资源简介

浙江强基联盟2月联考读后续写沉浸写作
浙江省强基联盟2024-2025学年高三下学期2月联考英语试题
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the late 1980s. I was 15. It had been nine years since I last saw my dad. To mark our reunion in the country of my birth, my dad, who adored adventures, wanted me to “visit all your people and see every corner of your beautiful home,” so he took us on a road trip.
However, admiring Jamaica’s landscape was the last thing on my mind as I sat in the back of the Beetle, angry at my dad because he had dropped in and out of our childhood. My aim was to get to know him better. Not Jamaica.
Once, when he was unwell, I had to take the bus back to Kingston later than usual instead of him driving me. The sun was sinking, and the sky was darkening.
“You sure you’re OK to walk up the shortcut to the bus stop ” he asked, sensing my city-girl nerves at the prospect of navigating a lightless country path.
“I’m fine.” I lied.
He rolled his eyes, coughed, put on his jacket and shoes, and led me up the path. As we walked, with leaves rustling（沙沙作响）, he found the energy to give me a mini biology lecture on the luminescent（发冷光的）powers of the fireflies and instructed me to “spot their guiding lights.” Before I knew it, we were safe at our destination.
“Love you, be safe,” he waved to me, before heading back down the dark track, fireflies flashing around him.
“Bye, take care,” I replied. Loving him too, but not always able to say it.
注意：
1．续写词数应为150左右；
2．请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track. I felt a sudden urge to follow.
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me.
文章大意
文章讲述了作者15岁时与分离九年的父亲在牙买加重逢的故事。父亲热爱冒险，希望通过一次公路旅行让作者了解家乡的美景和亲人。然而，作者对父亲的缺席感到愤怒，更想了解父亲本人而非家乡。一次父亲生病，作者不得不独自走夜路去公交站，父亲虽身体不适仍坚持送她，并在路上用萤火虫的光为她讲解自然知识。这次经历让作者感受到父亲的爱，尽管她难以直接表达自己的情感。
文章用词特点分析：
1. 细腻的情感描写
文章通过细节描写传递情感，例如“angry at my dad because he had dropped in and out of our childhood”直接表达了作者对父亲缺席的愤怒。“Loving him too, but not always able to say it”展现了作者内心的矛盾和对父亲的爱。
2. 生动的环境描写
文章通过环境描写营造氛围，例如“the sun was sinking, and the sky was darkening”描绘了傍晚的景色，烘托了作者独自走夜路的紧张情绪。再如， “leaves rustling”和“fireflies flashing around him”通过声音和视觉细节增强了场景的真实感。
3. 简洁而富有表现力的对话
对话简短但富有情感，例如“You sure you’re OK to walk up the shortcut to the bus stop ”展现了父亲的关心。再如，“I’m fine.” I lied. 通过简短的对话和内心独白，揭示了作者隐藏的紧张和对父亲的依赖。
4. 象征手法的运用.
萤火虫的“guiding lights”不仅是自然现象，也象征了父亲在作者生活中的引导作用。（也有可能是我想多了）
此外，黑暗的小路和萤火虫的光芒形成对比，象征了作者内心的困惑与逐渐萌生的理解。
文章通过细腻的情感描写、生动的环境描写和简洁而富有表现力的对话，展现了父女之间复杂的情感变化。语言风格朴实而诗意，象征手法的运用增强了文章的深度和感染力。整体上，文章用词精准，情感真挚，既展现了作者对父亲的愤怒与爱，也描绘了父女关系逐渐修复的过程。这些语言用词特征，值得我们揣摩模仿，我们在续写的时候要尽量坚持再现，以实现语言协同。
写作难点和方向
这篇文章的写作难点在于如何在续写部分自然地延续原文的情感和主题，同时保持故事的连贯性。
原文通过细腻的描写展现了父女之间复杂的情感，既有疏离感，也有逐渐萌生的理解和爱。续写部分需要继续捕捉这种微妙的情感变化，尤其是女儿对父亲态度的转变。
据此，续写情节构思如下：
第一段：
1.女儿跟随父亲，表达了对父亲的关心。
2.父亲发现女儿跟随，表现出惊讶和感动。
3.父女之间的对话或动作进一步逐渐拉近了两人的距离。
第二段：
1.父亲带女儿游览家乡，分享自己的故事和回忆。
2.女儿通过父亲的介绍，重新认识家乡的美景和文化。
3.女儿对父亲的态度发生变化，从愤怒和疏离彻底转变为理解和接纳。
1.人物关系： 续写部分需准确体现父女关系的复杂性，尤其是女儿对父亲从愤怒到理解的转变。若人物关系错位或情感逻辑不合理，得分不超过18分。
2.情节合理性： 续写情节需与原文协同，不能出现逻辑矛盾或情节脱节。若情节不合理，得分不超过15分。
3.第一段情节协同： 第一段需围绕女儿跟随父亲的情节展开，体现女儿对父亲的关心和情感变化。若未提及女儿跟随父亲或情感变化不明显，得分不超过12分。
4.第二段情节协同： 第二段需围绕父亲带女儿游览家乡的情节展开，体现父女关系的修复和女儿对家乡的重新认识。若未提及父亲分享故事或女儿对家乡的新感受，得分不超过12分
第一段分析：
提示语：However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow.
好，首先我们看到父亲准备离开了，背对着女儿，往回走。这个时候，女儿的内心似乎有点被什么东西牵引住了，突然就有了一种想要跟上的冲动。是不是感觉她心里有点复杂的情绪？可能有些愧疚，也有些不舍。那种矛盾的心理让她的脚步几乎不由自主地跟着走了。而且，你有没有注意到，这个“dark track”这个词暗示了那种孤单和不确定感，也让她的决定变得更有冲动感。下一步肯定是她迈开了步伐，加速追赶，情感也开始变得急切起来。
My feet moved almost on their own, as if drawn by the faint glow of the fireflies and the sound of his fading footsteps.
你看，她的脚步像是自动的，几乎不需要她自己去控制，似乎是被什么东西吸引了。是的，那个“faint glow of the fireflies”和“fading footsteps”像是无形的线，把她牵引着。这里写得挺有意思的，不是吗？她可能意识到，自己有些无法抗拒地想去跟着父亲。就是那种感觉，既不完全是理智的决定，也不完全是情感的推动，更多的是一种被动的跟随。接下来她心里可能会想着自己到底在做什么——是出于好奇，还是想弥补和父亲的距离？这个时候，她可能有点想叫住父亲，但又不想。
I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to wait, but the words stuck in my throat.
你看，这里写出了她内心的小挣扎。她确实有话想说，可能是想喊父亲停下来，或者直接问他为什么走得这么快。但是话到嘴边又咽回去了，卡在了喉咙里。是不是感觉很真实？这种“卡住的感觉”就像是我们生活中常会遇到的情况——明明心里有话要说，但又总是开不了口，可能是害怕被拒绝，或者根本不知道怎么说。接下来她应该会有某种行动，因为她不能就这样停在那里不动，是不是？她可能会加快步伐，去赶上父亲。
Instead, I quickened my pace, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination.
哦，终于行动了！她加快了步伐，而且心跳得很快，内心也有那种既紧张又坚定的感觉。你是不是也能感受到她内心的那种微妙变化？她一方面害怕，毕竟这个地方对她来说并不熟悉，另一方面她也很决心，想要跟上父亲，想要弥补那些年没有和父亲在一起的遗憾。所以她的步伐变得更加急促，似乎有种无形的力量推着她前进。接下来肯定是她追上父亲了，而且应该有个小小的情节转折吧。
When I finally caught up to him, he turned, surprised but not displeased.
终于，她追上了父亲！你注意到这里吗？父亲回头时表现出“surprised but not displeased”的反应，既是惊讶，又不至于生气。这种反应有点温和对吧？他虽然有点意外女儿会追上来，但并没有发火。反而，我们能感觉到，他似乎并不生气，可能还带有一点宽容。接下来，父亲肯定会问她怎么回事了，而她的解释会让父亲更温柔地看待她。
“What are you doing here ” he asked, his voice soft but firm.
父亲的语气“soft but firm”，很有意思吧？虽然语气柔和，但还是带着一点严肃。看似质问，但其实是关心。你觉得，父亲其实并不想责备她，而是想知道她为什么会跑出来追他。这个时候她心里可能有点紧张，但她也应该是想说些什么。接下来，她可能会有点结巴地说，自己并不是故意跟过来的，只是想确保他安全。她的解释应该带有一点羞涩，又有一些自我辩解的成分。
“I... I just wanted to make sure you got back safely,” I stammered, my cheeks burning.
她结巴了，说不出话，脸红了，说明她其实有点紧张和害羞。这是很真实的心理描写，大家都经历过这种心跳加速的情境吧？她知道自己这么做有些突兀，但还是忍不住要为父亲担心。她的这种表现，会让读者感受到一种情感的真实和直接。接下来，我们可以预见到父亲会笑一笑，打破这种紧张感，给女儿一些安慰。
He chuckled, a warm sound that eased the tension in the air.
父亲的笑声真是“救场”的关键！你看，这个笑声一下子让空气中的紧张感消散了，瞬间让氛围变得温暖起来。父亲通过笑声缓解了女儿的紧张，也给了她一个肯定的信号——他并不生气，相反，他似乎很欣赏女儿关心自己的举动。接下来，我们可以看到父亲可能会温和地说些话，告诉女儿她像她妈妈一样总是为别人着想，这也是父亲的一种关怀。
“You’re just like your mother,” he said, shaking his head. “Always worrying about everyone else.”
这句话的语气很柔和，既是对女儿的夸奖，也带着一些轻松的调侃。你看，父亲并没有严肃地批评，而是用一种轻松的方式缓解了两人之间的尴尬，也表达了对女儿行为的理解。通过这句话，父亲的爱和宽容更加展现出来了。接下来，我们可以看到，父女俩继续走回去，彼此之间的距离又拉近了一些。接下来，读者也应该能感受到，他们之间开始有了更深的情感连接。
We walked back together, the fireflies lighting our way, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of connection, as if the distance between us was slowly closing.
这最后一句写得特别好，火光的照耀象征着他们之间那渐渐重新点燃的情感。你能感受到吗？他们之间的那道隔阂在这一刻终于开始慢慢消失了。走回去的路上，火虫的光仿佛也在照亮他们之间的关系，让他们开始重新建立连接。这一刻，女儿内心的孤独和疏离感消散了，取而代之的是一份温暖的归属感和连接感。
第二段：
提示语：A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me.
我们来看看这个句子，首先，“a couple of days later”这个时间标记告诉我们，时间已经过去了几天，也就是父女之间有了些冷静期。从之前的紧张、突然的情感互动，到这个时候，感觉气氛稍微轻松了些。父亲决定带着女儿一起去环岛游。你能感觉到吗？这次旅行不仅是为了看风景，还是父亲和女儿重新建立联系的一种方式。下一步，父亲一定会通过一些话语或者行动，来进一步拉近他们之间的关系。所以，这一段应该开始描写他们在路上的互动，带有一种轻松、愉快的氛围。
The sun was high, casting a golden glow over the rolling hills and vibrant fields.
看！这句描写非常美，阳光照射下的自然景色给人一种温暖和宁静的感觉。你注意到“casting a golden glow”这个词了吗？它不仅在描述风景，也是在为接下来的情感发展铺垫氛围。阳光温暖的金色光辉，给这段父女旅行增添了一层美好的色彩，似乎象征着他们之间的关系也在慢慢变得明亮和温暖。是不是觉得，接下来父亲一定会通过分享一些故事，来进一步加深与女儿的连接呢？
As we drove, he pointed out landmarks and shared stories from his own childhood—tales of mischief and adventure that made me laugh and see him in a new light.
这句话真的挺有意思的，父亲开始通过回忆自己小时候的故事，来带动女儿对他的重新认知。你有没有注意到，这些故事都是“mischief”和“adventure”，也就是说，父亲通过这些有趣的故事让女儿感受到他年轻时的活力和顽皮，这不仅让女儿笑了，也让她以不同的眼光看待这个父亲，看到他那一面“有趣”的、与自己小时候的形象不同的一面。这种“重新认识”给人一种轻松又愉悦的感觉，仿佛是两个陌生人开始慢慢熟悉起来，彼此之间的距离越来越近。那么，接下来的句子，父亲应该会通过一种更为直接的方式来强化这份情感吧。
“This is your home too,” he said, his voice filled with pride. “It’s a part of you, just like it’s a part of me.”
这句话真的很有分量。父亲直接告诉女儿，这里不仅是他的家，也是她的家。从这个句子里，我们能感受到父亲的骄傲和深深的情感投入。你有没有觉得父亲这时候的情感突然间就升温了？他不仅仅是在带女儿游玩，他其实在通过这种方式告诉她，“你是我的一部分，你是这个地方的一部分。”这句话有种归属感的力量，让人觉得温暖。父亲不仅仅是想要分享美丽的景色，更是在通过这种分享，让女儿感受到和他之间的关系有了更深的联系。接下来，女儿可能会有一种回应，感受到这份父爱，也许会让她内心的某些情感得到释放吧。
I nodded, feeling a sense of belonging I hadn’t realized I’d been missing.
她点了点头，你觉得她为什么会点头呢？是的，因为这句话触动了她的内心，让她意识到，自己一直以来似乎在这个家庭、这个地方有些缺席。而父亲的话语就像是一个钥匙，打开了她内心深处的那扇门，原来她一直在寻找一种归属感，只是自己没有察觉。你看，这个小小的动作——点头，其实表达了她内心深处的变化：从一开始的不理解，到现在的认同。她开始意识到，自己和这个家、和父亲之间的关系不再只是疏远的，而是有了深厚的根基。接下来，我们可能会看到，女儿的情感开始从过去的愤怒和距离感中解脱出来，变得更加温暖和接纳。
The anger I’d carried for so long began to melt away, replaced by a growing appreciation for the man beside me and the land that had shaped us both.
这一句是整段情感的转折点。你能感觉到她内心的变化吗？她曾经的愤怒和不满已经开始慢慢消失了，取而代之的是一种新的情感——对父亲的欣赏和对这片土地的认同。这种变化很有力量，因为它意味着她开始理解父亲，也理解他所带来的影响。其实，这个时候，她不仅是在理解父亲，还是在接纳这片曾经对她来说陌生的土地。父亲、土地、自己之间的关系开始变得和谐。
整个写作过程中，我们从父亲和女儿的对话、互动中逐渐揭示了两人之间逐渐升温的感情。通过自然景色的描写和父亲的故事分享，父女关系开始有了显著的变化。而女儿的心理变化也被逐渐揭示出来，她从过去的愤怒和疏离感中走出来，开始感受到归属感和对父亲的认可。每一个细节都在为这段情感的升华铺路！
完整版
连句成文：
第一段：
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow. My feet moved almost on their own, as if drawn by the faint glow of the fireflies and the sound of his fading footsteps（协同呼应）. I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to wait, but the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I quickened my pace, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination. When I finally caught up to him, he turned, surprised but not displeased. “What are you doing here ” he asked, his voice soft but firm. “I… I just wanted to make sure you got back safely,” I stammered, my cheeks burning. He chuckled, a warm sound that eased the tension in the air. “You’re just like your mother,” he said, shaking his head. “Always worrying about everyone else.” We walked back together, the fireflies lighting our way（协同呼应）, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of connection, as if the distance between us was slowly closing. （字数稍多，不想删了）
第二段：
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me. The sun was high, casting a golden glow over the rolling hills and vibrant fields.（环境渲染） As we drove, he pointed out landmarks and shared stories from his own childhood—tales of mischief （捣蛋）and adventure that made me laugh and see him in a new light. “This is your home too,” he said, his voice filled with pride. “It’s a part of you, just like it’s a part of me.” I nodded, feeling a sense of belonging I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. The anger I’d carried for so long began to melt away, replaced by a growing appreciation for the man beside me and the land that had shaped us both.
官方范文如下：
However, as he started to walk back down the dark track, I felt a sudden urge to follow. I couldn't let him go alone, not in his condition. I called out to him, “Dad, wait!” He turned around, a bit surprised but also relieved to see me. “You okay, love ” he asked, concern etching his face. I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. “I just. .. I want to make sure you're okay,” I stammered, trying to hide my worry. He smiled gently, patting my hand. “I'm glad you're here,” he said, his voice softening. We walked together, the fireflies tiny lights a comforting presence in the dark. It was in these moments，walking side by side, that I began to see him not just as my distant father but as a man with his own stories and struggles and the distance that had once felt so vast was now beginning to close, one step at a time.
A couple of days later, my dad took a drive around Jamaica with me. Sitting beside him in the car, I listened as he spoke-not just about the landscapes, but about his life. He pointed out the places he had explored as a young man， the rivers he used to swim in, and the small villages where he had made friends. Every wave he exchanged with passersby, showed me a side of him I had never seen before. Slowly, my frustration began to fade, replaced by curiosity, and then admiration. For the first time, I saw Jamaica not just as a place but as a part of him-his past, his home, his identity. And in embracing his world, I found myself understanding him in a way I never had before. Maybe love didn't always have to be spoken; sometimes, it was simply about being present, about choosing to see someone for who they truly were.
本文值得我们学习的是，如何描写作者对父亲的情感态度转变。
以下这些句子通过细腻的描写，展现了作者从愤怒、抗拒到理解、接纳的情感转变过程。每一句话都体现了作者内心的变化，最终完成了对父亲的情感重建。
1. As I followed him down the dark track, my heart pounded with a mix of fear and curiosity. I wanted to see where he was going, but more than that, I wanted to understand who he really was.
当我跟着他沿着黑暗的小路走下去时，我的心跳加速，充满了恐惧和好奇。我想看看他要去哪里，但更重要的是，我想了解他到底是一个怎样的人。（作者开始主动接近父亲，内心充满了探索和理解的渴望。）
2. Watching him walk alone, his figure illuminated faintly by the fireflies, I felt a pang of guilt for all the times I had pushed him away.
看着他独自走着，萤火虫微弱的光芒照亮了他的身影，我为曾经无数次将他推开而感到一阵内疚。（作者开始反思自己的行为，内心产生了愧疚感。）
3. I realized then that his absence wasn’t just about him leaving—it was also about me refusing to let him in.
那时我意识到，他的缺席不仅仅是因为他离开了——也是因为我拒绝让他走进我的生活。（作者开始从更客观的角度看待父女关系的疏远，认识到自己也有责任。）
4. As I stood there in the darkness, I whispered to myself, “Maybe it’s time to stop being angry and start being open.”
当我站在黑暗中时，我轻声对自己说：“也许是时候停止愤怒，开始敞开心扉了。” （作者决定放下愤怒，尝试用更开放的心态面对父亲。）
5. When he turned around and saw me standing there, his eyes widened in surprise, but then he smiled—a smile that felt like a bridge between us.
当他转过身看到我站在那里时，他的眼睛因惊讶而睁大，但随后他笑了——那笑容像是一座连接我们的桥梁。（作者内心开始软化。）
6. In that moment, I felt something shift inside me, like a heavy weight lifting off my chest.
在那一刻，我感到内心有什么东西发生了变化，就像一块沉重的石头从胸口移开了。 （作者内心的负担逐渐减轻）
7. His voice, filled with pride and nostalgia, made me see him not just as my father, but as a person with his own dreams and struggles.
他充满自豪和怀念的声音让我不再仅仅把他看作我的父亲，而是一个有着自己梦想和挣扎的人。 （作者开始理解）
8. As he said, “I’ve always loved you,” I felt tears welling up in my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I finally believed him.
当他说“我一直爱你”时，我感到眼泪在眼眶中打转，不是因为悲伤，而是因为我终于相信了他。 (作者的情感彻底释放)

展开更多......

收起↑