资源简介

(共16张PPT)
Continuation writing:
An unexpected gift
阅读分析
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初步写作
Reading the material
第
01
章
Who 情节线（多找v.） 情感线（adj.）
角色1
角色2
角色3
角色4
What关键句（问题与矛盾）
P1P2关键词
描写手法占比 语言/动作/心理/情绪/环境由高低顺序为：
I still remember the day when we decorated the house. I was ten and it was two weeks before Christmas. I was looking forward to my presents. Since I'm the youngest in the family, all of the family members would give me a gift one way or another. Sometimes it was a cookie or a hug but it was always there. I was the only center of attention and it was feeling good.
An unexpected Christmas gift
My uncles usually would ask me what I wanted before Christmas and that year I knew what I wanted. It was the spaceship I saw in the ads. I was dreaming of opening a big gift box, and it was there. But that year it came in a way that I wasn't expecting.
It was two weeks before Christmas. Just two weeks. She couldn't wait. My dear mother told my father that it was time, and then we went to the hospital. After an hour, they told me that I had a sister now. But I didn't want a sister. I wanted a spaceship. The next few days went so fast. No one was caring about me. Everyone was talking about her and I knew that my life is never going to be the same ever again. I wasn't ready to grow up, to be a big brother. But it just happened in an instant.
On the day before Christmas, everyone was in our home, talking only about my newborn sister. My family was becoming hers. Even my uncles didn't ask me anything about the gift. She stole everything I’d ever had，my life and my presents. Thinking about this，I cried to sleep. I had a nightmare（噩梦）and woke up at the middle of the night. Shadows were all around me, and I was defenseless and so weak.1 ran into my parents’ bedroom but couldn't wake up my poor parents who were just too worn out. I was standing near their bed, trying not to cry when I saw her. She was awake and looking at me with her big eyes in her small bed.
故事山 story mountain
The beginning
Development
Climax 高潮
Resolution 解决
The ending
Writing the framework
第
02
章
两个段首例句确定第一段
关键词：cry---comfort
句式：after doing sth
I comforted my young sister
动作描写为主
关键词：something，inside
标题
伏笔：but it just happened in an instant
Sister was the best gift I had received
段首句及主题标题，伏笔确定第二段
Para.2:After having comforted her, something slowly changed inside me.
续写框架：
Para.1:Suddenly, she started crying.
动作，心理描写为主
妹妹的反应：头，脸，四肢，五官…
我安慰：轻抚，轻拍，抱着轻轻
摇晃，握着，哼歌，转移注意力…
温柔地，轻缓地，有耐心地，有节奏地…
妹妹平静下来，我也长舒一口气
1
2
3
4
5
续写框架：十句五定
Para.1:Suddenly, she started crying.
动作描写
我的反应：紧张，害怕,不安
参考句式
谓语动词三联动
非谓语
1）V-ing, 主语+谓语
2）Having done, 主+谓
3）Done, 主语+谓语， doing sth
3. with复合结构
4. 定语从句
5. 倒装句 so adj. be 主语 that
6. so…that…
参考词汇
clench攥紧 wriggle 扭动 kick踢
Pat touch whisper hold
Wrinkle眨眼 embrace/hug
Rock摇晃 lie
Rhythmically有节奏地
Assessing the paragraph
第
03
章
Reviewing the writing
Step A Self-check（自查表）
Self-check list
1.I am sure I spelt every word correctly. (每个单词都拼写正确了)
2.I began every sentence with a capital letter. （每句话的第一个字母都大写了）
3.I capitalized all proper nouns (names, cities, countries, etc.). (专有名词第一个字母都大写了）
4.I ended every sentence with the correct punctuation. （我使用了正确的标点符号来结束每一句话）
5.I used commas correctly in compound sentence. （在并列句中我正确使用了逗号）
6.I checked that each sentence has a subject and a verb. (我检查了每一个句子都有主语和谓语)
7.The verbs agree with the subjects in number and person. (谓语动词和主语在人称和数上一致)
8.I used the correct tense for each sentence and the entire passage. (每个句子和整篇文章都使用了正确的时态）
9.I used personal pronouns correctly. (人称代词使用正确)
10.I copied out my composition with beautiful handwriting. （我用漂亮的书法写了作文）
11.I finished my paragraph in approximately 80-90words in total.(我文章的字数大概在80到90之间)
Step 4 Reviewing the writing
Step B Group Grading
评价内容 评价标准 定位 得分
语篇内容Content(8) C8(7-8分) 情节设计合理，能适当发挥使内容充实；与所给短文融洽度高，与各个段落开头语衔接合理。 C6(5-6分) 情节设计较为合理，个人发挥较少，内容欠充实；与所给短文基本融洽，与各个段落开头语衔接合理。 C4(3-4分) 情节设计上存在突兀的地方，匆匆结尾，表意不够完整；体现不了衔接与融洽。 C2(1-2分) 情节设计上存在突兀的地方，续写没写完，表意不够完整。 C0(0分) 只写出少量词语，不能清晰表达语义。
篇章结构Structure(7) S7(6-7分) 逻辑清晰且顺畅，能正确使用衔接词或连词等过渡性语言，行文连贯。 S5(3-5分) 语句间逻辑关系相对清晰，过渡衔接不是很流畅。 S2(1-2分) 语句间逻辑关系有点混乱，想到哪里写哪里，过渡较少。 S0(0分) 只写出只言片语，无过渡可言。
词汇语法Language(8) L8(7-8分) 能准确使用丰富的词汇句型进行表达，语句通顺且表意明确。 L6(5-6分) 能使用简单常用的词汇句型进行表达，有些许用词或语法上的错误，但尚可达意。 L4(3-4分) 有较多词汇和语法错误，影响表意；出现拼写错误。 L2(1-2分) 没有清晰的语法意识，不能达意；只能传达少量信息。 L0(0分) 无意义的单词堆砌。
书写Handwriting(2) H2(2分) 书写工整，卷面整洁，比较清晰的英语手写体，字数符合要求。 H1(1分) 书写清晰，可读；少量单词书写潦草不能辨别；字数基本符合要求。 H0(0分) 书写不规范或难辨认；单词与单词间无合适空隙，阅读困难；字数不够或者超过规定字数太多。
最后得分
Thanks for listening

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