资源简介

(共13张PPT)
读后续写之
玫瑰花的救赎
The car turned onto the familiar road that led to Grandma’s farm. “Jude, this summer holiday will be a great chance for you to stay with your grandma,” Dad said as he drove. Every moment, we were moving farther away from the city, the place where I knew how to do things right.
The car engine wasn’t off before Grandma hugged me. I slowly dragged myself out of the car. “Jude, you look unhappy. Why ” Grandma asked. She acted like nothing bad had happened last time. Could I ask how much money her neighbor Mr. Jackson had lost because of my mistake Was he still upset with me “I’m fine,” I answered. “I’m just missing my computer puters are something I’m good at.” “That sounds disappointing.” Grandma nodded.
I felt unhappy about my past mistakes and missed my computer camp.
Analyse the text
I traveled to the farm with my dad and missed my life in the city.
I liked visiting the farm during breaks before I messed things up last summer. Grandma lived alone, and Mr. Jackson was like family to her. Then one day I forgot to lock the gate and let the goats into his flower beds. He lost almost all his roses for the farmers’ market.
Now, back at the farm, I felt nervous. I was trying to hide in the room when I saw Mr. Jackson! He was opening the door and calling Grandma. “I need help!” he yelled to her. “Just a second for the freshly harvested roses!” That was when he saw me. I felt my heart tighten and was ready for his criticism. I deserved it. He had probably been waiting for this moment since last summer.
I forgot to lock the gate and goats ruined Jackson’s roses
Mr Jackson asked for help and I feared the criticism
However, Mr. Jackson greeted me happily, “Great, Jude is here! Your grandma always tells us you are a wonderfully competent (有能力的) computer programmer.” I shook my head. “I am not competent. I am sorry I messed things up.” He was surprised and comforted me, “It was an accident. Being competent doesn’t mean you never make mistakes.”
I looked out of the window. There were piles of roses waiting to be sold. “Jude, can you help us We want to sell roses online. We have a computer and all the parts(零件) for our internet connection, but we just can’t set it up,” Grandma asked. No internet. They seemed to live in the twentieth century.
Mr. Jackson greeted me happily and comforted me.
Mr. Jackson asked me for help:
Conflict & Theme
外部冲突
内部冲突
卖玫瑰花
We have a computer and all the parts(零件) for our internet connection, but we just can’t set it up,” Grandma asked. No internet. They seemed to live in the twentieth century.
【How】如何解决问题？
Jude用自己的计算机能力协助Mr. Jackson & Grandma完成网络连接和线上销售工作，使农村进入21世纪，成功弥补之前的错误，销售玫瑰花
我逃避我之前犯下的错误
我认为有能力等于不犯错误，陷入自我怀疑
直面错误，利用计算机能力解决之前犯下的错误
我意识到有能力不等于不犯错误，重拾自信
Conflict & Theme
善良？（It is kindness that makes the world goes around）
科技改变生活？（Technology changes our life）
人物自我成长（敢于面对错误，意识到有能力并不等于不犯错误）
“It was an accident. Being competent doesn’t mean you never make mistakes.” Mr Jackson said.
Maybe I could be someone who was really competent.
Within a few hours, orders for roses flooded in.
Picture the plot
我是否同意帮忙？
我点头同意，表示会全力以赴。
我接下来的行动？
走进屋内，拿工具组建网络。
从P2首句来看，P1应以什么结尾？给我带来什么心理转变？
网店创建好，开始接单。增强信心，渐渐驱散了去年夏天犯错的阴霾。
Within a few hours, orders for roses flooded in.
Picture the plot
衔接
过渡
总结/升华
看到这些订单，Mr. Jackson和Grandma的反应？
俩人脸上绽开惊讶又自豪的笑容，纷纷称赞我的能力。
我们几人接下来的行动？忙完后我们的互动？
整个下午都忙于售卖工作：Grandma包装玫瑰，Mr. Jackson为花束贴上标签，我则回复顾客的咨询。玫瑰售罄后，奶奶再次肯定了我。
这件事给我的感悟？
能力不在于规避错误，而在于直面错误，用自己的才能去疗愈与成长。
写作存在问题
情节脱节：忽略原文伏笔（如农场有电脑和网络零件），凭空添加不合理情节（如 Jude 外出购买新设备），导致与原文逻辑断裂；
心理描写缺失：Jude从不安到自信的转变过程未体现，仅单纯叙述事件，人物形象不丰满。
谦辞造句
1. 见到祖母和杰克逊先生鼓励的眼神，我鼓起勇气，摆脱了挥之不去的自我怀疑，并决心帮助他们，弥补我去年的错误。
【句式一: At the sight of/At the thought of sth, sb did sth】
情节 ①下定决心帮助
情感、动作、神态、环境 动作
_______________________ 鼓起勇气
_________________ 摆脱 _________________ 下定决心做某事
___________________________ 弥补错误
gather one’s courage
shake off
determine to do
make up for
At the sight of Grandma and Mr. Jackson’s encouraging eyes, I gathered my courage, shook off my self-doubt and determined to make up for my mistakes last year
谦辞造句
【句式二: The moment/The minute/The instant/Instantly…, sb did sth】
当…的, 某人…
当我打开电脑检查网络，我的心跳得很快。上传了一张具有吸引力的图片，设置了合理的价格并附上详细的介绍
情感、动作、神态、环境 动作
_______________________ 某人的心因为…情绪狂跳不止
sb’s heart pounded wildly with +情绪名词
The moment/ The instant/Instantly I turned on the computer to check the network, I uploaded an appealing picture, set reasonable price and attach detailed introduction to it
谦辞造句
【句式四: sb said, one’s voice filled with+情感n 】
某人说…,声音充满…
“你把我们的农场带进了21世纪”，奶奶欢呼，声音充满激动与自豪
“You have brought our farm into 21 century,” my grandma cheered, her voice filled with thrill and pride.
翻译练习
我是如此的专注以至于我没有意识到Mr. Jackson站在我旁边
当我触碰到熟悉的键盘，我在城市学习电脑的回忆涌入我的脑海
看到这个多功能的线上商店，我对自己感到非常自豪

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