资源简介

(共25张PPT)
读 后 续 写
-十句五定-
-review-
读后续写三大原则：
①正能量原则：结局必须真善美
②原文一致原则：续写段落不可增加新人物
③曲折性原则：符合原文的跌宕起伏
-review-
读后续写的终极目的：
找到原文角色所面临的问题
→在续写中帮他们解决问题
-十句-
按高考续写150 词左右的要求，将两段续写分为五句 / 段（每句约 15 词），兼顾情节完整和语言简洁，以本文为例：
-五定-
“五定” 是续写前的构思步骤，决定续写的方向、内容和逻辑，是避免偏题、情节混乱的关键：
定主题：紧扣原文核心主旨续写情节需服务于主题，不能脱离原文情感和立意。
定情节：依据原文的伏笔和段落开头语，确定两段的核心情节。
定人物：明确续写中主要人物的行为和情感变化，保持人物性格与原文一致。
定场景：选择与原文契合的场景，场景要服务于情节推进，避免无关场景的堆砌。
定手法：确定要使用的写作手法，让描写更生动，符合读后续写的 “描写要求”。
Lila’s fingers trembled as she stared at the math test paper, and numbers blurred together, formulas slipping from her memory — this was the third mock exam she’d failed. “You’re not cut out for science,” her cousin had sneered (嘲笑) last week, and even her mom had hesitated when she said she wanted to study environmental science. But Lila’s eyes drifted to the photo stuck to her desk: a young girl planting a sapling (树苗), grinning under the sun. That was her, at 10, vowing to protect forests. She couldn’t give up now.
She packed her bag slowly, ignoring the whispers of classmates as she left the classroom. Instead of going home, she walked to the community library, where Ms. Hale, the librarian, always saved a desk for her. “Tough day ” Ms. Hale asked, handing a warm cup of tea across the table. Lila nodded, holding back her tears in her eyes. “I’m so stupid — I’ve studied for weeks, but I still get everything wrong.” Ms. Hale smiled softly, pointing to the potted cactus (仙人掌) on her desk. “See that It seemed to have died last winter, but I kept watering it, now look — new growth.” She tapped Lila’s textbook. “Progress isn’t about being perfect. It’s about not stopping.”
That night, Lila made a plan. She woke up an hour earlier each morning to review formulas, stayed after school to ask teacher for extra practice, and crossed out every negative thought in her notebook. Some days were harder than others — once, she cried after getting a quiz score that barely improved. But she thought of the cactus, and her dream — and kept going. Her classmates started noticing: they saw her raising her hand in class, helping others with problems she’d once struggled with.
On the day of the final mock exam, Lila took a deep breath before opening the paper. Her hands still shook a little, but this time, it was from excitement, not fear. She worked steadily, recalling the hours she’d spent practicing, the encouragement from Ms. Hale, the promise she’d made to her 10-year-old self. When she finished, she felt calm — proud, even regardless of the result.（2025.12凉山一诊）
-五定-
定主题：紧扣原文核心主旨续写情节需服务于主题，不能脱离原文情感和立意。
原文围绕 Lila 因理科学习受挫、却坚守环保梦想，在 Ms. Hale 的鼓励下坚持努力的故事展开，核心主题可确定为 “坚持铸就成长，过程比结果更重要”，同时融合 “他人鼓励的力量”“直面失败的勇气” 等副主题。
-五定-
定情节：依据原文的伏笔和段落开头语，确定两段的核心情节。
第一段（A week later, the teacher handed back the papers.）
核心情节线：发卷时的紧张氛围→Lila 看到成绩的反应（并非满分但大幅进步）→同学 / 老师的态度转变→Ms. Hale 的回应→Lila 的情绪波动（激动 / 释然）。
伏笔呼应：结合原文 “同学的嘲笑”“Ms. Hale 的鼓励”，设计同学从嘲讽到惊讶 / 认可的情节，让情节有因果逻辑。
第二段（It wasn’t about the score, she realized.）
核心情节线：Lila 的内心感悟（分数不是关键）→回忆仙人掌的象征意义→与 Ms. Hale 的互动（表达感谢）→领悟成长的本质→坚守环保梦想的决心。
伏笔呼应：回扣原文中 “10 岁立志保护森林” 的初心，让情节闭环，升华主题。
-五定-
定人物：明确续写中主要人物的行为和情感变化，保持人物性格与原文一致。
Lila：原文中是 “执着、有梦想但易受挫” 的女孩，续写中需体现她从 “紧张焦虑” 到 “释然自信” 的变化，行为上可设计 “主动与同学分享学习方法”“向 Ms. Hale 表达感谢” 等细节，凸显成长。
Ms. Hale：原文中是 “温柔、有智慧的引导者”，续写中她的行为应延续这一特质，如 “看到 Lila 的成绩后微笑点头”“与 Lila 对话时再次用仙人掌比喻成长”，不添加无关性格特征。
同学：原文中是 “嘲笑 Lila 的旁观者”，续写中可设计 “看到 Lila 的成绩后露出惊讶表情”“向 Lila 请教问题” 等情节，体现态度转变，侧面烘托 Lila 的成长。
老师：原文中未详细刻画，续写中可简单设计 “表扬 Lila 的进步” 的细节，推动情节即可，无需过多笔墨。
cousin；mother：
-五定-
定场景：选择与原文契合的场景，场景要服务于情节推进，避免无关场景的堆砌。
教室：作为第一段 “发试卷” 的核心场景，贴合原文中 Lila 参加模拟考、面对同学目光的情节，是情绪冲突与转变的主要发生地。
图书馆：作为第二段 Lila 与 Ms. Hale 互动的场景，呼应原文中 Ms. Hale 的工作地点，也是 Lila 获得鼓励的 “精神港湾”，能自然引出两人的对话与情感交流。
-五定-
定手法：确定要使用的写作手法，让描写更生动，符合读后续写的 “描写要求”
心理描写：重点刻画 Lila 看到试卷前的紧张、看到成绩后的激动、领悟道理后的释然，
动作描写：通过细微动作体现人物情感，。
象征手法：延续原文中 “仙人掌” 的象征意义，将仙人掌的 “枯萎后重生” 与 Lila 的 “受挫后成长” 绑定，
对比手法：将同学 “此前的嘲笑” 与 “现在的惊讶” 对比，Lila “此前的自卑” 与 “现在的自信” 对比，突出成长效果。
Step 1 找到Lila所面临的问题
1.学业困境：数学成绩持续下滑，三次模拟考试不及格，公式记忆模糊
原文：“Lila’s fingers trembled as she stared at the math test paper, and numbers blurred together, formulas slipping from her memory — this was the third mock exam she’d failed.”
补充细节：她努力学习数周，但成绩仍无起色，甚至小测验分数也几乎没有提高，这让她陷入自我怀疑。
2.外界否定与情感支持不足：遭受亲戚的嘲笑，母亲对她的专业选择持怀疑态度，同学的窃窃私语也给她带来压力
原文 1：“You’re not cut out for science,” her cousin had sneered last week, and even her mom had hesitated when she said she wanted to study environmental science.
原文 2：“She packed her bag slowly, ignoring the whispers of classmates as she left the classroom.”
3.自我认知危机：因学业失败而产生强烈的自我否定，认为自己 “愚蠢”，并产生消极想法
原文引用：“I’m so stupid — I’ve studied for weeks, but I still get everything wrong.”
Step 2 找到Lila所面临的问题
1.学业问题：给出明确的 “结果反馈”
不能只写 Lila 努力，必须让她的数学成绩有实质性进步（如期末模拟考及格 / 取得高分），呼应她的付出。
2.外界否定：通过 “行动” 改变他人态度
亲戚、妈妈、同学的态度需要转变，但不能凭空转变，要通过 Lila 的成绩、坚持或行动来触发（如妈妈支持她的专业选择，同学主动向她请教）。
3.自我怀疑：通过 “成功 + 他人认可” 彻底化解
结合成绩的进步和 Ms. Hale、家人的肯定，让 Lila 重新建立自信，明确自己的梦想并非遥不可及。
4.高分关键：必须让 Lila 成功后找到 Ms. Hale 老师
找到 Ms. Hale 的情节是解决所有问题的 “升华点”—— 既回报了老师的鼓励，也完成了 Lila 的成长闭环。
Step 3 确定两段首尾衔接句、结局句以及升华句
Para. 1: A week later, the teacher handed back the papers.
Para. 2: It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第1句：承接A week later, the teacher handed back the papers.
第5句：引出It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第6句：承接It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第9句：正能量美好积极向上的结局
第10句：升华句/主题句
一·情感描写常用句式：
①无灵主语句：
a sense/feeling/wave of ＋情n. welled up in/crept up on/swept over sb.
例：A sense of pride welled up in Lila when she saw her improved score.
②简单句主系表:
sb. felt /was＋情adj.
例：She was overjoyed when she received the teacher’s praise.
③形容词作状语，简单句（主谓宾）
adj，sb did sth.
例：Exhausted, Lila fell asleep on her desk
二·动作（细节）描写常用句式：
①简单主谓宾（运用并列连词将动作连起来）：
主语 + 谓语 1 + 宾语 1 + and /but/so + 谓语 2 + 宾语 2（可叠加多个动作，体现连贯性）
例：She grabbed her test paper and raced to the library to find Ms. Hale.
②with的复合结构＋主句（简单主谓宾）:
With + 宾语 + 宾补（形容词 / 副词 / 现在分词 / 过去分词 / 不定式） + 主句（主谓宾）
例：With a big smile on her face, Lila thanked Ms. Hale for her encouragement.
二·动作（细节）描写常用句式：
③独立主格句：
名词 / 代词 + 宾补（现在分词 / 过去分词 / 形容词 / 副词 / 不定式） + 主句（主谓宾）
例：Her eyes filled with tears, she hugged Ms. Hale tightly.
④非谓语从句＋简单主句：
例：On seeing her score, Lila felt a surge of joy welling up in her heart.
二·动作（细节）描写常用句式：
④倒装句（高分句式）：
a)never倒装结构：否定词 + 助动词 / 情态动词 /be 动词 + 主语 + 谓语
例： Never had Lila felt such a strong sense of achievement before.
b）So + adj./adv. + 助动词 / 情态动词 /be 动词 + 主语 + that 从句
例：So nervous was Lila that her fingers kept twisting the hem of her shirt.
c）Neither/Nor + 助动词 / 情态动词 /be 动词 + 主语
例：Lila didn’t give up, and neither did her classmates who once laughed at her.
d）only by doing sth，can 主语+do sth（倒装＋强调）
例：Only by sticking to her plan every day could Lila improve her math scores.
二·动作（细节）描写常用句式：
④倒装句（高分句式）：
e)not only...but also结构：Not only + 助动词 / 情态动词 /be 动词 + 主语 + 实义动词 + ... but also + 正常语序分句.
例： Not only did Lila wake up early to review formulas, but she also stayed after school to ask for extra practice.
二·动作（细节）描写常用句式：
⑤强调句（高分句式）：
a)It is/was...that/who...
基本结构：It is/was + 被强调部分 + that/who + 句子其余部分
被强调部分是人时，可用 who 或 that；
被强调部分是物、时间、地点、原因等时，只能用 that。
例：Lila realized the importance of effort at that moment.
强调主语：It was Lila who realized the importance of effort at that moment.
强调时间：It was at that moment that Lila realized the importance of effort.
三·善用时间连词或状语，表示动作或事件发生的先后顺序：
①时间连词：
before，after，the moment，while，when，as soon as
②时间状语：
a)表 “此刻 / 那时”:at that moment, at this moment, just then, at the time
b)表 “不久之后 / 最终”:soon after, before long, eventually, in the end, at last
c)表 “同时 / 在此期间”:meanwhile, in the meantime, at the same time
d)表 “从那以后 / 自从”:since then, ever since, from then on
Step 3 确定两段首尾衔接句、结局句以及升华句
Para. 1: A week later, the teacher handed back the papers.
Para. 2: It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第1句：承接A week later, the teacher handed back the papers.
第2句，第3句，第4句
第5句：引出It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第6句：承接It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
第7句，第8句，
第9句：正能量美好积极向上的结局
第10句：升华句/主题句
五句确立情节框架
第 1 句（承接）：A week later, the teacher handed back the papers. Lila’s breath caught when her math test slid onto her desk — the red “89” scribbled at the top glowed like a tiny sun.
第 4 句：Lila traced the number with her finger, the weight of her early mornings and extra practices melting into a warm smile.
第 5 句（引出）：It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
Para. 2
第 6 句（承接）：It wasn’t about the score, she realized. It was about the way she’d refused to crumple when formulas slipped away, or when doubt whispered in her ear.
第 9 句（正能量结局）：Lila handed over the photo and the test paper, and when Ms. Hale nodded, she knew: the dream of planting forests wasn’t just a 10-year-old’s vow — it was a promise she’d keep, one small, steady step at a time.
第 10 句（升华）：Progress, she’d learned, wasn’t about being perfect — it was about showing up, even when the numbers blurred, and letting your own light grow.
补充细节：完整版
A week later, the teacher handed back the papers. Lila’s breath caught when her math test slid onto her desk — the red “89” scribbled at the top glowed like a tiny sun.Her deskmate turned around, eyes wide: “You actually did it! I saw you staying after class every day — this is so cool!”Even her cousin, who’d sneered at her before, leaned over and mumbled, “Guess you are okay at this stuff.”Lila traced the number with her finger, the weight of her early mornings and extra practices melting into a warm smile.It wasn’t about the score, she realized.
It wasn’t about the score, she realized. It was about the way she’d refused to crumple when formulas slipped away, or when doubt whispered in her ear.She stuffed the test paper into her bag, grabbed the sapling photo from her desk, and headed straight for the community library.Ms. Hale looked up from her books, and her face softened when she saw Lila’s grin — and the cactus on the desk, now sprouting three new green shoots.Lila handed over the photo and the test paper, and when Ms. Hale nodded, she knew: the dream of planting forests wasn’t just a 10-year-old’s vow — it was a promise she’d keep, one small, steady step at a time.Progress, she’d learned, wasn’t about being perfect — it was about showing up, even when the numbers blurred, and letting your own light grow.

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