists in frustration. Regret clawed at my heart, and my mind went blank—I was at a loss what to. It was at that moment that she suggested that I should bring him the biscuits he likes and apologize.
Para 2: With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door. The moment he saw me, his face clouded with fury. Eyes blazed with burning anger, he said impatiently, “I mean it.” I said softly, “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored what you wanted.” Then I handed him the biscuits, eyes lowered, regret tightening my chest. Watching Tony run towards me, who barked excitedly and licked my fingers, I gently patted him. Seeing Tony’s little fluffy head, my brother reached out and patted him, saying, “I take your attitude towards him as a sincere apology”. His eyes were so bright that it would remain etched in my memory that the true meaning of family lies in mutual understanding and respect, even for those friends who cannot speak.

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