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人教版新目标九年级英语Unit12单元主题写作
学生优秀作文精选及名师点评
作文要求
书面表达 (本题 15 分) 请根据要求完成短文写作。
人生是一次不可逆转的旅程，从不缺少意外和惊喜。你有过什么出乎意料的经历吗？请你根据以下思维导图的提示，用英文写一篇短文向你校英语周报投稿，讲述自己的一次意外经历。
一次出乎意料的经历
经历发生的背景（时间、起因） 经历的过程 …… 感悟与收获
经过 ……
结果
高分作文（1）
An Unexpected Experience
Life is full of the unexpected. When it comes to an unexpected experience, something happened last Wednesday leaves a deep impression on me.
It was a sunny day and I made an appointment to see a film with my friend. However, my bike broke down when passing by the park. Neither my friend nor I was able to get it repaired, which made us really disappointed. All of a sudden, we saw some children flying kites in the park and I came up with an idea,“Why not go to the park instead ” Later, we had so much fun there that we even forgot about the trouble just now.
From the experience, I know that when we come across difficulties, we should not only deal with them calmly but also try to look at it from a new angle. Only by doing so can we turn our bad luck into something unexpected.
名师点评：
结构：严格遵循思维导图逻辑，清晰呈现 “经历背景（时间、起因）— 经历过程（经过、结果）— 感悟收获” 的完整脉络，逻辑连贯。
内容：选取 “看电影途中自行车故障却意外在公园收获乐趣” 的生活场景，情节转折自然，紧扣 “出乎意料” 的主题，贴近学生生活。
语言表达：运用 “come up with an idea”“have so much fun that...”“deal with...calmly” 等亮点短语，且有 “Neither...nor...”“Why not... ” 等句式变化，丰富表达层次。
语法准确性：语法完全正确，表达流畅自然。
高分作文（2）
An Unexpected Experience
Life is a one-way journey full of surprises. One unexpected experience that I’ll never forget happened last summer vacation.
I had always been shy and afraid of speaking in public. So I signed up for an English speech contest not only to challenge myself but also to push my limits. I spent day and night practicing every sentence so that my speech flowed smoothly. This great effort made it possible to calm my nerves when the contest day arrived.On stage, my legs trembled at first. But only when I started speaking did my tension fade.I delivered the speech fluently and confidently. To my surprise, I won first prize!How surprising life is!
This experience taught me that we should step out of our comfort zones. You never know what amazing things you can achieve until you try. It also made me realize that preparation and courage can turn the unexpected into something wonderful.
名师点评：
结构：完全契合题目要求，以 “报名演讲比赛挑战自我 — 精心准备并参赛 — 意外获奖” 为线索，结构清晰且层层递进。
内容：聚焦 “克服害羞、突破自我并收获意外奖项” 的成长经历，主题积极励志，故事具有感染力，易引发读者共鸣。
语言表达：词汇和句式较为高级，如 “step out of our comfort zones”“push my limits”“delivered the speech fluently and confidently”，还运用了倒装句 “Only when I started speaking did my tension fade.”，提升了文章档次。
语法准确性：语法完全正确，表达流畅自然。
高分作文（3）
An Unexpected Experience
One of the most unexpected experiences in my life was that I made great progress in English in the mid-exam. It's my great pleasure to share it with you about what happened.
Because of a serious illness, I was absent from classes for several days.When I came back to school , I found it difficult for me to catch with up what the teacher said. But I felt very lucky to have an excellent friend Mary , who is warm-hearted and ready to help others in need.As a result, I made full use of my spare time to put all my heart into the study. To my surprise and relief , I didn’t live up to her expectation. What' more, I got the second place in my class, which made me gain a sense of satisfaction.
From the bottom of my heart, my best friend is the true friend who I need to make,because she can help me out in time.Besides, I believe that where there is a will, there is a way.
名师点评：
结构：按要求完整呈现 “因病缺课遇学习困难 — 朋友帮助 + 自身努力 — 英语成绩意外进步” 的过程，结构完整。
内容：围绕学习领域的 “意外进步” 展开，突出友情支持与自身坚持的重要性，主题积极且有现实意义。
语言表达：使用 “be absent from”“catch up with”“put all my heart into” 等地道短语。
语法准确性：整体语法正确。
高分作文（4）
An Unexpected Experience
There is no denying that life is full of the unexpected. Not only is it a surprise in my life, but it also leaves me with unforgettable memories. I feel like sharing with you an unexpected experience that completely changes my mind.
It was a cold evening and it rained heavily. I forgot to take an umbrella with me, so I had to rush into a small store to wait for the rain to stop. The salesman looked quite unfriendly when I entered the store because I just came in and didn’t buy anything immediately. I even thought that he would ask me to leave. To avoid embarrassment, I decided to buy an umbrella. Unfortunately, my cell phone had run out of power so I could not pay for it. To my surprise, this man smiled and paid for it. What a kind man he was! I was ashamed of what I thought before. We had a quick chat and I realized that he only seemed kind of upset because of the bad weather. Finally, I went home with the umbrella, filled with gratitude.
All in all, what I learned from this experience is that we should never judge someone easily. Moreover, we are supposed to give a hand to someone in need.
名师点评：
结构：清晰呈现 “雨夜忘带伞躲进小店 — 对店员的误解与意外帮助 — 收获感悟” 的情节，转折自然，紧扣 “出乎意料” 的核心。
内容：选取 “陌生人善意相助” 的生活场景，通过 “误解 — 感恩” 的情感变化，体现人性温暖，主题有深度且积极。
语言表达：运用 “There is no denying that...”“Not only...but also...”“be ashamed of”“filled with gratitude” 等多样表达，句式丰富（原因状语从句、结果状语从句等）。
语法准确性：语法完全正确，表达流畅地道。

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