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(共30张PPT)
Continuation
Writing
5R解读、3大原则，十&五句（五三十五定法）
CONTENTS
读五要素，梳理情节山
十句五定，三原则填充
修改草稿，润色升级
Part1.读原文，理情节
Reading & Searching
Little Notes
Once again, I headed out to look for a job. Although I wasn’t very confident about the interview, I still held my head high, trying to stay hopeful under the morning sun. Before leaving, I made sure to stick a note on the fridge that read, “Son, finish your breakfast and have a good day.” Then I walked out of the door.
This quiet tradition came from my father. I still remember how, before every trip, he would leave a note on my desk: “I’ll come back with gifts for you.” When I stayed up late studying, I would open my pencil box and find another note inside: “Go to bed and have a good dream.” During summer camp, I would find a little note in my pocket that said, “Take care of yourself.” Those small pieces of paper were my first understanding of love — a gentle way of reminding me that someone always cared.
Reading & Searching
Years later when my own son Jack was old enough to read, I continued the tradition. I left little notes throughout his life: “You are smarter than you think” in his math book, “Son, my little sun” on his bedroom door, and “Good luck at soccer” inside his shoe. He never said anything about them, but he became a happy, brave, and kind boy. That was enough for me.
Then came the hardest winter of my life. My company cut our pay, and people began whispering about who might lose their jobs. I worked every day with a heavy heart, always anxious, but in the end, I was still told to leave. It was a huge shock — but things got even harder. My husband lost his job too and had to move to another city to find work. I didn’t have time to feel sad. I needed to find a new job quickly to support our family.
5R解读
Analyze the story：5Rs
1. Read for characters（人物）
2. Read for plot（情节）
3. Read for emotional changes（情感变化）
4. Read for conflict / problems（冲突/问题）
5. Read for theme（主题）
characters
I（mother)
the son(Jack)
My father
My husband
步骤一：5R解读，理清脉络
Plot
look for a Job ;stick a note
memory: her father always left a note for her
continue the tradition: leave a note for her son
unemployed,husband lost his job
Emotion
步骤一：5R解读，理清脉络
Theme
prove of love and encouragement through small acts
Conflict
Internal: inner exhaustion, frustration, self-doubt, vs. the love for one's son, along with a sense of familial responsibility.
External: The severe economic difficulties faced by the family (unemployment, salary cuts, separation).
hopeful---anxious---heavy---exhausted---moved
Part2. 五句定框架
Para.2:The apple was refreshing and sweet, and so was the note.
Para.1: That evening, after another long, unsuccessful day, I came home exhausted.
可知，有人留下纸条和苹果（已读）。
可知，作者找工作失败，疲惫沮丧。
Brainstorming
Step 1 定主线——构思两段主要情节
Step 2 确定两段首尾衔接句、结局句以及升华句
Paragraph 1 Paragraph 2 1 衔接para1 首句 6 衔接para2 首句
2 7
3 8
4 9 结局（正能量）
5 衔接para2 首句 10 升华主题
两段首句定一框
由续写的第一段首句与第二段首句确定第一段的框架。
二框二首正能量
第二段的框架，由第二段首句与正能量结尾来确定。
Para 1.A0（段首句） Para 2.B0（段首句）
A1: B1：
A2: B2:
A3: B3：
A4: B4:
A5: B5:
Brainstorming
“我” 疲惫回家的状态，和动作
情感的初步触动和缓和结束
细致描写品尝苹果的感官体验，并再次品味纸条的深意。
这个事件揭示的深层意义（爱的回馈、成长的力量、希望的再生）
交代情感结果或后续行动
1. Action—Response原则
角色A的行为引起其他角色的反应
2. Conflict—Solution原则
原文出现的问题，续写中解决问题
3. Negative—Positive原则
情感变化，积极正能量
Step 3 剩余内容3大补充原则：
适当用上衔接词：immediately, without hesitation, then, after a while, on arrival, with all the work done, however, instead, on/ upon doing…..
Part3. 十句展开剧情
paragraph 1
第一句 情感描写，使用情感万能句,无灵主语句加动作链
e.g. Sb. felt a sense of+情绪名词+welling up in sb’s heart and surging through sb.
第二句 细节描写，使用非谓语结构,形容词作状语
e.g. Doing/Having done/Done A, 主语+谓语 B, doing C
第三句 细节描写:对话描写、内心独白、心理活动，环境描写
e.g. with复合结构
第四句 细节描写，
e.g.倒装句：No sooner had sb done than sb did
第五句 过渡衔接句，使用从句或形容词作状语
1-4句式顺序可根据需要进行调整
“我” 疲惫回家的状态，和动作
描写 “我” 看到便条时的动作和神态
便条内容和“我” 读便条时的内心感受
描写 “我” 的情绪变化，疲惫消散
环境描写，自然过渡到下一段
无灵主语描述情绪+主句动作：
a wave of + 情绪名词（..） + welled up in my heart + 句号+衔接主语动作（dragged one’s feet + sank into the sofa） + 独立主格（ feeling like lead...）补充状态
一阵挫败感/疲惫感涌上我的心头，我拖着沉重的脚步回到家，重重地瘫进沙发里，双腿像灌了铅一样沉重。
第1句： “我” 疲惫回家的状态，和动作
A wave of defeat/exhaustion welled up welled up in my heart after another fruitless day of job hunting. I dragged my feet and sank heavily into the sofa, my legs feeling like lead.
主句动作（one’s eyes was drawn to.../only to find） + 破折号补充事物（there be...） + 主句情绪动作（one’s heart skipped a beat） + a touch of+ 情绪名词 + 驱散（drive away）表伴随
我的目光突然被咖啡桌吸引 —— 桌上放着一个红彤彤的苹果和一张折好的便条 —我的心猛地一跳，一丝惊喜暂时驱散了疲惫
第2句： 描写我看到便签的动作和神态
My eyes was suddenly drawn to the coffee table—there was a shiny red apple and a folded note. My heart skipped a beat, a touch of surprise driving the tiredness away for a moment.
As 引导时间状语从句（sb unfolded... and read...） + 破折号引述内容（直接引语） + A rush of + 情绪名词+ wrapped around one’s chest + 伴随状语（tears pricking my eyes...）
我展开便条，读到杰克凌乱却真诚的字 ——“妈妈，你今天辛苦了，吃个苹果休息一下吧”—— 一股暖意涌上胸口，我还没意识到，眼泪就已经在眼眶里打转了。
第3句： 便条内容和“我” 读便条时的内心感受
As I unfolded the note and read Jack’s messy but sincere words—“Mom, you’ve worked so hard today. eat the apple and take a rest”. A rush of warmth wrapped around my chest, and my tears pricking my eyes before I even realized it.
a sense of + 情绪名词 + gradually took the place of + 原负面情绪 +主句动作 + 伴随状语（and held the note gently in my hand）
一种慰藉感渐渐取代了我的疲惫；我轻轻把便条握在手里，仿佛它是一件能驱散我所有烦恼的小珍宝
第4句： 描写 “我” 的情绪变化，疲惫消散
A sense of comfort gradually took the place of my exhaustion. I held the note gently in my hand, as if it were a little treasure that could drive away all my worries.
环境描写（The room was filled with...） + 感官细节（the soft light of...） + 主句（making... feel...） + 过渡句（and this sweetness would soon lead me to realize...）
房间里满是台灯柔和的光线，让苹果和便条看起来更加温暖. 而这份安静的甜蜜，也让我明白，为何这个小小的传统对我们家来说如此珍贵
第5句： 环境描写自然过渡
The room was filled with the soft light of the lamp, making the apple and the note look even warmer, and this quiet sweetness let me understand why this little tradition is always so precious to our family.
paragraph 1
第一句 A wave of defeat/exhaustion welled up welled up in my heart after another fruitless day of job hunting. I dragged my feet and sank heavily into the sofa, my legs feeling like lead.
第二句 My eyes was suddenly drawn to the coffee table—there was a shiny red apple and a folded note. My heart skipped a beat, a touch of surprise driving the tiredness away for a moment.
第三句 As I unfolded the note and read Jack’s messy but sincere words—“Mom, you’ve worked so hard today. eat the apple and take a rest”. A rush of warmth wrapped around my chest, and my tears pricking my eyes before I even realized it.
第四句 A sense of comfort gradually took the place of my exhaustion. I held the note gently in my hand, as if it were a little treasure that could drive away all my worries.
第五句 The room was filled with the soft light of the lamp, making the apple and the note look even warmer, and this quiet sweetness let me understand why this little tradition is always so precious to our family.
paragraph 2
第一句 衔接提示句---情感/动作链/心理，运用倒装等
e.g.情绪名词A was replaced first by 情绪名词B, and then by 情绪名词C
第二句 心理活动，细节描写，适当添加环境描写
第三句 所感、所悟:无灵主语，呼应第一句的情绪变化
第四句 紧扣原文，交代故事结局（正能量）
第五句 主题升华句，使用强调句/倒装句
吃苹果的感受
和杰克互动
互动后的情绪和心理变化
收拾心情重新找工作
家人的支持
Not only + be 动词 / 助动词倒装（was the apple...） + but (it) + 主句（tasted sweet too） + 非限制性定语从句（which make sb think of）
苹果不仅吃起来清爽，味道也格外甜，这让我想起杰克给我留下纸条时，脸上那温暖的笑容。
第6句： 自然过渡
Not only was the apple refreshing in my mouth, but it tasted sweet too, which made me think of Jack’s warm smile when he left me the small note.
主句（sb made one’s way to...） + 伴随状语（tiptoeing to avoid...） + 场景观察（saw sb doing...） + 情感动作（bent down and did...）
我走向杰克的卧室，踮着脚尖尽量不发出声响吵醒他；看见他在睡梦中呼吸轻柔，于是我轻轻弯腰，在他的额头上印下一个轻吻，以此表达我的感谢。
第7句： 和儿子互动
I made my way to Jack’s bedroom, tiptoeing to avoid making any noise that might wake him up; I saw him breathing softly in his sleep, so I bent down gently and kissed his forehead lightly to show my thanks.
It struck sb that...（我突然意识到） + 核心认知（sb had grown up quietly without ） + 例证分句（he’d learned to... just like...used to do when），升华 “孩子成长” 的主题
我突然意识到，杰克已经在我没察觉的时候悄悄长大了 —— 他学会了在我沮丧时安慰我，就像他小时候我安慰他的样子。
第5句： 互动后的情绪和心理变化
It suddenly struck me that Jack had grown up quietly without me noticing—he’d learned to comfort me when I was upset, just like I used to comfort him when he was young.
The next morning + 主句动作（I put sth in my bag） + 伴随状语（and walked out of the door with ） + 目的状语（get ready to try one’s best to do ）
第二天早上，我小心翼翼地把杰克的便条放进包里，带着比昨天更多的勇气走出家门，并且准备在新面试中全力以赴
第9句： 收拾心情重新找工作
The next morning, having put Jack’s note in my bag carefully, I walked out of the door with more courage than yesterday to get ready to try my best at the new interview
总结句（What I finally learned was that...） + 主题（small acts of love in family） + 结论（are the strongest support ）+that’s what makes +名词+adj
最后我明白了，那些微小简单的爱的举动 —比如一张便条、一个苹果 — 往往是我们面临困境时最坚实的支持，而这正是家人的珍贵之处。
第10句： 环境棉鞋自然过渡
What I finally learned was that those small, simple acts of love in a family—like a note or an apple—are the strongest support when facing hard times，and that’s what makes family so precious.
paragraph 2
第一句 Not only was the apple refreshing in my mouth, but it tasted sweet too, which made me think of Jack’s warm smile when he left me the small note.
第二句 I made my way to Jack’s bedroom, tiptoeing to avoid making any noise that might wake him up; I saw him breathing softly in his sleep, so I bent down gently and kissed his forehead lightly to show my thanks.
第三句 It suddenly struck me that Jack had grown up quietly without me noticing—he’d learned to comfort me when I was upset, just like I used to comfort him when he was young.
第四句 The next morning, having put Jack’s note in my bag carefully, I walked out of the door with more courage than yesterday to get ready to try my best at the new interview
第五句 What I finally learned was that those small, simple acts of love in a family—like a note or an apple—are the strongest support when facing hard times，and that’s what makes family so precious.
That evening , after another long , unsuccessful day , I came home exhausted . 1. A wave of defeat/exhaustion welled up in my heart after another fruitless day of job hunting. I dragged my feet and sank heavily into the sofa, my legs feeling like lead.2. My eyes was suddenly drawn to the coffee table—there was a shiny red apple and a folded note. My heart skipped a beat, a touch of surprise driving the tiredness away for a moment.3. As I unfolded the note and read Jack’s messy but sincere words—“Mom, you’ve worked so hard today. Eat the apple and take a rest”. A rush of warmth wrapped around my chest, and my tears pricking my eyes before I even realized it.4. A sense of comfort gradually took the place of my exhaustion. I held the note gently in my hand, as if it were a little treasure that could drive away all my worries.5.The room was filled with the soft light of the lamp, making the apple and the note look even warmer, and this quiet sweetness let me understand why this little tradition is always so precious to our family.
The apple was refreshing and sweet , and so was the note . 6. Not only was the apple refreshing in my mouth, but it tasted sweet too, which made me think of Jack’s warm smile when he left me the small note.7. I made my way to Jack’s bedroom, tiptoeing to avoid making any noise that might wake him up; I saw him breathing softly in his sleep, so I bent down gently and kissed his forehead lightly to show my thanks.8. It suddenly struck me that Jack had grown up quietly without me noticing—he’d learned to comfort me when I was upset, just like I used to comfort him when he was young.9. The next morning, having put Jack’s note in my bag carefully, I walked out of the door with more courage than yesterday to get ready to try my best at the new interview.10. What I finally learned was that those small, simple acts of love in a family—like a note or an apple—are the strongest support when facing hard times，and that’s what makes family so precious.

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