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(共22张PPT)
高二读后续写之亲情主题
ONE
01
读原文
One day a few years ago, Mom was doing some chores (家务) while my brother Hamza and I were watching TV. Everything was nice and peaceful until Mom's phone rang. I was running so fast to pick it up for her, but she had already grabbed it from the table. Without any concern of who it was, she accepted the call and put it on speaker.
Hamza and I were trying to listen, but we couldn't hear anything as the phone's volume was too low. I drew near to Mom, sat down and listened. It was my grandma's voice.
I was so excited when I heard my grandma's voice after such a long time. All I wanted to do was just grab the phone out of my mom's hands, but I wasn't sure if it was the right moment. I looked at Mom, and I saw something on her face-worry. It made me feel anxious, so I kept listening to see what was going on.
“I am in very critical (危急的) condition. The doctors have tried so many medicines and treatments, but they just didn't work. All I need right now is to see my children. Please come and visit me! I really need you.” Grandma said.
The call ended and Mom began wiping her tears. I felt very sorry for the pain Mom was going through. Her mother was so ill and she couldn't even be with her.
Eventually, Mom retold us the whole story, as she knew that we might haven't understood the situation, but we knew what was going on. She said, “Grandma's condition is not so good. I have to go to Pakistan（巴基斯坦）.”
At first I was worried that she might not take us with her and my body was shaking. I asked her if we were going. Mom said, “Of course you're going with me.”
Step1 圈出主要人物
One day a few years ago, Mom was doing some chores (家务) while my brother Hamza and I were watching TV. Everything was nice and peaceful until Mom's phone rang. I was running so fast to pick it up for her, but she had already grabbed it from the table. Without any concern of who it was, she accepted the call and put it on speaker.
Hamza and I were trying to listen, but we couldn't hear anything as the phone's volume was too low. I drew near to Mom, sat down and listened. It was my grandma's voice.
I was so excited when I heard my grandma's voice after such a long time. All I wanted to do was just grab the phone out of my mom's hands, but I wasn't sure if it was the right moment. I looked at Mom, and I saw something on her face-worry. It made me feel anxious, so I kept listening to see what was going on.
“I am in very critical (危急的) condition. The doctors have tried so many medicines and treatments, but they just didn't work. All I need right now is to see my children. Please come and visit me! I really need you.” Grandma said.
The call ended and Mom began wiping her tears. I felt very sorry for the pain Mom was going through. Her mother was so ill and she couldn't even be with her.
Eventually, Mom retold us the whole story, as she knew that we might haven't understood the situation, but we knew what was going on. She said, “Grandma's condition is not so good. I have to go to Pakistan（巴基斯坦）.”
At first I was worried that she might not take us with her and my body was shaking. I asked her if we were going. Mom said, “Of course you're going with me.”
Step2 划出人物的动作和语言
One day a few years ago, Mom was doing some chores (家务) while my brother Hamza and I were watching TV. Everything was nice and peaceful until Mom's phone rang. I was running so fast to pick it up for her, but she had already grabbed it from the table. Without any concern of who it was, she accepted the call and put it on speaker.
Hamza and I were trying to listen, but we couldn't hear anything as the phone's volume was too low. I drew near to Mom, sat down and listened. It was my grandma's voice.
I was so excited when I heard my grandma's voice after such a long time. All I wanted to do was just grab the phone out of my mom's hands, but I wasn't sure if it was the right moment. I looked at Mom, and I saw something on her face-worry. It made me feel anxious, so I kept listening to see what was going on.
“I am in very critical (危急的) condition. The doctors have tried so many medicines and treatments, but they just didn't work. All I need right now is to see my children. Please come and visit me! I really need you.” Grandma said.
The call ended and Mom began wiping her tears. I felt very sorry for the pain Mom was going through. Her mother was so ill and she couldn't even be with her.
Eventually, Mom retold us the whole story, as she knew that we might haven't understood the situation, but we knew what was going on. She said, “Grandma's condition is not so good. I have to go to Pakistan（巴基斯坦）.”
At first I was worried that she might not take us with her and my body was shaking. I asked her if we were going. Mom said, “Of course you're going with me.”
理清楚故事大概情节
One day a few years ago, Mom was doing some chores (家务) while my brother Hamza and I were watching TV. Everything was nice and peaceful until Mom's phone rang. I was running so fast to pick it up for her, but she had already grabbed it from the table. Without any concern of who it was, she accepted the call and put it on speaker.
Hamza and I were trying to listen, but we couldn't hear anything as the phone's volume was too low. I drew near to Mom, sat down and listened. It was my grandma's voice.
I was so excited when I heard my grandma's voice after such a long time. All I wanted to do was just grab the phone out of my mom's hands, but I wasn't sure if it was the right moment. I looked at Mom, and I saw something on her face-worry. It made me feel anxious, so I kept listening to see what was going on.
“I am in very critical (危急的) condition. The doctors have tried so many medicines and treatments, but they just didn't work. All I need right now is to see my children. Please come and visit me! I really need you.” Grandma said.
The call ended and Mom began wiping her tears. I felt very sorry for the pain Mom was going through. Her mother was so ill and she couldn't even be with her.
Eventually, Mom retold us the whole story, as she knew that we might haven't understood the situation, but we knew what was going on. She said, “Grandma's condition is not so good. I have to go to Pakistan（巴基斯坦）.”
At first I was worried that she might not take us with her and my body was shaking. I asked her if we were going. Mom said, “Of course you're going with me.”
故事开端：我和妈妈在家里忙的时候，接到了一个电话。
故事开端：电话是外婆打来的
故事发展：外婆说她情况很危急，需要吃很多药物，想要见见自己的孩子们（妈妈和我们）
故事高潮：妈妈决定带着我们去巴基斯坦
One day a few years ago, Mom was doing some chores (家务) while my brother Hamza and I were watching TV. Everything was nice and peaceful until Mom's phone rang. I was running so fast to pick it up for her, but she had already grabbed it from the table. Without any concern of who it was, she accepted the call and put it on speaker.
Hamza and I were trying to listen, but we couldn't hear anything as the phone's volume was too low. I drew near to Mom, sat down and listened. It was my grandma's voice.
I was so excited when I heard my grandma's voice after such a long time. All I wanted to do was just grab the phone out of my mom's hands, but I wasn't sure if it was the right moment. I looked at Mom, and I saw something on her face-worry. It made me feel anxious, so I kept listening to see what was going on.
“I am in very critical (危急的) condition. The doctors have tried so many medicines and treatments, but they just didn't work. All I need right now is to see my children. Please come and visit me! I really need you.” Grandma said.
The call ended and Mom began wiping her tears. I felt very sorry for the pain Mom was going through. Her mother was so ill and she couldn't even be with her.
Eventually, Mom retold us the whole story, as she knew that we might haven't understood the situation, but we knew what was going on. She said, “Grandma's condition is not so good. I have to go to Pakistan（巴基斯坦）.”
At first I was worried that she might not take us with her and my body was shaking. I asked her if we were going. Mom said, “Of course you're going with me.”
主要人物情绪：悲伤
ONE
02
续写构思
十句五定法 展开剧情
十句五定法
读后续写要求续写词数为150词左右。若一句话平均15词，则10句话就够了。
“十句五定”通常指10句话中5句的位置及内容已定，并不限于文章是10句话。
para1 para2
第1句：接着para1给出首句（心理/动作链） 第6句：接着para2给出首句（心理/动作链）
第2句：语言描写（人物对话或心理话） 第7句：语言描写
第3句：动作描写 第8句：动作描写
第4句：情绪描写 第9句：故事结局
第5句：根据para2首句来写 第10句：主题升华
十句五定法 展开剧情
（para1)After packing up, it was time to go.
第1句话：妈妈带着我和弟弟一起去机场，飞往巴基斯坦看外婆
第5句话：我们到了机场之后，叔叔来接我们，聊了外婆的事
(para2)After chatting for a while, my uncle drove us to my grandma's home.
第2-4句：动作，语言（人物对话）心理描写
一路上妈妈的心情如何，我和弟弟的心情，
做了哪些动作，和妈妈说了什么话
十句五定法 展开剧情
(para2)After chatting for a while, my uncle drove us to my grandma's home.
第6句话：我们到了外婆家之后，见到了生病的外婆
第9句话：妈妈照顾，外婆的病情好转（故事的结局）
第10句话：家人的爱让生活充满温暖之类的（情感的升华）
第7-8句：动作和语言（人物对话）或心理活动描写
我们和外婆说了什么？妈妈做了什么？
ONE
03
套句型续写
学困生：拿什么拯救你的作文？
内容只有一两行，字迹潦草，抄原文
抄阅读
抄完型
12-14分
聪明的学困生套万能句式写出的作文
14-16分
16-18分
他们作文中用到的万能句：
1.人 scratched one’s head and didn’t know what to do（动作）
2.人 was with anxiety on the one hand and fear on the other hand and 人 couldn’t say a single word.（悲伤情绪）
3.人 lowered her head, her eyes full of tears/full of sadness .（动作+悲伤情绪）
4.人 stood rooted to the floor, with tears rolling down one’s face.（悲伤动作+情绪）
5.Judging from the look，it was obvious that 人 was cught by a sense of sadness/joy（悲伤或者开心情绪）.
6.With a sense of sadness/joy inside sb，人 couldn’t help crying/laughing and had got lump in the throat（悲伤或者开心情绪）.
7.人 was so sad/excited that 人 couldn’t utter a single word.
（para1)After packing up, it was time to go.
第1句话：我们在去巴基斯坦的路上，妈妈很焦虑
第5句话：我们到了机场之后，舅舅来接我们，聊了外婆的事
(para2)After chatting for a while, my uncle drove us to my grandma's home.
第2句：我靠近妈妈，并且抱着她，弟弟因为比较小，因为要去看外婆而开心。
第3句：我对妈妈说，“别担心，外婆肯定会好起来的”
第4句：妈妈听了我说的话，露出了宽慰的笑容
用一些万能句型翻译
Judging from the look , it was evident that my Mom was caught by a sense of anxiety on the way to Pakistan.
I got close to Mom and hugged her gently while my brother was excited to see grandma because he was too young to know what happened.
Seeing the anxious look on my Mom’s face, I said to her “Don’t worry,, Mom. Grandma will be Ok.”
Hearing what I said, a satisfied expression appeared on her face.
After we got to the airport ,we saw our uncle who picked us up and told us the condition about grandma.
(para2)After chatting for a while, my uncle drove us to my grandma's home.
用一些万能句型翻译
第6句话：我们很快到了外婆家之后，见到了生病的外婆
Soon ,we got the the grandma’s home and my Mom saw her sick mother.
第7-8句：外婆脸色苍白，我冲过去对外婆说：“外婆，你还好吗”妈妈也拥抱了外婆，外婆留下喜悦的泪水。
My grandma’s face was so pale and I rushed to hug her, saying “Grandma, Are you Ok ”. My Mom and my brother stood rooted to the floor, eyes full of sadness.
第9句话：妈妈悉心照顾外婆，外婆的病情好转（故事的结局）
My mom took care of grandma carefully and grandma became better and better because she could see us every day and felt happy.
第10句话：家人的爱让生活充满温暖之类的（情感的升华）
Family is like a ray of sunshine , which can light up our life and bring us endless warmth.
参考范文（25分）
After packing up, it was time to go. As soon as we got on the airplane, I felt so excited. While we were on the plane, I watched a lot of movies while my brother played video games. However, Mom kept praying. It was the first time that I had seen her so anxious. Finally, we arrived at Pakistan. When we got to the exit of the airport, I saw my uncle waving his hand towards us. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a huge hug.
After chatting for a while, my uncle drove us to my grandma's home. When I got to Grandma's house, I saw many of our relatives were crowding around Grandma's room. Grandma's face was so pale. “Grandma!!! What happened to you Are you okay ” Tears began to run down my face. Mom took good care of Grandma and two weeks later, she felt better. All of us thought it was a miracle. We promised that we would visit Grandma more frequently.

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