资源简介

(共22张PPT)
浙江省名校协作体2025-2026学年
高二上学期开学联考 续写核心方法指导策略
The blank canvas (画布) stared back at me, its whiteness scarier than any exam I’d ever taken. My fingers trembled as I held the paintbrush. “Remember, class,” Mrs. Larson’s voice echoed in my mind, “your final project should reflect your personal journey this semester.” I swallowed hard. Three months ago, I wouldn’t have dared to set foot in this room. Art had always been Mia’s territory (领地) ——my best friend since third grade who could make magic happen with just a pencil and paper.
It all started on that rainy September afternoon in the library when I was drawing on my math notebook. Mia had picked it up before I could stop her. “Amazing, Lily!” she said, her green eyes wide with genuine excitement. “The way you play with negative space (留白)...you have to join art club!”
Now, as I looked at the pile of failed attempts beside me ——a sunset that looked like a traffic light. I wondered if I’d made a terrible mistake. The Spring Art Exhibition was just two days away, and my confidence was fading faster than the cheap watercolors on my practice sheets. A soft knock stopped my thoughts. Mia popped her head in. “Still here ” She slid into the seat beside me, eyeing my latest failure. “You’re overthinking it,” she said gently. “Art isn’t about perfection. It’s about...”
“Expression, I know,” I finished for her, sighing. But how could I express what I didn’t even understand myself The bell rang, signaling the end of after-school hours. Mia hesitated at the door. “Just...try painting how you feel, not what you see.” As her footsteps faded down the hallway, I turned back to the blank canvas. For the first time, I noticed how the afternoon sun streaming through the windows made the white surface shine like fresh snow. Taking a deep breath, I reached for the black paint.
Paragraph 1:The clock struck midnight as I finally stepped back from the painting stand.
Paragraph 2:Two days later, I was surprised to see so many people gathering around my work at the exhibition.
核心方法①：
精准衔接开头
时间
场景
关键提示
midnight
art classroom
try painting how you feel, not what you see
核心方法②：
搭建“双线索”结构，让故事有逻辑、有温度
“时间顺序+事件发展”推进
Plot line
Emotion
line
创作中
创作后
展会上
展会后
转折情绪
初始情绪
中间情绪
最终情绪
创作中
When I mixed the wrong color and drew a crooked line, I suddenly remembered Mia’s words. I put aside the thought of “painting perfectly”and used dark colors to show my nervousness, bright colors to show my courage.
创作后
Looking at the imperfect lines on the canvas, I didn’t feel upset. Instead, I felt a sense of peace. When I packed the paints, I couldn’t help looking back at it again.
I finished the painting. ×
Plot line
展会上
When I saw people gathering around my work, I clenched the corner of my clothes unconsciously. I wanted to hide but couldn’t help listening to their talks.
展会后
Mia pulled my hand and grinned,“I knew you could do it!” Mrs. Larson nodded ,saying “This is exactly your personal journey”.
用评价收尾
设计场景
Emotion
line
初始情绪
面对空白画布：
看到失败草稿：
My fingers trembled.
I sighed.
fear
self-doubt
转折情绪
Mia离开后：
hesitant
I picked up the black paint.

attempt
中间情绪
画到忘时间:
I stared at the canvas in a daze.
My eyebrows relaxed.
focus
完成后:
I smiled at the canvas.
calm
最终情绪
展会看到人群：
听到夸赞：
得到认可：
My heart raced.
nervous
the corners of my mouth lifted
surprise
I straightened my back.
pride
核心方法③：
用“细节描写”填充内容，告别“plain writing”
1. 感官细节：调动“看、听、触”（画面感拉满）
2. 动作细节：让人物“move vividly”（别只写“stand”“sit”）
3. 心理细节：让情绪“be seen”（别直接说“我很紧张”）
感官
动作
心理
看：The dark blue paint looked like the night sea, and the golden strokes were like moonlight on the waves. There was still a little wet paint shining on the edge.
听：I could hear the brush brushing the canvas (沙沙声). In the exhibition hall, someone whispered, “The colors are so expressive”.The voice was soft, like they were afraid to disturb the painting.
触：When I first held the brush, my hands were cold and shaking. But as I painted, my fingertips turned warm. The wet paint on my fingers felt smooth and cool.
1. 感官细节：调动“看、听、触”（画面感拉满）
创作时：I dipped the brush into the blue paint, turned my wrist gently, and let the paint spread on the canvas. Then I added a bold orange stroke suddenly—it was like lighting a small lamp in the dark.
2. 动作细节：让人物“move vividly”（别只写“stand”“sit”）
展会上：I clutched the corner of my clothes and hid behind a pillar. I stood on tiptoe, my eyes fixed on my painting, afraid to miss any comment.
紧张：My heart was pounding like a drum. Thoughts like “Will they think my painting is ugly ” kept popping into my head. I picked at the corner of my clothes unconsciously.
开心：When I heard the praise, it felt like a small flower bloomed in my heart. The corners of my mouth lifted involuntarily, and my eyes got a little wet. I quickly looked down to pretend to tidy my clothes.
3. 心理细节：让情绪“be seen”（别直接说“我很紧张”）
核心方法 ：
结尾“升华主题”，戳中高分关键点
错误示范：After the exhibition, I took my painting back and felt happy.（只写结果，无主题）
正确示范：Looking at the painting, I suddenly understood—Mrs. Larson wanted us to paint our “personal journey” not for a perfect work, but to find the courage to face our fears in creation. That’s the real meaning of this assignment
成长
勇气
一、内容与结构 (Content & Structure)
1. 紧密衔接给定开头：
第一段：紧接着“午夜钟声”展开，详细描述完成画作后的状态（精疲力尽但内心平静）、画作的具体样貌以及它所象征的情感，呼应前文“画出感受”的提示。
第二段：紧接着“惊讶地看到很多人”展开，细致地描绘了从“紧张”到“释然”再到“自豪”的心理变化过程，并最终升华主题。
2. 情节发展完整且合理：
①个人成长线：
恐惧 → 尝试 → 释放 → 平静 → 紧张 → 被认可 → 自信（完整、积极且合理的情绪弧光）
②故事结局： 不仅画作获得了认可（Mia和老师的评价），更重要的是主角实现了自我突破，点明了“勇气”才是真正的杰作这一深刻主题。
技巧总结
一、内容与结构 (Content & Structure)
3. 首尾呼应并升华主题：
开头: 强调 个人旅程 (personal journey)
结尾: 点明 作业的精髓 (essence of the assignment)
将主题从“完成一幅画”提升到“战胜自我，找到勇气”的更高层次，这是获得高分的关键。
二、语言表达 (Language & Expression)
1. 高级词汇与短语 (Advanced Vocabulary):
was overshadowed by (被…所掩盖): 比 was replaced by 更高级。
a terrifying void (可怕的虚空): 生动描述空白画布带来的压迫感。
messy yet harmonious (混乱而和谐的): 形成对比，富有张力。
ignited in me (在我心中点燃): 比喻用法，比 gave me 更形象。
The raw emotion is breathtaking (原始的情感令人窒息): 模拟了高级的艺术评论用语。
essence of the assignment (作业的精髓): 地道且准确的表达
二、语言表达 (Language & Expression)
2. 丰富的句式结构 (Sentence Variety):
状语从句: Exhaustion washed over me, but it was overshadowed by...
比喻修辞 : Streaks of dark blue and grey swirled like stormy waves... 像风暴中的海浪一样旋转
现在分词作状语: ...she said, her eyes sparkling with pride. 她的眼睛闪烁着骄傲。
(描写更生动)
强调句: ...the greatest masterpiece wasn't the painting on the wall, but the courage I found within myself...
（有力地突出了主题）
二、语言表达 (Language & Expression)
3. 感官与细节描写 (Sensory Details):
视觉:
Streaks of dark blue and grey, bold strokes of gold and fiery orange, buzz of appreciation.深蓝与灰色的纹路交织，金色的浓墨重彩挥洒其间，还有一抹炽热的橙色，如同迸发的赞叹，鲜活灵动。
心理:
A wave of nervousness hit me, My heart soared.
三、可借鉴的万能句型 (Useful Sentence Frames)
1. 描述如释重负的感受:
Exhaustion washed over me, but it was overshadowed by a profound sense of peace/accomplishment.
A wave of relief/release washed away all my anxiety.
2. 描述作品与情感的联系:
I hadn't painted a perfect picture; I had painted my journey — from... to...
The canvas was no longer... but a... record of my inner world.
三、可借鉴的万能句型 (Useful Sentence Frames)
3. 描述周围人的反应:
A wave of nervousness hit me. Were they criticizing it Then, I overheard their whispers: "..."
Sb.was by my side, squeezing my hand. / patting me on the shoulder.
Sb. approached, giving me an approving nod.
4. 进行主题升华:
In that moment, I realized the greatest victory wasn't [外在成就], but the [内在品质] I found within myself.
Looking at it, I understood that what mattered was not the result, but the courage to try.
A possible verion
The clock struck midnight as I finally stepped back from the painting stand. Exhaustion washed over me, but it was overshadowed by a profound sense of peace.（用“衔接句型”：“疲惫但平静”，贴合场景，情绪转折自然） The canvas was no longer a terrifying void but a messy yet harmonious record of my inner world.（扣“paint how you feel”：绑定画布与内心，不跑偏） Streaks of dark blue and grey swirled like stormy waves, representing my initial fears and confusion. But bursting through them were bold strokes of gold and fiery orange, capturing the hope and passion Mia had ignited in me. （感官细节+比喻：视觉感拉满，藏情绪变化）I hadn't painted a perfect picture; I had painted my journey—from the shadows of self-doubt into the light of self-expression. （连接作品与情感：点“personal journey”，铺垫主题）I turned off the light, leaving the painting to dry in the moonlight, and for the first time, I felt like a true artist.（动作+情绪：画面感强，呼应成长）
Two days later, I was surprised to see so many people gathering around my work at the exhibition. A wave of nervousness hit me. Were they criticizing it （用“展会情绪句型”：“紧张怕批评”，真实自然） Then, I overheard their whispers: "The raw emotion is breathtaking," and "The use of color is so powerful." （感官细节+他人反应：推动情节）My heart soared. Suddenly, Mia was by my side, squeezing my hand. "See I told you," she beamed, her eyes sparkling with pride. （动作+互动：闺蜜支持很暖心）Mrs. Larson approached, giving me an approving nod. "Lily, this is exceptional. You've truly captured the essence of the assignment."（扣“personal journey”：老师评价印证主题） In that moment, surrounded by the buzz of appreciation, I realized the greatest masterpiece wasn't the painting on the wall, but the courage I found within myself to create it.（用“升华句型”：点明核心，戳高分点）
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