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人教新目标九年级英语Unit14单元主题写作
学生优秀作文精选及名师点评
Part 1.书面表达
高分作文（1）
To My Beloved School
Dear teachers and classmates,
It’s my great pleasure to stand here and express my sincere thanks to our school. Our school is not only a beautiful garden with lovely scenery but also a platform that helps us grow and make progress. However, what touches me most is its warm atmosphere.
I still remember the day when I didn’t do well in an English speech contest. My English teacher,who is both kind and patient,encouraged me to believe in myself and practice as confidently as possible. What’s more, the class group tasks we worked on together taught me a precious lesson: teamwork can turn small efforts into great achievements.
Although I’m going to set out on my new learning journey soon,I sincerely wish our beloved school will keep shining brightly, gain more wonderful achievements, and nurture more excellent students in the future.
名师点评：
内容结构：紧扣主题，完整覆盖思维导图的 “对母校的看法（环境 + 氛围）”“校园生活（演讲比赛受挫、小组任务）”“祝福” 板块，事例具体且情感真挚，结构清晰紧凑。
语言句式表达：运用 “not only...but also...”“what touches me most” 等句式增强表达层次，定语从句（“who is both kind and patient”）让表述更生动，符合演讲的感染力。
语法准确性：各类从句（定语从句、宾语从句）语法精准，时态运用恰当，无明显语法错误，语言规范流畅。
高分作文（2）
Good evening, dear teachers and classmates! I’m Li Hua. It is my honor to make a speech on behalf of the graduates of 2026.
Our school, which is surrounded by green trees and colorful flowers, creates a peaceful environment for study. More importantly, the teachers here are not only knowledgeable but also caring. They have guided us patiently and inspired us to become better people.
During these three years, I have gained a lot. I still remember the sports day when we cheered for each other, the science festival that aroused our interest, and the English speech contest that helped build up my confidence. With the support of my teachers and friends, I have learned to face challenges bravely and work together as a team.
As we are about to leave, I sincerely wish our school a brighter future. May it continue to offer high-quality education and inspire more students to chase their dreams with courage.
名师点评：
内容结构：紧扣 “致我的母校” 主题，完整覆盖思维导图板块：先从 “环境 + 教师”两方面清晰表达对母校的看法，再以 “运动会、科技节、演讲比赛” 等具体事例展现校园生活，结尾的祝福贴合毕业情境，结构清晰、情感真挚。
语言句式表达：运用定语从句（“which is surrounded by...”）、排比（“the sports day... the science festival... the English speech contest”）等句式，语言生动且符合演讲的感染力，表述流畅自然。
语法准确性：句式复杂但语法精准，无明显语法错误，时态（一般现在时、现在完成时）运用恰当，符合语境。
高分作文（3）
I love my school because it's not only a beautiful and fascinating place but also a place where I can get much knowledge.School is like a treasure boxed filled with unforgettable moments.It’s my pleasure to share with you.
Campus life is colorful and full of fun. Every morning, we walk into the campus with the rising sun and start a day of learning. In class, we listen to the teachers, take notes carefully, study hard, and constantly improve ourselves.After class, we can participate in various club activities, such as drawing, singing,playing
basketball, and so on. These activities help us exercise, relax, and better understand each other,strengthening our friendships.
As a member of the students in my school, I sincerely hope that my school will have a brighter future and cultivate more outstanding students!
名师点评：
内容结构：围绕 “对母校的看法（环境 + 知识获取）”“校园生活（学习 + 社团活动）”“祝福” 展开，贴合思维导图要求；以 “清晨入校”“课上课下” 的细节展现校园生活，内容真实可感。
语言句式表达：用 “like a treasure box” 等比喻让语言生动，“such as drawing... and so on” 清晰列举活动，表述简洁且符合演讲场景。
语法准确性：基础语法（时态、主谓一致）运用准确，虽句式偏基础，但表意清晰无错误。
高分作文（4）
How time flies! My school life is coming to an end. I am glad to express my thanks to my school. It not only provides me with a beautiful and peaceful environment, but also gives me a chance to study hard and achieve my dream. It’s my honor to share my school life with you.
When it comes to my school life, these sweet memories come into my mind. One of the most unforgettable experiences is the sports meeting held every year. I took an active part in running races and even won the first prize last year, which made me realize the importance of perseverance. In addition, our daily sports training leaves a deep impression on me. Only when we keep on practicing over and over again can we get good grades in the sports exam. More importantly, I am truly grateful to my teachers and classmates who not only teach me important knowledge but also guide me to become a better person.
All in all, my heart is filled with gratitude. I sincerely wish my school a brighter future and everyone will achieve their dreams.
名师点评：
内容结构：结构完整，从 “对母校的看法（环境 + 成长平台）”“校园生活（运动会、日常训练）”“感恩与祝福” 展开，以 “运动会获奖” 的具体事例突出成长，情感饱满且逻辑连贯。
语言句式表达：运用 “how time flies” 等常用表达，结合倒装句（“Only when... can we...”）、非限定性定语从句（“which made me realize...”）丰富句式，语言流畅有感染力。
语法准确性：复杂句式（定语从句、倒装句）语法精准，时态（现在完成时、一般过去时）运用恰当，无语法错误。

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