资源简介

(共24张PPT)
Unit 4
Journey across a vast land
人教版2019选择性必修第二册
读后续写
读话题写作文高二上
Learning objectives
At the end of class, you will be able to：
1.指导学生准确确定文本、时空、人物和事由；
2.指导学生谋篇布局，故事情节衔接自然，叙事完整；
3.指导学生遣词造句，言语得体。
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2
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技法点拨
佳句仿写
目 录
CONTENTS
写作实践
技 法 点 拨 ：
使续写更加形象生动
01
1. 比喻
(1)The wet air formed clouds, which hung over the treetops like smoke.湿气成云，像烟雾一样笼罩在树梢。
(2)The stars that dotted the sky lit up the night like diamonds. 点缀着天空的星星像钻石一样照亮了黑夜。
2.拟人
(1)The feathery snowflakes danced in the night air, making a beautiful picture.羽毛般的雪花在夜晚的空气中跳舞，形成了一幅美丽的画面。
(2)Twinkling stars were blinking, and fragrant breezes were gently blowing.闪烁的星星眨着眼，芬芳的微风轻轻地吹着。
(3)We turned over stones to be amazed by the creaturcs bencath and hiked through woods to be greeted by the mountains behind. 我们翻转了石头, 惊叹于脚下的生物，徒步穿过树林，迎接身后的群山。
Tip1：修辞写景
氛围是人在一定环境中看到的景象或感觉到的一种情绪或感情, 比如庆祝场面有欢乐的氛围，比赛场面有紧张的氛围，送别场面有依依惜别的氛围等，在写作时，我们可以从视觉、听觉、嗅觉、触觉和味觉来写好这些场景氛围。
(1)Mary turned to the left and walked along the path leading to the huge garden with wide lawns and winding walks.玛丽向左拐，沿着通往有宽阔草坪和蜿蜒小径的大花园的小路走着。（视觉）
(2) People were walking, running or simply sitting on the sandy beach, enjoying the warm sea air and the soft wind that brushed their hair. 人们在散步、跑步, 或者就是坐在沙滩上，享受着温暖的海边空气和拂过发际的微风。（感觉）
Tip 2:感官写景
写景后再添加一个明显的情感描写，就是在景物描写之后，加上一两句自己的情感态度，引起读者共鸣。
(1)Sitting in the warm sunlight, he cheered and clapped, with a bigger smile.
坐在温暖的阳光里，他欢呼、鼓掌，笑得更开心了。
(2)I was seized with the roaring power of nature. A sense of horror creeping up on me.我被自然发怒的力量抓住了。一种恐惧感悄悄爬到我身上。
Tip3：情景交融
在续写中可以通过刻画某一场面的整体氛围, 凸显其给人物的强烈感觉来增强文章的感染力，引起读者共鸣。
As the last note cnded, there was a moment of silencc. Then a wave of
applausc erupted from the audience. 最后一个音符结束时，大家沉默了一会儿。然后观个提发了一阵常声 （田观企的尝声过托表演的成功）
Tip3：环境衬托
佳 句 仿 写：
跟着课文学佳句
02
细节描写
1.北京，一个充满亮点的城市，就如同一个巨大的宝藏，展现出令人惊叹的美丽和魅力十足的历史，欢迎来自国内外的游客。
Beijing, a city of highlights, is like a large treasure, unfolding with breathtaking beauty and charming history to welcome visitors from home and abroad.
3.第二天天气晴朗，玛丽沿着小路走着，来到了有着宽阔草坪和蜿蜒小径的巨大花园。
The next day was clear and mild, and Mary walked along the pathway until she came to see huge gardens with wide lawns and winding walks.
2.从山顶往下看，连绵起伏的山峦和森林看起来气势恢宏, 它的绝美让我惊叹不已。
Seen from the top, the rolling hills and forests looked massive which took my breath away with its exceptional beauty.
原： The next day was clear and mild, and they were pleased to see the beautiful mountains looking out over the city.
原： Canada is like a blooming flower, unfolding with breathtaking beauty and richness to win the hcart of those who cnjoy what it has to offer.
原：Seen from the train window, the mountains and forests of Canada looked massivc.
细节描写
4.这是典型的北京天气，晴朗而温和。
As is typical of Beijing, it was clear and mild.
6.看到男孩子们，他踢掉鞋子，跑进了冰冷的水里。
Seeing the boys, he kicked off his shoes, and ran into the freezing water.
5.第二天，我登上了峨眉山山顶，山上的景色异常美丽，让我惊叹不已。
The next day, I climbed to the peak of Mount Emei, where the beautiful scenery literally took my breath away with its exceptional beauty.
原： Edmonton is freezing cold in winter, with daily temperaturesaveraging-10℃.
原： During their first day, as is typical of Vancouver, it raincd.
原：They went through two wheat-growing provinces, where they saw a bunch of farms that covered a very large area.
细节描写
1.花园景色迷人，他流连忘返，不知不觉天已经黑了。
The garden was so fantastic to admire that he was lost in it, not noticing it had got dark.
原： There are fantastic restaurants and clubs around. too.
03
写作实践:
触类旁通
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Sometimes things don't go as planned, but that doesn't mean they can't still be wonderful in their own way. My parents and I had spent forever researching summer camps online. Finally we picked out one where I could design games, animate(制作动画) characters, and learn other cool coding(编程) stuff.
My mom said, "I like the idea of you exercising that clever brain of yours. But I also want you to get plenty of fresh air.“ "Campers can choose to hike or swim every afternoon!" I said, as I clicked on the registration form.
My dad filled out the form, and weeks later, my parents dropped me off for what I thought would be a week of non-stop computer-coding fun. I arrived at the check-in table at the same time as a camper of my age named Halley, who was wearing an adorable sunhat. Halley greeted, "We are in the same group - number 7." Led by an advisor, we followed the green arrows to the campsite.
I surprisedly found that it was so cool and woodsy along the path. I exchanged ideas with Halley about what might come out of the camp. Halley excitedly mentioned the little animals he loved to observe and something about night sky watching.
"You gave me the best idea, "I said. "I’ll base my characters on the animals you mentioned!“ Halley laughed. "I might be missing something here. Who are these mysterious characters “
"You know, the characters we'll be designing and animating on computers this week!" I said. "Uh, sorry. Still lost, "said Halley. "Why would we be doing computer stuff at Nature Camp "
It was then that I realized some error s must have been made. I must have accidentally clicked on the wrong online form! We immediately raced back to the welcome table to see if could switch over to Tec h Camp, but of course it was completely full.
典例赏析
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Para1:
I forced a smile as we headed for our campsite.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Para2:
“Ok, I’ll have a try,” I looked at Halley thankfully.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
22
第一步：读透文本
1.主题分析
作者参加夏令营，选择了编程项目，但是和一起去夏令营的Halley交流之后，作者发现自己选错了夏令营。他想要改成技术营，却发现已经满员了。
2. 情节梳理：故事要素
即故事的人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过和结果，也就是我们常说的“5W1H”。
要素 内容
who I(Tech-addicted);my parents; Halley(friendly)
when in summer
where in the campsite
why I accidentally clicked on the wrong online form and attended the wrong conflict camp.
what I expected a week of computer coding at Tech Camp, but after exchanging what ideas with Halley, I found I made a mistake and had to stay in the Nature Camp.
how ？
22
第二步：构建情节
What’s the genre of the passage
Narration（记叙文）
Argumentation（议论文）
Exposition（说明文）
Read for the genre
1：两段首句定第一段
根据续写第一段首句“I forced a smile as we headed for our campsite（我们朝营地走去，我强颜欢笑).”以及第二段首句中的“‘OK，I'll have a try，’”可知，第一段应写“我”对没有选择技术营感到遗憾以及Halley走上前对“我”的安慰和鼓励，随后鼓励“我”体验大自然带给“我”的惊喜和兴奋。
2:第二段首句定第二段
根据第二段首句“‘OK， I'll have a try, ’I looked at Halley thankfully.”可知，接下来的内容可以描述他们的所做、所悟、到露营地探索大自然的过程以及自然风光带给作者的享受。可以通过描绘所见到的美景来衬托主人公的心情。
情节可以为：尝试自然营 所见所做收获丰 感激喜悦在心头
思路点拨
I forced a smile as we headed for our campsite . As I stepped forward, I just felt so disappointed that I had to sit down. Seeing that, Halley sat next to me. For the next few minutes, regret immersed me as my treasured Tech Camp slipped away due to my inattention. Then Halley broke the silence, whispering kindly, “I guess it was the call of the wild.” I responded with a bitter smile. He presented the stuff I could enjoy from naturc, suggcsting wc hikc and cxpcricnce it. “You can discovcr uncxpcctedcxcitement, ”he cncouraged me.
“OK, I‘ll have a try, ”I looked at Halley thankfully. We reached the campsite and started to explore the nature. Nature Camp turned out amazing! We turned over stones to be amazed by the creatures beneath and hiked through woods to be greeted by the mountains behind. My favourite time came when we slept out under the stars, talking about ancient Greek stories. Even though I didn’t choose the program onpurpose, Halley was right. Try not to stay stuck in the negative for a whole bunch of ansnzinamoee io im ont and senrise.
佳作展现
At the end of the lesson, I am able to： 1 2 3 4 5
plan the layout of the story( the plot is natural, and the narrative is good)
use appropriate words and sentences to express what I want to
write an continuation writing properly.
自我评价
Thank you
for your listening

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