资源简介

(共24张PPT)
读后续写
主题语境
人与动物
读后续写 评分标准 (从内容、词汇、篇章结构三方面评判)
评分档次 第一项 第二项 第三项 第四项
第五档 (21-25分) 与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接合理。 内容丰富 所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但完全不影响意义的表达。 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第四档 (16-20分) 与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接较合理。 内容比较丰富 所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但不影响意义的表达。 比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第三档 (11-15分) 与所给短文关系较为密切，与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。 写出了若干有关内容 应用的语法结构和词汇能够满足任务的要求，虽有一些错误，但不影响意义表达。 应用简单的语句连接成分，使所续写的短文结构紧凑。
第二档 (6-10分) 与所给短文有一定关系，与所提供各段落开头语有一定衔接。 写出了少数相关内容 语法结构单调，应用词汇有限，有些语法结构与词汇错误，影响了意义的表达。 较少使用语句间的连接成分，全文内容缺少连贯性。
第一档 (1-5分) 与所提供短文和开头语的衔接较差。 产出内容过少 语法结构单调，词汇很少，有较多语法结构和词汇方面的错误，严重影响了意义的表达。 缺乏语句间的连接成分，全文内容不连贯
语言表达
微场景公式+教材/原文链接
连句成篇
词-短语-从句
续写框架
五五拍戏法
语篇分析
六何分析法
故事山
语篇分析
六何分析法
语言表达
微场景公式+教材/原文链接
连句成篇
词-短语-从句
迁移应用
语料加油站
（见学案）
续写框架
五五拍戏法
①Jeremy likes to help his family with housework. He spends time playing with his baby sister while Mom cooks dinner. After supper, he dries the dishes for Dad. But Jeremy’s favorite job is feeding Fletch.
②Fletch is the family cat. He is brown and black, with tiger stripes(条纹) across his back. Fletch always plays and walks with him in the park and lets Jeremy know he’s hungry by bumping his head on Jeremy’s legs.
③One night after supper, Mom asked Jeremy to find Baby Suzy’s doll. “I think she dropped it in the back yard this afternoon. She won’t be able to sleep without it. Can you take a look before it gets dark ”
④Jeremy opened the kitchen door and ran outside. The bright red doll was easy to find in the grass. Jeremy got it and ran back.
⑤Later that night, Jeremy was ready for bed. He always said goodnight to Fletch before turning out the light, but Fletch wasn’t in his room. Jeremy looked in the bathroom and hallway. Then he went downstairs.
高一年级2024-2025学年下学期期中考试
⑥Jeremy looked in the living room and dining room, but Fletch was not there. He searched all the possible places at home, but there was still no hope. Then he got to the kitchen, Jeremy began to cry.
⑦Mom looked up from her tea. “Jeremy, you should be in bed! What’s wrong ”
⑧“The back door is open!” Jeremy cried. “And I can’t find Fletch anywhere!”
⑨Mom frowned. “I think you’re right to be worried,” she said slowly. “Fletch may slip out the door.”
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Jeremy cried. “Fletch ran away and it’s all my fault! I left the door open!”______________________________________________________________________.
Then all of a sudden, the sun shone in his eyes, and it was morning.__________________________________________________________________________.
语篇分析
六何分析法 When What
Where How
Who Why
Jeremy, Mom, Fletch
one night
in Jeremy’s home
Story mountain
analyze narrative perspective and writing style
analyze the writing purpose
③One night after supper, Mom asked Jeremy to find Baby Suzy’s doll. “I think she dropped it in the back yard this afternoon.
⑤Later that night, Jeremy was ready for bed. He always said goodnight to Fletch before turning out the light, but Fletch wasn’t in his room. Jeremy looked in the bathroom and hallway. Then he went downstairs.
事件分析——Story mountain【What】
Build Up
Conflict
Solution
Beginning
Ending
Para.1-2:
Jeremy likes to help his family with housework.
Jeremy’s favorite job is feeding Fletch.
Jeremy: filled with love, care and a sense of responsibility
Para. 5-9:
He searched all the possible places at home, but there was still no hope.
Then he got to the kitchen, Jeremy began to cry. Mom frowned. “Fletch may slip out the door.”
Jeremy : worried, upset Mom: worried, anxious
续写 P1: What did he do to find Fletch
Jeremy: excited upset disappointed
Mom: anxious hopeful
续写 P2: What happened to Jeremy
Did he find Fletch
Jeremy：happy delighted hopeless
Mom: happy delighted hopeless
Para.3-4:
One night after supper, Mom asked Jeremy to find Baby Suzy’s doll.
Jeremy opened the kitchen door and ran outside.
Jeremy : positive, hopeful
Mom
Jeremy
人物分析【Who】
Jeremy likes to help his family with housework.
Jeremy opened the kitchen door and ran outside.
He always said goodnight to Fletch before turning out the light.
Then he got to the kitchen, Jeremy began to cry.
Jeremy got it and ran back.
Jeremy looked in the bathroom and hallway. Then he went downstairs.
One night after supper, Mom asked Jeremy to find Baby Suzy’s doll.
Mom looked up from her tea. “Jeremy, you should be in bed! What’s wrong ”
Mom frowned. “I think you’re right to be worried,” she said slowly. “Fletch may slip out the door.”
Jeremy: helpful, responsible, caring, sensitive and proactive
Mom: caring, careful, understanding and calm
Writing style
Narrative perspective
叙述视角与写作风格【How】
After supper, he dries the dishes for Dad.
He is brown and black, with tiger stripes(条纹)across his back.
One night after supper, Mom asked Jeremy to find Baby Suzy’s doll.
He always said goodnight to Fletch before turning out the light…
Then he went downstairs.
He searched all the possible places at home…
Then he got to the kitchen…
第三人称
写作风格: 以细节描写为主，有动作、语言、表情、外貌描写
Fletch always plays and walks with him in the park and lets Jeremy know he’s hungry by bumping his head on Jeremy’s legs. （动作描写）
He is brown and black, with tiger stripes(条纹)across his back.（外貌描写）
“I think she dropped it in the back yard this afternoon. She won’t be able to sleep without it. Can you take a look before it gets dark ”(语言描写)
“The back door is open!” Jeremy cried. “And I can’t find Fletch anywhere!” （动作描写+语言描写）
Mom frowned. “I think you’re right to be worried,” she said slowly. “Fletch may slip out the door.”（表情描写+语言描写）
情感态度价值观分析【Why】
人与自然
From the experience, Jeremy realized that Fletch was an indispensable member of his family, and he cherished its existence and company.
续写框架
五五拍戏法
语言表达
微场景公式+教材/原文链接
连句成篇
词-短语-从句
迁移应用
语料加油站
（见学案）
语篇分析
六何分析法
故事山
五五拍戏法
令他惊喜的是，母亲抱着受伤的Fletch向他走来。
Jeremy醒来，没有看到Fletch，发现只是一个梦。
Jeremy 明白Fletch是不可或缺的的家庭成员，他珍惜它的存在和陪伴。
Jeremy心存感激，紧紧抱着Fletch，泪如雨下。
母亲告诉Jeremy， Fletch昨晚贪玩离开家，意外掉进了洞穴，被好心的邻居发现了。
母亲担心Jeremy会病倒，劝说他先回家休息，等待Fletch自己回家。
Jeremy睡着了，梦到Fletch回来了。
此时黑沉沉的天空下起了小雨。
Jeremy 在家附近以及公园里寻找Flecth，但没有任何发现。
母亲安慰Jeremy，建议去屋外寻找Fletch。
Para.2:Then all of a sudden, the sun shone in his eyes, and it was morning.
续写框架：五五拍戏法
Para.1: Jeremy cried. “Fletch ran away and it’s all my fault! I left the door open!”
承上
启下
Tip 1：确定演员
Tip 2：确定出场顺序
承上
演员：Jeremy & Mom & Fletch
1
2
3
4
5
Tip 3：戏份不够，细节/环境来凑。
情感态度价值观升华
1
2
3
4
5
故事结局
演员：Jeremy & Mom & Fletch
①
②
③
④
⑤
⑥
⑦
⑧
⑨
⑩
五五拍戏法
语言表达
微场景公式+教材原文链接
连句成篇
词-短语-从句
迁移应用
语料加油站
（见学案）
续写框架
五五拍戏法
语篇分析
六何分析法
故事山
语言表达：列草稿
Mom tried to comfort Jeremy and suggested searching for Fletch outside the house.
At this moment, a light shower began under the dark sky.
Jeremy looked for Fletch near his home and in the park, but in vain.
Mom worried that Jeremy might get sick and urged him to go home, waiting for Fletch to return on his own.
Tip ：正确使用时态，语态
Jeremy fell asleep and dreamed that Fletch had returned.
Para.1: Jeremy cried. “Fletch ran away and it’s all my fault! I left the door open!”
母亲安慰Jeremy，建议去屋外寻找Fletch。
1
①
Jeremy睡着了，梦到Fletch回来了。
5
②
Jeremy 在家附近以及公园里寻找Flecth，但没有任何发现。
2
⑥
此时黑沉沉的天空下起了小雨。
3
⑦
母亲担心Jeremy会病倒，劝说他先回家休息，等待Fletch自己回家。
4
⑧
语言表达：列草稿
To his surprise, his mother came towards him and held an injured Fletch in her arms.
Jeremy realized: Fletch was an indispensable member of his family, and he cherished its existence and company.
Jeremy's mother told him that Fletch fell into a cave while playing last night, but luckily a kind neighbor found him.
Jeremy felt grateful, hugged Fletch tightly and cried.
Jeremy woke up, didn't see Fletch, and realized it was just a dream.
Tip ：正确使用时态，语态
Para.2:Then all of a sudden, the sun shone in his eyes, and it was morning.
Jeremy醒来，没有看到Fletch，发现只是一个梦。
1
令他惊喜的是，母亲抱着受伤的Fletch向他走来。
2
母亲告诉Jeremy, Fletch昨晚贪玩离开家，意外掉进了洞穴，被好心的邻居发现了。
3
Jeremy心存感激，紧紧抱着Fletch,泪如雨下。
4
Jeremy 明白Fletch是不可或缺的的家庭成员，他珍惜它的存在和陪伴。
5
读后续写 评分标准(从内容、词汇、篇章结构三方面评判)
与所提供各个段落开头语衔接合理
应用了较多的高级词汇和语法结构
有效地使用了语句间的连接成分
内容丰富：故事情节合理+体现正能
量情感价值
第五档(21-25分)
评分标准
衔接：从情绪描写入手
词汇/语法（句式）升级
连接成分：词-短语-从句
内容升级：五五拍戏法
解决方案
续写构思升级→语言表达：微场景+公式技巧+语料仿写
Mom tried to comfort Jeremy and suggested searching for Fletch outside the house.
课本链接：人教版P16 （Para.3-S4）
Actually, we’re trying to save ourselves.
【续写构思第一句：心理描写】
微场景：心理描写（副词）
公式：副词+句子
Para.1:Jeremy cried. “Fletch ran away and it’s all my fault! I left the door open!”
母亲安慰Jeremy，建议去屋外寻找Fletch.
公式：副词+句子
Calmly, Mom tried to comfort Jeremy and suggested searching for Fletch outside the house.
1
续写构思升级→语言表达：微场景+公式技巧+语料仿写
原文链接：Para.2
Fletch always plays and walks with him in the park and lets Jeremy know he’s hungry by bumping his head on Jeremy’s legs.
【续写构思第二句】
微场景：动作描写（动词）
公式：主语+动作1 and 动作 2
Jeremy 在家附近以及公园里寻找Flecth，但没有任何发现。
公式：主语+动作1 and 动作 2
Jeremy ran out of the house and looked for Fletch near his home and in the park, but in vain.
Jeremy looked for Fletch near his home and
in the park, but in vain.
2
续写构思升级→语言表达：微场景+公式技巧
Jeremy woke up, didn't see Fletch, and realized it was just a dream.
【续写构思第一句：心理描写】
微场景：心理描写（with结构）
公式：with+情绪名词
Para.2:Then all of a sudden, the sun shone in his eyes, and it was morning.
公式：with+情绪名词
With disappointment, Jeremy found it just a dream when he woke up.
Jeremy醒来，没有看到Fletch，发现只是一个梦。
1
连句成篇
词-短语-从句
语言表达
微场景公式+教材/原文链接
迁移应用
语料加油站
（见学案）
续写框架
五五拍戏法
语篇分析
六何分析法
故事山
连句成篇技巧
词：副词；形容词；并列连词
短语：介词短语或分词短语
句：句子（状语从句；主语从句）
连句成篇
Paragraph 1: Jeremy cried. “Fletch ran away and it’s all my fault! I left the door open!” ① Calmly, Mom tried to comfort Jeremy and suggested searching for Fletch outside the house ① And then Jeremy ran out of the house and looked for Fletch near his home and in the park, but in vain. ②What’s worse, at this moment, a light shower began under the dark sky, which drove him to feel even more hopeless. ③Worrying that Jeremy might get sick, Mom said, “ Let’s go home to wait for it. Maybe it will return on its own later.” ③ Going back home, anxious and tired, Jeremy fell asleep while waiting for Fletch , and dreamed that he had returned and bumped his head on his leg.
Paragraph 2: Then all of a sudden, the sun shone in his eyes, and it was morning. ③With disappointment, Jeremy found it was just a dream when he woke up. ③However, to his surprise, his mother came towards him, holding an injured Fletch in her arms. “Fletch fell into a cave while playing.” Mom told Jeremy. “Luckily, a kind neighbour found him.”③Hearing that, Jeremy felt grateful and hugged Fletch toughly, with tears rolling down. ③From the experience, Jeremy realized that Fletch was an indispensable member of his family, and he cherished its existence and company.
请注意连接成分，并进行分类。
连接成分 副词 短语 句子
①
③
②

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