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(共26张PPT)
高中英语读后续写方法点拨(一)
----以“父亲的花园”为例
-----亲情+人与自我成长
CONTENTS
01
原文内容解读
02
写作思路点拨
03
情感表达句式回顾
04
动手练习之写作篇
05
参考范文
01—原文内容解读
Step 1: Reading the Original Text
Plot
情节
Emotion
情感
Theme
主题
Read for three aspects, pay attention to plot, emotion and theme, and underline the three aspects when Reading.
【Para1】I live in a small but lovely neighborhood. Our house is neither large nor luxurious, but it has a fairly big garden. My father loves his garden. He planted some seeds in it, and took good care of the plants, watering them, applying fertilizer, weeding and getting rid of bugs. He was never tired of doing all that stuff. But at that time, I didn’t understand why working in the dirt excited him so much. 此处的情感基调出现了转折:我不理解父亲行为。
【Para2】Unfortunately, in the summer vacation before my senior high school, my father was seriously injured in an accident. He had to stay in bed for a while. My mother had several business trips, so she couldn’t take care of the garden. I didn’t want my father to worry. I said that I would take care of his garden until he recovered. I assumed(v.认为;假定;假设) that the little plants would continue to grow as long as they had water, and luckily it rained fairly often, so I didn’t think much about the garden.
【para2:父亲因事故重伤，母亲也很忙碌，所以打理花园的任务落到了我的头上，但是我觉得:只要有水，植物就能很好的生长，本段最后1句，为后文的“花园一团糟，蔬菜被虫吃埋下了伏笔”】
原文赏析
【Para1】垫定了全文的温馨基调:父亲很喜欢他的花园，播种种子、精心呵护植物、浇水、施肥、除草和捉虫。PS:“我”并不理解在泥土中工作为何那么令父亲开心。
父亲重伤+母亲较忙:为后文的“我”接替父亲打理花园埋下了伏笔。
【Para3】One Saturday morning, my father said to me, “Christine, the vegetables should be about ready to be picked. Let’s have a salad today!” I went out to the garden and was upset to see that the lettuce (生菜) leaves and carrots had been half eaten by bugs. There were hundreds of bugs all over them!
【Para4】I panicked(adj.恐慌的) for a moment but then I quietly went to the nearest supermarket to buy some vegetables. When I was making the salad, my mother came home and saw the bag from the supermarket in the kitchen. I was embarrassed and admitted, “Dad would like a salad, but the garden is a disaster. I don’t want to disappoint him, so I went to the supermarket and bought some vegetables.” My mother smiled, saying, “Honey, you know what is the right thing to do.”【Para4:“我”去超市买了菜，结果被妈妈看到了，我很尴尬，但是承认了花园未得到我的精心打理这件事。妈妈并未责怪我，而是说，她知道我要怎么把事情做对。】
Para 3:父亲表示“可以采摘蔬菜了”，结果花园一片狼藉的状况，却又在情理之中(我没好好打理花园导致的)。
【本段伏笔】 菜园里的菜没法吃了，我只好去超市买菜。
伏笔一:我是一个敢于承认错误的孩子，这为后文，向父亲认错埋下了伏笔。
妈妈的微笑，说明妈妈根本不会向父亲揭发我，未打理好花园的事，而是在引导我自己发现错误，并改正错误。
注意：(1) 续写词数应为 150 个左右；(2) 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
My father seemed very pleased when I took the salad to him.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Feeling guilty, I decided to do the right thing.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
续写Para1:My father seemed very pleased when I took the salad to him.
1.Start
Para1:父亲喜欢打理花园，我不理解
Father Love
Para2+3:父亲重伤卧床，母亲太忙。我承诺搭理好花园，结果因疏于搭理，导致虫灾严重，无法食用。
Para4:我去超市买菜做沙拉，母亲发现，未责怪我，而是引导我去做正确之事。Embarrassed Admit and feel guilty;【铺垫:我诚实，会认错的】
续写Para2:Feeling guilty, I decided to do the right thing.
2. Development
3. Climax层层铺垫、高潮迭起
4.Resolutions
5. Ending
I confused
promise break promise upset
父亲的喜从何来？父亲又做了、说了什么？
我如何弥补自己的过失，来填补这份父亲的信任和愧疚？
Step2:Understand the plot of the story
P1：
P2：
P3：
P4：
父亲很喜欢他的花园，播种种子、精心呵护植物、浇水、施肥、除草和捉虫。PS:“我”并不理解在泥土中工作为何那么令父亲开心。
父亲因事故重伤，母亲也很忙碌，所以打理花园的任务落到了我的头上，但是我觉得:只要有水，植物就能很好的生长，本段最后1句，为后文的“花园一团糟，蔬菜被虫吃埋下了伏笔”
父亲表示“可以采摘蔬菜了”，结果花园一片狼藉的状况，却又在情理之中(我没好好打理花园导致的)
Author:confused caring upset(break his promise) embarrassed guilty
Mother: caring, considerate and patient;
is good at educating her kid.
Father: Passionate content inclusiveness包容
Love life and positive
Step 3：understand the emotion of the text
“我”去超市买了菜，结果被妈妈看到了，我很尴尬，但是承认了花园未得到我的精心打理这件事。妈妈并未责怪我，而是说，她知道我要怎么把事情做对。
02—写作思路点拨
情感铺垫
先描写父亲品尝沙拉时的喜悦，与“我”内心的愧疚形成对比，突出谎言带来的心理负担。
转折与成长
在母亲的暗示和自我的反省后，我选择向父亲坦白真相，体现诚实的可贵。
主旨与升华
父亲没有指责，反而和“我”一起搭理花园，让“我”真正理解了父亲对花园的热爱---源于责任心和耐心，呼应开头“我”对父亲行为的不理解。
主旨落向人世间的真善美，亲情的可贵和主人公在关爱中的自我成长。
Step 1:Praparations for Writing
Step 2: Conclude the Theme
1.责任与耐心
【我未用心打理花园，导致虫灾，未采摘到蔬菜】
Patience and responsibility
2.诚实、敢于承认错误、知错就改【“我”未好好打理花园，并讲真相告诉了母亲】
Honesty；Admit one’s fault and correct it timely.
1.确定故事发展脉络:
结合para1首句和para2开头可知该段应写:父亲喜悦的的原因和表现。
Step 3: Predict the Plots
第一段首句My father seemed very pleased when I took the salad to him.
故事发展推测如下：
2.如何展现父亲的喜悦:对沙拉很满意；觉得我将花园打理地很好，特别开心。【添加语言描写、吃沙拉的动作描写和情绪描写】
3.细节扩展:父亲大夸偷懒、撒谎的我，我有何反应呢 根据Para2的第1句可知，父亲夸“我”后，我的心情由复杂，转为难堪/尴尬，最后变成了愧疚。
1. 主要内容确定：
作者感到愧疚，从而在母亲的目光引导下，承认自己的错误并加以改正。【可添加情绪、动作描写、心理描写：鼓起勇气、声音颤抖、哭着认错】
。
Step 3: Predict the Plots
第二段首句Feeling guilty, I decided to do the right thing。
故事发展推测如下：
2. 父亲对于“我”承认错误后有何反应？
父亲并未责怪我，而是安慰我。【可添加父亲安慰我的动作描写，间接引语进行语言描写】
3.我如何做正确的事，来弥补过失？又如何升华主旨？
在父亲的帮助下，我将花园打理地越来越好。
我意识到:正是责任和耐心，才让父亲在打理花园时，获得很大的快乐。/花园打理的好坏并不重要，重要的是:拥有承认错误的勇气，并及时改正。
03—情感表达句式回顾
“哭”的表达
1.【眼泪在眼睛里打转】With tears welling up in my eyes, I gathered my courage and told my father in a trembling voice I didn’t live up to(没达到) his expectations and that the garden was a mess(杂乱).
2.【眼泪从脸颊滚落】Tears of sadness/happiness/pride/surprise
rolled down one’s cheeks/welled up in my eyes, who uttered in low spirits that...
3.【漂浮在悲伤海洋】I felt like he was floating in an ocean of sadness and words could not express his sorrow.
4. 【难过，心碎】 I felt blue, whose heart seemed to be torn.
家人们，谁懂？不是一般地难过+愧疚，撒谎、欺骗，我爹还夸我乖，花园打理地不赖。
“羞愧、内疚、心虚”的表达
1.【内疚地耳根发烧】My father kept praising me, making my ears burning.
2.【强颜欢笑、喉咙内疚地发紧】I forced a smile, my throat tight with guilt.
3.【心在胸膛里猛跳】My heart was pounding(n.重击;重击声) wildly(adv.极其;狂暴地) in my chest(n.胸膛) as my father kept praising me.
4.【内疚地几乎说不出话来，还道歉】Feeling guilty, I could barely speak, my voice choked with emotion as I uttered a heartfelt “sorry” to my father.
内疚地想躲进我的鼠鼠洞
“安慰”的表达
【万能安慰: 连续动作三件套】
拍肩膀/摸头 紧紧拥抱 温和地安慰说..;
patted sb. on the shoulder/head gently
hugged/embraced me tightly
comforted（v.安慰） me in a gentle voice
【例句】To my surprise, instead of scolding me, my father patted me on the shoulder/head gently and hugged/embraced me tightly, who comforted（v.安慰） me in a gentle voice that if I needed any help, I could turn to him.
宝儿，知错就改、善莫大焉
主旨升华句
【万能模板钉子句】
1.强调句。It is+被强调部分+that/who...
2.虚拟语气。If it had not been for the experience. sb. wouldn’t have done....
【例句】1.It was through the experience that I realized admitting my fault and correcting it timely made me understand the pleasure of working in the dirt.
2.If it had not been for the experience, I couldn’t have realized that admitting my fault and correcting it timely made me understand the pleasure of working in the dirt.
3.【并列句】I began to enjoy taking care of vegetables and finally understood my father’s pleasure of working in the dirt.
皆大欢喜的结局，让雄鹰般的女人落泪了。俺是土狗，喜欢这结局。
04—动手练习之写作篇
搭建框架、小试牛刀
P1: My father seemed very pleased when I took the salad to him. P2:Feeling guilty, I decided to do the right thing.
第二句:定P1尾句与P2首句的衔接句
第四句:定结尾句
第五句:定升华句
第一句:定接P1首句的衔接句(接语言/动作/神态)
第三句:定接P2首句的衔接句(接语言/动作)
(作者面对父亲的夸赞时的所感所思。)
(作者付诸行动把花园打理好，而且转变了对花园劳作的态度)
(认识错误、改正错误)
Which five sentences can be fixed based on the given sentences
(父亲如何表现出自己的满意的）
(作者承认了自己的错误)
Step 1: Writing写
添加细节、遣词造句
续写第一段：（父亲喜悦的表现以及我的反应）
动作描写：
神态描写：
语言描写：
父亲品尝沙拉
动词：fork/taste/chew 句型：一般过去时下连续的动作。
Dad couldn’t wait to try it. He forked a piece into his mouth and chewed slowly.
父亲满意的微笑浮上脸颊
A satisfied smile spreading across his face.
父亲夸赞的话语
Little did I know you are so good at gardening. You are a woman of your word
作者面红耳赤
My father’s words made my ears burning.
续写第二段：（作者如何改正错误+主题升华）
情绪描写：
语言描写：
对比倒数第二段I was embarrassed.
作者向父亲承认错误时的心情
With tears welling up in eyes…
根据续写第二段首句I decided to do the right thing.
作者承认错误时说的话
I didn’t live up to your expectations and the garden was a mess.
动作描写：父亲听到我坦白时的反应
My father pattered me on the shoulder…
我如何做去改正
I learned to apply fertilizer, weed and remove bugs.
升华：及时承认错误，并付诸行动改正
05—参考范文
【Para1】 My father seemded very pleased when I took the salad to him. “The salad looks amazing, which makes my mouth water. You’ve done a great job with the garden!” He said in an excited voice, who couldn’t wait to taste it. He forked a piece into his mouth and chewed slowly, a satisfied smile spreading across his face (独立主格结构). Giving me a thumbs-up(现在分词做状语), he said, “little did I know you are so good at gardening(部分倒装). You are a woman of your word.” My heart was pounding(n.重击;重击声) wildly(adv.极其;狂暴地) in my chest(n.胸膛) and my ears burning as my father kept praising me(as引导的时间状语从句). Feeling sorry about what I had done(宾语从句), I forced a bitter smile. How could I cheat my father
【Para2】Feeling guilty, I decided to do the right. With tears welling up in my eyes(with复合结构), I gathered my courage and told my father in a trembling voice that I didn’t live up to his expectations(没达到) and that the garden was a mess(宾语从句) and the salad had been made from the vegetables I had bought. To my surprise, instead of scolding(v.责备;责怪) me, my father patted me on the shoulder/head gently and hugged/embraced me tightly, who comforted（v.安慰） me in a gentle voice that if I needed any help, I could turn to him. Under his guidance, I learned to apply fertilizer, weed and remove bugs. The vegetables became better and better day by day, and so did my father. If it had not been for the experience, I couldn’t have realized that admitting my fault and correcting it timely made me understand the pleasure of working in the dirt.

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