资源简介

(共27张PPT)
Unit 1
Nature in the balance
译林版2020必修第三册
读后续写：与环境保护相关
读话题写作文高一下
Learning objectives
At the end of class, you will be able to：
1.指导学生准确确定文本、时空、人物和事由；
2.指导学生谋篇布局，故事情节衔接自然，叙事完整；
3.指导学生遣词造句，言语得体。
1
2
技法点拨
目 录
CONTENTS
写作实践
技法点拨：
如何衔接关键节点
01
(1)运用“形容词作状语+谓语动词+非谓语”。
①Because she was excited and delighted, she jumped up high and swung her arms in the air.
②Excited and delighted, she jumped up high, swinging her arms in the air.
【分析】①和②都对人物的情感和动作进行了描写，但是②使用了非谓语，使句子看起来更加精简，结构清晰。使用这种句式结构，需要注意保持主语一致。
(2)使用“独立主格结构”或“with的复合结构”。
①She pushed the door open and walked in. Her heart was pounding like drums.
②Her heart pounding like drums, she pushed the door open and walked in.
【分析】①和②都对人物的情感和动作进行了描写，但是②使用了独立主格结构，使句子更精简，句式更有层次感。
1.续写第一段第二句衔接第一段首句，续写第二段第二句衔接第二段首句，描述主要人物的情感与动作
(3)描写“动作链”。
①Jane rubbed her eyes. Then she gathered her strength to stand up.
②Jane rubbed her eyes, gathered up all her strength and struggled to her feet.
【分析】①和②都描述了Jane的动作，但是②使用了动作链，在主语一样的情况下，②显得动作如行云流水，一气呵成，更具有画面感。
(4)使用“无灵主语”技巧。
①She felt so hopeless and her tears streamed down her face.
②A sense of hopelessness engulfed her like a giant beast, with tears streaming down her face.
【分析】①和②都描写了人物的情感，但②使用了无灵主语，更加生动地体现了人物的绝望，更能吸引人的眼球。
(1)分析段首句的关键信息，理清主语、宾语或者表语。
After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag. (2021年八省联考续写第二段首句）
【分析】通读全文，发现they指的是墨西哥一家人，the paper bag用了定冠词the，说明上文必须提到paper bag，因此续写第一段尾句可以写“Holding the paper bag they gave me in hand, I waved to the family with great gratitude.”这样续写第一段尾句就与续写第二段首句前后照应，文章衔接也更加连贯了。
(2)分析续写段首句关键词，添加环境、心理或情感描写。
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. (2016年10月浙。江卷续写第二段段首句）
【分析】原文讲述的是Tom和Jane夫妻俩在野外吵架后迷路的故事，续写第二段首句的daybreak说明Jane在野外度过了一晚，因此上一段的尾句可以描述野外环境以及Jane最后累得睡着的情景，如“Not in a while, darkness ruled the forest. Anxious as she was, she couldn't help falling asleep with tears in her eyes.”
2.续写第一段最后一句，总结第一段、衔接续写第二段首句，起承上启下作用。
(1)提炼主题式结尾
①倒装句：Only then did I realize that they help others not for money but for the happiness of helping people in need.
②否定词+比较级：Nothing is more important than lending a helping hand to people in need.
(2)情感升华式结尾
In great delight, Mike sprang to his feet, throwing his arms around his dad, his heart swelling with gratitude.
(3)环境渲染式结尾
①Bathed in the golden sunshine and gentle breeze, they gazed at each other hand in hand.
②Gradually, the glistening moonlight ruled the air, lighting the dark way home.
3.续写第二段最后一句，交代故事结局并升华主旨大意
写作实践：
环境保护相关读后续写
02
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Maggie and Alex live in a tall building in a neighbourhood in the center of the city. There are no trees near their building, but they are happy in their home and it is close to their jobs.
In the part of the city where they live, there is not much fresh food to buy. The stores only have processed foods in packages. Maggie and Alex and all the other people in the building have to eat food that they buy in boxes and plastic containers.
This makes so much garbage that no one knows where to put it. While they wait for Fridays, when the city collects the garbage, all the neighbours put their trash into bags and sometimes leave it in the hallway or on the big, sunny roof. The whole building looks terrible. No one can spend time playing on the roof because it is full of trash.
One day, Maggie and Alex decide to make a change. They go up to the roof and separate all the recyclable garbage, like cardboard, plastic bottles, glass, and aluminum cans. Then they take all of the garbage down to the street for the garbage collectors.
But they do not carry down the plastic bottles! They cut off the tops and use them as pots to plant tomatoes and carrots. They plant herbs, too.
典例赏析
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para.1:
Maggie and Alex tell their neighbours about their project.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Para. 2:
Now the roof looks beautiful like a garden.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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第一步：读透文本
1.主题分析
本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了Maggie和Alex对所居住社区所作出的绿色改变，并且让整个社区都从中受益。
2. 情节梳理：故事要素
即故事的人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过和结果，也就是我们常说的“5W1H”。
要 素 内 容
when One day
where In a tall building in a neighbourhood in the center of the city
who Maggie; Alex and neighbours
What Maggie and Alex decide to make a change. They go up to the roof and separate all the recyclable garbage, like cardboard, plastic bottles, glass, and aluminum cans.
Why The whole building looks terrible. No one can spend time playing on the roof because it is full of trash.
How
22
第二步：构建情节
1.构思续写两段情节
①由第一段首句内容“Maggie and Alex tell their neighbours about their project. Maggie和Alex把他们的计划告诉了邻居。”可知，第一段可描写邻居知道他们的计划后，很高兴，并且参与到他们的计划中去。续写第一段第二句可以添加一组动作链来描写主要人物的情感与动作。分析第二段首句“Now the roof looks beautiful like a garden.现在屋顶看起来像花园一样漂亮。”可知，续写第一段最后一句可添加作者心理描写来衔接续写第二段首句并承上启下。
思路点拨
②由第二段首句内容“Now the roof looks beautiful like a garden.现在屋顶看起来像花园一样漂亮。”可知，第二段可描写Maggie和Alex以及他们的邻居享受这个被改变的环境，并开始注意保护环境。根据续写技巧可知，续写第二段第二句我们可以使用“无灵主语”技巧来描写作者当时的激动或高兴的心情，最后一句则可以用一个情感升华式结尾来交代故事结局并升华主旨大意（见范文）。
2.续写线索：发现环境很差——决定改变——邻居参与——享受新环境
思路点拨
点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语；
点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句；
点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；
点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。
情节构建的重点
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22
第三步：巧用话题词汇、句式完成句子
1._______________________(兴奋又高兴), their neighbours joined them immediately, ___________________(希望他们尽一份力).
2.From then on, _______________________________(每当他们下班后或在周末有时), all the neighbours go up to the roof.
3.They enjoy the sun and _____________________________ (帮忙照料花园里的植物).
4._______________________________(兴奋和期待交织在一起包围着) Maggie and Alex;
5.They lead all the neighbours to cooperate, and ____________________(通过共同努力), they soon have a big, beautiful vegetable garden !
完成句子
Excited and delighted
hoping they made an effort
Whenever they had free time after work or on the weekends
helped take care of the plants in the garden
A mix of excitement and anticipation enveloped
by working together
6._______________________________________________________(玛吉和亚历克斯内心充满了满足和幸福) as they look the changes, shouting “______________ (我们做到了)!”
7.他们在社区花园里度过时光,享受阳光，产生的垃圾也比以前少了很多。
_________________________________________________________________________.
8.In fact, they even save money_____________________________________ __________________________ (因为他们不需要买那么多包装食品).
9.The garden is a real success, and the building in the center of the city is _____________________________(更加宜居的地方) because of it.
10.所有的邻居都在保护环境，并为自己彼此改善它。
____________________________________________________________________________________________.
完成句子
A feeling of satisfaction and happiness gripped Maggie and Alex
we make it
They spend time in their community garden, enjoy the sun, and create much less garbage
because they do not have to buy so
much packaged food
a much nicer place to live in
All of the neighbours safeguard their environment and improve it for themselves and for each other
Maggie and Alex tell their neighbours about their project. Excited and delighted, their neighbours join them immediately, hoping they make an effort(形容词作状语+谓语动词+非谓语). From then on, whenever they have free time after work or on the weekends, all the neighbours go up to the roof(时间状语从句). They enjoy the sun and help take care of the plants in the garden(场景描写). A mix of excitement and anticipation enveloped Maggie and Alex; they lead all the neighbours to cooperate, and by working together, they soon have a big, beautiful vegetable garden (心理描写；衔接句)!
Now the roof looks beautiful like a garden. A feeling of satisfaction and happiness gripped Maggie and Alex as they look the changes, shouting “we make it!”(无灵主语；衔接句). They spend time in their community garden, enjoy the sun, and create much less garbage(动作链). In fact, they even save money because they do not have to buy so much packaged food. The garden is a real success, and the building in the center of the city is a much nicer place to live because of it. All of the neighbours safeguard their environment and improve it for themselves and for each other(主题升华).
佳作展现
At the end of the lesson, I am able to： 1 2 3 4 5
plan the layout of the story( the plot is natural, and the narrative is good)
use appropriate words and sentences to express what I want to
write an continuation writing properly.
自我评价
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“Judy, hurry up! Let’s go to the beach!” That was a familiar morning call from my older brother, Sirin. Hearing that, I would spring up quickly and we would set off on our journey. Raised by our grandparents in Savanna, we experienced our happiest moments there. Nestled between the mountains and the sea, with its lush green trees, crystal-like ocean, and clear blue sky, Savanna was like a small village from a fairy tale.
Sirin and I often enjoyed the gentle sea breeze as we explored the breathtaking coast, with the endless, open water beside us and the vast, clear sky overhead. We felt a sense of freedom to wander the sandy beach or experience the excitement of sailing out to sea, delighting in the awe-inspiring beauty of nature’s wonders. When we grew tired, leisurely walking on the soft, warm sands to collect unique, fascinating seashells brought us a different kind of peaceful joy. The friendly, warmhearted villagers treated us like family, often sharing their freshly-caught seafood with us.
Three years later, we were taken away from the village to receive a better education by our parents. Occupied with our study, we rarely visited our beloved grandparents, only calling them occasionally. We gradually adapted to the fast-paced city life and found it more efficient and convenient. Whenever we had an appetite for seafood, our dad would simply order it through his phone, and it would be delivered to our doorstep within minutes. In addition to seafood, we could order anything our hearts desired, no matter how late it was. What we loved most was the convenience of not needing to wash the dishes after eating, as they were all disposable, designed for single use.
However, deep within us, we sometimes longed for the simple pleasures of village life. We were told by our grandparents that more and more tourists flooded into the village, which strengthened our desire to return. So, when the eagerly-awaited summer vacation arrived this year, we finally made our dream trip back to our childhood paradise. After greeting our grandparents with hugs and smiles, we eagerly headed towards the sun-kissed seaside to relive our cherished memories.
实战演练
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para1:
However, what we saw shocked us.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Para2:
Hearing Grandfather’s words, we couldn’t wait to do something to tackle the pollution.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
实战演练
注：【思路点拨】见书P50页。
However, what we saw shocked us. Plastic bags and single-use containers littering the beaches, we could hardly see any undersea creature in the once crystal-clear sea(独立主格结构+衔接句). To make matters worse, the water was dark and difficult to see through. Because of the unpleasant smell, we had to cover our noses(场景描写+神态描写). With tears blurring our vision, we desperately wondered what had happened to our beloved village (with复合结构). Looking at our anxious faces, Grandfather sighed with his head bowed. It was those visitors who did help us earn more money, but they also brought massive amounts of rubbish, which caused severe pollution and changed our beautiful village completely(定语从句). While telling us about the changes, Grandfather gazed at the sea, his eyes filled with disappointment and helplessness(情感描写+衔接句).
Hearing Grandfather’s words, we couldn’t wait to do something to tackle the pollution. Without hesitation, Sirin and I took off our shoes and walked near the sea to collect the rubbish with our bare hands(衔接句). Seeing what we were doing, our family and some villagers joined us in our efforts(动作描写), Some villagers fetched helpful tools, like sticks and nets, which were quite useful in catching the waste(定语从句). I also pulled out my mobile phone and took photos of the rubbish floating on the surface of the sea. By posting those images on social media, I hoped more people could be aware of the pollution and lend a helping hand too. Much to our relief, our joint efforts made a difference. The seaside became clean once more, and the breeze from the sea smelled fresh and sweet again(主旨升华).
佳作展现
Thank you
for your listening

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